"Nothing!" I said, scrambling to pick up the other piece of paper and turning it over. I felt myself visibly deflate as I read my own name on the other side; which meant James had the list.

"It looks like a rather extravagant to-do list," James muttered furrowing his eyebrows as he read through the list.

"I suppose that's what it is." I tucked the envelop back into my pocket and stared at James.

"Go to the seaside? I doubt you'll be able to do all of this in a few days."

"The list isn't mine, at least, I didn't come up with what was on it."

"I'm not sure I'm following," Matthew said, pushing himself off the chair with his newly bandaged hand and looking at the list of James' shoulder. Despite the two of them looking similar, Matthew was almost a head taller than James.

"I had a friend at the factory called Isabel, she was the one killed in the fire six months ago. She would always talk about what she was going to do when she got out, but she never had the chance."

"So, you're going to do it instead?"

I nodded slowly as Matthew spoke. He looked down at the list and I watched as his eyes darted backwards and forwards as he read the words on the page. Neither of them spoke as they read, both looked as though they were taking the information in and trying to figure out what to say next. I didn't blame them, the list was a strange thing to be carrying around, and the reason why was even stranger. Some of the things on the list itself were strange in themselves, but Isabel had never been one to do things by half. She was the one who suggested we all injured ourselves to get out of the factory and regularly screamed through the small window in the dormitories to see if anyone would hear her.

To those who didn't know Isabel, who didn't know what she was like, the list just looked like a mish-mash of different things. As James had put it, an extravagant to-do list with things that seemed improbable to a servant like me. Some were possible, such as owning a pretty dress that had been designed for me, and me alone. All I needed to do was save up my pay and if I had enough, I could pay someone to make me dress. Going to the seaside or falling in love were rather farfetched and extremely unlike. The first one could happen with the help of Doctor Ealing and some better weather, but the other felt impossible. I'm not sure why we even put it on the list.

"'Reacquaint myself with my family,'" Matthew read, bitterness laced his voice as he spoke.

"Isabel always said she wanted to see her family again, to ask them why they had left her at the factory. I kept it on the list because it was one of the most important things in her life," I mumbled, my eyes focusing on a small spot on the ground.

"What about you? How do you feel about it?"

"I was unsure, at first, that's why we wrote the list."

"And now?" He asked. I shrugged. "Did you agree to meet me - to meet us - to cross off a part of the list or did you genuinely want to see us?"

"Matthew, don't," James warned.

"At first the list played a part, but it was my decision to make, not a piece of papers."

"If this list hadn't have existed, would you have agreed to see us?"

"I don't know."

"So, we're here because of some list?"

Matthew looked up from the list and stared at me, his eyes cold as though he wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation. I didn't say anything. I had planned to tell them about the list, it wasn't something I was going to keep quiet for very long, but I needed to find the right time to tell them. Evidently, it was not the right time for them to find out and Matthew took it as though I had insulted him to his face. The list may have contributed to my decision to meet them, but it didn't make my mind up for me, I did. I decided I wanted to see him and talk to him for the first in seven years, the list had simply given me the nudge to do that. Matthew didn't see it that way, though.

"You agreed to talk to me because it was written on some list because it was something your friend wanted to do, not you? Did you even want to see us when you left the factory or were you going to stay hidden?"

"It's not like that!"

"What is it like then? From where I'm standing, we wouldn't be here if that list hadn't had been written. We would still be wondering where you were, and you would have kept us in the dark about all of it. All you wanted to do was complete the list, we didn't matter to you." Matthew pulled his wallet from his pocket, handed Doctor Ealing some coins and stalked out of the room.

"Matthew!" I called, lightly nudging past James and standing in the door was Matthew walked down the corridor and out of the door, not even looking back as he went.

"I'll go, he's just confused," James said, coming up behind me. He handed me the list, smiled slightly and followed Matthew. I stood in the corridor watching the door close and wondering if I would ever see either of them again.

Sighing, I slumped back against the wall and pressed my hand against my face as the silence descended upon the small corridor. Just as things felt as though they were getting better, something always happened to turn it on its head and leave me to pick up the pieces. It had happened at the factory, it had happened six months ago before the fire and it was happening again. I felt as though I was trapped in a never-ending cycle, a cycle which meant no matter what I did, no matter what happened, I was never going to be happy. Someone had plans for other than happiness, but I wished those plans would have changed.

