- Thursday, May 26th, 2016 -

– 4 months after the disappearance –

For this time of year, the weather is extremely cold and fits better with fall than it fits with spring, but I'm kind of used to it and dressed warm; wearing one of Finnley's sweaters over my soccer jersey. It's too cold to be out in a jersey if I'm not playing in the game. It's windy and it seems like it could start raining every second now. I'm propped in between Julia and Stan in the back of the bleachers, watching the game with little to no excitement. The game is halfway through its second half and it's still a tie with 0-0. It's a pretty exciting game with both teams having chances to score a goal, but none succeeded so far.

Felix started at the bench, but he was brought in after 20 minutes in which our team didn't do a lot more than defending the goal. Ever since he got in, the game is fair and they started really showing what they're capable of. Jaimie, as a captain, should coach his teammates, but it's Felix whose voice is constantly shouting over the field to help his teammates stay awake and do what they're supposed to do.

Currently, he is running with the ball along the left side of the field, Jaimie and Tom both shouting for him to pass the ball since they're in the middle and both should have a better chance of scoring. But both of them have fucked up a couple of these attacks already, so I can't blame Felix for running ahead on his own. He managed to trick a defender with a simple diversion, giving him a free line towards the goal. There's two defenders in pursuit, not nearly quick enough to catch up.

My eyes follow Felix, hoping he will score so that I at least can be happy for them because it would be Felix who managed to put them in the lead. But my mind is occupied with other things, like the conversation with Finnley over two hours ago and the fact someone was asking to rent him. I shudder at the thought, again feeling like screaming in anger. I don't want anyone touching Finnley. He should be right here with me, living the teenage life. He should be right here with me, so I would be able to show him I really love him.

I lost focus on the game and it's the crowd jumping up, shouting and screaming in anger that woke me up from my thoughts. I jump up and look down to the field. Felix is on the ground, holding his leg, obviously in pain. Jaimie, Evan and Marcus are all shouting towards the opponent, Jaimie even pushing one of them backwards in anger.

Now, I don't know what happened because I got distracted by my thoughts about Finnley, so, all I know is Felix is in pain, it must have been a dirty tackle since Jaimie is on the verge of punching a guy, the ball is in the back of the goal and the referee isn't succeeding in calming the boys down.

It seems like they're going to fight, and more and more of them get involved in the argument, the coach, trainer and even some teachers run up to the fighting group, pulling them away from each other.

"What happened?" I watch towards Julia, who is biting a nail. "I wasn't paying attention."

"Felix scored a goal, but he also got tackled by their captain from behind." Julia keeps staring towards the field. Both teams have been separated and some people are around Felix, who's still on the ground.

"You think he's okay?" Stan sounds a bit worried, even though he didn't jump up along with the rest to shout profanities towards the captain from the other team.

I shake my head, staring at Felix, who's still on the ground. "Felix never stays down when it's nothing. He isn't like that, pretending... He is in real pain if he's not getting up."

And soon, like I figured, Felix is carried off the field and towards the locker rooms, while the game continues on a much more aggressive level.

"I'm going to see if Felix is okay." I mutter, getting up. "I'm only here for him and he isn't playing anymore..."

"Want me to go with you?"

"No, just watch the game and tell me what happened afterwards." I smile and kiss Stan on his lips, before I make my way down from the top of the bleachers and towards the locker rooms.

* * * * *

"Felix?" Mr. Roberts walks into the locker room, followed by Felix' parents. "Your parents are here to take you to hospital."

I watch Felix, who is laying down on a bench with his leg put on a bag and a couple of towels to support it.

"Want me to come with you?" I ask him, while he's sitting up without moving his leg too much. His face contorts with pain every movement he makes. They assume he broke his ankle and his parents have been called to take him to hospital to get some X-rays taken.

"Nah, I'm fine." He mutters. "I just wish I would be able to celebrate along with the rest of the team."

They won the game with 1-0 because of the goal Felix scored. The chanting, the shouting, the exciting screams when the referee blew his whistle could be heard inside the locker room. I can't believe they won the championship. I can't believe out of everyone, Felix will be in hospital during the first part of the celebration. I already know Jaimie is throwing a party at his house later this evening, but I really don't feel like going, especially since Felix might not be there, depending on the outcome of the medical examination.

"I'm sure they're going to save some alcohol for you, for when you get back." I smirk, helping him up and supporting him when he is finally standing up. His father helping by putting his other arm around his shoulder.

"Let's get you checked up." His dad smiles wearily. "Always you who gets hurt during soccer."

"Yeah, yeah." Felix sounds dismissively. "Right now, I just want some painkillers and a couple of crutches so I can get to the party."

The second we get outside in the parking lot, Felix' dad and me helping him to limp to the car that is parked right in front of the door, I already hear the celebrations, carried by loud music, coming from the soccer field. It started raining by now, but it doesn't seem like anyone cares about getting wet right now.

"Thank you for helping Felix." His dad smiles. "We'll let you know what the doctor says."

"That would be great." I nod. "Get well soon, Felix. Call me if you need anything."

"I will, thanks." He smiles, climbing in the back seat of the car, while his mother supports his leg with the same towels we used in the locker room. "See you soon!" He waves and I shake hands with his father, before both of his parents get in the car and the take off to hospital.

Mr. Roberts puts a hand on my shoulder, squeezing softly and smiling sadly. "Coming to party?"

"Yeah... no." I shake my head. "I'm gonna see if I can find my friends and tell them I want to go home."

"You know this is partially your celebration too, right?"

"Doesn't feel like it." I smile. "But thanks for noting the fact I helped them to get here in the first place."

