It was hard to process how everyone around me went about their lives, like nothing had changed. But to be fair most of them weren't dealing with their ex-boyfriend spilling dirt about them, or having a nonofficial, yet deeply emotionally involved relationship that sparked your non-boyfriend/ ex-boss's brother to try and plan something that would destroy you and by proxy, destroy your non-boyfriend/ ex-boss. 

That was a mouth full to say. 

In short, Carter was causing problems for me because of my confusing relationship with his brother, and a part of me expected the world around me to be different because of it.

Trying to wrap my head around it all left me feeling grumpy and tired as I met my brothers for breakfast the next morning at five am at a breakfast place called Waffle Castle, having hardly slept after the text about Carter.

By the time I slid into the booth, my brothers had already ordered 'first breakfast' and were looking over the menu, trying to decide what to order for 'second breakfast'.

"You okay?" Will asked me as I rubbed my eyes.

Finn blinked at Will, confused. "She is clearly not fine. Why would you even ask that?"

Will face palmed. "It was an opening line to get her to talk Finn. But thanks for the backup."

Finn nodded, going back to the menu, pulling out his phone to compare the items to reviews he found online, trying to decide which one was the best to try.

"Just grumpy," I muttered. "People kept me up with a lot of movies about cars..."

"Rude," Will said in a mocking tone.

"I'm working on getting answers on Carter's location," Sam said, pushing an iced mocha across the table toward me. "Now drink this before you bite our heads off."

I muttered a string of threats before settling my fingers around the iced mocha, somewhat pacified. Sam smiled, used to my grumpiness before coffee and pushed the menu before me. "Let's get you something to eat. Then Finn will tell you what the plan for the day is."

"I have to work," I said, glancing over the menu. "No more all nighters for me."

Finn ignored my protest. "Step one. Breakfast." He tapped the first item on his laminated list, keeping it safe from aggressive Autumns brother's touches. "Step two. Pay Liam a house call to 'talk'. Step three. Drop Lily off at work. Step four. The beach—"

"Woah, back up. House call?"

Finn looked up at me and nodded, completely serious. "Yes. We haven't met him. Seemed like the right thing to do."

Will nodded, his face far less innocent. "Yes. We would very much like to know more about the men in your life."

"He isn't in my life."

"He mentioned wanting you back. So a pause shouldn't stop us from 'getting to know' our potential future brother in law," Will said, smile dark, eyes promising murder.

"There will be no house call. No getting back together. He's done. Gone. Let it go."

Finn gestured to the list. "It's laminated. So that makes it official."

I narrowed my eyes, refusing to let the laminated argument win again. "MAKE. A. NEW. LIST."

Finn pulled out a second list, also laminated. "Fine." I let out a sigh of relief. "We'll drop you off, and then we make the house call."

"Me being there isn't the issue!"

Finn held up both lists, unfazed. "They are laminated. Final. I can't change them now."

I groaned. "There is no talking you out of this?"

They all shook their heads in unison. Then Henry quirked a brow at me. "Aren't you curious to know how Liam and Carter know each other?"

I had to admit, I wanted a few answers. Answers that I wouldn't get if my brothers weren't with me. But I knew better than to assume it would be a non physically violent visit...

...

After my first breakfast, and my brother's third breakfast, we got into Sam's rental SUV and drove over to Liam's apartment. I tried to give a list of parameters— no setting things on fire, no tying him up, no asking him questions about his childhood— you aren't his therapists— no breaking into his home, no hacking his computer and sending spam out to all of his contacts— but sadly, my demands were met with scoffs and snorts.

Clearly this isn't going to go the way I want it to go... Well maybe I want to set Liam's stuff on fire a little, but still... I don't want my brothers to go to jail.

Sam didn't ask for directions, apparently having gotten them from Bex, and before I was mentally prepared, we were in front of his apartment door, me forcing my brothers to take several steps back while I knocked. "He won't open the door if he sees an army of... well you."

