Chapter 25

Primrose

My heart was thumping so fast as I stared at the door, still deciding whether to knock or not. Sighing, I carefully knocked on the door. Loey halted as soon as he saw me standing in front of their room when he opened the door.

"They're waiting downstairs," I said looking down to the floor. "I also decided to accompany you guys during the shoot."

A soft chuckle made me look up at him, blinking. Saglit siyang umiling bago lumapit sa akin at bahagyang ginulo ang buhok ko.

I pouted.

"Bakit sa sahig ka nakatingin? Sahig ba kausap mo? Siya na ba si Loey?" natatawang tanong niya. Tiningnan ko siya nang masama, kaya naman itinaas niya ang dalawang kamay niya bilang pagsuko. "Fine, I'll just change and follow you downstairs, okay? Ang bilis mo talagang mainis."

Umirap muna ako sa kanya bago umalis sa harap ng kwarto nila ni Baron. Para saan pang kinakabahan ako kanina? Nakalimutan kong si Loey nga pala siya, at siguradong ayaw niyang may makapansin na malungkot siya o ano pa man. Alam ko at nararamdam ko na hindi pa rin sila handa ngayong araw.

When I reached the living room, they were all silent. The atmosphere was a bit heavy, which rarely happens when it comes to this group.

"Loey's just changing," I said to no one particular. They all just nodded without glancing at me, and that made me sigh. The only person who did was Leigh. He gave me a reassuring smile, which I responded with a nod.

"Let's go and see what will happen. That show's lucky to have us, and I'm sure their ratings will soar higher than they imagined. Let's go, legendary SBG!" Loey shouted.

I shook my head as I observed how he was trying to be jolly, like his usual self. We all know that he's just trying to lighten up the mood, just like what he and Baron always do.

The whole crew was busy when we arrived at the shooting place, but they still welcomed us warmly. Well, they should be. They're the ones who invited my artists so they need to get on our good side. We can go and not do the show anytime, anyway.

"My pleasure to meet you personally, Miss President," the head director of the show greeted, extending his right hand.

I smiled politely before accepting it for a handshake. "The pleasure is mine. Thank you for inviting my boys to your show," I said, glancing at his team and nodded as a form of greeting. They did the same and even the boys behind me.

We were escorted to the waiting room for the SBG and told them to prepare for the shoot. We saw the three when we were on our way to the waiting room. They were about to approach me if not for Loey who stood closer to my right, and Leigh to my left, like they were my bodyguards. They all watched us as we entered the room–away from the three.

"Well, I hope we'll get things done smoothly. I'll have to admit that I'm not really comfortable being in the same place and the same show with our former members. I guess my acting skills will be put to use here," Dred said as soon as he settled himself on a chair.

"You're lucky to have that skill, Dred, but how about me who doesn't even know a thing about acting? Our fans are smart, they might see through it easily!" Matt complained. Then he turned to me, "Miss President, I'll have to apologize in advance if they begin to notice that there's something odd in our interactions with Liam, Kuya Kane, and Tripp."

I waved my hands at him. "They would be too happy with your reunion to notice such a thing. Just do your best and be civil with them."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko, na halos magwala na ito. Huminga ako nang malalim at pilit na pinakalma ang sarili. SBG needs me to be okay.

Sana talaga maging ayos lang ang lahat.

My eyes landed on Loey who was wearing a serious expression as he put on his headset. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

"Don't worry about him. He's alright, he just needs some space to calm down," Leigh whispered.

All I could do was nod as I watched Loey loosen up a bit while listening to music. We waited until one of the crew members fetched the boys for briefing. I'm not worried because I know they already got their scripts and memorized it; what I'm worried about is how they will interact with their former co-members. Maybe except for Leigh, since he was already used to sharing the same show and stage with them.

Naghintay lang ako sa loob ng silid hanggang sa pumasok si Loey at sinabing magsisimula na sila sa first shoot.

Bago pa siya tumalikod at maglakad palabas ay mabilis akong tumayo't naglakad patungo sa kanya. Umawang ang labi niya nang hawakan ko siya sa braso. Tiningnan niya ako nang may pagtataka.

"Okay ka na ba?" tanong ko.

He just stared at me for a moment, but as Loey was being himself, he chuckled a bit. "Of course, I'm fine. Ako pa ba? Tara na nga, baka hindi sila makapagsimula dahil wala pa ang isang Loey Parker."

Ngumiti na lang ako kahit halatang pilit ang tawa niya at walang kislap ang kanyang mga mata. I wanted to comfort him but I don't know how to. Did I make the right decision? Or am I forcing them, also causing them a new pain?

I shook my head, inhaling deeply as I followed him silently. May mga ibang napapatingin sa amin, lalo na sa akin pero kaagad din umiiwas. For sure naman ay kilala na nila ako, except sa part na asawa ako nitong katabi ko.

