One Week Later

Laurence

Waking up to Dash's pet iguana sitting on my chest had become my regular wake-up call, its large black eyes looking utterly bored by the sight of me.

"Mr. Smaug," I said dryly, plucking him off my chest and placing him on the floor next to the mattress that currently sat on the ground in the empty guest bedroom. Everything I owned could be summed up with a quick glance around the room.

A clothing rack I had taken from Royal Winters, sparsely filled with the only clothes I now owned, and recently purchased. A mattress, a wobbly dorm room desk, a swivel chair that squeaked, a five-year-old laptop, and apparently Dash's pet iguana.

A far fall from what I had once owned. But necessary as I rebuilt my life from the literal ashes.

After a quick shower, in which I had to kick out the stupid iguana twice, I dressed in one of my button-down white shirts, a pair of black slacks, my suit jacket, and chucked the iguana onto Dash's sleeping face by way of good morning, fighting a smile at the satisfying help of surprise he gave as I headed out the door.

A woman leaned against my car along the sidewalk, a flash of skin peeking out beneath my second favorite dress, a blank number— 1950's off the shoulder swing dress— her bright red heels crossed at the ankles, the look making Lily Autumns look like a 1950's model, her outfit showcasing her curves, highlighting her light complexion and her dark wild hair that always made me itch to run my fingers through it.

The sight of her leaning against my car, radiating silent confidence, body relaxed, head tilted back in the sunshine, left my body buzzing, hungry to touch her. To pull her back inside my apartment and let all other plans fall away. I was always burning to touch her and it was becoming utterly distracting at work and every other aspect of life that required focus. To a detrimental degree.

Seeing my approach, she smiled, the sight of her face lighting up making me swallow, utterly alluring in a way that led me to momentarily forget why she was here. Catching my expression, she smiled wider, both pleased by my reaction and flustered that she was the one that caused it.

A blush flushed across her face as I tilted her head up, kissing her slowly, utterly transfixed by her.

When I took a step back, she blinked up at me, somewhat dazed. "Hi," she breathed.

"Hi," I responded, my mouth quirking into a smile. A rare one that always seemed to creep out when she looked at me.

Her smile softened, searching my face. "You ready?"

I sighed, placing my forehead to hers. "No. I'd much rather go back inside."

"Even with Dash giving running commentary on everything?" She gave me a peck on the lips. "You don't have to go."

"I should."

"The faster you do, the faster we can do something else. Anything you want."

"Anything I want?" I asked, tracing my nose along her jaw.

I could practically feel the flush that washed across her entire body. "Um..." was her only response.

"That is a very tempting offer, Miss Autumns..." I breathed across her skin, before forcing myself to take a step back when I felt her shudder and tried to focus on the present. "I better get started then."

Touching the corner of her dress, I felt the fabric between my fingers, the silk like a set of wrapping paper I wanted to unwrap. "No sense in letting this outfit go to waste."

"I'm just going to be sitting in the car," she said with an amused expression.

I opened the car door for her, watching her slide inside. "After we are done, I'm taking you on a date."

She looked up at me in surprise. "Really?"

I bit back a laugh. There were still moments where her bar for everyone around her was very low. She deserved far more than I could currently give her, and I planned on spending every day working hard to be worthy of the love she gave.

"Lily, we've been dating for three months. Of course I'm taking you out."

Her lips quirked up into a smile. "Just promise me it won't be to a KFC."

...

We pulled up to the California State Prison and it took physical effort to remove my hands from the steering wheel. If I was being perfectly honest with myself, I didn't want to go inside. I didn't want to see Carter. I wanted to erase him completely from my life and create a brand new one where what he had done didn't haunt my nightmares.

Just the image of him laughing as my house burned down sent a spark of anger through me. My therapist, who had seen first hand how unhinged my brother was, told me that anger was perfectly normal. But the logic of that statement didn't make it any easier to deal with. Carter had tried to hurt Lily, and that alone left me on the verge of washing my hands of him and walking away forever.