After several minutes of knocking, Liam opened the door, looking far more disheveled than I had ever seen him. He blinked down at me, confused, silk pajamas wrinkled.

"Lily?" He rubbed his eyes. "It's six in the morning."

I had forgotten what time it was. "Good morning Liam. Sleep well?"

"It was the only time I could be sure he'd be here," Finn said behind me in explanation, feeling the need to defend his schedule.

Liam tried to peer past me. "What's going on? What are you doing here?"

Before he could get his bearings, I pushed past him, into his apartment. "We need to talk."

I turned and sat down on Liam's favorite leather chair, watching his eye twitch as I settled down. My choice had been purposeful. Liam had never let anyone sit in that particular chair. It was 'his,' and he didn't share it. EVER.

I crossed my legs, leaning back, gesturing for Liam to sit down in the far less comfortable love seat across from me. "You might as well sit. Your other visitors will help you with that if you find that to be a challenge."

Liam looked back through the doorway and found my brothers standing there in a menacing boy band pose. "Hiya Dirt Sack!" Henry said by way of greeting, shattering the dark and brooding vibe Jack was attempting to give off. "Take a seat!"

Slumping down into the loveseat like a marionette with it's strings cut, Liam looked up at my brothers with an unreadable expression. "Your... brothers?"

I smiled. "Yeah, you remember them right? You were all too happy to mention them to Carter when you talked to him yesterday."

Liam paled. "Oh."

"That's a weird way to say 'I'm sorry,'" Will said, perching against the love seat while my other brothers fanned out. Sam took up the doorway, leaning against the frame in a casual yet menacing manner, his frame nearly as large as the door itself.

Liam looked at my brothers before his eyes fell back on me. "What do you want me to say?"

My brothers stayed silent, having miraculously agreed to let me take the lead. I wanted answers. Whatever they did post that was their business.

"Tell me why," I said. "What on earth possessed you to tell that man anything about me?"

Liam looked at my brothers again, half expecting them to say something. 

I leaned forward. "Don't look at them. They won't help you. They are literally the last people in the world that would ever help you. So be honest, because I can't promise kindness from any of them."

Liam swallowed and nodded. "Okay." He ran his fingers through his hair. "My firm is Carter's lawyer. He pays well. He's favored. And I am so close to making partner. It was a tough call, but he promised not to touch you."

"Oh great! That makes me feel so much better! Just emotional pain then. Awesome. What a relief! You really know how to woo people Liam."

The energy in the room seemed to crackle, my brothers itching to peel his skin off.

"I didn't think you'd find out."

I laughed, the sound hollow and sharp. "And you are known for being good with your words. It's a miracle you haven't made partner with a mouth like that."

"You never seemed to have a problem with my—"

Sam cleared his throat, a single gesture that sent Liam slamming his mouth shut.

"That doesn't matter," I said, picking up the conversation. "Even after everything you've done. I would never do that to you."

Liam had the common sense to stay quiet.

"What is Carter planning to do?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I have no idea. But he thinks that you are a weakness for Royal. So whatever it is, I'd watch out."

If he didn't know what Carter was doing, there was no other reason for me to be here. Shouting at him. Physically destroying him wouldn't make me feel better. It would just leave me with blood on my hands and a mess to clean.

I stood up. Getting ready to leave. 

"I'm... sorry Lily."

I looked down at him, the man who I had dated for six months, who had shattered my self confidence, who had told an attempted murderer how to break me and felt nothing but pity. "If I hadn't heard the conversation... would you have ever tried to warn me?"

His silence was answer enough.

As I turned toward the door, Liam's voice stopped me in my tracks.

"I had no choice!" he stood to his feet, his voice pleading. "Do you have any idea how dangerous a man like that is? He could destroy everything for me!"

I spun around, my palm burning, Liam stumbling back, tripping over his coffee table and landing flat on his back on the other side, hand to his cheek. I hadn't even realized I slapped him.

