- Friday, September 15th -

Jaimie seems lost at what to do; follow, or stay behind. He's frozen in his spot and I guess he decided not to intervene with an angry Finnley.

"Let me go!" I try to pull my wrist from his hold but damn is this boy strong. "You don't have a right to be jealous!" I call out. "You got Oliver."

"Oh, shut up!" He yells back, still pulling me further, even though we're outside already. He pulls me past the security and through the exit of the outside area.

"Finn, where the fuck are we going?" I call out, still failing to free myself. His nails are digging in my skin, making this even more painful.

He yanks me forward, making me stumble and nearly fall down, as soon as we rounded a corner of an alley. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?" He pushes me in anger. "Why are you kissing Jaimie!?"

"Because..." I shrug. "Just... Who the fuck are you to ask me what I'm doing? You're all over Oliver and now you're telling me I'm not allowed to kiss Jaimie?"

"No, you can't!" He snaps in anger, pushing me again. "This isn't about me, Cris. Stan really, really likes him! You can't go behind his back and kiss Jaimie without being seriously in love with him."

"Who says I'm not in love with him!?"

"Are you?"

"Maybe I am."

Finnley rolls his eyes, before he pushes me again, this time my back hits a wall. His eyes flicker down towards my lips and like always, he's subconsciously licking his own. His hair is less messy then I'm used to and he's actually not wearing one of the flannels right now, but a hoodie I wore when he was missing. Damn does it look good on him. All I wanted was getting my mind off of him. This is not helping, this is not helping at all. All I want to do right now... is kiss him.

I grab his collar, pulling him closer, connecting my lips with his. He's quick in responding, deepening the kiss instantly, taking over control.

Oh my god, why did I do that? I know I can't push him away even if I want to. Not while his hands are under my shirt, touching skin, causing my body to catch on fire.

His body is touching mine in nearly every spot now, his arms around my waist holding me close to him. His tongue playing with mine.

I moan into his mouth, our breaths mixing. My hands got a mind of their own, because even though I'm thinking that I should push him away, all I do is put an arm around his neck, grabbing his hair with the other. I buck my hips forward, creating a friction that is causing us both to moan.

I pull away, only to kiss the skin on his throat. He throws his head backwards and moans a little louder.

"Cris..." He mumbles in desperation, his voice sounding weird. "I just wanted to make a point..."

"What point?" I whisper with my lips still touching his skin. Oh, his sweet, sweet skin. I want to taste more, I want to taste all of it. Damn it, why can't I just forget about him instead of getting myself in this position each and every time?

"You don't like Jaimie..."

"No, I don't." I chuckle, before I make a move to switch positions, but he claws his nails in my back right before I push him against the wall. I whimper out, causing him to switch us back, pushing me against the wall, his arm against my chest just like he did when we were in the bathrooms in school.

"Then stay away from him." He hisses in anger. "And stop using everybody for your own pleasure." He pushes a harder, making me groan, before he starts to walk away from me.

"Finn, what the hell!" I yell, before I grab his wrist. "You can't keep doing this!" I shout, yanking him back to me. He stumbles and hits the wall. The side of his head scraping against the stone wall in the sideway-move he made caused by the force I used to pull him back into the alley.

"The fuck!" He grabbed his face, slumping down to the ground. "Can't do what, Cris?" He cries out.

"O my god, I'm so sorry!" I kneel down, cupping his face, inspecting the damage. There's a nasty scratch on the right side of his eye. "I didn't mean for that to happen..."

"Well, it happened," He sighs deeply, leaning his face into my hand. "What are we doing, Cris?" His voice is a sad whisper. "We used to be the best of friends."

"We stopped talking," I mutter watching how he closes his eyes, still leaning his head into my hand. At least he's letting me touch him for over three seconds without pushing me away. I take in a deep breath, before I sit down next to him, leaning against the wall. I cross my ankles in front of me.

"So, what was your answer?" He still sounds sad and it breaks my heart.

"What answer?" I turn my head to look at him.

He's touching the scratch with a finger, hissing softly. "Your biggest mistake."

