- Thursday, July 7th, 2016 -

– One month later –

Everything is completely different than it had been a couple of months ago and I hate nearly everything about it. The only thing I don't mind that changed, is the fact I gained a couple of really good and trustworthy friends.

I never figured some of my close friends had been shitty friends all along. Not that I considered each and every friend as one I could tell my secrets too.

I became close friends with Nathan, Stan, Liam, Julia and Felix in the process, all for different reasons and under different circumstances, but true friends nonetheless. Jaimie visited me in hospital one day and it turned out to be a good conversation with a lot of laughter and it felt like it always did when we hung out. We're not the best of friends, but he has been very supportive and I think we'll remain friends for a long time now.

But while gaining friends, I did lose my close friendship with Emma, who turned out to be completely psycho.

There have been eleven people arrested, with a search for Jeff and Ahmed still going on. Emma and Mike were two of them. Ronny and Stan both got arrested at first to, before I woke up after getting injured. They had been released as soon as Finnley, Jason and Liam all told the police they in fact tried to help them in any way possible.

As it turns out, Emma payed Jeff to focus on Finnley and abducting him because she wanted to get back at him for using her. She never knew about his whereabouts or under what circumstances he was forced to live, but she willingly pretended not to know what happened for months, endangering his, mine and Nathans life in the process.

I wake up from my thoughts because of my phone ringing.

Nathan yawns lazily, watching annoyed because the phone woke him up from his nap, making me grin, putting away the book he made me read. Don't think I'm turning into a book nerd, but he told me it's Finnley's favourite book and off course that drew my attention.

"Hey pretty boy." I answer the phone after noticing it's Finnley who is calling.

He grumbles as a reaction because I'm still calling him pretty boy. I'm not the only one who calls him that by the way. I believe everybody, including Nathan, Jaimie and Felix started calling him that way. "You know? I rather have you calling meFinnleythan that." He sounds sad, like he does a lot these days.

"Okay, Finnlay."

"I'm gonna hit you."

"Good luck with that." I laugh out a little. "What's up? Why'd you call?"

"I'm gonna kill my mom I think. No, wait, both of my parents." I hear him slamming a door shut. "Can we please meet? I really need to vent."

"I'm at Nathan's..."

"He's welcome whenever he wants," Nathan mumbles, his eyes still closed, turning around on his bed again.

"You're welcome to come over."

"I'll be there in ten."

"See you in ten."

"He's coming here?" Nathan pushes himself up, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"He said he was about to kill his folks, again."

"I hate his parents, really. I don't hate a lot of people, but damn. I really can't stand the way they treat Finn right now."

They act pretty much controlling and forbid him to pretty much do anything. They keep dragging his ass to church, they talked about sending him to a camp to try and cure him from his "disease" and they keep belittling him for everything, including about the fact he's retaking the last year of highschool along with me. In his case even less of a surprise, but nonetheless a reason for his parents to belittle him.

At first, they forbid him to see Stan, Nathan or me, since we're all openly gay or bisexual and they didn't want us to taint his mind with the wrong ideas. But luckily, it's one of the few things Finnley refuses to listen to, still meeting up with us every so often.

I know I changed over the past couple of months. I'm not as outgoing anymore, I don't trust a lot of people anymore and I have trouble being alone right now, especially at home and definitely during the nights. It's why my dad started to work from home, keeping me company during daytime. I got medication to sleep better and every now and then I sleep at Nathan's or Stan's place.

Because Stan has been able to forgive me, saying he'd rather have me close as a friend, than not at all. I'm just happy he saw past all that happened and agreed on staying friends because I honestly don't know what I would do without him in my life.

But even though I did change a lot, Finnley is completely different. Before he was abducted, he always did whatever he wants, had intelligent arguments in every discussion, ignored his parents whenever they disagreed on a topic. Now he's pretty much submissive, introvert and doubtful about everything he believes in.

"You gonna open the door, or you gonna keep dreaming?" Nathan chuckles, throwing a pillow in my face. "The bell rang."

"Right, sorry."

"Sleepyhead."

"Says the guy who's been napping all day today."

"I'm getting old, kiddo, I deserve a nap."

"Don't call me kiddo."

"Keep begging for us to stop, and we'll call you kiddo even more often."

"Ugh, I hate Liam for telling you guys..."

"I thank him for his ability to mess with you head like that."