"Just stay here and cheer for us, okay?"

I nodded at him and glanced at the others. When they all looked at me, I gave them thumbs up and smiled widely to show them that I'm here to support them. When I turned, I caught the three looking back and forth to me and the SBG, but I shrugged it away. I'm here for Loey and the others, not for those in the past. I should just ignore them for now, right?

The girls, who were part of the show fighting for the chance to debut, looked at the group, giggling like a teenage girl. Well, of course, some of them are just teenagers. I wanted to roll my eyes, but stopped myself from doing so since I need to behave. Ate Alice's order. Minsan talaga parang ginagawa pa rin nila akong bata, eh. Ewan ko ba sa kanila ni tito!

"Okay, ready!" the director shouted.

Liam and Tripp are the main hosts of the show as they did a little performance that made the girls scream. When Kuya Kane, one of the special hosts, started to perform also, another round of giggles, shouting his name, and a cheer erupted in the place, especially when Liam joined him since it's their collaboration.

"Wow, the girls are all excited," Liam smiled. "Now that the three of us are all on the same stage, it really feels weird and nostalgic, don't you think?" He asked the two who immediately agreed. "But, don't you think it's still a bit empty?"

This time, Kuya Kane was the one who just agreed. "Even if we're here together, there's something lacking..." he then stopped a bit, grinning in front of the camera. "I think we really need others to fill the emptiness, huh? Let me tell you, this is a big day for all of us and our fans. I really did miss them and even them, being annoying."

Some girls acted confused as they were ordered to do so. There are others who are shaking as if they're nervous and excited.

My eyes then found the boys and saw how Loey and Baron scoffed, while there's a scowl on Nate's face. Loud applause filled the place as Liam introduced their special guests. Some became emotional, though I'm not sure if they're genuine since they proclaimed to be fans of SBG since debut or it's just for show.

I may be judging them a little, but you can't really trust what's happening in this industry. Kung nanunood ka lang sa screen ng TV or phone mo ay may mga bagay kang hindi nakikita sa likod nito. Kahit naman ako, minsan ay hindi ko rin alam kung alin ang totoo sa hindi, unless I read the script of the show in advance, or watch the director behind the scenes. Minsan, hindi rin totoo ang reactions nila, that's just what the director told them to do.

I shrugged the thought away and focused on the boys who were forcing themselves to act as if they missed the three, or maybe they really did.

"Hindi ka ba busy at bawat shoot ay kasama ka namin?" tanong ni Loey habang nakakunot ang noo.

I rolled my eyes immediately, "Of course, I'm busy, Loey. I'm a CEO after all. Still, gusto kong samahan kayo hanggang sa last day ng shoot niyo. May oras pa naman ako para asikasuhin ang iba, lalo na madalas naman nasa waiting room niyo lang ako."

Truth to be told, I have been finding myself waiting in the room, doing the work I needed to do, for three days now. I can't imagine how they're all trying hard to look happy now that they're sharing the same stage with the three. May ilang araw pa silang natitira para mag-shoot, may ilang episodes pa kasi kung saan lalabas sila. The show had to adjust because SBG has other schedules, just like Liam and the others.

"Finally, last shoot na! The torture will finally be over," Nate said, leaning against the sofa.

Umiling ako sa kanya. Parang away bata lang ang nangyayari sa kanila kapag si Nate ang nagsasalita. Kapag kami na lang ang mga tao sa silid, lagi niyang sinasabi na pagod na siyang magkunwari na masaya, at kung ano-ano pang pwedeng ireklamo. We got used to it already. Besides, I'm really glad that they're now back to their carefree selves, unlike on the first day where they're serious and gloomy. There's still tension when Kuya Kane, Liam, and Tripp are nearby.

"We deserve a long vacation," Baron murmured beside me.

"Do you want a permanent vacation?" I asked. "You know, no career means you'll have an unending vacation."

He straightened up and smiled like a kid, "I'm just kidding, Miss President. I don't need a vacation. I can sing, dance, or anything for my whole life!"

I laughed softly when he started to poke me on my shoulder while pouting. I slapped his finger jokingly. "Stop it. Someone's already mad right now," I turned my head to the guy who was glaring at Baron.

Kaagad naman siyang tumigil at napatingin din sa direksyon na tinitingnan ko. itinaas niya ang kanyang dalawang kamay, "Ito na, titigil na. Ang seloso talaga."

Umiling na lang ako at hindi na sila pinansin. Nasanay na ako sa mga biro nilang nagseselos si Loey, but there are times that I wonder if it's true. Well, I don't know and I don't want to know. It's better to take it as a joke and get used to it than to assume.

The boys were called again to prepare for the shoot. Since I don't really have much work to do, I decided to follow them and just watch until the end. Seriously, I think I badly need to visit our girl trainees so that I would also get used to those flirty giggles, glances, and anything that seems to annoy me. Yeah, I should remind myself about that.

