I hung in the tree, my leg hooked around a branch with my arm reaching out for the apple. It was the largest in the tree, and just ripe. I'd been keeping an eye on it for days, and my mouth watered just thinking about eating it.
    
As I grabbed it, the thin branch my other hand was clinging to snapped, and I fell, landing flat on my face on the dewy grass. I moaned.
    
Standing up, I checked myself over, and aside from a scratch on my arm from the traitorous branch, I was fine. What a relief.

I  picked up the apple and slipped it in with the others in my bag. It was a shoddy, homemade one, made out of an old sack, but it did the job.

I began walking back to the wall, so easy to spot from here. Obviously, seeing as it was over fifty meters high and I hadn't gone that far. I was supposed to sell the apple along with the store I'd collected over the week tomorrow, but I couldn't resist though, it had been almost sixteen hours since my last meal, I pulled out the huge apple and bit into it. The juice streamed down my chin, the flavour was astronomical. Wonderful.

The day was a bit too windy, and my elbow length hair spun around my head. Great, tangles.
I listened to the birds chirping and found myself whistling. Weird, I hadn't whistled in forever. It was one of those days, I supposed.

People began to appear as I neared the gate, horse drawn wagons and people with heavy weights on their backs. I felt a little guilty with my light load of apples.

"Do me a favour, huh? Don't tell anyone I was crying." A familiar voice said.

"Eren!" I exclaimed, looking for my friend, there he was, he was looking around, confused, next to him was Mikasa, they both had firewood strapped to their backs. More guilt.
"Kira!" Eren called, seeing me.

"Long time no see, how's the kids?" I asked mockingly. I always called Mikasa and Eren a couple, just because they hated it.

"Hi, Kira." Mikasa said, her face as unperturbed as ever.

"mind if I walk with the couple?" I asked with a mock bow.

There was an angry sound from Eren, "will you quit with the love stuff?"
"Only when I see fit." I grinned but didn't continue, instead I turned to a topic equally as embarrassing; "so, Eren, you were crying?"

"Shut up!" Eren snapped.

"Yea, but," Mikasa said, turning back to Eren, "you don't even remember why? I'm just saying, you might wanna have your dad look into that."

"Right, because tearing up is usually a medical thing." Eren said sarcastically, we walked into the gate and a man stepped in front of us. He had short blonde hair and a small, rather stupid moustache. He was dressed in the Garrison Regiment uniform.
"Somebody messing with you?" The man asked.

Eren looked surprised, like he hadn't even noticed he was there, and replied, "hey, Mr Hannis." In a smaller voice.

"Or did you just get on Mikasa's bad side?" Hannis continued with a wry smile. He enjoyed taunting Eren, I could tell by the gleam in his eye when he spoke.

"No! What are you even talking about?" Eren steamed.

I noticed the red on Hannis's cheeks and smelled the ale on his breath, great, the soldier was drunk.

"Ech, you  smell like a tavern," Eren confirmed.

Behind Hannis, three guards laughed around a barrel covered in cards and bottles, one held his up and said, "if only tears were cups of ale!" A wise remark made by most men when drunk.

"Of course." I sighed. It was pathetic, what most soldiers became these days.

"You kids care for a swig?" Hannis asked. This time I heard the drunken tip in his voice.

"Aren't you on watch?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Yep, watching the old gate we are!" Hannis did a salute the wrong way around, with his left hand on the right side of his chest, "thirsty work, playing sentry. Pinochle only goes so far to chase away the boredom. A little nip now and then keeps us all on our courage for a spell. The perks of being a guard."

More like frostbite than a nip, I thought.

Eren seemed equally shocked, but Mikasa kept her face a blank slate. She knew her place. Sadly, Eren and I didn't.

"How do you expect to fight if your so loose on your feet?" Eren's voice rose.

"Huh?" Hannis's face slowly formed itself into confusion, "now why on earth would I have to fight?"

