He should have gone after her, but Bullet had to deal with the mess that Fresia left behind. He had to talk to the police. He had to pay for the damages. He had to apologize to the people who got involved in the accident. And Ernest was right there, watching him struggle.

There were no words exchanged between them. Ernest looked confused. Yes, he does remember him now. He will never, ever forget his face. Pinigilan niya ang sariling lapitan ito at suntukin.

Right now, he needs to find Fresia and beg for her to listen. Alam niyang malaki ang kasalanan niya rito. He won't stop until he earns her forgiveness.

So when everything's been settled, he headed to her apartment. Wala pa rin ito roon. Maybe she went somewhere else. Tinawagan niyang isa-isa ang mga kaibigan nito pero walang sumasagot. Tinawagan din niya sina Felix at Mickey.

It was Felix who gave him the answer.

"She's with Mona," he told him.

"Okay. Thank y—"

"Dude, hayaan mo na lang muna."

"I have to talk to her, Felix."

"She wouldn't listen, Bullet," sabi nito sa kanya. "You've done enough damage for tonight. Let her recover first."

Sumandal siya sa upuan at sinapo ang noo. "May sinabi ba sya sa 'yo?"

"Wala. But she was hurt, man. Ano ba kasi ang nangyari?"

Bumuntong-hininga siya. "She found out the truth."

"You told her?"

"No. She found it from someone else." Damn that guy. Damn that guy for ruining everything. Right when he was ready to tell Fresia the truth, someone went ahead and stole his chance.

"Damn. We told you this could happen."

"I know. Save your lectures, Felix. Alam kong mali ako. Kaya nga sinisikap kong itama ang pagkakamali ko."

"Dude, kalma. I'm not the enemy."

"Sorry."

"Do you want to head over to Mickey's?"

Umiling siya. "No. I have to wait for Fresia."

"I don't think she's coming home tonight," narinig niyang sabi nito. "I'll meet you at the bar, okay?"

--

Magdamag na siyang umiiyak. Parang naging bukal na naman ang mga mata ni Fresia. Hindi niya mapigilan ang mga luha. Hindi na siya makahinga sa kasisinghot. Masakit na ang ulo niya. Mugtong-mugto na ang mga mata niya.

But she just couldn't stop crying.

"S-Sorry... for... finishing off your wine," she said in between hiccups.

"Sus, ano ka ba! Dala naman ni Felix 'yan."

"I'm sorry... for ruining... y-your date."

Mona heaved a sigh. "Stop saying sorry or I'll slap you. You didn't ruin anything, okay? Just think about yourself tonight."

Nakahiga na siya sa kandungan nito dahil sa kalasingan. Umiikot ang paningin niya.

"Ano na'ng plano mo?" tanong nito. Bigla siyang inantok nang simulan nitong hamplusin ang buhok niya. Her former nanny used to do this when she was a kid. Kapag napapagalitan siya, pinahihiga siya nito sa kandungan at hinahamplos ang buhok bilang pag-aalo sa kanya.

It used to comfort her. She found out that night that it still does.

"I don't know." She exhaled, feeling a bit relieved. She closed her eyes, finally giving in to sleep and rest. Siguro magmimilagro ang langit. Baka paggising niya, ayos na ulit lahat.

Sana nga gano'n lang kadali iyon.

--

When Fresia woke up the next morning, Mona made a soup for her hangover. Hindi siya nito pinabayaang mag-isa. Aika and Brandi also dropped by. Aika lent her her favorite stuffed toy.

"Nababawasan ang lungkot ko kapag kayakap ko 'yan," sabi nito sa kanya.

Si Brandi naman ay tumabi sa kanya, yumakap, at hinalikan siya sa noo. "If you want some reasons to hate him, just tell me, okay? I'll turn your sadness into anger. You'll find it easier to move on that way."

Mona baked her best seller cupcakes just for her.

"I'll make more if you want to."

Kinagat niya ang labi, pinipigilang umiyak. Sadly, she's not someone who can control her emotions well. The girls hugged her tightly. Kahit masakit, nakaramdam siya ng saya dahil may mga kaibigan siyang katulad ng tatlo.

"I love you, guys," she told them.

"Okay, tama na ang drama." Kumawala si Brandi sa kanya. Naluluha na rin ito. She picked a cupcake and lamented while eating. "I hate you, guys. You're making me fat."

