Faking It - Calvin Harris (feat.Kehlani & Lil Yachty)

     "Refill," I shout, signaling to my empty glass.

I rub my eyes, suppressing a huge yawn. It was nearing 2:00 AM and I was exhausted. Instead of going back the the suite to sleep, I thought it would be an even better idea to get drunk.

Maybe I would be able to forget for awhile.

"You've been hanging around today longer than our frequent drunk fellas do." The bartender, Bea said from behind the counter, attempting to make a joke as she refilled my glass.

I roll my eyes, ignoring her.

Before I could down the drink, the glass was pulled from my hands and I looked at the person with a sour expression.

"Whatever the hell is bothering you, I don't want to see you regularly, so don't turn into one of these miserable people. Got it?"

The bartender narrowed her eyes at me, my glass of scotch dangling above her head.

Her intense green eyes bore into mine, not backing down like I'd hoped.

She was a very outgoing person, you could get that much just from her appearance. Her light brown hair fell to her shoulders, about five inches of the tips a bright blue. She had a silver septum piercing, an industrial, helix, stretched lobe and second lobe piercing in both ears. And to top it off, she had a tongue piercing that could be seen every time she spoke.

"Piss off," I mumbled, reaching for the glass with antsy hands.

After a few seconds of more taunting, she handed over the glass that has become my only relief in hours.

To say I was stalling the awaiting journey home was a major understatement.

"What's got you in such a shitty mood anyway?"

After gulping the liquid in seconds, I shrug carelessly. "Oh you know. The usual cliche mistakes people have witnessed only through a fucking TV screen."

Scoffing lightly, I push the glass further away from me on the counter top. "Well I'll be damned. My life has become a reality TV show."

Bea proceeds to clean the inside of a wine glass with a white cloth, her eyes trained on her task at hand. "Get out," she states without looking up.

I lean back slightly. "Excuse me?"

Her eyes landed on me a second later. "You heard me. Leave. Go home. It was great meeting you Adalyn, but I don't want to see you in a place like this again." She dramatically checked her surroundings before leaning over the bar counter to whisper.

"Besides, it'd be best if you leave now before people start realizing you're not of age." Leaning back with a small smirk, she says, "You wouldn't want me to get in trouble, now would you?"

A fit of laughter leaves her mouth while I roll my eyes, hopping off of the bar stool. "And to think, I was a loyal customer."

Bea scoffs, handing a nearby customer another bottle of beer.

"See you around, kid."

With a raised middle finger, I slap two twenty dollar bills onto the counter and trek to the door, inhaling sharply.

I didn't realize it was starting to drizzle until I saw the damp sidewalks and felt the soft splatters of rain droplets--almost mist like hit my face gently.

I inhaled the earthy fragrance as I started to take the route back to the suite, at a slow pace.

I wasn't too worried about creeps, especially this late at night because I had a pocket knife tucked safely in the side of my boot, and a set of hands that have managed to break someone's nose and jaw before.

I guess the saying, the more you practice the better you will become is indeed accurate.

Plus, it helped that even though it was so early in the morning, there were still a few people walking the streets.

After stopping at the end of the sidewalk, waiting for the cross walk sign to change, I pulled out my phone and blinked rapidly.

Twenty-six missed calls. A vast majority of them from Kat, and I grew irritated when Preston's name was sprinkled into the mix.

Why the hell did I even have his number and vise versa?

My heart plummeted to my feet when another name stood out as I kept scrolling.

Even though I was on the borderline of tipsy, the guilt didn't fail in hitting me full force once again.

It's not until then that I remember what I had been running from in the first place.

Quickly exiting out of the missed calls catalog, I went through my messages, ignoring most of them until I surprised myself when I clicked on his.

Hey, you're probably asleep right now, but I thought I'd let you know I made it home safely. Call me tomorrow love. -Nic

The sound of a honk jolted me back into reality. The cross walk had signaled pedestrians could walk, so I quickly crossed the street, my hands shaky.

It wasn't until I was safely on the other side of the road that I stopped to look at my phone.

I read his message over and over, more tears falling down my face, mixing with the increasing pace of the rain every time I did.

When someone's shoulder collided with my own, I wiped away all signs of vulnerability, turning to glare at the person.

A phone was raised to his ear as he mouthed a silent apology and continued walking.

The moment he rounded the corner, I allowed more tears to fall.

He didn't know. He did not know what I had done. What pain I have caused him until I tell him.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, tucking my phone into my back pocket.

I lost count of the amount of times those two words left my mouth before I was standing in front of the suite.

Bile rose in my throat as I stepped into the dimmed lobby, shaking from the chilliness of the weather.

I would take this feeling and much worse if it meant I would be forgiven. If I would be able to forget.

With steady steps, I decided against taking the elevator, telling myself it would be better to take the flights of stairs, hoping it would give me enough time to calm down and put on a front before I reached our suite.

The drowning guilt never left an ounce of my body as I made it to the floor our suite was on. I came to a realization not too long after.

That guilt I've been feeling all day? It amounted to shit the moment the door of our suite pulls open, revealing a truly distraught looking Katrina. My best friend I've hurt tremendously without her even knowing.

The first thing she does is shove me back into the wall of the hotel hallway.

She closes the distance again, the agitated expression vanishing into thin air.

"What the hell!" She hisses, her voice rising briskly.

I blink at her, too scared to speak.