I flip him off, before I head downstairs, answering the door, letting Finnley in the house. Don't get me wrong, but he's wearing the green sweater that used to belong to Nathan, then me, and now him. It makes the butterflies flutter around like crazy as soon as I lay my eyes on him. "Hey pretty boy."

"Don't," he snaps angrily. "Not in the mood, really." He rolls his eyes, letting himself in further, walking up to Nathan's room after grabbing a can of Cola from the fridge.

"No Jason today?"

"He's at his weekly appointment and afterwards he was going to visit Alex."

"Didn't you want to visit Alex too?"

"Ugh." Finnley turns around halfway up the stairs. "No, Finnley. You're not going to visit Alex. We forbid you."He says in a mockingly high voice. "Because they just like to see me miserable or something." He shrugs, heading further up the stairs, barging in Nathan's room, flopping down on the bed, burying his head in Nathan's pillow.

"Bad day?"

"Worst ever." He cries out. "I hate her so fucking much. I can't take it anymore." He sits up on his knees, looking a bit desperate.

"What did she do, besides refusing to allow you to visit Alex?" I sit down on the desk chair, observing him. He lost a lot of weight during the months he was missing and he hasn't really gained any weight in the last month. He still looks tired and he's still wearing a cast on his wrist.

"I don't even want to repeat what she said." He sighs, slumping down against the headboard of the bed, cuddling a pillow to his chest.

"Just tell us." Nathan sits down next to him, waiting patiently for Finnley to spill out whatever hatred his mother spewed around this time.

"She found out that I slept with strangers for money." Finnley mumbles. "I don't even know how, because I certainly didn't tell her anything about it."

"And what did she say about it?"

Finnley groans and I notice tears rolling down his face already. He's been crying a lot lately and not even because of what happened, but because of his situation at home right now. "Said she didn't understand why I did it, why I didn't refuse."

"Did you tell her you were forced? That they threatened to hurt Cris? Kill you if needed?" Nathan is holding back anger, I notice because of the way he's gripping his other pillow with bawled fists.

"She said I still should have refused, rather die honour full instead of living sinful. She didn't care about Cris maybe getting hurt and then she went on and asked if Jason did the same. Now they want to kick Jason out because he's supposedly a bad influence..."

"She told you that? Really? She rather wanted you to die?"

He shrugs, wiping away the tears aggressively. "Yeah, that's exactly what she said. She hates the fact I'm gay and that I don't seem to have a problem with being gay at all. So I guess she rather wanted me to be dead, So she would still be able to believe I hated being gay... You know, so she could think of me as the perfect son, which I'm obviously not."

"Your mom is crazy." Nathan grumbles. "Don't listen to her, Finn."

"It's so hard." He cries out. "And I can't let them throw Jason out. I just can't. He's my support system and I'm his and I don't know what to do when they kick him out."

"Can't you try to talk to you father?" I know his father is a little more accepting of everything, just submissively agreeing to whatever his wife is telling.

"Tried, didn't work. I called my aunt, though." He mumbles. "That's the thing I actually wanted to talk about. This fight was three days ago and I've been trying to fix things at home, but my mom won't talk to me and dad is just sending me sad, sorry looks without doing anything. They said Jason needs to be out by the weekend."

"Let him stay with us for a while. I'm sure my mom and dad won't mind for the time being. We can figure something out in the meantime..." I start of, but Finnley shakes his head with a pain filled expression on his face."

"I talked to my aunt, told her about everything that has been going on at home. She's going to take us in, at least until I finish highschool and find a way to live on my own."

"Wait, you're moving to your aunt?" I call out. "When?"

"Eh..." He clears his throat. "She's picking us up tonight. That's why I wanted to talk now. I'm leaving tonight."

"What, you're moving, tonight?"

He breaks down crying, Nathan pulling him in a hug while his eyes tear up too, just like mine do.

"I just wanted to say goodbye."

- Tuesday, July 12th, 2016 -

I'm going to miss Finnley so damn much, it hurts like hell.

I've never felt as shitty as I did when I watched Finnley getting in the car with his uncle and aunt after some of his stuff was put in the trunk. His mom trying to stop him from going, crying, begging for him to stay and work things out.

Screaming profanities at her own brother for taking away her child.

Finnley's dad was there, watching from the front door with an empty look in his eyes.

Charlie was the only one who hugged Finnley goodbye, telling him he understood and that he supported him no matter what.

I couldn't say goodbye, because I don't want it to be goodbye. But he's moving an hour away and without a license it's going to be hard to meet up and actually see him.