"Why do you think?" Eren stormed, "what if they break though the walls? We'd be sitting ducks on your watch!"

My spine went cold at the mention of them.

"Eren!" Hannis said hastily, "kid, please, use your inside voice."

The guard who had mentioned tears and ale laughed again and stood, walking slightly woozily towards us, "the doc's kid has some fire in him!" He looked seriously at the three of us, "listen, the only thing they've done for the past hundred years is scratch at it, I have a feeling that if they got their big heads to do something else, we'd be more than ready for them."

"A feeling?" Eren yelled, "what have any of you actually done to be ready for them? Dad says you've got to stay sharp!"

"Ah," Hannis sighed, "Good doctor Yeager. Ah well, can't argue with a man who singly handedly spared us from the plague." He leaned closer and we all took a step back, "thing is, he's talking about his scalpel, what we do isn't half as important." Hannis looked back, "hey, no disrespect to your father, but a soldiers time beyond the wall kinda puts it into a different perspective: You see them groping around out there, mindless, dead-eyed..."

How wrong was he, I shook my head, I didn't like the memories this conversation was bringing up.

"Wait a minute," Eren's eyes widened, "It sounds like you don't even think they're all that dangerous."

"Eh," Hannis said offhandedly.

Erne gasped, "oh great!" I exclaimed, "then at least have the Decency to stop calling yourselves a Garrison, people might get the wrong idea!"

Hannis chuckled, "good point! Look at it this way, though. If a Garrison's actually doing what people think it oughta we're up a creek. Personally I take a lot of stock in being called a freeloader, means things are good. It's how I can measure peace of mind."

Eren's hands became fists, this was only making him angrier. "Good? We live in a cadge! All we do is eat and sleep, that's it, end of story. We have the peace of mind of livestock!"

There were splutters of laughter from the Pinochle table, "you were right about the kid having fire!" A second man said.
"Careful not to cry it out," one called through tears of laughter, so drunk anything seemed hysterical, "you coming back to the game or what?"

"Yea," Hannis replied, I quickly darted forwards, Eren and Mikasa following me. It was a few seconds before Hannis noticed we weren't where he'd last seen us, "hey, where're you going?" He asked. We didn't turn around.

The three of us slowly made our way up the street, Eren and Mikasa slower because of the weight they carried, they reached the top, and Mikasa spoke, "Eren, you should let this scout regiment thing go,"

Eren and I turned to her, "seriously? Why does everybody think they're a joke?" Eren asked.

"What people think about them isn't really the issue."

I was about to back Eren up, to say that I was joining the Scout Regiment too, but bells suddenly rang around Shiganshina. From the Church.

"Perfect timing!" Me and Eren cried.

"They're back! if we hurry we can make it" I began sprinting down the hill.

I found a stack of boxes behind the crowd and waved at Eren and Mikasa when they caught up, "over here!" I called.

We stood on the boxes and watched the Scouts coming through the street.

There was the Captain in the front, flanked by two officers, they all had their heads down. That didn't bode well.
He turned his head and spotted us three, Eren gasped, so excited it seemed he would burst. The Captain looked down, almost ... Guilty.

That's when we saw them. The men trailing behind the Captain. They were all covered in blood, bandages, missing limbs ... It was horrible. The proof of what lay beyond the walls. And they all had this ... Look. The haunted image of what the Titans left behind.

"Sure taken a hit, haven't they?" A man in front of me whispered to his friend.

"Yea, rest of 'em got eaten. That's what happens when pride takes you outside the walls..." The friend muttered.

Eren's face probably mirrored my own, as if our favorite dog had been kicked while it was down.

"Moses!" A cry drew my attention. An elderly woman was in the middle of the road, her lined face clenched with worry.

"Beg your Pardon, but... Where's my son? He should be with you all... Oh please tell me he made it?" Her face showed a glimmer of hope, but... the rest of the crowd, seeing the look on the Captain's face, we all knew what had happened.

