Annie's POV

I sat on the windowsill at the hospital, watching the rain fall; typical day when you get chemo.

I watched the rain drip down the window and patter onto the ground. It sounded like a bunch of little tap dancers dancing on the sidewalk below.

"Hey, Annie, how are you feeling?" Mom asked a few minutes later.

"Kinda nauseous." I admitted.

Mom came over and handed me one of those green ugly hospital barf bags. I thanked her and just left it in my lap as I continued watching the rain fall.

I've always had this weird special connection with rain; I enjoy watching it inside and outside. Sometimes when I'm bored, I sit outside in the backyard, close my eyes, and feel the rain fall onto my face.

Hayley makes fun of me for sitting out in the rain; she says it's weird and kinda dumb.

But the rain always feels so comforting to me; it's helped me through tough times.

For example, when I heard Caleb died in the hospital, I sat facing the window in the room as they unplugged the machines from him and had the doctor talk to my parents. I still remember hugging Hayley as I watched the rain drip down the window; I could also here the tap dancers on the sidewalk below.

Also the day my parents got officially divorced; I watched the rain drip down the window and here the tap dancers outside as I sat on my windowsill.

My thoughts were interrupted from my phone buzzing in my pocket. I took it out and saw a text from Hayley.

H: Dad Skylar and I are heading over right now!

H: and did I forget to mention we're bringing a special guest...? ;)

I smiled at Hayley's texts; I knew exactly who she was talking about.

"Mom," I said, grasping her attention. "Hayley, Dad, and Skylar are coming with a 'special guest'."

Mom smiled. "A 'special guest'?"

I smiled and nodded. "Yep."

About a half hour later, I heard a knock on my door.

I turned around to see my 'special guest' walk in with a huge grin on his face; Brennan.

I felt myself grinning as he came over and wrapped his arms around me. Even though it was cold and rainy outside, he felt warm and comforting.

"Hi Annie!" Skylar came over and hugged me as well. After Dad and I apologized to each other last month, I also apologized to Skylar, and we've gotten much closer lately.

"Hey Annie!" Dad and Hayley said as they hugged me as well.

After I hugged and greeted everyone, Mom said she was heading to work. After my parents got a divorce, Mom decided it was best if she got a job; she works at a bank near our house.

A few minutes later, one of my nurses, Jane, came in.

"Hello, Annie and family." She greeted with her signature friendly smile. "I'm just here to check on Annie and get her breakfast order."

Everyone greeted Jane as she came and checked my vitals and asked me how I was feeling from the chemo. She gave me a couple pills and a cup of water to help me not feel so nauseous.

Once Jane left the room, we all chatted with each other about how we've been and stuff like that.

When my breakfast arrived, Dad, Skylar, and Hayley headed downstairs to the cafeteria to give me and Brennan some privacy.

"You sure you're not hungry?" I asked Brennan as he sat on the edge of my bed. "I wouldn't have been offended if you went down with them."

He shook his head and held my cold, pale hand. "I wasn't going to leave you."

I smiled and then leaned in to kiss him; it felt so good to kiss him again.

A week after we came home from our Disney vacation, Brennan and his water polo team went traveling for a tournament or something and didn't come back until a couple nights ago, when I was first admitted into the hospital. All I know about his trip was that they went to North Carolina and did really good.

I pulled away and smiled at him before eating my breakfast. While eating, he told me about his trip with his water polo team and I told him how it was going back home, which was the usual same-old-same-old.

"Hey," Brennan said after a few peaceful moments of silence. "When do you get out?"

"I'm pretty sure tomorrow morning, why?" I asked.

He squeezed my hand lightly. "Because I want to do something fun together again. You know, to celebrate me being back home with you and you leaving the hospital."

"Okay. What did you have in mind?" I asked Brennan as he smiled.

"I was thinking maybe we could go to a baseball game." Brennan said.

I felt a tinge of sadness when he mentioned a baseball game; I haven't been to one in over a year.

The last one I went to was a month before Caleb died. As a 'back to school' celebration, he wanted to go to a baseball game with Hayley and I.

