Despite Robert's attempt at optimism, it failed to have the desired effect and I returned to the house feeling as though I had once again managed to mess everything up. I know I hadn't intended to hurt Matthew, I would never do such a thing, but I had hurt him, and I didn't know how to fix it; if it could be fixed. James would try and help, but there was only so much he could do. I had been the one to mess up and I had to be the one to repair the damage. Yet, part of me wondered if repairing it would be worth it. I had known Matthew for all, but a few days and he had been so quick to assume the meaning of the letter that I wondered how he would feel if he knew the real me. He didn't know everything about the factory, about what I had done, no one did.

Returning to the kitchen that night certainly didn't seem to help matters. Miss Jenkins spent most of the evening rushing around the kitchen completing last-minute chores whilst Esther didn't appear until almost midnight. Both were exhausted and Esther looked as though she would fall asleep at any moment. I sat at the table watching them, feeling bad for creating more work for them rather than taking from the load. The injury to my shoulder meant more chores for Esther and Miss Jenkins whilst I sat around and did nothing.

I felt so bad I couldn't even bring myself to eat.

I poked at the food on the plate in front of me whilst they continued to work but I didn't eat any of it. After a little while, I pushed the plate back across the table and muttered something about the cream cakes I had eaten before slipping from the room and climbing the stairs. My stomach growled as I took a seat on the bed and peered into the sling on my arm, wiggling my fingers inside of it. The cream cakes had done nothing to defeat the hunger, but I couldn't stand to be sitting there when they were working, it didn't feel right. I had been brought in to help, but I had become more of a hindrance.

As I sat on the bed, I could hear Miss Jenkins and Esther below as they finished up their chores and started locking the doors and preparing the house for the night. Sighing to myself, I pushed myself off the bed and crossed the room to the chest of drawers, pulling the top one open and peering inside. Tucked inside were the few things I possessed, my spare work uniform, my Sunday dress, my nightgown, and the small toy Robert had given me not long after I started working at the house. I ran my fingers across the toy, placing it in the folded-up crevice of my spare work dress. Not even Esther knew I had the toy.

Esther entered the room almost half an hour later looking exhausted. She dragged her feet across the floorboards, struggling to keep her eyes open as she fumbled around for her nightdress. When she found it, she hastily pulled it on and climbed into bed. She fell asleep almost immediately. Her breathing filled the silence in the room as I listened to Miss Jenkins footsteps as they retreated out of the kitchen and towards her own room. I wasn't entirely sure where her room was, I hadn't asked. With the kitchen empty and the house seemingly asleep, I crept out of the room and back down the stairs.

The kitchen was basked in darkness when I entered, all except the brazier which flicked in the corner of the room. I grabbed a small lantern and lit the candle on the side with a match, placing it on the table and taking a seat. Listening to the sounds of the night, I drummed my fingernails on the table in front of me. Owls hooted beyond the walls and the harsh wind rattled the windows and knocked buckets together. I had never been afraid of the dark or of the night, I could think better when there was no one around.

Even though it was late, I didn't' feel tired. I had too many thoughts zipping through my brain at a fast pace to even think about sleeping. Instead, I listened to the house creak and groan in the silence and the noises coming from just outside the window. Back at the factory, we could hear horses or men leaving the public houses in the dead of night we never heard nature. Sitting at the kitchen table, I heard the creak of a floorboard just up the stairs, it was louder than the other creaks and caught my attention.

I grabbed the lantern and turned to face the door, listening to the creaking floorboards grew louder as they came down the stairs. The light from the lantern shone through the doorway as a small figure in a nightdress appeared. The figure had something tucked under their arm and stared at me as I lifted the lantern a little higher to reveal Charlotte.

"What are you doing awake?" I asked, lowering the lantern and placing it on the table.

"I couldn't sleep, I don't like the wind," she muttered.

"Come here." I held my arm out and Charlotte shuffled into the room. She took my hand and climbed onto my lap, laying her head against my chest. She leant herself my right arm but didn't touch my shoulder.

"The wind is scary."

"Hm, the wind can be scary, but the wind is out there and you're in here. It can't get you, I wouldn't let it."

"Really?" She looked up at me.

"Of course, the wind won't get you whilst I'm here. I promise."

"Why are you awake? Did the wind scare you too?"

"Not exactly, I just can't sleep."

"You should sleep," Charlotte said matter-of-factly, her voice almost distant as she started to fall asleep.

"You should too. Come on, I'll tuck you in."

Charlotte clambered off my lap and slipped her hand into mine. I pulled my right arm out of the sling and grabbed the lantern off the table, holding it up as we left the kitchen and started up the stairs. The stairs opened up to the main hallway which was filled with the soft silver light of the moon as the clouds moved across the sky and exposed it for a brief second. Charlotte tugged on my hand and we climbed the second set of stairs and onto the next hallway. The hallway was covered in darkness, the only light coming from the lantern as Charlotte and I reached her room.