I hated feeling as though nothing was ever going to change. When I had left the factory, I thought it would be a new start with new people, even with the burn. A week later I was forced to return to that world and Isabel was killed. The six months I had been working for the Ealing's started smoothly and then I had been given my first infraction. I had meant my brothers for the first time in seven years, gotten to know them and their families and it all just imploded in my face. Somethings always happened to make me feel as though I didn't belong anywhere.

Pushing myself off the wall, I turned the corner and walked back into the room where Doctor Ealing and Robert were both stood staring at me. I tucked the list back into my pocket and crossed the room to take a seat on the sofa, placing my hand in my lap and looking at the ground. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Robert move across the room and stand next to his father before he muttered something I couldn't make out. I watched his shadow move across the room until the spot on the chair next to me dipped as he sat down. After a few seconds of silence, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

"Come on," he said, tugging my hand and dragging me across the room.

"Where are going?" I groaned, trying to resist as he pulled me out of the room and down the corridor.

"Somewhere."

"I don't want to go anywhere."

"I don't care. Father has agreed, so we're going somewhere. I'm not telling you where you, though, that is a secret."

"You're a pain."

"I know."

Robert's grip on my arm tightened as he dragged me down the corridor and out the front door, pausing slightly to close it behind him as he continued to pull me down the steps and through the streets. Some people turned and watched as he pulled me, not once releasing my arm from his grip as we went. I was sure there was some sort of etiquette rule surrounding dragging a girl through the streets, but I didn't know what it was, and I didn't care. All I cared about was my fingers as they started to go numb and where exactly Robert was taking me.

He didn't say anything as we moved through small alleyways and across London; it felt as though we had been walking for hours before he finally came to a stop. He released my arm and gave me a wait-there gesture before slipping into one of the buildings and returning a few seconds later with Tommy and Mathias, both looking just as confused as I was about what was going on. Robert didn't grab my hand again, instead he just motioned for us to follow him as he took us a little further through London and eventually towards the school were Suzanna and Lucy were.

The three of us followed him up the steps and stood watching as he knocked on the door and we waited for Matron Jesop to open the door. When the door was opened, a hushed whisper of words passed between the two of them before we were gestured inside with Robert in the lead. We followed him through the school and out the back door to the garden where he progressed a little way and came to a stop, clearing his throat and scaring both Suzanna and Lucy who had been sitting on the ground in front of us.

"Right, you are going to sit here with your friends and forget about what just happened. Forget about the infraction, my mother, your shoulder, all of it and be a normal fourteen-year-old," Robert said, placing his hand on my shoulder and pushing me down to the floor.

"What are you going to do?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm going to come and get some cakes because I'm hungry. I'll be back in a little while, but for now, play nice." Robert winked at me before turning around and leaving.

"That was ... odd," Tommy said.

"Robert's like that sometimes."

"I think we're goin' to need an explanation, Rosie. Come on, out with it," Lucy said.

As Tommy and Mathias sat down the grass, I launched into the story about the previous week's events. Suzanna and Lucy knew I had met Matthew at the office, but they knew nothing about the infraction or my shoulder or any of what had happened since that afternoon. None of them said anything as I explained the previous events and went into a lot more detail then perhaps was necessary about what had just happened at the office. I showed them all the list and just how many issues it had caused since I had written it and just how much things were starting to unravel around me.

When I finished, I played with the edge of my dress as the four of them looked at each other without saying anything. The story seemed extravagant to me, I couldn't imagine how it felt to them, especially as it had all happened in such a short period of time. Even I was a little stunned at how much had happened over the course of a few days, it almost felt as though it was part of a storybook rather than real life. After a few minutes of silence as they processed the story, someone spoke.

"Wha' is it with you and gettin' into trouble?" Tommy said, grinning at me.

"I don't do it on purpose, it just happens."

"Hm, o' course. Who wrote the list? Tha' ain't your handwriting."

"Matilda wrote it, she was the one who suggested I write it all down in the first place.

"How is Miss Matilda?" Mathias nudged him hard in the ribs.

"Not the time, Tommy. Sounds like you've had a rough couple of days, though I don't think I understand why you got the infraction. By the sounds of it, you saved Zachariah's life," Mathias said.

"Try telling Mrs Ealing that, she won't change her mind. I'm just lucky I didn't get another infraction for injuring myself and ending up being unable to do my own chores."

"Don't hate me for saying," Suzanna started, "but I sort of understand where Matthew is coming from."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I expect he was excited to know you wanted to see him after so long, that finding out it was written on a to-do list just shattered any hope that it was a choice. If he had heard about the list when you first spoke to him, it wouldn't be that big of an issue. He probably feels as though you lied to him like you're doing it purely to complete the list rather than to get to know him and his family. Family is a complicated issue, we know that better than anyone. I'd give Matthew a few days to calm down before you try and explain it any further, maybe James can help, maybe not. You'll just have to wait and see."