And if today didn't go well... that was what I would do.

"Sorry," I breathed, glaring down at the steering wheel, fully aware that I was dragging my feet and forcing Lily to sit in the parking lot with me. It was hard to think straight, my fingers moving into my hair and sending strands falling in several directions as I tried to prepare myself.

"Hey." Lily's fingers cupped the side of my face until I was forced to look at her. "No apologizing. I'll sit here as long as you need me to."

I closed my eyes, leaning into her touch. "If I could hate him a little more I wouldn't be here," I admitted. "And I should. I really should."

Lily stayed silent, giving me the space think out loud. "He's crossed every line. Broken every trust. But..." I sighed, the action rattling through my entire being. "I don't want him to be alone."

Carter had been allowed to write to me over the last three months, and lately he had been... trying. An unsettling reality. I knew what to do with the angry Carter. But a remorseful Carter? That was new territory. And through it all, Lily had been supportive. Something so undeserved that it left me overwhelmed with gratitude.

She kissed my cheek, lending me some of her bravery. "You've got this, Laurence. And if it's terrible, I'll just have to punch him in the face for you."

Lily reached toward my cheek. "Oh, I got lipstick on your face. Hold on."

I caught her hand in mine. "Leave it."

"But..."

"Leave it."

I wanted proof of her touch on my skin, to have her touch permanently tattooed to me. But for now, I'd accept her lipstick across my cheek.

Pulling me back in, she kissed my other cheek then leaned back with a bold smile. "There. Now you have a matching set." When I leaned in for another kiss she placed her hand to my lips. "Visit now. Kisses later."

With a frustrated growl, I pulled myself from the car, and walked toward the prison before I could talk myself out of it, crawl back into the car and drive Lily off somewhere secluded for the rest of our days.

It was hard to imagine my brother in a place like California State Prison, where everything was gray and hard and cold. I struggled to separate him as a child, bright and smiling, from the one who sat down before me, orange jumpsuit and guarded expression. I couldn't remember the last time he smiled and the reality of it hurt.

"You came," Carter said, sounding surprised as he settled down in the chair across from mine. He was paler, thinner, and overall more fragile looking. I had expected a harder exterior, but he seemed incapable of it.

"You asked me to," I replied by way of greeting.

Carter ran his fingers through his hair, a habit so much like the one I had tried to break that it cracked something inside of me. "So you got my letters," he said to the table, his fingers gripping the edge so tight that it sent his knuckles turning white.

After a long moment he looked up at me through the glass separating us, seeming at a loss for words.

"How you doing kid?" I asked, taking in my brother, wanting to ask so many more questions, but forcing myself to stick to one.

He seemed to melt into the metal chair, at the old nickname, hand running down his face. "I'm a mess." He let out a tired laugh. "But that wouldn't be a surprise to you now would it?"

I didn't know what to say. I had never been a man who knew how to comfort. I fixed things. But there was no fixing this. We fell into an awkward silence and after a beat I forced out another question. "How's the food?"

Carter snorted. "I forgot how bad you are at small talk. The food is terrible. I'd kill for a cheeseburger—" he cut himself off when I stiffened at his words. "Sorry. Poor choice of words." He ran his fingers through his hair again. "They have me seeing a therapist. It's... uncomfortable, so I know it's probably good for me. Like eating vegetables."

"And you always hated those," I said, remembering him at five, throwing broccoli at the dog when our mother wasn't looking, only for the dog to spit it out at our mother's feet, revealing his crime.

"And I hate therapy," he muttered.

"Ah, come on. A little emotional vegetables won't hurt ya," I said, the words falling out of my mouth and surprising us both.

Carter laughed, pleased by the look of shock by my own words. "There he is."

A small smile quirked up at the corner of his mouth, showcasing a dimple. "I haven't seen you make a joke in a long time."

Then his eyes moved to my cheeks, his smile cracking wider when he caught Lily's lipstick marks. "Nice."

