Holding On - Tourist (feat. Josef Salvat & Niia)

     It was nearing 9:00 PM when Kat and I had gotten back from our midweek shopping spree. $3,756 dollars later, we shoved everything into a taxi and went back to the hotel.

I had spent the most money with a total of $2,285, yet it didn't burn a hole in my pocket whatsoever.

Kat was surprised with the amount of shopping I did, seeing as I usually don't shop at all. Little does she know, I did it to get my mind off of everything that had happened with her prick of a boyfriend.

We didn't talk much on the way, both of our eyes locked on our phones.

About a minute away from the hotel, Kat looks up at me, shifting the dozens of bags in her lap that wouldn't fit in the trunk.

"Hey, I texted Pres and he's gonna come down to help us carry our bags."

My heart nearly stopped right then and there.

Here I was, doing all of this useless shopping to distract myself from him, and now I would just end up having to face him sooner than I had hoped.

Shopping was a bust.

"Uh, Nic can just help us out. I'm sure Torez doesn't want to pretend to be a gentleman right now." I kept my voice steady, my gaze bouncing all around to avoid Kat's stare that seemed to be burning holes into my head.

"No, it's fine. Plus, Nic's not there right now."

Before I could ask any questions, she handed the driver a twenty and pushed herself out of the car.

Well, hell.

I didn't realize we had stopped until someone pulled my door open.

I exhaled slowly when I noticed it was Katrina. Thank god.

She signaled for me to get out, her arms full of a ridiculous amount of shopping bags.

And to think I had double the amount.

I give myself another second, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.

When I stepped onto the streets of New York, a layer of goosebumps started forming on my legs due to the chill in the weather.

There were hushed voices coming from the back of the car, but I couldn't see due to the open trunk blocking my view.

With cautious steps, my best friend and my least favorite person in the world came into view.

It was crazy how they were in a relationship. Together.

Katrina has told me numerous times that she wasn't into the 'reckless' boys. But here we were.

When my eyes landed on the dark haired boy, I felt more goosebumps appear on my arms and legs.

I brushed it off, telling myself it was the weather.

He picked up another bag from the trunk, a small frown on his lips.

He must have felt my intense stare because he glanced up at me.

Surprise was etched on my face when he breaks our gaze that lasted not even a second.

I didn't know what it was, but his actions made me uneasy.

He didn't frown at me. Or smile.

The weight of the shopping bags that started indenting my skin made me come back to reality.

Baby steps, Ada. Baby steps.

I scurried into the building, much to my inner thoughts telling me to take it slow.

Even though I had just escaped the nippy weather, being in the hotel lobby of the NYC Summit Suites felt like a fresh of breath air.

It won't last.

Why is it you always pick the worst timing to me snobby with me?

I find joy in seeing you in distress, honestly.

Oh my god, even my brain hates me. Just wonderful.

It's like I'm in the front row of an over the top comedy from in here. Great view, but I can't say it's worth the price.

You are so--wait what?

I didn't even realize I had made it up to our floor until I was standing in front of our suite.

How is it that having a conversation with my subconscious can distract me, but not shopping? More so the amount of money spent?

It took me a moment, but when I realized I couldn't reach the key card to the suite that was buried somewhere in my purse without dropping all of the bags, I mentally cursed myself.

With an irritated huff, I started to place the bags on the ground when I stopped mid-movement.

"I got it."

My head turned in the direction of the voice so fast, I was sure it would be sore in a few minutes.

Torez, still carrying the majority of my bags, effortlessly plucked his own key card from his back pocket before slipping in front of me to open the door.

A large waft of his cologne filled my nostrils. I immediately took a step back, flinching, a little confused. I-Is that...sandalwood and...smoke?

What happened to the "I don't fucking smoke" bullshsit?

Once again, I did not realize I was in a daze until Kat called my name.

She was already in the suite.

Preston was still outside of the door, looking at me expectantly.

I basically sprinted into the suite, trying to keep the distance between Torez and I for as long as possible.

My heart seemed to fall to the pit of my stomach when I registered the words that he had whispered just as fast as I had ran in here.

"Your note..it was assuring, Dolly."

I plowed my way into my bedroom, not giving myself enough time to dwell on my thoughts and his words.

I needed to see Nicholas. Where was he?

After dropping my bags off in my room, I softly knocked on his door.

There was no response, so I slowly opened it, peeking my head inside.

The room was really clean--just like Nicholas liked it.

Taking a step inside, I scanned the area impatiently.

It was empty, but the french doors leading out onto a balcony were cracked open.

My steps were quick and determined as I pulled open the doors, wanting to see my boyfriend now.

His back was to me.

Deja Vu hit me then.

Back in Tennessee.

The only difference was that our roles were reversed now.

"I thought you weren't here," I said softly, taking a small step towards him.

Right before he spoke, a large puff of smoke floated into the air from in front of him.

"I just got back," was all he said before the spark of the cigarette lit up his face.

I was closer now, almost touching him.

"Oh. Okay." We were whispering--why? I don't know, but this felt like a vulnerable moment.

I ran my left hand along his shoulder, my other looping through his left arm. I connect my hands, my chin rested on his shoulder.

"Didn't know you had a bad boy trait."

He took another puff before glancing back at me, the pungent smell becoming more prominent.

"I didn't either."

I could tell there was something going on. But I felt like it wasn't my place to interrogate him right now, even If I was his girlfriend.

He'll tell me when he's ready.

Placing a quick kiss on his check, I take a step back.

"I'll be in my room. When you're ready to talk."

He nodded, taking a dreadfully long drag of the cigarette.

I scrunched my nose up indistinctively. I hated the smell of smoke.

On my way back to my room a few feet away from Nic's, my mind was going wild.

I don't remember a time when it wasn't really, ever since we got here.

I've been so wrapped up in my own useless drama and stupid emotions that I haven't even noticed or asked how my boyfriend was doing.

This just shows you were never ready for a relationship. Especially with a guy as good as Nicholas.

My heart constricted painfully in my chest.

It was like someone had taken their time to carve out my heart and serve it to me on a silver platter, taunting me with my grisly heart.

I didn't realize a tear had slipped down my cheek until I flinched as the cold drop fell on my cheek.

Here I was, wasting my time worrying on my own trivial problems, totally oblivious that there was something going on with Nicholas. Something that he couldn't talk about because his bitch of a girlfriend acted like her problems were superior to his own.

Quickly wiping the tear away, I closed my bedroom door shut behind me and took a few deep breaths.

"No more," I whispered to myself aloud. "I will not sit here anymore and wallow in my own pity, when really, I wouldn't have any issues if I didn't cause them myself."

Tugging at the ends of my locks of hair, I inhale deeply. "It's time to act like I actually give a shit."

Finally you're getting your common sense back. You owe it to Nicholas. After all, he's been by your side even before you became aware of your own problems. You're closer to losing him than you think, Adalyn. 

* * * *

I hope you're all having a wonderful day! Just a heads up. . .there's ten chapters left guys! If I'm being honest, I kind of end it on a huge cliffhanger, and I think I'm going to add on. The Secret Between Us will be going on a hiatus when it reaches chapter 30(and definitely not because that's as far as I got paha). 

My goal is to (or come close to) completing Diverse Feelings before I (could possibly) continue with this one. That's a whole different situation though. 

Anyways, please leave your thoughts in the comments and vote<3