Compliments little loser, you managed to get the first door open.

The beginning is usually the datum for the end. So we have got to start right up there. I mean, the mornings, when the sun is somewhere up and it's time for us to start out the day.

An ordinary smarty makes sure he has set an alarm and compliments himself (herself too - you sexist) on his punctuality, self-discipline, blah...blah! Well, in our society, this is the first suicide of the day.

"Thy shall never-ever set an alarm"

The problem with smarties is that they like to think they are smart. Dumbo, if you had to put a damn reminder, it obviously isn't important enough to even remember. And you are what ?? Putting an alarm to like waking up?? C'mon now! If I don't do anything, I would finally get up. Our rules are way different.

The 'L' Society does not, as a rule, believe in alarms or even reminders for anything. What if the reminder reminds us of whatever the shit we were supposed to be reminded of? This will be an opportunity lost. Why undertake the task which I could simply forget and let someone with a 'reminder' do it? That way, I can continue to punish myself in the bed, lying freaking horizontal, while my buddy smarty has the privilege of standing up and actually working. He is so lucky. I am sure he would thank god every time at my sight for giving him the opportunity. We never miss the opportunity to procrastinate.

Test 1 - Lie on your back and take a long deep breath. Now flip on your stomach and act dead for as long as you can hold your breath.