I still remember sitting in the third row in between Caleb and Hayley. When one of the balls came hurdling towards us, I shrieked and wrapped my arms around Caleb. He laughed as he stood up and caught the ball.

"Here," He said, handing me the ball.

"Are you nuts? Why would I want the ball that almost killed me?!" I exclaimed as he placed the ball in my palms.

"Because sometimes having a part of a scary moment can help us get over the fear of it." Caleb said with a smile. "And besides, I have plenty and you don't; think of it as a 'back to school' gift from your favorite brother."

I giggled. "You're my only brother."

"That's the point." He said as he gave me his signature smile that could light up a room, which I still remember clearly to this day; I hope that memory never goes away.

"Annie? You okay?" I came back to reality to see Brennan staring at me with concern.

I nodded. "Y-yeah. And I'd love to see a baseball game when I come out."

Brennan smiled. "Cool, cause there's a game next week. I'll buy the tickets tonight if that's okay."

I nodded again and gave him a fake smile. "That's fine."

About an hour later, Brennan's mom came to take him to water polo practice. I was actually let home early and got to go home that evening, which felt nice.

Dad drove Hayley and I home after dropping Skylar off at the movie theater she works at.

When we got to the front door, Dad hugged us goodbye and then headed back into the car to his house.

Later that night, I was kind of having trouble sleeping. I kept having weird dreams of Caleb coming back to life and then dying. I woke up after one crying and sweating.

After I woke up, I took a quick shower to freshen up and I headed to Hayley's room, and I found her wide awake (even though it was 2 AM).

"Couldn't sleep?" I asked her as I walked in.

She nodded. "It is the first of another month."

I sat down with her in her bed and hugged her. "We're gonna get through this."

"I know. I'm just glad I have you, Annie." Hayley said as she hugged me back.

I felt a couple tears fall down my face. It made me sad hearing Hayley say that, because I know having cancer is like getting a ticket to go on a death train. Having cancer can kill me at any moment; any day, hour, minute, or second I could die.

I didn't want Hayley to lose another sibling, it's hard enough losing one. I didn't want her to have to live through life without me, and I didn't want to live without her either.

But sometimes I just want to let go; sometimes it's too hard and I don't want to hold on.

Sometimes I think about pushing the red self destruct button; sometimes I think about what it would be like if I did die.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of rain. I glanced over to see the rain dripping down Hayley's window. She had her window slightly open, and a few raindrops were dripping onto her desk.

I could heard the rain pattering on the roof, and I could also hear the tap dancers dancing on our sidewalk, driveway, and porches.

"Annie?" Hayley said.

"Yes?" I replied, looking her in the eye; she also had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I-if you ever want to let go, if it ever gets too hard for you and you can't deal with the pain anymore, I just want you to know that I understand, and that I'll be okay. It's okay to let go." Hayley said through her tears.

I wiped away a couple of tears and pulled her in tighter.

"Hayley Noelle Leblanc, I'm not letting go. I won't let go because I don't want to lose you." I said.

"And I don't want to lose you." She replied.

"Then it's settled; I'm not letting go. I'm going to hold on and get through this bumpy ride."

Hayley looked up and smiled at me. "Good. I love you."

"I love you too, HayHay." I said as we continued hugging.

A few minutes later, Hayley had fallen asleep, still hugging me and I was still hugging her.

And this was another special connection I had with the rain; it created bad and good memories I would never forget, because those memories made me who I am today.

•••

A/N: tbh I am really proud of this chapter. Lately, I haven't been appreciating my work as much; I think it's been kinda crappy.

But this—I liked this. I feel like it helped you guys understand Annie's personality and backstory in this story better, and how one simple thing like the rain can connect to so many personal things.

I think this chapter was pretty deep in some points, and I love writing Hayley and Annie moments.

So did you like this chapter? What do you want to see more of from me in this story?

If you liked this chapter don't forget to vote, comment and share because I love your feedback!

Also I have a contest going on! Check it out xx 😘

Thanks, until next time ;)