Cyan P.O.V.

I'm finnicking with some equations in the lab that lead nowhere. My mind has been wandering for some time now, probably because the sun has set a while ago. Typically, Draven would have arrived to nag about how I need proper sleep to function, especially me because I hardly function with enough sleep. I would whine about needing to work while I'm in my groove. He'd proceed to nag even more until I got so bothered that I'd lose that groove and leave.

However, Draven and I have, once more, decided to halt communications until further notice. Admittedly, that was mostly my decision after he seemed so adamant in not wanting me to travel to Vexsis. Doesn't he understand that Lore respects his decision? If he pushed to leave me behind, Lore would have listened. This is another chance to prove myself! Especially in Vexsis, somewhere I may be useful. Lore seems to know that if he actually wanted to bring me.

Why does Draven get in the way of that? One minute he's claiming he doesn't want to treat me like a child, the next that's exactly what he's doing! What a blundering blockhead.

Bang!

I jolt at the abrupt opening of the laboratory doors. Unfamiliar giggles echo from the dark entrance followed by Seren's voice, "Shh, shh. Doors be quiet."

...is this sniveling simpleton drunk?

I turn to gawk at Seren tumbling through the lab. He comes closer to the lights illuminating the front of the cathedral. They reveal his watery eyes and rumpled robes that have a few dirt stains that I imagine he got from tripping over his own fumbling feet. He smiles giddily when spotting me, outstretching his hands.

"Cyan!" He bellows, then burps. "You... uh, just the person I'm looking for!"

"I'd prefer if I wasn't," I say, puzzled by how his boisterous laughter ricochets off the walls to painfully intrude my ears.

"You're funny," he states, pointing accusingly at me, or at least trying to. He's swaying like ocean waves in a tsunami. And that bumbling buffoon almost stumbles his way into a batch and very harmful chemicals if not for my cat-like reflexes. I narrowly reach Seren in time, grasping his arm to drag him away from the dangerous shelving.

"I don't know why you drank nor do I care, but I do care about a drunk being in my lab. Be a dear and fuck off, alright?" I smile at the drunkard, who merely blinks at me.

"Cyan," he says, fiercely grasping my shoulders. I'm relieved it wasn't my hands where there's no clothes to protect me. Though my shoulders start to tingle, it's bearable, especially when Seren pleads, "Tell me why you left."

"Ex-fucking-cuse you, cretin?" I knock his hands away and point at the door. "I'm giving you five seconds to vacate the premises before I knock you out and toss you off a very high cliff without a parachute."

He could use magic to survive the fall, but I'd make sure to do it while he's still tipsy to make the odds of his death higher.

A drunk Seren is full of surprises. He drops to his knees, hands clinging to my shirt. They tremble so violently that I feel the vibrations through the fabric. He looks up at me, an unreadable glint in his eyes. Desperation laces his every word; "Please, please tell me why you left. Why did you need Lore's help to escape?"

This bastard reeks of booze. I smelt it the moment he stepped through the doors. He's an absolute mess, drunk out of his fucking mind, and I can't imagine why. Alcohol was never prohibited among the church, but getting this drunk was frowned upon. A lot of damage could be done by a drunk powerful mage.

"Answer me first, why are you wasted? What happened?" I ask, settling beside him, otherwise I'll have to rip my own shirt off to escape his vice grip. I have no intention to tell him the truth, but maybe he'll talk for a bit then pass out. With how much he drank, I'm surprised he managed to make it back at all.

"Earlier," he whispers, flopping onto his butt like a sad toddler. "Earlier, I started to think that I don't want, and maybe--maybe I don't believe, that the children will grow up to be bad. Watching them, playing beside them, it makes me want to believe there's good in everyone, including vampires and dhampir. But that--that, it goes against the Holy Mother's teachings and I..." Seren scratches erratically at his own neck.

I know the look, the feeling of wanting to claw out of your own skin from overwhelming thoughts. Looking back on what you went through, and in Seren's case, what he did, it's no wonder he damn near rips through his own skin. I knock his hand with mine, covered by the sleeves of my shirt, of course. It makes him stop itching, but he rocks instead.

"I'm wondering if the Holy Mother's teachings are wrong," he whispers so softly I strain to hear him. "Earlier, a desperate woman sat outside a church, a place of safety and hope, but that church turned her away. Why?"

I shrug when he looks at me for an answer.

"Because she was a dhampir and that, Cyan, that's not right. We shouldn't--" He presses his hands to his chest, eyes wide and erratic. "I shouldn't be okay with that. If someone needs help, regardless of who they are, you should help them. I believed that when I was a kid to the point that the priests always told me I was too kind. My kindness would get me killed. I looked for the good in others when it wasn't there and they made that sound bad." He looks at me again for an answer, asking quietly, "Do you think that's bad?"

"No," I answer without hesitation. "You saw their lies and real liars pick away at the truth until they make you believe that you're the one in the wrong."

Seren sinks his head like a scolded child. He picks at the ropes around his waist. The ropes fray erratically. How am I meant to ignore him when he's acting like a kicked puppy? Puppies are my weakness. They should be everyone's weakness. Never trust someone who doesn't love animals.