"I'm not gonna answer that." Because I don't want to answer it, because it might ruin the whole moment.

"Why not?"

"I'm not certain about the answer yet."

"Not sure, after two weeks of thinking?" He smirks, before he sighs and leans against me, his head on my shoulder.

"If you could redo one thing, what would it be?" I smile wearily because he's seeking physical contact on his own terms, which makes me feel happy.

"You can't ask a question without answering one." He chuckles nonetheless, making me smile. "I would have never slept with Emma."

Don't get me wrong, this fact has been mentioned before casually, by Emma. But never have I heard Finnley admit that he actually slept with Emma. God, even that fact makes me jealous and I know he never felt a thing for her. "How did you do that? If you're not into girls at all? I mean, get turned on?"

"My turn for a question. Jeez Cris, in the months we haven't talked, you got greedy."

I can't help but laugh a little. I haven't felt this good in quite a while. Just sitting around, talking about stuff with Finnley, without fighting off course. Just really connect with him on a friendly level.

"Do you still stand for the things you said?"

"I've said a lot of things."

"The time you said you never wanted to see me again." His voice is back to sounding sad and when I look at him, I notice a tear escaping his eye.

"Finn..." I murmur, pushing his face upwards so that he's looking at me. "I was really angry and I should've never said any of those things."

"But you said them, right? So, you must at least think about me that way a little." He huffs, pushing my hand away, sitting back up.

"No, Finn, I don't..."

"Every lie holds a part of the truth." He got up from the ground, staring down on me. "Either you told me exactly what you think of me, or you lied about it, but it still was part of the truth."

"No, Finn, don't walk away..." I watch as he stepped backwards. "Can we please talk about it? I want to explain why I said those things."

"Like I wanted to explain why I did those things, right before you called me a cheap whore?" He snaps, the conversation taking a turn for the worse.

How did a decent conversation like we had end up in an argument like this?

"Forget it Cris. Because you said some really messed up things and I keep falling for this shit. I keep letting you kiss me, talk to me. But really, I just want to forget about you, okay?"

"Then you should stop cornering me. Because you know what?" I jump up and watch at him in anger. "I can't resist you. I do want to forget about you too, but I can't! I want all of you, broken or not. So, if you want me to-nhug..." He kind of attacks me with a kiss that's way more heated than any of the kisses we shared before. He pushed back up against the wall, both of his fists full of fabric from my sweater.

I pull him closer, even if that is practically impossible, my arms around his neck, messing up his hair. He bites down in my lips, making me whimper in pain.

It's like he's putting all of his anger in this kiss, but it makes it that much hotter. It's turning me on in no time and it only takes seconds before I switched our places - this time succeeding - and start kissing the soft skin under his ear, which I know turns him on.

It's noticeable as soon as he bucks his hips forward, pressing his hard member against mine, making me gasp. He curled a leg around mine, moving his hips, rubbing his member against mine over and over again. His hands are all over me now, and mine all over him. My lips find their way back to his, initiating another heated kiss.

"I want you so bad." I mutter against his lips in a desperate state. My hands made their way down to his jeans, unbuckling his belt because I can't stand to not touch him there any longer. I know we're in some alley and people could walk in on us any moment, but I stopped caring as soon as I felt how turned on he is. I unzip his pants, sliding a hand in his jeans and boxers.

He moans loudly as soon as I cup him, throwing his head back against the wall with his eyes closed. I'm doubtful for a moment, still realizing we're outside, but I know what he feels like right now, because I'm in the same state. And damn do I want to pleasure him.

I pull up his hoodie and t-shirt, drooling over his hot body right here in front of me, enchanting me with his beauty. I lower down slowly, trailing kisses over his chest, nipping at his nipple, pushing his jeans down just far enough to take out his member, when he pushes me away pretty hard.

"Stop it!" He yells full of shock, staring at me with wide eyes.

I fell on my butt, staring at him in just as much shock because he's crying and I don't know what happened.

"I said stop..." He whispers with a broken voice, zipping himself back up before he runs away, leaving me behind feeling shocked and confused. What the hell just happened? I never heard him saying I should stop.