"I wish I had better news," the Captain said, his head lowered, resigned, "give it to her."

A man behind him, a bandage wrapped around his head and covering his eye, handed a roll of bloodied cloth to her. She took it and, with shaking hands, unfolded it, and unwrapped a human arm.

The woman screeched and covered the arm, falling to her knees and sobbing. An ache filled me. Why was today so bad? Why was the subject of them around every turn?

"H-he did good yes?" The woman asked through her sobs, "tell me he was brave ... Tell me he stood his ground to the bitter end ..." She looked up, her face a mask of pain, her eyes slightly crazed, "TELL ME HIS SACRIFICE GAVE US A BETTER CHANCE!"

The Captain fell to his knees, eye level with the woman, he lowered his head, we couldn't see his expression, "he was brave!" He spluttered, "but ... His sacrifice meant nothing ... So have all our losses ... It's ever the same ..." I looked at Eren, his face ... There were no words to describe it, even Mikasa looked horrified.

"The day was lost!" The Captain yelled, shocking everyone, "we have ... nothing! Your son died because of me... Because I sent him to his death! I sent all of them to their deaths! And there's nothing to show for it! ALL OF IT AMOUNTS TO NOTHING!" he screamed, tears running down his face.

a soldier pulled him up and they hastily left. The crowd was in a type of shock, the three of us definitely were.

"Uplifting, huh?" The man who had spoken before was muttering to his friend.

"Oh sure," the man, a merchant, said sarcastically, "nothing like seeing our hard earned taxes going towards keeping those bastards fat and happy on human gristle-"
Before either Mikasa or I could react, Eren had hit the man over the head with a stick.

"Gah! What -? You little punk!"

I was all for beating the crap out of him as well, but Mikasa, possibly the only one with common sense, pulled us both back through an alley.

"What are you doing? Let me go!" Eren yelled.

The man ran to the alley's entrance and yelled at us, "yea you better run!"

"Let me at him!" I kicked out at her.

It was another half a block before Eren said, "alright I get it! Stop already!"

Mikasa slammed both me and Eren into a wall. Firewood scattered across the cobblestones. "Great, firewood everywhere! Perfect!" Eren exclaimed, sitting up.

"so, you still bound and determined to become one of them, the scouts?" Mikasa asked.

"What do you care?" I snarled.

"I don't have a choice with you, but I do with him." Mikasa said, it was so hard to tell if she was angry, her voice kept the same tone as it ever did.

Eren was quiet, staring at the sticks in his hands, "just ... Help me pick this up," he muttered.

"Like there was much to begin with." Mikasa said spitefully, but this time I heard the slight edge of worry in her voice. Poor Eren. It was like he had two mothers.

***

We stopped outside of Eren and Mikasa's house. "Well, I'll be going." I said, starting to walk away.

"Where do you need to be?" Eren asked.

"Well..." I hesitated, "home, obviously."

By home, I meant the small caravan-like wagon I'd  purchased with money I'd made selling apples from my tree. It was as close to a home as i'd gotten since ... Never mind. I shouldn't think about that.

"You know, I'm sure we can save some for you, why not stay for dinner?" Eren asked.

I hesitated.

"Come on, you can't live off apples and bread forever." Mikasa said. They walked up the stairs to the front door. "you coming?" Eren asked. I nodded silently and followed them.

"Hey, we're home." Eren said as they walked in.

"Welcome back, kids." Mrs Yeager turned from the counter. She was preparing dinner, "hey, Kira," she said as well, as she spoke she took a fifth plate from the sink. I felt my heart sink. They did so much ... Too much for me.

Eren and Mikasa emptied their loads into a large wooden crate, Mrs Yeager checked it as Eren dropped his in, Mikasa washed her hands and Kira sat awkwardly at the table, "wow, somebody worked hard to keep us in fuel for the next several days," Mrs Yeager grinned.

