✨✨JEREMY WHITE✨✨

The recliner was nice, I loved how it curbed my anxiety to a degree. Today seemed like one of those days where I needed to talk to someone about something, anything. So here I was, waiting on the older lady to be done with her scribbling.

She knew I was only here by grace. I didn't believe in therapy. They were invented to dull your pain, make you feel less guilty about your pathetic self that you begin to build an illusion to soothe your conflicted mind. And at a point, if you're willing, you may get to stay longer there—but when it all ends, you become worse than before and they just make some cash off of you.

"You look healthier than before Jeremy, May I call you that?" Mrs. Newman asked. The wrinkles on her face were becoming apparent, I guess she needed therapy too.

"And you don't," I retorted without emotion. I gauged her face for any sign of weakness. If she could preach therapy and anger management skills then she'd better be a guru at it.

She seemed to perceive my intentions, she replaced it with a smile. "I'm not getting any younger dear, but we're here because of the love of it. I'm surprised to see you here Jeremy, it's almost a miracle." she said, point made on the casual use of my first name, I didn't mind.

"I'm as surprised myself, you can call me Jeremy."

Her shoulders relaxed and she looked into the file before her. "How have you been? Is there any light in your life now? Or is it still dark?"

"Gray, it's still gray."

"And your eating habits?"

"Same as always,"

"Great, what of the assignment I gave you the last time we sat together? Did you carry it out?"

"Not really,"

"Why not? You couldn't find a suitable candidate?"

I sat still, my gaze fixed on the window screen. There was a little insect stuck in between the rails, it's fragile legs struggled to make it through the holes but it was a difficult prospect. I thought of myself in that moment and how I was in a box, an icy gray box filled with nothingness, yet struggling to grab unto something.

"Mr. White, have you no answer for me?" She asked again. "The books weren't as helpful as you thought they would?"

"One of them was, I had a self reflection at one point,"

"Which one of them?"

"The deep search by Calvin Hannan. I did the assignment as well but it didn't turn out fine."

"You did? That's great to hear. Who was it?" Her chirpy voice startled me.

"What?" I seemed to be lost on her last question.

"Who did you choose for the assignment?"

"Annie_ Annie Wembley,"

"Sweet name, why Annie?"

My eyes searched the air for an answer, I never really thought of that until now "Because, she's my secretary."

"She's your secretary?" Mrs. Newman asked shockingly. "Is that why you chose her? Because she's closer to you?"

"She was just in the way at that time," I muttered dryly.

"And how is that going for you?"

I shrugged. My lips in a tight pout, thinking of my next words "Not bad when I started, I wanted to help, be selfless—yuuno be a little more humane than numb but..." I sighed dejectedly, I was a bag of mess.

"But what Jeremy?"

I opened my mouth to reply when the blaring of my phone cut me off. I checked to see it was from Brandon my father. He never called unless it was urgent.

"My times up," I announced and stood up instantly.

The woman seemed sullen that our time was up already, she knew it was great deal getting me to open up one bit.

"I appreciate the efforts you made today, I hope the wind blows you here another day." she said with a wave of hand.

While I left the building, I thought about my reply to her question before we got interrupted. But I felt pity, the feeling toward Miss Wembley was all pity, for her family's predicaments and it was wrong of me to think she needed that.

I met chaos when I walked into my fathers home. It was a mini party in here, swarms of people were at every corner of the house. I saw Bernard on a couch, with a woman in his arms. They shared cigarettes with each other, I knew Dad smoked but not with a strange woman in her late forties who looked like a day light gold digger.

"Dad," I called out to him in the midst of his friends, I noticed his smile dropped at the sight of me.

I walked behind him up the stairs and into his study.

"Have you seen this?" He threw a paper my way.

I scanned through the content, it was a lawsuit against our company.

"Why are we being sued for corrupt practices? It's the same people from before."

"I should be asking you that Jeremy! And on this particular occasion!"

"How's that my fault? you said you had them taken care of. I thought you reached a deal with them or something, how come they are on our necks again?"

Bernard thumped his hands on the desk, rattling everything on it. "I need you to handle this quietly and as quickly as possible, I don't want any scandal this period of time, I should be mourning him not tackling lawsuits upon lawsuits."

The realization of what he meant hit me, ripples raged through my body. It all made sense why I suddenly felt the need to speak to someone. Tomorrow was my brother's death anniversary. Ace White would forever be a cloud of storm over me, even in death he still took my place and it hurt to the core.

Dad wanted me to handle his dirt since he wasn't in the right state of mind for any of the brouhaha he had instigated in the past.

"We can let them go to court, and have our victory over them once and for all. If we keep avoiding this they'll have an upper hand against us." I reasoned, but the deadly glare I was met with had me rethink my point.

"Have you gone out of your mind? It's like telling the whole world, yes we really used some folks for lab work but we'll prove they're lying. I do not want any of that news on the internet again!!"

"How else am I supposed to take care of this situation if not in the courtroom? I have some strings I could pull there."

He snatched the file from my hand and hissed bitterly. 
"I knew you were a coward but I thought you had some balls down there, turns out I was wrong about that too. I'll have Saint Joe take care of it."

"Right," I turned to leave but he interrupted me.

"I haven't finished with you Jeremy," his eyes burned.

"What is it?"

"I need your support at the next board meeting when I push the motion to change the company's name."

"Why would you even think of doing that?"

"In remembrance of your brother. Your uncle Tito, grandma and I have agreed it's best we honor him for everything he's sacrificed for us until his death. 'ACE & WHITE' is a good name right?"

My blood turned cold with anxiety. "What about me? Does my opinion not count?"

"Don't be childish Jeremy," Dad hissed. "You can't possibly be jealous of a dead man. He's dead and that's the least we can do for him."

"You discussed it with uncle and grandma but not with me? The CEO of the company you want to change! It didn't occurred to you that my opinion mattered?"

My Father scoffed, making light of my emotions. He did that often, trying to blow off my anger as me being jealous of my dead brother. I wasn't, but he was pushing me too hard!

"It's my company son, don't forget I put you there because_"

"—Yes, I can never for one day forget that I'm just a replacement. I'm not the ideal man for the CEO position. I was never as smart or as crafty as your beloved Ace. I was never groomed for the position I occupy but guess what? I hate being there too, nothing thrills me more than just handing over my resignation letter to you and driving off to an unknown destination. That's the freedom I seek."

"Watch your tone young man, don't yell at your father."

"Then don't demand too much from your ONLY son." I emphasized on the word only. He had to realize that I was his last hope, that if I quit the office then he had to do it all alone.

I waited to calm my nerves before speaking "The only reason, I haven't walked out that door and out of your life is because of mum." My eyes met his. As usual they were without remorse at the mention of his late wife. Sometimes I wondered the kind of monster Bernard was.

"I made her a promise that I'll be here for you and for the company that you guys built from the scratch."

Bernard had that usual look of his whenever he was calculating his moves. He took steps closer, his face looking up to mine. I was briefly taller than him. I guess old age tamed his height with time.

"If you want my total respect for the sacrifices and hardwork you've put into my company then give me an 'Aye' at the next board meeting." he whispered and left me standing all alone in his office.