Chapter 23

Primrose

Do you know the feeling where you thought you're already fine, but in the end, you realized that you're not? Why do I have to feel the pain again? I'm already moving forward, but why do I need to stop just to face the ghost from the past?

"Primrose, are you okay?" Karl asked. He's staring at me intently, and concern was evident in his face as he observed me.

I forced a smile as I looked up at the night sky, "I'm not, but I'm trying to be." The wind blew as if it was comforting me with its coldness, and as if it was almost enough to make me forget the bitterness inside of me. "You know what? I felt like I was betrayed by my own heart because when I saw Liam, it skipped a beat as if it recognized its former owner."

Alam kong tatlong araw na ang nakalipas simula noong nakita ko si Liam, pati na rin ang dalawang taong naging parte ng nakaraan ko, pero hindi ko maiwasan na mapaisip lalo na't bumalik din lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko noon. Isang taon na mula noong maghiwalay kami, pero bakit nung nakita ko siya ay tila ba kahapon lang iyon nangyari?

Sa loob ng tatlong araw, sinubukan kong maging matatag. Nalaman ni Ate Alice na nakita at nakausap ko ang tatlo, kaya naman pinaalam niya rin ito sa Grand Knights. Ngayon, nandito si Karl para dalawin ako. Kahit hindi siya magsalita, alam kong nandito siya para samahan ako at iparamdam sa akin na hindi ako nag-iisa, kagaya ng ginagawa niya noon pa man.

"You said it yourself, Prim, its former owner, now, the ownership's back to you. Well, you're the real owner of your heart anyway," he heaved a deep sigh. "Don't you think it's time for you to confront your past now? I mean, maybe not now, but when you're ready. I think this is what you truly need, Primrose. You need to let go wholeheartedly, especially now that you're living a new life already."

I nodded slowly, "Maybe."

We're in our mini-garden, sitting on the grass as we have our heart-to-heart talk. To be honest, I'm really grateful that he's with me. Just like what I've said before, he knows my best and worst, and he's still here.

Kung sino man ang mamahalin ni Karl, sobrang swerte niya rito. Kaso, mukhang matagal pa iyon, lalo na't hanggang ngayon ay sobrang dedicated niya pa rin sa idol career niya.

Ginulo niya ang buhok ko sabay biro, "Isa pa, may Loey ka na."

Umiling lang ako sa kanya. Alam ko naman na pinapagaan niya lang ang loob ko, at aaminin ko na kahit paano ay gumaan nga ito sa pagbanggit niya pa lang sa pangalan ni Loey.

I'm also grateful for what Loey did. He just let me cry in front of him without asking why. He stayed until I got tired of shedding tears and decided to call it a night. The next day, everyone acted as if nothing happened. I sensed that they're confused about me and my relationship with their former members, but they didn't pry.

Leigh knew, but I'm sure he didn't say a thing because he'd rather let me answer SBG's question.

Narinig kong suminghap si Karl kaya agad naman akong napatingin sa kanya.

"Why don't you try to open your heart to Loey?"

My lips parted as my eyes blinked a few times.

"What the hell, Karl?"

"What?"

"Seryoso ka ba riyan?"

"Bakit? May masama ba sa sinabi ko?"

I inhaled dramatically, "Seriously, as far as I remember, you and the others were very strict with me. You warned me about entering a relationship with an idol, remember? You even got mad at me when I accepted Liam before, especially when we broke up. Now, you're suggesting that I open my heart to Loey?"

Nakainom ba ito? Napailing agad ako sa naisip ko. Kahit naman mahilig siyang uminom, hindi siya mabilis malasing. Isa pa, hindi siya dadalaw dito nang nakainom! Ano ba kasi itong mga sinasabi niya?

He let out a small chuckle, "Come on, you two are married now. Maybe you'll be able to work it out. And I know it's also a risk on your part, but I'm hoping you'll let someone in your heart again... someone much better than your jerk ex-boyfriend."

For a moment, I did consider his suggestion, but some what-ifs hindered it. That's why I pushed the thought away.

"Karl told me to bring you this one," she placed the cup of iced-coffee on my table. "He wanted to give you that personally, kaso marami siyang schedule ngayon kaya rin hindi na siya makadalaw. Mabuti na nga lang daw at nandoon ako kanina sa meeting kasama ng producer nila sa show, kaya ayan, pinadala sa akin."

Tumango ako't ngumiti, "Salamat, Ate!"

Ilang araw nang bumibisita si Karl sa akin, kaso naging hectic na ang ang schedules niya. Sinabi ko rin naman sa kanya na maayos na ako, eh.

I mean, not totally, but everything's back to normal now. I can't just let the past hinder me from moving forward, right? Besides, he's been with me almost every day, so it's time for him to focus on his work now. As for me, I'm diverting my attention by working hard, especially now that there are lots of artists in my company that I need to focus my attention on.

"Oh right, Mr. Lee asked for my help later, but don't worry, someone will deliver your lunch later. You need to eat even when I'm not here, okay?" she glared at me, which made me giggle.

"Opo, Ate. Hindi naman ako kagaya noon na madalas hindi kumakain, paano ba naman lagi niyo akong sinesermonan nina Loey!"

Nagpaalam na siya sa akin kaya naman pinagpatuloy ko na ang pagbabasa sa mga dokumentong nakalatag sa harap ko. Masyado akong naging tutok sa trabaho kaya muntik ko na naman malampasan ang oras ng lunch. Mabuti na lang at may kumatok kaya napatingin ako sa orasan.

My eyes rolled instantly as I saw him enter my office. Right, if Ate Alice's not here to bring my lunch, she'll basically ask this guy to do it!