"Whatever." Eren grunted.

Mrs Yeager suddenly leant down and pulled his earlobe. "Ah! what was that for?" He winced

"Your ear lobe's red, which means you have something to hide, Mikasa helped you again now, didn't she?"

I stifled a chuckle as Eren breathed out angrily.

About half an hour later, we were sitting at the table, eating soup and bread. The soup was so good, a type of family recipe, with sage and onion and liver... Sounded bad, but tasted great.

Doctor Yeager had finished his food, and was packing his suitcase, which was full of medicines and needles. Needles. I shuddered.

"Hey, where you off to?" Eren asked. He was so busy eating it was a wonder he'd noticed anything but his plate in the past five minutes, "a patient?"

"Yes, some folks in the Interior. I should be back in about a week or so."

"Mmm," Eren answered, but he's lost interest, and had picked up his bowl and was drinking the last dregs of soup from it. I resisted the urge to do the same.

There were a few seconds of silence, then Mikasa spoke up, "so, um, Eren's thinking about joining the scouts."

Mrs Yeager dropped the bowl she was washing back into the sink, and Doctor Yeager's body stiffened.

Eren slammed his bowl back down, "way to keep a secret, mouth!"

Mrs Yeager rushed to Eren, "Get that ridiculous thought out of your head this instant young man!" She said, her voice several octaves higher than normal, she grabbed his shoulders, " no son of mine is going to become fodder, do I make myself absolutely clear?"

"Stop yelling at me!" Eren snapped.

"Don't you dare-" Mrs Yeager screeched, but Doctor Yeager interrupted, "it's a nightmare, Eren."

They all turned to him, "the outside, you really have no idea."

"Yea? I get it OK?" Eren countered, "but it's gotta be better than this life! I'm not stupid, I know it's ugly out there, I know there's death around every corner. But ... We can't just give up on it, cause otherwise this nightmare's never gonna end!"

I shouldn't be here. This wasn't something I should be intruding on.

Doctor Yeager seemed to pause, thinking something over to himself. "I see," he stood up, "excuse me, I'll be late for the fare." He put on his hat and walked toward the door.

"Darling, wait! Scold the boy, for Heaven's sake!" Mrs Yeager rushed to him.

"Scold him? Dear, please, think this through. Mere words won't hold back the boy's curiosity." He turned to Eren, "Eren, behave while I'm gone and I'll let you in on what I've been doing in the cellar," he pulled out a key that was hanging from his neck, "agreed?"

"Yes sir! You got it!" Eren exclaimed, his entire attitude changed.

He rushed outside and they followed, watching him leave, "have a good trip!" Eren called. I rolled her eyes.

"Uh, thank-you, Mrs Yeager, for the food." I bowed, "I should be going now."

I'd barely gotten a few steps forward when Mrs Yeager turned to Eren, "I meant what I said."

"What?"

"The whole idea is just irresponsible."

"Huh? Irresponsible? So what, it's more grown up to settle for living in fear behind some stupid wall your whole pointless life?" Eren turned and ran past me. "Eren!" I looked back at Mikasa and followed after him.

I was faster than him, but Mikasa was even faster, we both flanked him, following him for at least three blocks. We turned a corner and I almost stumbled when I spotted Armin, he was pushed up against a wall with one of the rich kid bullies holding him there. Eren only sped up, "Back off!" He yelled.

The kids turned and laughed, but after a few seconds their eyes focused on Mikasa and their faces switched from red to white. "Run! Just run!" I heard one yell, and they did so, with much screaming and running.

"That's all it takes, one look! I'm just that scary." Eren grinned, I rolled my eyes, like he needed the ego boost. Ever since the day Mikasa, Eren and I had met, the three of us had grown way past what most kids were until at least adulthood, but through some cruel twist of fate, Eren had managed to keep his bratty side. Yay

"Well, one of you is." Armin said. He tried to stand but stumbled once he put pressure on one ankle. He had a rather weak figure that came from all his hours looking for books in dusty libraries, that, coupled with the blonde hair and blue eyes that made him look slightly cherubic, meant he was a walking punching bag in the eyes of most insecure bullies.