His words made me tense, on high alert. We were one breath away from our tentative civility crashing down.

Cater sighed, deflating at my reaction. "Sorry. Wrong thing to say..." He swore, looking away. "I'm... I'm not very good at... well not coming across like an ass."

He leaned forward, determination crossing his expression. "What I meant was... It's nice... to see you happy."

His words surprised me. I couldn't remember the last time I had heard a kind word from him. It left me feeling strangely unsettled, like waiting a breath before a final blow. But instead of adding a cruel remark, he changed the subject with an awkward cough.

"You'd like my celmate. Won't shut up about how his girlfriend on the outside is obsessed with Royal Fash— Royal Winters." He offered a tired shrug. "I hate to say it and I'll deny it if you ever bring it up again but... that Winters chick is very good at designing stuff."

Carter tugged on the sleeve of his jumpsuit, looking physically uncomfortable with the compliment. "I'd be angrier if I wasn't so impressed with what she's done with the place."

I let out a surprised laugh. "I guess it's a family trait. She pisses me off on a regular basis too."

Carter offered me a grateful smile before gesturing to my cheek. "You gonna marry her?"

"Yes."

"When?" he asked, startled by my instant reply.

I sighed. I would have married Lily a few weeks after I met her if I hadn't been such an idiot. If I had been brave enough to ask her out and openly fall for her instead of burying it under three years of denial and fear.

"As soon as she'll let me."

Carter processed my words with a nod. "Good. Anyone that can punch Derik like that is strong enough for our crazy family."

Derik was another subject we had avoided since Carter's arrest, and now it sat in between us like a large snake threatening to strike.

"He isn't in here with me," Carter said. "He's serving a life sentence somewhere else...." the word 'life' made Carter's voice crack. He swallowed, steadying his voice under the reality of his new future. "They didn't want us in the same place. I hear he's in physical therapy after..."

You burned my house down, went unsaid.

I nodded, looking away. I had no intention of ever seeing that man again. Carter was already hard enough to forgive, and he was family, but Derik... he had fought Lily, tried to rip her apart. And I was afraid of what I would do to him if I ever saw him again.

"She'll say yes you know," Carter said, interrupting my thoughts. "When you ask her. She'll say yes." He looked down, his eyes hooded in shadow. "I know it doesn't mean much now but, tell her... I'm sorry."

Swallowing, I stood up, ready to leave. I wanted to believe him. To believe that he was trying, but a single visit and a set of apologies wouldn't make everything better. "I will."

"I'm sorry, Laurence," Carter said, his voice soft through the glass. It took me a long, painful moment to turn back around and look at my brother.

His expression was earnest, honest and ashamed. "I'll see you next week," I said in reply.

"You'll come back?" Carter asked, sounding more like a little boy than the man I had come to know.

"Yeah."

Carter looked suddenly small, a child in a man's jumpsuit. "Okay," he said softly, looking far more relieved than he had when I first came inside. And that single look made me believe for just a moment, that maybe, things could get a little better.

"Okay," I repeated before walking outside.

I was greeted by a warm smile and a tender tug of fingers weaving together with mine as I slid back into the car. "How was it?"

"Not as bad as I expected."

Leaning toward Lily, I pulled her into a kiss, enjoying a moment with the person who made me feel safe and seen when my world felt untethered.

After a moment she looked up at me, wide eyed. "Wow. So... a lot better than you expected," she said with a laugh.

I smiled, plucked up her hand and kissed her knuckles. "Yeah. Now come on. We've been dating for three months and I think that earns us a three month anniversary date."

...

Lily's eyes went impossibly wide. Her mouth making a perfect 'o' shape as she stared out at the dance floor that looked out at the water of Laguna Beach Harbor. The Queen Mary— a ship built in the 1930's for transatlantic travel— had drinks and dancing once a week in the style of the early 1900's. The marble floor, chandelier, and tall dark oak table tops that spilled across the edges of the room, were a throw back to the Jazz age, and roaring twenties level extravaganza.