"Without you, Felix, or Jaimie, the team would still be a mess." He pads my shoulder, before he leaves me behind. I decide on walking through the schools building and back to the locker rooms so that I can stay dry a little longer. I leave the schools building through the back entrance and walk up behind the bleachers to search for Julia and Stan. I send out a text to Stan, telling him Felix got picked up and I want to go home, when a hand snatches the phone from my hand, another grabbing me by the collar.

"Who'd figure I'd find you here?" Mike smiles devilish, pushing me against the brick wall of the building, looking at my phone. "Another step out of line, right?"

"What?" I whisper, pretending to be confused. "Let go of me, idiot. I didn't do anything."

"Not you, no. But that's the funny thing, right?" He chuckles, although it's not a chuckle in amusement if you ask me. "You don't have to do anything to give me a reason to hurt you."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I grumble, trying to pry his hands off my sweater. "Let me go!"

"Don't pretend you don't know what this is about." He snaps. "I knew Stan couldn't be trusted. But no one would listen to me." He hisses, slamming my phone against the concrete flooring. I watch it shatter to pieces, thankful for not throwing out the note with Finnley's number on it. But that is what got me in this position, right? He must know I talked to Finnley.

"What are you talking about?" I cry out, sticking with my decision to act oblivious. And suddenly I understand why Finnley didn't give me any answers sooner, that night when we met in the playground. He needed me to be oblivious so I wouldn't have to pretend whenever I got in trouble. It was his way of trying to protect me. That way, I couldn't say something wrong, mess up this whole thing, endangering the both of us.

"You really are stupid, aren't you?" Mike grumbles in my face, grabbing my throat and chocking me slightly.

I barely get any air sucked in my lungs. I grab hold of his wrist, trying to pry it off, to no avail.

"I'm gonna make sure you forget all of this, so that we can go back to the way things are, you, leaving us alone." He holds up his fist, releasing my throat in the process. I grasp for air thankfully, watching his fist with wide eyes, ready to punch me and I know; one fist hitting my face, one blow to the head, is dangerous.

My head is still healing and any trauma could make things a thousand times worse. I remember the doctor telling me during check-up, to prevent forced trauma to the head because it might give me permanent brain damage if I get another concussion, or worse.

But before his fist made contact with my face, someone attacked him, causing his fist to miss my face, scratching my cheek and hitting the wall beside me painfully hard. I can hear some cracking sounds right beside my ear and I cringe, closing my eyes for a second, duking and shielding my head with my arms.

"Don't you dare to touch him." Much to my surprise, the angry voice snapping at Mike, is Jaimie's voice, full of anger.

I peak from under my arms, watching Jaimie hit Mike over and over again, until Stan shows up, pulling Jaimie away from Mike, holding him back.

"Stop it, Jaimie." Stan hisses, although I want him to let go of Jaimie. I want Jaimie to beat Mike to pulp, preventing him from ever hurting me again.

But when I look at Mike, Jaimie might have already done enough damage for him to at least leave me alone for a while.

Mike's face is smashed, a bruise already forming on both sides of his face, one from Jaimie's fist, the other from repeatedly hitting the concrete. Blood is seeping out of the corner of his mouth, running out of his nose. His eyes are closed and he's softly crying, cradling his right hand with his left.

"Jaimie!" Stan snaps. "Calm down, before anyone hears us."

"What?" Jaimie is still fighting to get him to let go. "Now you're going to keep me from saving your boyfriend!? He was going to hit Cris!"

"And you can say goodbye to any offers for scholarships and you'll be expelled if anyone sees you fighting again." Stan turns Jaimie around and away from Mike. "Go clean yourself up and go back to the field. I'll take care of Cris."

I lock eyes with Jaimie, who's still fuming in anger, feeling at least a little thankful for him to save me from another beating. But why was he here anyway?

"What are you doing here?" I voice my question, watching Jaimie wipe some sweat off his face.

"Wow, thanks Jaimie, for saving me from another head injury." He says in a mocking voice. "You're so welcome Cris." He stares daggers at Mike, who is still crying like a baby.

"What, you think the fact you saved me from more damage, that you caused in the first place, is going to make me forgive you?"

"No." He rolls he his eyes, kicking something invisible on the ground. "I was looking for you, because you should be part of the celebration," he grumbles. "I figured you were with Felix, so I came to look for you."

"Just spit it out already." Stan groans, keeping an eye on Mike, although I don't think Mike will get up soon. I notice just now he's bleeding from the back of his head, and some fingers on his right hand seem to be misplaced.

Karma is a bitch.

"I'm sorry, Cris." Jaimie snaps. "I'm sorry for everything and I know I can't make it up to you, okay? I ruined everything for you." He waves his hands around in a dramatic way. "I heard you won't graduate with us. You couldn't join the match..." He sighs deeply. "I'm really sorry, but I was afraid to step up to you because I don't want you to hate me."

"Well, I did hate you," I answer with a cold voice. "I still do a bit and saving me isn't suddenly changing everything."

"I know." He lolls his head backwards in frustration. "I'm an idiot, okay? I should've had your back, I didn't. I should've never hit you in the first place, or Stan for that matter." Jaimie looks at Stan from the corner of his eyes. "I just... please." By now, he sounds begging. "Please come celebrate with us. You don't have to say anything to me, you don't have to acknowledge my presence. But we really want you there, okay?"

"I'm not going, Jaimie." I take in a deep breath, watching down to the ground. "Not because I don't want to be part of it, but because I'm really fucking tired and my head hurts and I just want to go to bed and sleep this day off." I look up towards Stan, sending him a look he instantly understands.

"Let's go, Cris." Stan puts an arm around my shoulder.

"We're just going to leave him here?" Jaimie follows us towards the door leading to the school. "Just like that?"

"It's best to just let someone else find him." Stan grins. "He deserves to suffer for a while, believe me."