* * * * *

I stayed in the alley until I collected myself enough, still confused about what happened. Cursing myself because I made him cry and I let him run away without clearing the air; without finding out what it is I did to make him cry.

It gave me the shittiest feeling ever, mostly because before, whenever he left because he was mad or crying, at least I knew what I did to cause it. But now I'm truly lost in what went wrong. One second he's all over me, grinding against me and kissing me with that much energy, right before shouting he wanted me to stop, running away crying.

I started to look for him, because really all I want right now is to find him and make sure he's okay, but I can't find him anywhere.

I can't find Stan, Jaimie or Nathan anywhere. I can't find anyone I know. No Felix, no Sam, nobody. I figure they either went home, to another club, or they're looking for me.

Nathan wouldn't go home without me, because we had a deal. He would stay until I was ready to go, to make sure I wouldn't get in trouble because of a headache.

I try calling both Stan and Nathan, the latter answering after three calls.

"Where are you!?" He calls out. "I've been looking all over the place."

"I'm in front of the VIP area. I was looking for Finn..."

"Finn?" He sounds weird. "Finn went home. He was crying, he snapped at some guy to leave him alone and took off on his bike."

"Oh..." I feel a weird stirring in my stomach, nauseating me a little. He's crying because of me and he left on his own? That got me worried, even though I'm sure he knows how to take care of himself.

"Can you come outside? Stan got sick because he's drunk and isn't allowed back in. I'm here with him and Jaimie."

"I'm on my way." I mutter, wondering what happened in the time I was outside with Finnley, or looking for him all over the place. Stan never drinks that much that he gets sick. Now I almost know for sure he saw Jaimie and I kiss, causing him to drink too much because I guess he really likes Jaimie more than I thought he did.

I hurriedly make my way out, a little scared because I guess if Stan did see us, he might be mad right now.

They're a couple of meters away from the premises of the club, Stan seated on the ground, leaning against a wall with his eyes closed, breathing heavily. Jaimie is crouched down in front of him, talking to him, while Nathan is looking right at me. I walk past the security and away from the club once more, about to join them, when I get pushed from the side.

"What did you do to him?" Oliver sounds pissed and I tumble sideways, nearly losing balance. "What did you do!?"

"What are you talking about?" I slap away his hands as soon as he tries to push me again.

"Finn, what did you say to him this time?" Oliver isn't just mad, he's about to throw punches, I can tell. His whole posture is full of aggression. "I told you to stay away from him!"

"I didn't do anything!" I shout back, noticing both Jaimie and Nathan hurrying in my direction. "I don't know what happened, okay?"

"Oh, you did something and you know it!" Oliver shouts.

"Hey, calm down." Jaimie holds his hands up in surrender. "You don't want to start fighting. They're about to call the cops." Jaimie gestures towards the security, who are looking in our direction with caution.

"You're lucky." Oliver hisses. "If I ever see you go near him again, I'll kill you."

"Hey." Jaimie snaps at him, stepping in between us. "If you ever even dare to point as much as a finger in his direction you will be sorry, you hear me?"

"Okay, cut it out." Nathan pulls me away from Oliver, grabbing Jaimie by his wrist. "We're leaving."

"Yeah, right." Oliver sneers. "Leave, let me solve the fucking problem."

"What do you expect me to..."

"Don't respond." Nathan grumbles, pushing me towards Stan. "I'm gonna go get us a cab. Make sure Stan is able to get in a car."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't care, just fix what you caused."

"Fix what I caused?"

"You kissed Jaimie," he snaps, before he walks away. Now even Nathan is pissed at me and I feel like I pissed of the entire world in just one night.

Great, Cris, just great. You made Finnley cry, you hurt Stan, you pissed of Nathan. And what did you get out of it?

Nothing. Absolutely freaking nothing.

______________

Please consider supporting me via KOFI or PATREON. All upbringing in the months March and April will be donated to research for COVID-19. The links to my pages are in my 'about me'! Thank you in advance!