The door had been left partially open and I knocked the lantern against it until it opened full. Charlotte released my hand and traipsed across the room, grabbing onto the blankets and pulling herself into bed as the wind passed by her window. Someone had left the curtains wide open, so I placed the lantern onto the chest of drawers and pulled the shut, blocking out the word and Charlotte nestled herself into the blankets. With the curtains closed, I moved towards the bed and started to tuck the blankets around Charlotte, who giggled as I tried to make it as tight as possible.

"There! Now nothing can get you!" I exclaimed, grinning at Charlotte who hugged her bunny tighter to her chest.

"I'm glad you got to stay," she mumbled, her head rolling to the side as she started to fall asleep.

"Me too," I whispered.

I grabbed the lantern from the chest of drawers and crept out of the room, leaving Charlotte as she started to nod off despite the wind that whipped around outside. Closing the door behind me, I walked to the end of the hallway and stared out of the window that overlooked the grounds. The trees shook violently as the wind hit them, the rustling travelling through the closed window and into the hallway. There didn't seem to be any light outside, not even the moonlight as the clouds kept it hidden from view. Everything was peaceful, and calm as the house slept.

Lifting the lantern a little higher, I made my way back down the hallway and down the stairs to the kitchen where I placed the lantern back on the table and took a seat. I listened to the wind outside the creaks of the floorboards throughout the house despite no one being around. I like the house when it was quiet, it meant I couldn't get into trouble for something as simple as breathing or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The wind picked up speed as I tucked my right arm back into the sling and rested it against the fabric.

My stomach growled at me as I sat there, grumbling longer than the wind seemed to blow in protest about me not eating anything. Finally giving in, I stood up and grabbed the lantern before leaving the room and slipping into the pantry. I grabbed a loaf of bread and some cheese which I tucked into my sling as I headed back into the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the drawer and a plate. After placing the knife and plate onto the table I pulled the cheese and loaf of bread – which had left crumbs inside my sling – out and put them on the table.

I tried to slice the bread into two slices with my left hand, but the bread kept slipping away as I attempted to saw through it. Eventually, I took my right arm out of the sling and grabbed onto the bread to stop it from slipping away as I cut off two slices and laid on the table. Using the same method, I sliced the block of cheese and laid the slices against on piece of bread before placing the bread together to make a sandwich. My stomach continued to growl as I put the sandwich on the plate and sat back down, not bothering to put my arm into the sling. I needed both hands to eat a sandwich.

"Late night snack?" A voice said behind me. I jumped slightly and seized the lantern, swinging it around to show Robert leaning against the door frame with a grin on his face.

"You could say that," I said, putting the lantern on the table. "You?"

"I needed a drink. Shouldn't your arm be in the sling?"

"Try cutting a loaf of bread with one hand and then get back to me, it's harder than it looks. Besides, I used my hand and not my shoulder, so no harm done."

"I'll take your word for it." Robert crossed the room and took a glass from one of the cupboards. "Were you walking around upstairs earlier on? I thought I heard footsteps."

"Yes, Charlotte couldn't sleep because of the wind, she came down here, but I took her back to bed. It looks as though she's stayed in bed this time."

"She's never been a fan of storms or bad weather, she will refuse to go to sleep during a thunderstorm."

"Isabel was the same, she hated storms and used to put cotton in her ears to block out the thunder, though I don't think it ever had the desired effect."

"You miss her, don't you?"

Robert filled the glass up with water and pulled out the chair opposite me whilst I took a seat in mine and tore off a piece of bread. Talking about Isabel, even six months after her death, pained me more than I cared to admit. I saw her in Charlotte and Zachariah, the little things they did that reminded me of her. The way Charlotte would suck her thumb when she was nervous or when Zachariah would stare up at the night sky in awe and wonder whenever the night was clear. The small things they did always brought me back to her and made me miss her all over again. I hadn't had the chance to grieve Mother, everything happened so quickly after she died, but grieving Isabel felt like an impossible task.

"That was a stupid question, sorry," he added when I didn't answer.

"No, it's fine, it's just hard to talk about her sometimes."

"I understand. Mother was the same when Grandfather died, she refused to talk about him for months. Even now, she still struggles. It'll get easier, you'll see."

"So, everyone keeps telling me, but no one can tell me when."

"Everyone deals with these things differently, that much I know." He paused. "I'll leave you to your sandwich, Mother isn't a fan of us being out of bed and if she finds out she'll probably give an infraction or something. You should go to bed as well, it was almost half-past three when I came down."

"I will, right after I've eaten this."

"If you say so. Goodnight, Rosie."

"Goodnight, Robert."

Robert smiled and seized the glass of water before standing up and leaving me alone with my sandwich and the flickering light coming from the lantern. As his footsteps retreated, I leant both wrists on the table and grabbed hold of the sandwich, my stomach groaning as the smell of the cheese filled my nostrils. I took a bite, almost eating the whole thing at once, the sandwich tasted good after nothing but cream cakes and some toast earlier that morning. My stomach grumbled happily as I ate and before I knew it, I had eaten the whole thing and slumped myself back against the chair.