The room was silent for a long moment. Then I crouched next to him, hands on my knees as I stared down into his face. "I know exactly who he is. He's the man you've sold me to. He's the man you think is worth killing me to keep favor with." 

I stood back up and walked toward the door, my brothers filing out ahead of me, all except for Sam who I could tell truly wanted to lock the door after I left and leave nothing of the man for the world to find once he was done. 

But he took one look at me, at the shock on Liam's face as he nursed his cheek, and finally, walked out the door. 

As I grabbed the handle to the door I called over my shoulder. "And he's the man who will regret the day that he messed with an Autumns."

I glanced over my shoulder long enough to say a final thing before closing the door to Liam's apartment. "I didn't let my brothers have you this time. If you tell Carter that I was here, there won't be anything left of you for your bosses to find when they give you that promotion that you sold your soul for."

...

Bex was no longer working at my desk, and the look of rejection on Dash's face told me she had made her final day there, and his rejection, a memorable one. 

With Bex and Delle's departure, the office had fallen back into a normal rhythm. Allie was buzzing around her office like a mad scientist, glancing from sketches to mannequins, adjusting cloth before repining it, deeply focused. 

Dash was attempting to organize Laurence's calendar, while Laurence sat in his office, going over several budget spreadsheets. I enjoyed the quiet, familiar office dance, falling into the routine of organization that kept my mind busy, my concerns melting away. There was no room for Carter's mysterious disappearance. Just me, and the future shoots I needed to organize. 

Hours flew by before I looked up from my computer to find a familiar blond ducking into Laurence's office. Dash looked at Natalie, Laurence's therapist, with a frustrated expression. "I really need to get Laurence to tell me what she's always here for. She can't stay in the calendar as 'appointment', it's not professional."

"You care about professionalism?"

He shrugged. "It sounded better than, 'why won't he tell me!'

I watched Laurence invite Natalie to sit down as their session began, and found myself standing to my feet, realizing that I had something I wanted to add to my list of improvements Allie had me working on. I was in Allie's office before I could change my mind. 

"Do you recommend your therapist?" I blurted out, surprising Allie. 

She looked up from a sketch she was working on, blinking several times, seeming to come back to planet earth from her creative bubble she had been housing herself in. 

Unlike Laurence, Allie was very open about the fact that she was in therapy. Allie had been seeing someone for her anger for over eight months. I had noticed a difference, watching her lean more into being pranky rather than punchy, which was probably why she was always messing with Laurence.

Allie nodded, still only half in the room with me. The rest of her mind falling back to her task. "I'll send you her contact information."

I nodded, but when Allie made no move to ask me why I was suddenly interested, and instead began to go back to her sketch, I quickly added, "I'm becoming more confident, and I believe in myself a lot more. But there are still areas that I want to work on." 

Allie smiled. "Proud of you. It's not always easy to admit when we need help." Then she was gone from the room again, eyes glazing over as she fell back into her work.

Laurence's desire for self improvement, his words about 'getting his life in order' encouraged me to do the same. Yes I was more confident. Yes I believed I was valuable and was worthy of love. But that didn't mean I was done working on myself. And after the day I had, listening to Liam, breaking so easily every time Laurence showed uncertainty about me, I knew I had to build myself up. I couldn't rely on someone else for my self image. Not again. 

So as I settled back down at my desk, and Allie's text came through with her therapist's contact information, I sent out an email, setting up my first appointment. 

---

Thank you for reading chapter thirty one! I hope you are enjoying the story! Or are at least curious to see where it goes! Add this story to your reading list to know when the next chapter drops!

UPDATE DAYS - A NEW CHAPTER EVERY FRIDAY!

Will we see Liam again?

Will he tell Carter that Lily knows about their conversation?

How will therapy for Lily go? 

Where is Carter? What is he planning?

What will happen next?

CHAPTER QUESTION - It's self kindness time! What is something you like about yourself? I like my sense of humor.