The match goes on and around. I just sit in the bleachers. My eyes defiantly falling upon the one I should ignore. His whole body flexes when he kicks the football, passes it to his teammates. His ambient presence burning a fire inside me.

I try to look at Peter instead but even before he passes the ball to Joseph, I find myself already looking at him. The obscurity of the feelings are like a bucket of cold water on my face.

He doesn't want you here. Then also you are staring at him? Is this something you want.

But. But he said that he wanted to tell everyone about us. He said that I was beautiful.

I ashamedly look at Scarlett bouncing on her heels with the pom pomp on her hands. Her cheering and calling out Joseph almost every second of the match. Is this always the way they have been. Is that the reason that they stand too close and whisper at each other in the hallway.

The traffic like red lights spark inside my heart. Feeling like I am at the farthest. Stuck. I look at Cathy beside me, shouting and jumping for the first time, " We should always come to this. I didn't knew it was so so exciting. Look. Look. Peter is going to score a goal. " Cathy shouts and points at the other side of the field.

" Yeahhhhhhhhhh go Peter. " She shouts and I hear the crowd of people shouting in agreement. " Get up you lazy. " She says and drags me up, she bumps a fist on my hand. I try to twist my face so that it turns to a smile. But then I remember Peter has been nothing but kind to me. So I turn my head towards the ground and genuinely clap for him.

But then my eyes find the Arctic ones like always and I see him glaring at me. A huge boulder pummels to my stomach but this time I don't blink. Because I know if I will, I will cry.

So I look away and at Peter, who is shining in the spotlight grinning towards us. The ever kind.

The half time is over and there is break time. After giving a smile at Peter I completely turn my head towards Cathy. Nodding to whatever she is saying. I don't dare to look at the ground because I know what would I find. But defiantly again from the corner of my eyes I see the red skirt and white polyester top heading towards the football team.

This time I completely turn my back on them. Cathy frowns up at me but doesn't say anything.

It's always good between us. Thank God she doesn't ask, what could I have said to her.

A whistle blows. " Now come on the break is over turn around. "

I only turn around counting after ten.
The match starts again, and I see someone from our school team passing the ball to Shawn. Shawn steers right and passes it to Joseph. To Joseph's right there was Peter. He was shouting at Joseph to pass but Joseph didn't. Peter kept shouting. The other team mates look confused.

Another boy from Baton High School came running towards Joseph, then another. Joseph richocheted the ball around, it was as if everyone stopped breathing for a moment. Peter kept shouting, and then, bang, a goal.

Everyone from our school in the bleachers jumped at once. Shouting and screaming in happiness. We had won with 3/1. Joseph at once turned and looked towards me, as if expecting a reaction. Although I felt happy that our school won and that he scored the goal. For once, I didn't get up for myself. I clapped my hands as if I would have for just anybody else who made our school won.

I saw the thunder at once. His beleaguered look at once was captured and enveloped by his team mates. I saw Peter frowning and giving small smiles to his teammates who patted on his back. Even Shawn did. But I saw the infernal look pass between Joseph and Peter. And I felt ashamed at once. Because of whatever shit going around me and Joseph, inevitably  Peter becomes the target. I knew I had to clear that for him at once.

I moved out from the bleachers to the bus where all the students excitedly shouted on the way Mable High School. I was with Cathy when I heard Peter calling out our names. I turned and saw his curls bouncing on his head. His tall legs making it easy for him to sprint towards us.

" Ladies you are with me. " He winked and took both of our arms. Cathy and I instantly flushed and looked around founding the piercing gazes of girls inflicting wrath arround at us. But Peter did not seem to notice and steered us at the bus behind. I could already see the football team and cheerleading team going up on them.

My feets seemed to freeze. I didn't want to go to that bus.

" Hey we'll meet you in school you can go and fun with your teammates we'll be fine. " I said cannily.

" No. You two came for me, thanks for that.  And besides you both are my friend. Let's go together." Peter grins and Cathy nods her head diligently.

I look at both of them and understand that I have already lost the argument. I self consciously tug at my Beatles t-shirt. And prepare myself fir the three hyenas and the person in the bus whom I shamefully couldn't ignore but should.

So with a deep breath I take the cue and get up on the bus when Cathy gently pushes me from behind. And as I feared the blue beacon eyes burn me the instant it comes in contact.

I look up and see him sitting in the right side facing no other than Scarlett who seems to be excitedly reporting something to him.

The conversations Stop. They all look at me.

And at the right moment I could imagine them sneering up at me. I waited but it didn't happen. And suddenly I knew why. Because it was Peter gently touching my shoulders then my hands assaugjng me at the back of the bus. Cathy seemed to automatically follow. A new sense of confidence in her.

At that right moment. I beesched sudden confidence just like her because I could feel people looking at me like a raptor, I could feel the pallor on my face. The moment I was beside the seat of Joseph and Scarlett a sense of quiescent passed around and Scarlett openly cast an affronting look at me. I heared Sofia sneering somewhere. But Peter gently pushed me forward and with a sense of dread but something else I took a seat in the back.

Peter and Cathy immediately sat beside me, passing me a soothing smile. I smiled back. If they can look out for me, I can too.

I could feel the burning gaze of Joseph all the time. But this time I decided to not look and I didn't.

Whatever he had with Scarlett I couldn't understand. But I could just understand one thing. I just wanted one thing today. For him to look at me and smile. Just a simple smile.

When he didn't, I smiled for myself.