Once again, I listened to nothing more than the sleeping sounds of the house and the weather outside. Floorboards creaked even though no one was around, and candlesticks knocked together as gusts of wind blew through the small gaps in the house. Robert had told me a story during my first week as a full-time employee about a ghost that supposedly haunted the hallways of the house. I thought the whole thing was nonsense, we used to joke about ghosts back at the factory, but they weren't real, just stories we told to entertain ourselves. I knew Robert was doing the same thing. Even with the noises the house made, ghosts were just stories.

Finishing up the sandwich, I dusted the crumbs off my skirt and onto the floor before standing up and grabbing the hunk cheese and the loaf of bread. With my right arm still free of the sling, I took them both into the pantry and laid them down on the counter. I returned to the kitchen and quickly washed off the plate and knife so Miss Jenkins wouldn't know I had been eating so late at night. Nobody was allowed to make so much as a sandwich in the kitchen without her permission and I had done just that whilst also being in trouble with Mrs Ealing and most likely not being her good books because of my shoulder.

Although it was late, and although I had promised Robert I would go to bed when I had finished eating, I wasn't as tired as I should have been. Sometimes we were worked well into the night back at the factory and knew how to continue our day with little to no sleep, this was no different. There were too many thoughts rushing through my mind and too many possible outcomes from the situations I found myself in. Sleep just seemed like a distant memory and there was no hope I could fall asleep, even if I wanted to. Sleep could wait, I wanted to do something to prove to Miss Jenkins that I had earned my place in the household. As of that moment, I didn't feel like I had.

I tucked the chair back under the table and grabbed the lantern before climbing the stairs to the hallway and walking down towards the drawing-room. I held the lantern up to the clock that sat on the mantlepiece; it was approaching half-past four and I knew someone was going to be awake soon. Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I returned to the kitchen and placed the lantern on the table, pressing my hands into the chair as I glanced around the room. I had never so much as cooked an egg before, but I had seen Miss Jenkins do it plenty of times, and it didn't look that difficult.

Grabbing the lantern, I crossed to the stove and pulled a large pot out from the cupboard beside it. I filled the pot with water and the placed it onto the stove before taking a match and lighting it, watching the water as though I was expecting an instantaneous result. With the lantern in hand, I moved into the pantry and grabbed two eggs as well as the loaf of bread I had been using earlier. I placed them both on the side and went back to staring at the water as it started to bubble and boil up. I could be a real impatient person sometimes and watching water boil was one of those times; it just took too long.

When the water started to boil, I placed the two eggs into the water and turned my attention to the bread. Using the same technique as before – almost laying on it – I sliced off two pieces and then placed them onto a pan which I had started to heat whilst waiting for the water to boil. After a few minutes, I turned the bread over and toasted the otherwise, all whilst watching the eggs and counting the time in my head so they wouldn't cook. Although Miss Jenkins hadn't gotten around to teaching me how to bake, I had watched her cook breakfast countless times and she always counted how long the egg had been in the water for, though I wasn't sure why that was important.

After toasting both sides of the bread, I took it off the heat and sliced it into strips, grabbing a plate from the cupboard and lying the bread into it. I also grabbed two egg cups and a large spoon which I used to fish the eggs out of the water and place into the egg cups, putting them on the bench beside the toast. Taking the pot off the stove, I replaced it with the kettle and grabbed a small piece of paper and pencil from the countertop. In untidy writing I scrawled:

Breakfast for Miss Jenkins

I folded the sheet of paper in half and balanced it next to the food so it was facing the door, the first thing Miss Jenkins would see when she woke up.

"There," I muttered.

Leaving the kettle to boil, I silently slipped out of the kitchen and returned to our room just as Miss Jenkins footsteps entered the hallway. Esther was still fast asleep, one arm draped across her face as I entered. I took a seat on the edge of the bed, my eyes starting to feel heavy as I listened to the sounds of Miss Jenkins below us. After a few seconds, I laid myself down on the bed and eventually, sleep got the better of me.

~~~

A/N - Chapter Fifteen is here! I've just finished Chapter Twenty-One so I'm relatively far ahead. I also figured out that if I keep up with the weekly updates we should be finished with TSG by the start of February. I'm in the process of figuring out the title and plot for the third book so keep an eye out for it!

There is a lot of drama planned for the next few chapters so make sure you're here for them!

Moving on, what did you guys think of the chapter? Do you think Rosie will ever deal with Isabel's death? What about Rosie not being able to sleep? Could it lead to another infraction?

Comment below!

Dedication - This chapter is dedicated to HelynaL who has an amazing book called 'Skylark in the Fog' that you should all check out! Seriously, it's amazing!

First Published - September 3rd, 2019