The event was called the Swing Fling, an event I had wanted to take Lily to ever since she had fallen in love with the Speakeasy I bought.

And watching her now, soaking in the jazz and swing music, her eyes glittering with delight, I knew I had picked right. Everyone was dressed in early 1900's attire from zoot suits, fedoras, flapper dresses, pearls, to poodle skirts that all came together on the dance floor as a swing band played, the sun setting as the backdrop, causing the dance floor to burn orange in the sunshine.

Lily turned to look up at me, a delighted smile lighting up her big brown eyes. "Where... how... what is this place?" Her fingers played with the hem of her dress, overwhelmed by the sight of it all.

"A place I thought you'd like."

I plucked up her hands and pulled her toward the dance floor, the music roaring around us. "Dance with me."

We spun onto the dance floor, Lily's black dress flaring out around her as we moved, her hand in mine, the other on my shoulder, while my hand took its place on her waist, enjoying the feeling of her close to me.

We moved around the room, her long hair brushing across my hand, her body fitting perfectly against mine as we spun. The world blurred until there was nothing and no one but her and those eyes. Utterly beguiling as they stared back up at me.

We danced song after song after song, until finally, winded, the music changed and our rhythm took up a slow flow, Lily's fingers moving up to take up position at the nape of my neck. She looked up at me under her long lashes and I felt unraveled, undone by that smile, incandescently happy. A smile I had given her.

"You look happy," she said, taking in my expression as I gazed back down at her.

"You make me happy," I replied.

Her smile grew impossibly wider before she looked down embarrassed. Even though she had grown confident, there were still moments where she couldn't quite believe her effect on me.

She leaned her head against my chest. "You enjoying yourself?" I asked in a teasing tone as she gave a content sigh.

Lily laughed. "No. Not in the slightest."

"I guess I'll have to try harder then."

As the next song ended, I pulled her out onto the deck, the sea air wafting over us, the sunset tucking itself away beneath the clear cool water of the pacific ocean and breathing sparks of light across it like a final cry of protest.

Lily turned toward the light, eyes drinking in the sight. The jazz music seeped outside, the notes hanging in the air and mixing with the sound of the ocean waves, creating a new kind of music. "Beautiful," she breathed.

I watched her, taking in the way her hair blew across her back, figure striking in the dimming light of day as the sun highlighted her every curve and angle. "You are," I said softly.

She turned to look at me, fighting another blush. "You really know how to show a girl a good time," she said playfully, flustered under my gaze, her fingers playing with the railing bar.

"Good." I placed my hands on either side of her body, caging her body in against the railing. She tilted her head up, eyes taking me in. "You looked cold," I said by way of explanation for why I had moved so close.

"You don't need to come up with excuses to be close to me, Laurence," she said softly. "I enjoy being with you."

Those words. The reality of them were everything.

I felt suddenly nervous, worried in a way that had nothing to do with how high up we were, and everything to do with a question that had begun to burn in my mouth, threatening to break free and change everything.

Lily saw my expression change and touched my cheek. "What is it?"

Swallowing, I took a step back. "I got you something but you know how I am with gifts." Reaching into my jacket pocket, I pulled out a small wrapped gift.

"Another notebook? she asked as she unwrapped it.

I smiled at the crinkle of confusion in her brow. "Thank you," she said, attempting to sound excited.

"Open it, Lily."

Jazz notes floated out onto the balcony, serving as a tentative backdrop as she cautiously opened the notebook and reading my note inside. A simple, life changing question.

Her eyes went wide before finding mine, her perfect chocolate brown eyes staring up at me in disbelief. "Is this a joke."

"I would never joke about this," I said, taking a step closer.

"But we haven't..." she trailed off, fingers clutching the notebook.

"I've known you for three and a half years."

Another step.

"It's fast," she added.

Another step, now close enough to feel her breath on my skin, see the flecks of gold in her dark eyes.