She takes another threatening step towards me, leaving barely a few inches between us.

Her nose was flaring, her eyes blazing with anger and relief all at once. Her lips were in a deep frown, a crease forming in the middle of her forehead due to stress.

The last thing I expected was for her to show any sign of affection towards me.

Especially since she knew I was ignoring her calls and texts on purpose.

When she throws her arms around me, a relieved sigh leaving her lips, I do nothing but stand there.

The contact made me flinch, reminding me of what a horrible person I am, yet here Kat was hugging me hours after I kissed her boyfriend.

Not even realizing it, I lean back, trying to escape her hug.

I didn't deserve it, no matter how much I yearned for comfort in my best friend. I did not deserve it.

Kat pulled back a second later, confusion crossing her face. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

She proceeded to scan my body for any sign of injuries, but I just shook my head.

She looked at me, her eyes searching my face intently which only made me want to cower away from her stare.

When her hand slipped into mine, I couldn't help the small sigh that left my lips.

"I'm so glad you came back. I was starting to get worried about you, Ada." She spoke quickly, pulling me into the suite.

I still made it a point not to talk. I was afraid I would just break down all over again.

Why the hell did I ever think this trip was a fucking good idea?

I didn't realize we were in the living room until Kat pushed me down on the couch, standing in front of me with her hands on her hip.

"Oh, God! Ursula didn't take your voice away, did she?"

She crouched down so her eyes were level with mine. "Blink twice for yes. Once for no." She searches my eyes, her pupils dilated.

I rolled my eyes, biting my lower lip to stop from laughing. "If that bitch didn't take my voice, why would I need to blink once when I can just use my voice and answer?"

A huge grin spread across her lips when I answered. "There she is," Kat mused, winking furtively.

I mentally cursed myself. She did that on purpose, just like when we were kids.

Her grin dropped a few seconds later, her motherly expression back on. "Adalyn, where the hell have you been?"

Sighing, I tear my eyes away from hers. "Just walked around. Needed to clear my head."

Raising her left wrist up, she squints at the expensive silver watch. "Until three in the morning?"

I gulp, deciding it would be best to keep my eyes shut. Then, I wouldn't have to try to avoid Kat's calculating, dominant ones.

"I looked for you," she continues, her voice much more softer than it was minutes ago. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you didn't just wander around the neighborhood for over ten hours."

Inhaling sharply, I open my eyes. Ten hours? How didn't I realize I was gone for so long?

Gulping nervously, I rub my sweaty palms up and down my thighs. "I-I didn't even realize."

Kat leaned to her full height before taking a seat next to me.

She just stares at me, signaling to explain further.

"I...I went downtown." I don't know why I thought I could leave the major details out. This was Katrina after all.

"Um, I stopped at a pub for a few hours."

Her mouth slowly fell open, but I was only met with silence. "A bar?" She repeats incredulously, like I had just told her I sold my soul for ten bucks.

I bite my lip in response, shame showing on my cheeks.

"You mean to tell me you spent the last ten hours at a bar?" The shock was evident on her features as she stood up again.

Pulling the nearby throw pillow into my lap, I shake my head. "Not ten hours. Maybe three or four..." I winced knowing I had just set myself up for a very long lecture. Literally.

"Adalyn Bell, you fucking bitch! Pres and I were worried sick about you and started assuming the absolute fucking worst after five hours of trying, and failing to find you, and you were at a denigrated saloon, drinking away the hours, not giving a damn about what we were going through!" She was yelling now, her face turning an abnormal beet red.

I held my breath, soaking in every word, yet only truly focused on one.

"We?" It left my mouth before I could use my inadequate brain.

Kat blinked repetitively, falling dramatically onto the loveseat to the left of where I was sitting.

Rubbing her eyes, she exhales gravely.

A few seconds later, she nods, her eyes latched onto my own. "Yes, we. He tried to play it cool, but it was obvious he was worried—panicked maybe. He feels shitty that he was the reason you almost ended up on missing persons flyers."

The beat of my heart remained a rhythmic pace.

"I'm sorry," I said after a few minutes of silence.

Kat smiles weakly, her blue green eyes showing just how exhausted she was. "Just promise me something."

I nod early as I stand to my feet. Ignoring the regret bubbling fiercely in my stomach, I look at my best friend.

"Next time you're upset, come to me. Remember how you felt when Nicholas started smoking instead of talking? Don't use alcohol as your distraction. I kind of know how you felt now. I don't like it."

If it was possible, my heart seemed to shatter even more.

If only she knew what I was trying to forget.

The only way I managed to nod in agreement, and whisper "I promise," was to turn a blind eye on the secret I'm sure would change everything. On the secret that would surely make mine and her world fall apart so quickly, we wouldn't know what hit us in the face.

I couldn't lose her. She's all I have, my best friend.

Just as I stepped foot into the hallway, craving the solace of my bed and privacy, Kat's words stopped me in my tracks.

"Is there anything bothering you? Anything you want to talk about now?"

Ever so slowly, I turn to face her, pain clear on my weak features.

This is it, Ada. You can either walk into that room with that burdensome secret intact, or lay everything out on the table right now. It's up to you.

Biting the inside of my cheek with so much force, I could practically taste the bitter iron like plasma as I opened my mouth, my next words leading me on one of two paths.

"You'll be the first to know when there is." With one last painful, strained smile, I turn my back and darted for isolation.