"Calm yourself down," Loey chuckled, tapping me lightly on my shoulder. I glanced at him but his eyes were looking in front of us. The corner of my lips formed into a smile as I calmed down.

Hindi ko alam kung paano niya talaga nagagawang pakalmahin ako bigla. Isang sabi niya lang, isang tapik, at isang pisil sa kamay ko ay para bang bigla na lang gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko.

The calmness that I feel in my heart didn't last long as I walked slowly, staring at the two figures ahead who seemed to be busy in their own world. Loey must've felt that I'm no longer beside him because he slowed down and followed my line of sight. Sighing, he waited until I was beside him again and whispered, "Look away, Primrose. Breathe."

Like magic, my eyes looked away from where Liam and his girlfriend were. He was leaning against the wall while she's in front of him, feeding him fruits as if they're the only people in the world. I felt a pang inside my heart. I used to pray for the freedom to be with him in public, just like that.

"Are you not feeling well, Miss President?" Loey asked suddenly, putting his palm on my forehead. His eyes found mine and nodded at me. "Oh, okay ka naman pala. I thought you're sick. Para kang nakakita ng multo."

He then flinched when Dred suddenly pinched him on his waist, "What the hell, Dredleigh?"

"Stop fooling around. Let's go."

"Yes, mother Dredleigh," Loey grumbled, scratching the back of his head.

I looked around and saw that there were people watching us. I realized that Dred just saved us from suspicious eyes. Loey tried to comfort me by showing concern and pretending about seeing a ghost. What an irony, because both of us know that it's what I'm actually seeing—the ghost of our past. I glanced at Liam again. He was looking at me and I hate it.

I hate how he stared at me with concern in his eyes.

That's how he used to look at me whenever we're together in public and yet, he couldn't hold me.

Even his girlfriend turned towards my direction, that's why I looked away and followed the boys. I hate it. I envy her so much. Iyong mga bagay na gusto kong gawin para kay Liam noon pero hindi ko magawa, kaya niya. Hindi nila kailangan magtago. I shook my head because it's all in the past now. My attention focused on the giant in front of me who was teasing Dredleigh. The latter looks really pissed now as he slapped Loey in the back thrice.

I like the present the most.

"And cut!" the director shouted, clapping his hands hard, which I'm sure would hurt later on. "Thank you, everyone, for your hard work!"

"I'm so proud of you, guys!" I exclaimed. "You did a good job."

Hindi pa rin okay ang relasyon nila sa tatlo, but at least, naharap nila ang isang bagay na mahirap gawin. They might be enduring the sadness and pain silently, but they needed this, right? At least now, they know how to be civil with their former co-members.

"Then, do we have a reward, Miss President?" Nate asked.

I laughed at that. "Hmm. Your break for a week will start tomorrow. You can now rest, guys."

All of them cheered loudly, which caught the attention of others. I smiled, shaking my head as they apologized to those people. Sa tingin ko naman ay sanay na rin sa ingay nila ang ibang tao rito. Ako nga, pakiramdam ko'y kulang ang araw ko kapag walang maingay at makulit na SBG na gumagala sa building. Kapag may tour sila, parang laging may kulang sa bahay o sa Empire.

"Kuya Baron, ang pangit mo kanina nung nagulat ko sa pagputok nung lobo."

"Tantanan mo ako, ha! Walang pangit sa akin. Masyado akong perfect, okay?"

"Perfect nga, maliit naman."

We were all walking in the parking lot while Baron and Nate teased each other. Finally, I could be at ease. They handled the show professionally that's why I'm really proud to have artists like them. However, the laughter died down as we saw Liam, Tripp, and Kuya Kane near our van. We slowed down a bit.

I heard Kuya Kane scoff. "It's over now, huh. All those acts saying that we missed these nine greedy men are finally done. We can show our true colors now." He smirked at the boys. His eyes are fierce. "Look how they're close to the new CEO. As always, lucky bastards."

Napahinto ako at napalingon nang maramdaman kong wala ng tao sa likod ko. Lahat sila ay nakatigil, at kahit na sa akin sila nakatingin ay ramdam kong naghihintay pa sila sa anumang sasabihin ni Kuya Kane.

Even Dredleigh looked more dangerous. He may always appear scary, but with the way his jaws tightened, I can say that he's really, really mad now.

"Lucky bastards who don't have to suffer the way we did. After all, they're the favorite members and the most privileged. Mas gumaan siguro ang buhay niyo noong nawala kami, ano?" This time, it was Liam who spoke.

Bago pa siya makapagsalitang muli, Baron marched towards them with his clenched fist. No one stopped him. No one even tried to calm him down as we all watched him punch Liam in the face.

***