"Hi, wife," he greeted with a wide smile. He raised the two lunch boxes he's holding and he walked straight to the center table in my office. He went to prepare our food, and when he turned to me, he frowned when he saw me, still sitting on my swivel chair. "What? Do you want to eat there? I'll bring your food there if you want."

I shook my head immediately, "You'll join me, right? I'll just fix some documents. Wait!"

Bahagya siyang natawa nang makita ang pagmamadali ko. Shocks! Hindi naman ako excited, pero ngayon na lang ulit kami magkakasabay kumain ni Loey. Noong nakaraan kasi ay si Karl lang talaga ang kasama ko kahit sa bahay, eh. Nagkaroon din ng reality show ang SBG kaya naman ilang araw silang nawala at hindi umuwi.

"How's your trip and shoot?" I asked as we began eating our lunch.

He swallowed his food first before answering. "It's very refreshing as if we're really just traveling. It would've been nicer if you're there."

The corner of my lips curved upward, "Too bad I couldn't join you guys. As the CEO, my presence is much needed here."

He scoffed. "Can't I just bring my wife anywhere I go?"

"What's this? Are you being a clingy husband?" I laughed.

After being done with our food, we decided to take a rest since we still have time before the break is over.

He leaned his back against the couch, crossing his legs as a smirk crossed his face, "You just acknowledged me as your husband again, huh? It's really nice to hear that coming from your lips."

I felt my cheeks heated, and I looked away especially when Karl's suggestion popped up in my mind. Damn, what's wrong with me?

"Whatever."

Loey chuckled. He told me about their experience in their second reality show and how grateful they were for it. It's just sad that both of us needed to go back to our work, especially Loey who has a schedule until midnight.

I spent the rest of the day working with a smile on my face. I'll have to admit, the thought that we might work out crossed my mind for I don't know how many times already. I just can't help but be scared that it's not just my heart I'm going to risk but also the bond we have formed between us. Maybe someday he'll find the person he really deserves.

"Primrose, let's go."

Tumango ako kay Ate Alice bago tuluyang tumayo at kinuha ang mga gamit ko. Habang nasa biyahe ay tahimik lang akong nakamasid sa labas ng bintana hanggang sa makarating kami sa bahay.

"Bakit diyan ka sumasayaw at hindi sa practice room niyo?" tanong ni Ate Alice nang makita namin sa sala si Leigh na sumasayaw.

"Good evening, Primrose and Ate Alice," he greeted. "We let the rookies use it for tonight. Malapit na kasi ang evaluation ng mga bata. Puno ang schedule ng practice room ng iba kaya tinulungan na lang namin sila."

Oh, right! may monthly evaluation nga pala na mangyayari, tapos marami pang music show lineup kaya opukado ang mga practice room ngayon. Luckily, the SBG and Grand Knights have their own practice room as a token for their successful comeback and concerts every year.

"Ganoon ba? Sige, basta magpahinga ka na rin pagkatapos mo riyan. Mauna na ako sa kwarto, ha? Good night, Leigh and Prim," pagod niyang sinabi at umakyat na.

Marami rin kasi siyang ginawa at inasikaso ngayong araw. Minsan talaga, mas busy pa ang secretary kaysa sa boss, eh. Kaya I really salute them, and even the managers of the artists! Seriously, they also need recognition.

Leigh cleared his throat, that's why I turned to him as I sat on the couch.

"You okay now?" he asked.

I couldn't help but smile upon hearing his question, "You wanted to ask me that since that night, right? But yes, I'm okay."

He nodded, sitting on the other couch. "I'm glad to hear that. I did want to comfort you, but we have schedules to finish. The other members weren't also aware of the fact that I was part of your past with those three."

Yes, Leigh's been my friend since I was in a relationship with Liam. When those three left their group, Leigh was the only person who still has a connection with them. I mean, they're always in the same events and they're civil with each other. During an awarding show, he caught me and Liam together as we held hands in a corner. I talked to him about keeping what he saw a secret and he was very understanding and friendly that he agreed. Since then we always greeted each other whenever we're in the same event, and eventually, we became friends.

I'm also glad that someone else aside from Tripp and Kuya Kane knew about my relationship with Liam. That's Leigh. He kept our secret, and he even gave me advice whenever we had the chance to talk. He listened to my concerns, especially when it's about my boyfriend, who was now my ex.

"How about you guys? It's not like I'm the only person who has a complicated relationship with those three," I said. He let out a sigh.

If I remember it correctly, this will be the first time we're having this kind of talk since we saw each other again.

He looked up and stared at the ceiling. "Maybe we're good, or maybe not. I can say for myself that I'm fine since it's not my first time after they left, but I'm not sure with the others. They're more concerned about you." He chuckled, turning his full attention to me. "We never talked about what happened in the past, or we're really just not ready to talk about it yet. But at least we're all moving forward, and we're not letting the past hinder us in the present."

I nodded slowly as I digested everything he said. My heart melted upon knowing that they're more concerned about me than their own feelings being affected after seeing their former members.

Maybe, we're really fated to be together, maybe the reason why Loey became my husband and the SBG's here was for us not to feel alone; that slowly, we'll heal together... even those three that were once special to us. Maybe it's time for us to let go fully.

That thought gave me the strength to face what's ahead for all of us.

We decided to call it a night since we both have a busy day tomorrow. While I was preparing to sleep, Ate Alice entered the room and told me something that awakened my whole system.

"A producer sent an invitation for the SBG. They wanted the boys to join Liam, Kane, and Tripp for the show."

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