And, in all seriousness, this is the only time Seren has really shown that he may be breaking free of the church. Drunk words are sober thoughts, right? This is as truthful as he has ever been with me, not the guy from back when we initially spoke and he tried to lie that he never considered leaving the church.

"Listen, you giant dunce, I am only talking about this once so you better hope your drunk ass remembers this in the morning," I growl at him. He turns in place, like he thinks facing me might help him remember, then he eagerly nods.

I can't believe I'm telling Seren this when the only other person who knows is Lore. But if anyone should know the truth other than Lore, it's Seren. Because we've gone through the same experiences and, had I not escaped, Seren is who I may have become.

And maybe that's why he terrifies me.

"I imagine the church saved you when you were quite young," I say, noting how Seren nods. "A dhampir bought me off my parents, like I was property to be taken to... somewhere not good. I knew what he was going to make me do and..." I crack my neck to the side. "My magic awakened in time. I narrowly escaped so, yeah, vampires fucking terrified me after that. A Surveyor of the church found me and took me to Trinia. I loved it there," I admit, remembering the beginning days where I spent time frivolously with other children.

Although I had been around other children all my life, we spent more time struggling to survive in the streets than playing. We learned to lie and deceive. Playing was another luxury we couldn't afford. But it wasn't like that at the church. I went to bed full and woke up to a warm breakfast. No one looked at me with greedy eyes. No one touched me with foul intentions. I was safe.

"Taking you to the orphanage, that's how the church gets you," I explain, feeling my teeth start to grind. "You lose your family or never had one, then they show you what a family is. They give you friends who understand everything you went through. A beautiful home filled with toys, food, warmth, and care. You cling to that, desperately wishing for no one to tear it away from you again because you know what it's like to lose it. To starve and beg and barely survive."

"Do you remember all the stories they told us about vampires? The Dark Lord Elminore controlling their bloodlust, making them destroy families--making us remember how we lost ours. And that fear, the fear they put in here--" I press my finger against his chest, over his heart. "It drives us to protect the new family we were given. Our siblings sitting beside us and the church who has taken care of us; we begin to believe we owe them everything."

"You went through training?" Seren asks and, dare I say it, he sounds like he's hopeful I'll say no.

"Some of it, yeah. I wanted to fight for the Holy Church, to thank them for what they did and what they had given me, as well as protect others."

"But?" He urges.

"But there was a girl at the orphanage, someone strong and confident, who never broke no matter how much the church tried. Her name was Halliya. I'd like to think she was my inspiration," I laugh at the memories that I regret have faded. I don't know if I truly remember her face or if it's just a figment of my imagination.

"She must have been a troublemaker," Seren says, making me smirk.

"The biggest troublemaker of them all. She makes me look tame."

Seren makes an impressed O with his mouth.

"Halliya was brave and outspoken, openly condemning the church for their training methods. Although she lost her family during a dhampir attack, she stood by what she believed; that vampires and dhampir were not a scourge upon the earth. What happened was unfortunate, but she wouldn't hate an entire race for it. She tried convincing others of that, always back talking to the teachers and refusing to participate in church activities. As the days went by, I started to believe her, but..."

Seren rests a gentle hand on my shoulder. It's then I realize that I'm shaking. I roll my shoulders to knock his hand aside.

"Suddenly, she went missing. The church claimed she decided it was best for her to leave, but I knew Halliya. She had become a dear friend. She wouldn't have left without a word. Then I started noticing how other kids went missing. Those who were like her, against the church. They always gave the same excuse, but it didn't feel right." I clench my hands until they ache. I look Seren in the eye, who I know isn't ready to hear this, but I won't sugarcoat the truth. "The children who went missing, the ones I knew and the ones you undoubtedly knew too, the church got rid of them before they caused too much ruckus."

Seren shakes his head adamantly, eyes wide once more. He wrings his hands together, threatening to rub the skin off his knuckles. "They wouldn't do that," he declares.

As expected, he went straight to denial. I did too.

"Why not?" I counter. "None of the missing kids had a family to check on them. None had anywhere to go. There was no one to miss them--"

"They wouldn't do that!" Seren screams so loudly his voice breaks.

I'd be upset if I didn't notice the horrifying realization in his eyes. He's already making a list of kids that "failed tests" or "decided to leave," and realizing they are long gone.

"They wouldn't do that," he repeats over and over, tears building his eyes. When he begins rocking in place, I grab his arm. He stumbles to his feet. The only reason he can stand is because I'm his crutch.

"It's only a hunch," I say in hopes to calm him prior to him dropping to crack his head against the stone floor. Everyone would probably assume I did it on purpose. "But you need to realize, Seren, that the church is an organization. Not everyone is likely involved, but some are and they're hiding something because they can. That's what power does."

Seren's heavy breathing signifies that he can't handle any more. I grapple with his arm to guide him out of the laboratory, watching his pained expression grow worse until he falls into a fit of tears.

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

Finally, Seren has gotten a real talk with Cyan, even if he had to be drunk to do it. What do you think after hearing Cyan's story? How will Seren handle this revelation? Will he even remember it in the morning lol