"I can wait," I said, my fingers tracing patterns on her bare shoulder. "For as long as it takes."

"Did I already ask of this was a joke?" she breathed.

"You did. And it still isn't."

"Oh..." she stared down at the notebook in her hands, stunned.

"Lily?"

Her eyes were still on the journal. "Yes?"

"Will you answer my question?"

She blinked, finally looking at me, standing on the middle of the deck, the wind whipping around us as I knelt, heart pounding wildly.

"Here?!?" she whispered loudly.

I laughed, amused by her sudden panic. "No one is here." She continued to look around, face growing bright red.

"Lily, I need to ask you a question."

She shook her head wildly. "That's okay."

"Just let me say this." I gently tapped the notebook still clutched in her hands. "This is the notebook I should have given you when you stepped into my office that day. I should have given it to you the moment I met you. The moment I laid eyes on you."

Her eyes were impossibly wide. "Laurence..."

I hurried on, my words tripping over each other, my practiced speech falling to pieces, scattering to the wind at the sight of her. "You don't have to say yes right now. Not for a long time if that's what you need. But I needed you to know... that I want you. I want to marry you. I don't want things to stay the same. I want every day with you to be a new adventure. A life of firsts and chances taken and..."

I trailed off, embarrassed by how my memorized thoughts had vanished, leaving me with bullet points that were disjointed and no where near the speech I had planned. As I reached up to rake my fingers through my hair, her hand caught mine, pulling my gaze up to hers.

"Aren't you going to ask me your question? Or are you going to keep doubting yourself?"

She tugged my hand away from my hair and dropped the notebook, the pages fluttering until they landed on the words I had written, now on full display across the deck.

Will you marry me, Lily Autumns, and fill these pages with every new adventure we share?

She cupped my face, smiling past tears. "Do you really doubt my answer?" She pulled me toward her by my suit jacket and gave me a long kiss before she leaned back and smiled, a tear falling down her cheek. "Yes. Laurence Royal. I will."

I pulled her back in, her lips against mine, driving me senseless. My fingers brushed away her tears. Her hair caressed my face as the wind picked up into a howl around us, drowning out the music from inside, cocooning us in our own world.

Her skin felt intoxicating under my fingers, her lips a world I was desperate to explore until the day I died.

I pulled back long enough to pull a box from my pocket.

A 1940's antique round cut diamond that had belonged to my mother sat inside. A woman who would have wanted to have known Lily. And as I slipped the ring on Lily's finger, a part of me felt like she would. A piece of her life, coming along on my next adventure.

"It's beautiful," Lily said, staring from it, up to me, smiling so bright that it left a deep wanting ache in my chest.

"It was my mothers," I said, watching her smile turn soft and tender. "Thank you for trusting me with it. I would have liked to have known her."

I swallowed, the words hard to say past the lump in my throat, my eyes blurring with tears. "She would have loved you."

Lily glanced out at the water before looking back at me, another type of smile taking up her face. The one that told me she was on the verge of telling me something funny. "You know... Allie is probably going to insist on designing my dress. I think she'll be more of a bridezilla about my dress than I will be."

I held up Lily's hand, taking in the sight of my mother's ring on her finger. "Allie's seen the ring. She spotted me looking at it through my office wall and forced it from my hands to make sure that she could create the perfect dress to compliment it. You should mentally prepare yourself to try on a dress in the next week or so if she spots you with that ring on."

Lily shook her head, smiling out at the water. "Of course she's already working on it."

Then she peeked up at me, looking embarrassed. "And I'd mentally prepare myself if I were you. My brothers... and probably Dash too, will all insist on being your best man. And if I were you, I'd make them fight over it... Maybe a set of games? A talent contest?"

The image she painted, the reality of the next stage of our lives finally hit me. And the truth of it filled me with such elation that I pulled Lily in for another kiss, spinning her around on the deck as she laughed, the sun finally setting behind the water, leaving the world dark, but somehow still utterly bright.

THE END

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