"Where'd they get you, Armin?" I asked, holding out my hand.

Armin looked at it, then stood up by himself, I could see the pain in his face. He was trying to act tough. I sighed.

"It's alright. Thank you." Armin muttered

***

"All they heard me rattling on about was how mankind's future lay beyond the walls. Doubt they understood half of it but still..."

They sat overlooking the river, a man rowed a boat along, but aside from that there were next to no people around.

"Idiots," I snarled.

Eren threw a rock into the water, "why's it gotta be this way? Why can't people just let us dream?"

"The walls are a powerful idea," Armin replied, "we've survived a hundred years because of them. No one's keen on tempting fate. I may not agree with them on that point but I can see where their coming from." Armin looked up at the sunset. The entire city was basked in Golden light. "It's human nature, Eren. When all's said and done the government's policies are a reflection of our own fear."

"Yea, the rest of the herd, maybe." Eren spat, "I say to hell with them!"

"Someone's gonna hear you two." Mikasa said, her face stone, "keep it down."

"Yea? Why do I care? You'll rat me out either way!" Eren snapped.

"What?" Armin asked.

"I never promised you anything." Mikasa stared straight ahead, avoiding his glare.

"Your folks know about the scouts?" Armin asked.

"Basically, and they're not too pleased." Eren replied.

"Ugh, yea, big shock." Armin sighed.

"Lucky I'm not gonna have that problem." I smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

We sat in silence, listening to the wind, the leaves scattering over the cobblestones, the sounds most don't stop to even consider.

"It's sad, what most people here are willing to settle for in exchange for some fleeting sense of security, you know?" Armin mused. Somewhere, the giggles of a child screaming "mama!" Were heard.

"And make no mistake it absolutely is fleeting. The walls can't hold forever."

I listened, my eyes turning to the wall, where the gate to the outside world would be. This subject again ... It was everywhere. Why today? Why not tomorrow? Or yesterday?

"Only a matter of time before ..."

Armin trailed off. The sounds became quiet. Eerie... No birds ... No ...

A sound like lightning smashed the calm, and a yellow bolt shot down from a clear sky ... no, shot upwards. there was a thunderous crash and everything shook, lifting the three of us up, feet high off the ground.

the clash and thunder was gone within seconds. I stood up quickly. Looking at the area outside the wall ... no ... that was...

"What was that?" Eren exclaimed.

"I don't know ..." Armin said, perplexed.

"It came from over there!" I whispered, pointing towards the gate.

Armin began running forwards, Eren and Mikasa followed.

"No!"  I yelled. They shouldn't be running towards it. They should be running away! Why isn't everybody screaming? Are they all stupid? Run! RUN!

But I ran after them, I had to warn them, I had to... Or ... What if ... No! If it saved lives, who cared how I knew what I knew.

"No! Guys!" I ran towards them, adrenaline pumping in my heart.

"What was that? Some kind of explosion or - " Eren stopped as he looked up.

"Guys! We need to run, now - " I froze as I followed their line of vision.

A huge, red hand had clamped over the top of the wall. The echoes of crumbling rock and mortar thundered throughout the City.

"Oh god ..." I whispered.

A terrified silence held us immobile. "Impossible. That wall's over fifty meters high ..." Armin muttered.

The head of a Titan, red and made only of muscle, no skin, rose it's head and looked at them over the wall.

"It's a titan..." Eren whispered.

Not any titan ... That titan ... The lightning... It was like ...

Like me...

... No. There was a reason it was here. We had to go, we had to run!

"We need to go! Eren! Armin! Mikasa!" I screamed. They fell on deaf ears.