Tumawa si Mona. "Don't worry, Beh. Sasamahan naman kita sa pagtaba."

"Ang payat mo na nga, e," puna ni Aika sa kaibigan.

"Oo nga," sabi niya sabay singhot. "Are you on a diet again? Mukhang effective 'yong ginagawa mo ngayon."

Mona didn't answer. Nagpabalik-balik lang ang tingin nito sa kanilang tatlo.

"So... what kind of diet is it?" tanong ni Brandi.

Kumuha si Mona ng cupcake at isinubo iyon nang buo. She took her time breaking the cupcake down.

"You know that cupcake will not stay in your mouth forever," Brandi pointed out.

Nang akmang kukuha si Mona ng panibago ay inilayo ni Aika ang lalagyan. "Brokenhearted si Fresia. If knowing what kind of diet you're doing will help her ease the pain, then you better answer our question."

Tumigil si Mona sa pagnguya. Lumunok. Humingi ng tubig. Uminom. Saka bumuntong-hininga.

"Okay... pero huwag kayong mabibigla."

"Illegal ba 'yan?" tanong ni Brandi.

"Gaga, hindi!" tanggi ni Mona. "But this is... totally unexpected."

"Just tell us!"

Mona closed her eyes and blurted out. "I'm sleeping with Felix!"

At first, they reacted as if they're scandalized. Then, they couldn't help but congratulate their friend.

"Kelan pa?!"

"Uhm... weeks ago."

"Are you doing it everyday?" Nailing siya sa tanong ni Aika. Mukhang interesadong-interesado itong malaman. Her eyes are shining. "Gaano katagal kayong mag-ano?"

"Aika!" saway niya.

"I need the details for my story!" dahilan nito.

"Mag-imagine ka na lang. Dyan ka naman magaling, e!" singit ni Brandi. "Or if you want the full experience, just ask Mickey to sleep with you."

Natawa silang tatlo nang paghahampasin ni Aika si Brandi. Nanlalaki ang mga singkit nitong mata.

Panandalian niyang nakalimutan ang lungkot. Pero nang umalis ang dalawa pagkakain ng tanghalian ay bumalik na naman ang sakit. Aika promised that she will come back when needed. Hindi raw kasi nito naihabilin si Elmo kaya hindi nito maiwan nang matagal. Her friend is afraid that her cat will burn the house down.

Knowing Elmo... he can.

Si Brandi naman ay nag-cancel na ng isang appointment. Hindi na raw pwedeng ikansela itong kasunod.

"Ikaw, hindi ka ba hinahanap sa shop mo?" tanong niya kay Mona.

"Kung malulugi kami dahil lang nawala ako ng isang araw, then I'm not an effective business owner. But I am, so there's nothing to worry about." Naupo ito sa coffee table sa harap niya. "What do you want to do today?"

"Mope and cry."

"What about things that don't involve moping and crying?"

Suminghot siya. Well, she has one thing in mind, but she couldn't do it without taking a shower first. Lalo siyang lumulungkot dahil ang baho na niya. She smells like wine and smoke and heartache.

"There is one thing. Pero... pwede mo ba akong ikuha ng damit sa apartment ko? Kahit isang maleta lang. Ayokong bumalik kasi baka..." Nandoon sya.

Mona held up her hand. "It's okay. I understand."

"Actually... get as many things as you can. I think I'll be gone for a while."

--

Hapon na nang magising si Bullet. Nakailang bote rin siya ng alak kagabi. He drank until his body refused another glass of alcohol. Masamang-masama ang pakiramdam niya. Hindi siya makabangon dahil sa sakit ng ulo. Every attempt to move just makes him want to throw up.

"Hindi ka ba magtatrabaho?" tanong sa kanya ni Felix. Hinihilot nito ang sintido. Mukhang masakit din ang ulo. Si Mickey naman ay nasa maliit nitong kusina, nagluluto ng omelette.

"I think I'll just sleep all day," sagot niya. "And what about you? Don't you have clients today?"

"Meron. But I'm already late so..."

Nilapag ni Mickey ang isang plato ng omelette sa harapan nila. Luto na rin ang kanin. Nakapaghanda na rin ito ng kape.

"Matutulog ako. You already know your way around here so I'll leave you two alone. Magligpit kayo ng pinagkainan ha." Pagkasabi ay nahiga ulit si Mickey para matulog.

