It was mid night when we reached my grandparents house.

Every now and then I asked granny where my mummy was and she would just cry harder. I thought I was hurting her so I stopped asking. But I was very worried. I cried silently as I watched outside the window.

My brother and sister were sleeping. A few hours after our arrival many relatives came. All of them were giving me their pity looks.

All of this was making me get nervous and scared- than I already was.

After a few minutes an ambulance stopped in front of our house. I was now too tired by crying I don't remember when I fell asleep.

When I woke up granny took me outside. My sister and brother were already there with my aunt. They were screaming only one word "MUMMY".

My legs were shaking as I walked. I saw mummy wrapped in a white cloth. I was too scared to get any closer. She was just sleeping there not uttering a word. I spoke to her for a long time. Begged her to open her eyes and look at me. I started crying too.

Finally granny spoke "See your mummy for the last time" she said.

That's when I realised mummy was dead. Mummy would never talk again. Mummy would never hug me when I was scared. Mummy would never call my name.

That night I found out that my paternal grandpa had told my granny and aunt that mom committed suicide by hanging herself. But I told my grandparents and aunt everything about what happened that night. I told them that it was daddy who hit mummy. I told them about the blood on her dress. I told them about the footprints. I told them about the knife. I told everything.

Thats when I started to realise that when I heard mummy scream that night she tried to wake me up. She tried escaping that's what made the blood footprints on the stairs.

I should have given her the key when she had asked. I should have woken up when I heard her scream. I knew I made the biggest mistake of my life that costed me my mother's life.

Granny lodged a police complaint against dad, grandpa and grandma.

Now my mummy was dead and she would never come back. But every time my brother cried for her i always regretted my mistakes. I secretly cursed myself.

Even to this day I feel it should have been me and not her.
Even today I repent for my mistakes.
Even now I stay awake for a long time crying myself to sleep
But I make sure nobody gets to know I miss mummy.
I always act very brave in front of everyone.

But I always wish I could re do that night. I wish mummy was alive. I wish I could once tell her "I LOVE YOU MUMMY".

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