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37: Being in Control




A bubbly feeling went through Dante when he heard his arch nemesis laugh because his own personality had shone through Kendra's bothersome influence.

Dante had come to realize that being groggy, annoyed and broody was much easier than caring for other people and their thoughts and feelings.

He also knew that he didn't feel that way automatically toward anyone—he just suspected that he felt more strongly for someone like Catherine because her gift made emotions more intense for everyone that was close to her. Plus, something about her made Dante feel something he hadn't felt in a very, very long time. And it had nothing to do with Kendra or her influence.

Stretching his aching arms, for the past few weeks had been extremely strenuous, especially Ryker's fall, Dante added a tired yawn. "You seem exhausted," Catherine observed and a sense of compassion overcame Dante that felt strangely foreign and familiar at the same time.

Why could he feel her influence so clearly all of a sudden?

Confused, he decided to address it directly. There was an ease between them that he wasn't used to. He'd only ever had that with Ryker, his twin. And that only because of obvious reasons. "Why can I feel your compassion? It's weird," Dante said flatly and circled his shoulders, trying to release some of the pressure in his clammy muscles.

That didn't help, however, so he tried circling his entire arms and probably looked like an idiot while doing so. Catherine did nothing to show what she thought of it.

Dante wasn't sure what to make of her quite yet. The fact he didn't hate her so much anymore was also something that only added to his general confusion.

"I think I might have just let you in," she answered, sounding like she was wondering the same thing he was.

He would have liked to have an answer that actually made things clearer. Hers only bewildered him. "What, you mean like, my soul—" Dante couldn't mask the panic in his voice and was relieved when Catherine tore her eyes open and shook her head quickly.

"No, no of course not! That's not even possible."

Taking a deep breath, Dante bent his arm behind his head, touching his left shoulder-blade with his right fingertips.

"Then what do you mean?"

Catherine shrugged. "I don't really understand it myself. Only my brothers and Kendra know when I influence them. I think it happens when I feel comfortable enough. Kendra's soul that's now connected to yours must be able to feel my gift."

Taking a short moment to process her answer, Dante figured what she said made sense. She had an interesting gift, that he had to admit, even if he didn't like it much.

"Having so many emotions to deal with must be a pain," Dante commented groggily, annoyed at how no movement, stretching or pulling seemed to help the strained pain that buzzed through his entire body.

He was in dire need of a hot, hot bath.

Catherine sighed deeply and with it came a wave of weight that Dante couldn't quite fathom. "It can be," she said simply.

Dante enjoyed that Catherine wasn't a chatterbox.

Weirded out at himself for liking something about someone he'd once would have been able to murder, he reeled back at that thought. He nearly said that she ought to watch out who to use it on, but he didn't want to ruin the serenity that hovered between them.

Instead, he said, "You're doing a good job at controlling it though."

That earned him a pointed look and an irritating itch inside of his mind. Why was he being so damn nice?

Dante nearly scratched his head, slowly starting to worry about his own mental health. What was wrong with him? He was being civil. To Catherine. The She-Devil! Why?!

"You think?" Her voice shrunk when she added, "I suck at it so much everyone hates me."

Something about that small voice and what she said pinched Dante's heart. He felt bad for her.

But before he let himself explore that feeling, he reminded himself of who he was. "This fucking shitty stupid bothersome promised influence crap!" he cursed out loud and tightened his lips once he realised he'd spoken aloud.

"I'm sorry. I'm kinda losing it over here," Dante confessed. "I'm feeling so much shit right now I've never felt before and it's fucking exhausting. How do I make this stop?!"

Catherine chuckled. "I've noticed that the best way to deal with emotions is to just let yourself feel them. I know you're talking about Kendra's influence. I'm guessing you're having a hard time with those warm, fuzzy, positive feelings you don't usually have?"

She was spot on and only soured his mood by being right.

He didn't even reply, and instead tried to concentrate on him being annoyed.

Catherine touched his bicep and he stopped dead in his tracks, not having expected body contact. It had only been a fleeting touch, her fingers wrapping around his bicep to make him stop walking—but a flash of light shimmered before his eyes and disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. Then the pit of his stomach felt like it was being turned over and he nearly vomited.

A strange picture swam before his mind then. Two hands with outstretched, slightly curved fingers. He wondered what they meant.

And as if a switch had been turned on, all of his confusion was sucked away and replaced by a thick wave of crushing sadness. His heart felt as if it was being ripped apart and stomped on, the shards of it slashing through his skin, leaving it bloody and raw. He felt trampled on, ruined and shattered.

He tasted a salty fluid in his mouth and his eyes felt swollen. Was he crying?

Dante heard Catherine say something though couldn't make out what it was. His eyes were watery and tears blocked his sight, making everything around him blurry and out of focus. An incredible force pushed him so far down that he wondered how he could be alive. He felt like he was dying without having any physical pain.

So much sadness.

It gripped the broken pieces of his heart and froze them, making his entire body feel so incredibly cold. It chilled him to the bone, leaving him shaking. More tears streamed down his cheeks.

He broke down the same time Catherine fell to the ground with something red running down her nose. 

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