"You're not going to Aika?" Felix asked him.

"Busy 'yon," maiksi nitong sagot.

Mickey didn't elaborate on his answer, but he knew exactly what's going on. Fresia's friends are there for her, the way his friends are here for him. Naging isang malaking barkada na sila at dahil hindi sila ayos ni Fresia ngayon, hati ang grupo sa dalawa.

He didn't want to get in the way of his friends' affairs, but he was happy that they are here for him. Nabawasan ng konti ang sakit.

Pero wala pa rin siyang ganang kumain kaya hindi siya bumangon. He'll just sleep until he gets tired of sleeping. Mabuti pa sa panaginip niya, magkasama sila ni Fresia at masaya. Fiona no longer lingers in his mind. Siiguro nang lumabas ang totoo, nakalaya na rin ang konsensya niya mula rito.

--

Bullet was able to go home that night. Pinalayas na rin sila ni Mickey dahil magtatrabaho ito kaya wala silang nagawa ni Felix kundi umuwi. Umuwi siyang hilo dahil sa gutom at alak. He didn't know how he went home safely, considering his state. Maybe he couldn't die just yet because he still needs to suffer some more.

Mahigit isang oras siya sa banyo, nakatayo sa ilalim ng shower, hinahayaang pumatak ang malamig na tubig sa katawan, naghihintay na mamanhid.

He felt cold, all right. But numb to the feeling? Not so much.

Pinilit niyang kumain pagkatapos maligo. He needs his strength for what he's about to do tomorrow. Hahanapin niya si Fresia, pakikiusapang makinig sa kanya. Magmamakaawa siya kung kailangan. He already lost a lot. Losing her would be like losing everything that's left of him.

--

Kinabukasan, nagkasakit si Bullet. Tangina, bakit ngayon pa? tanong niya sa sarili. But that didn't stop him from doing what he set out to do. Nagpahinga siya nang kaunti at uminom ng gamot. Nang bumuti-buti ang pakiramdam ay nagpunta siya sa bahay ni Mona. Felix gave him the address. His friend did so with so much hesitation.

When he got there, there was no one inside. Umalis na raw sabi ng kapitbahay. So he went to Mona's shop. Wala raw ito roon. In desperation, he went back to Fresia's apartment, hoping that he'll find her there.

Pero wala ring tao sa apartment nito. Wala rin ang mga gamit nito. Even the teddy bear he gave her wasn't there. If she went away, then at least she took his gift with him. Sana nga lamang ay hindi nito iyon itinapon.

Tinawagan niya si Felix para humingi ng tulong.

"P're, mas madaling hanapin ang taong nawawala kesa sa taong nagtatago," sagot nito sa kanya. "And her friends won't just give her away because you asked."

"Mona might—"

"Mona will never do that. She will never betray Fresia." Bumuntong-hininga ito. "Sinabi ko na sa 'yo, di ba? Give her space. Let her recover. Siguro hindi pa sya handang makinig sa 'yo dahil galit pa sya. At lalo lang syang magagalit kapag ipinagpilitan mo ang sarili mo sa kanya."

"I need to see her, Felix."

Bumuntong-hininga itong muli. "Bahala ka."

Nang matapos ang tawag ay kinontak naman niya ang iba pa niyang kaibigan. Matapos ang ilang tawag na walang resulta, sa wakas ay nagkaroon na rin ng direksyon ang plano niya. It was Cyrus who told him that Fresia was in Wreckville.

--

Dali-dali siyang pumunta sa lugar, hoping and praying that he will be able to catch her there. Nakipagpatintero pa siya sa mga sasakyan para lang makaabot. Pero sinasadya siguro talagang hindi sila magkitang dalawa ni Fresia. Nang dumating kasi siya roon, wala na raw ito.

"I think her friend heard me talking to you," Cyrus told him. "Umalis sila kaagad, e."

Cyrus led him to the wrecking area. Halos kaaalis lamang daw ng dalawa. They didn't even get to finish wrecking everything because they were in haste to go away.

Ipinakita nito sa kanya ang kwartong nirentahan ni Fresia. May mga basag na piraso ng plato sa sahig. May mga putol-putol na kahoy. Basag ang mga flower pot. Laras-laras ang mga kurtina.

But it was the thing at the center of the room that made him sad.

Nakaupo sa sahig ang binigay niyang teddy bear kay Fresia. Its chest was ripped open.