I knew Suzanna was right, throughout the years I had known her she had always been the one to talk sense into us all. Yet I hated the idea of having to wait around for Matthew to understand where I was coming from, but I didn't have much of a choice in that regard. Yes, the list may have given me the nudge I needed to agree to talk to Matthew or even talk to James, but I was glad it had. They were family, and whilst I had created my own family at the factory, they were related by blood and knew what it was like with Father and just how much had fallen apart when Mother died. They knew me more than anyone ever could, even without the past seven years.

As we sat there, Robert returned with a brown paper bag full of cream cakes which he unfolded on the grass as he sat down between Mathias and Lucy. Seeing Robert sitting among my friends from the factory felt odd, he looked remarkably out of his place in his shirt and waist cut compared to the rest of us who were in some form of work clothing. Nonetheless, he slotted himself into the discussion rather well and spent a large portion of the afternoon entertaining the others with stories about himself as a child or the twins. He had a calming air about him that helped considerably.

We sat there talking until the sun started to set and the wind grew considerably colder. I had missed sitting around with my friends and just talking, we had done it every day at lunchtime back at the factory and since moving in with the Ealing's I hadn't had the chance. Eventually, Robert made the decision that we needed to return to the office, so we left Suzanna and Lucy sitting on the grass and walked back towards the office, saying goodbye to Tommy and Mathias as we went.

"Mathias and Lucy seem close," Robert said as he finished the last of one of the cream cakes. Although we ate some of them, there were still some left.

"They always have been. We learnt about what happened to the boys because those two were as close as they were. Nothing has changed since they left the factory."

"Hm, I thought boys and girls were kept separate."

"We were, but we came into contact and would talk through the doors in the dormitory. We used to tease them and say they were sweethearts."

"It looks like they are, they were none too happy with me sitting between them." Robert grinned, clearly pleased with himself, though I wasn't sure why he thought getting between Lucy and Matthias was a good thing.

"Everyone seems so happy, they have nothing getting in their way," I murmured.

"Don't say that. Everything is going to work itself out, you just have to wait. I can't speak for your brother, but I'm sure he'll come to his senses and I'm sure Mother will as well. Once she realises how crazy she's acting, she'll revoke the infraction, and everything will be fine."

"Easy for you to say."

"I know, I just said it. Come on, we should get going or Father will probably kill me. I said we would only be gone for a little while."

Robert pulled a face at me and walked a little faster down the road as we approached the office. As we went, we passed by a worksite and I thought I heard Matthew's voice, but with his hand still heavily bandaged, I knew it wasn't him. I just got my hopes up. I followed Robert down the road, putting Matthew and James out of my mind as we approached the office. Doctor Ealing was standing on the front steps with his pocket watch in hand and he was watching the street for Robert and me as we approached.

He raised an eyebrow at Robert as we approached by gestured us into the carriage without another word. I followed Robert into the carriage and settled into the chair next to him as the carriage pulled away and started down the road towards the house. As we went, I pulled the list out of my pocket and read through it. Some of it did seem rather extravagant, and not something that I could achieve by the new year, but I liked having the goals to look forward to when everything else looked bad. Out of all the things on the list, the one thing I was looking forward to was going to the seaside and seeing the ocean for the first time in seven years.

I settled against the carriage seat and tucked the list back into my pocket, gazing out of the window as darkness settled over London. I had started the day somewhat optimistic about spending another day away from Mrs Ealing and her watchful eyes, but the day had ended in a disagreement with my own brother and the worry that I would never see him again. It always seemed to be one step forward and two steps back.

Everything felt as though it was coming undone.

~~~

A/N - We are back with Chapter Fourteen whilst I write Chapter Twenty (I don't even remember what happens in this chapter xD). I go back to uni very soon so I should have enough chapters to tie us over whilst Uni starts up and hopefully, I can keep the pre-written chapters going so we'll always have a weekly update!

Anyway, opinions on the chapter? Was Matthew right to over-react about the letter? Does anyone else feel like Robert is trying to spend as much time with Rosie as possible? What about that last line? Intense or what!

Comment below!

Dedication - This chapter is dedicated to amelierhys who has an AMAZING book called 'Before She Ruled'. I read the first three chapters as part of my Critique service over in the Community and I loved it!

First Published - August 27th, 2019