And then there was a crash. Louder than the thunder, louder than the earthquake. Dust billowed everywhere, stones flew and crushed people, crumbled houses.

"It blasted a hole through the wall ... Like it was kicking a rock ..." Armin fell to his knees and I pulled him back up instantly. People finally seemed to wake up and begin running, screaming like they were supposed to do years ago when they saw the lightning.

All except Eren and Mikasa. Eren walked forwards as a man behind us was squashed by a broken tower. Armin and I tried to pull him back.

"Our house is in that direction..." Eren almost seemed to talk to himself, "mom's all by herself ... " He began running.

As soon as Mikasa heard this, she bolted forwards after him.

"I'll go after them, you run, Armin." I yelled and sped forwards. Dodging the people screaming and yelling.

We'll all be killed ... If we don't get out ... Every last one of us ... I thought as I ran. I needed to be faster.

In front of me, Eren and Mikasa turned the corner, and so did I - and saw a giant boulder sitting on the ruins of the Yeager house. I stopped. No ... No ... I took a few steps forward, then broke into a sprint. NO!

"MOM!" Eren screamed. I stopped meters from them. Mrs Yeager was lying under a beam of wood. She looked up, said something faintly. Eren and Mikasa stood on either side and tried to lift the entire roof off of her. It was impossible.

THUD... THUD... THUD... THUD.

Titans entered the breach, I froze. No. No. Why? I had to do something. I had to -

I pulled the knife out of my satchel. It was strong steel with a gold and dark oak handle. My prized possession. And what I used when I needed to ... Transform.

Eren and Mikasa doubled their efforts. I needed to help them. But ... What good would it do? I could only lift the roof up if ... But ... What if it led to my death? Was ... Was it worth the risk?

"Eren! Just take Mikasa and run!" Mrs Yeager screamed, "NOW!"

"I WANT YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING!" Eren yelled back, "BUT FIRST I NEED YOU ON YOUR FEET!"

The roof actually lifted, before falling again. If ... But I ... I had to do it! I had to! I put the knife to my arm ... But ... No! Why couldn't I decide?

A fifteen meter titan turned the corner, a huge grin on it's hideous face, and walked towards us, slowly.

A zipping sound came behind me and I turned, it was Hannis. Mrs Yeager yelled something, I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear anything. Just my heartbeat ... And the sound of the titan's footsteps. They beat at the same time... So alike... The knife at my wrist ... Could I? Can I? I must ... But I can't ...

Hannis had a comforting smile on his face as he talked, he stood up and drew his blades, the smile still plastered on. Didn't he understand? He couldn't. He'd die. The look the titan gave him meant that. He wasn't skilled enough. He'd spent the afternoon drunk, for gods sake ... Only I could... Could I? Would it even work after all this time? Would I just end up killing Myself?

Hannis ran towards the beast, but before he could reach it he stopped. He froze, I saw him start to shake, then he turned back and scooped up Eren and Mikasa, Eren screamed, but I still couldn't hear.

I backed away and Hannis ran past me. My eyes on the Titan. I looked down at the blade. Now or Never ...

My blood pounded behind my right eye, producing a headache. Now or Never ...

The blade shook and sliced a layer of skin, not deep enough to bleed. Now or Never ...

I turned and ran, slipping the knife into my bag.

Eren was screaming and I was crying. They were running ... I knew that ... I looked back and saw the Titan lift Mrs Yeager up... I could still do it ... Maybe it wasn't too late ...

The titan pulled at her, and she went limp. It'd killed her. It'd killed her ...

It lifted her into it's mouth, and after placing her in, bit down hard.

Blood flew everywhere. Falling like red paint. Almost ... Beautiful ... It splashed and the sound of Eren's screams broke my ears. My fault ... My fault ... I could have saved her ... Why? Why hadn't I? I was a coward. Eren shouldn't be screaming at Hannis, he should be screaming at me ...

Eren was right.

Home was a pen.

And Humanity?

Cattle.