It had been a rather emotional goodbye, Nathan, Liam and even Stan trying to hold back tears, because they all felt what I did. Finnley finally got home, saved from that terrible world, just to end up in a different awful situation. Just to leave again, leaving me, us, behind.

We stared at each other for minutes, until his uncle told him they needed to go because his cousin's babysitter was nearly done working and they had to be back home in time.

I didn't even kiss him goodbye. I hugged him, yes, but he pulled away after three seconds, causing me to start crying because even in a situation like this, he wouldn't' make an exception to his rule, not even for me.

Then they left, leaving behind a hollow place inside of me, nearly paralyzing me in that spot, watching him leaving me again.

I know we will keep in touch, I know we will see each other every so often. But he won't be there nearly every day. He won't ride to school with me on the bus. He won't join me for lunch in school. He won't try to get me to study or ask his stupid questions during one of our games.

He won't enchant me with his curious look, his endless stories.

I should have dragged him by his sexy hair and locked him in my room; for he was never supposed to let our friendship become a distant one.

But I'm not that oblivious. I know friendships are hard to maintain when you're not capable of meeting whenever you want. They're hard to maintain with an hour-long car ride between you. Or an ever longer travel by public transportation.

He will get new friends, I have my close friends.

Let's just hope we won't lose contact over time.

I wake up from my stupor, my phone ringing in my pocket while I watch Jaimie run across the soccer field during one of the last practices of the year. Felix on the bench beside me, his foot still in a cast after surgery. He will be free from his cast on Thursday and he can't wait. He keeps telling me he's going to party that very same night, celebrating the fact his ankle healed perfectly fine and he will be able to go to college on a scholarship for soccer.

I smile wearily, answering the phone with a deep sigh. "You were supposed to call before dinner, Finnley."

"My cousin kept screaming whenever I ignored her during her tea party, so I kind of had my hands full with that one." He chuckles. "How are you?"

"Good, watching soccer practice."

"Aah, say hi to the guys for me."

"I will, once they're done." I grin like a fool because of our casual conversations. At least he kept his word and calls me nearly every day. "How are you? Used to your new home?"

"Ugh, my room is so damn empty. I should have taken some books with me."

"You and your books. Ask Charlie to send them to you."

"He hasn't been at theirplace since I left either." Finnley sighs deeply. "Now they're blaming me for breaking apart the family, you know..."

"You still have contact with them?"

"No, but she keeps sending texts and e-mails. Telling me it isn't too late to be saved. I blocked her, but then she started using my dad's phone, his e-mail."

"Why can't she just accept you?"

"Because she honestly believes I will go to hell."

"Stupid."

"Yeah, well. Dad has seen the light, you know? They're divorcing. Which, by the way, is also...

"Your fault?"

"Yuha. Yours too, all the gays, all the bisexual people, the pansexual... you know, the sinners. Each and every one of them, for they made me believe it's okay to be gay."

"She's the sick one here, really. But I got an epiphany."

"Oh, big words, kiddo."

"Learned from the best, pretty boy."

We both snort in unison. "What's your epiphany?"

"Of your parents are divorcing, will you move in with your dad? You know, around here?"

"He's moving close here, to be honest. Already got himself a rental apartment. But I wasn't planning on moving in with him, since I haven't fully forgiven him for letting my mom go all crazy on me. It really did a number on me."

"Oh, okay... I understand that."

"Soo..." He drags out the word a bit.

"Don't hang up yet, even if you've got nothing to say..."

"You wanna just remain silent together?" He chuckles again. "What country would you like to visit most?"

"Finland."

"Finland? Why?"

"The name reminds me of you." I shrug, laughing out a little when Felix frowns at me before smirking.

"O damn, that is way too cheesy."

"You know you love me for my humour."

"It's the worst, honestly."

"Your biggest crush?"

"You." I already picture him smirking and I'm grinning like a fool.

"Be serious." I gently laugh, teasing him a bit.

"Can't handle a little gay-loving, kiddo?"

"Oh, I can, I definitely can." I take in a deep breath, feeling content, because before I didn't think he was serious. But now I know, all those months ago, he covered up his love confession to me by fooling around. But he did confess the fact he had a crush on me a long time ago.

"What's your favourite thing about me?"

"Everything, pretty boy. Everything."

"Same, kiddo."

- Fin -

A/N: A sneak peek for the second book is available in the next chapter. For all of you who wished for our babies to get together (and do things); the second book will all be about that (and some more) ^^