- Thursday, November 2nd -

"Your least favourite food." Finnley throws a bit of popcorn in the air, catching it with his mouth casually. He's on the couch, laying on his back with his legs on my lap. Nathan and Sam are on the other couch, focussing more on a game on the PS4 then on us.

"Brussels sprouts, definitely." I cringe at the thought of having to eat those ever again. "You favourite drink."

"Depends on the time and day." He sends me an amused look.

"Alcoholic. Since you've started drinking and I guess you've been drunk a lot over the past few months." I smirk in his direction. "You never drank alcohol."

"Well, once, and then I kissed you while you were drunk too and you didn't remember the day after and I thanked our favourite imaginary friend."

"I've heard this story before." Nathan chuckles. "Finn was completely freaking out over his own stupidity, thinking he ruined his friendship with you and all you could talk about was how Janet hated you for getting in between her and Finn."

"I still do not remember that kiss," I admit with a laugh.

"Bet it wasn't a good kiss then." Sam laughs along.

"Hey, I am a fairly great kisser, okay?" Finnley huffs, right before throwing another piece of popcorn to catch with his mouth. He never fails and I've been watching him doing that for 10 minutes now.

"So, what's your favourite alcohol drink?"

"Jack, definitely." He smirks, repeating my word.

"Jack Daniels? Whiskey? Really?"

"Really." He nods, before sitting up right. "Or, Tequila, because that's the drink that gave me the courage to kiss you that night."

I laugh out louder. "You can kiss me any day, mister Lund."

"I'll be sure to remember that, mister Evans." He leans in to kiss me.

"Please, no PDA." Sam mutters. "I should find new friends. Mine are all gay for some reason."

I turn my head to smirk in Sam's direction.

"Maybe it's a silent hint towards your own sexuality." Finnley throws a piece of popcorn in his direction. "That you secretly jealous I have Cris."

"O, no." Sam cringes at the thought. "Sorry, no offense, but no. No way."

I laugh along with Nathan over the face he pulled.

"Really, I like you guys. I love Alex to death since he's my best friend. I even admit that Oliver is fun, but... all gay." His eyes widen. "Damn, I need to start hanging out with Paul some more."

"Ugh. Ditch that one, please." Finnley mutters, laying back down, pulling me along with him.

"We're not ditching Paul. He's cool." Sam responds with a smirk.

"What's your thing against Paul, seriously?" I curiously look at Finnley.

But he doesn't answer my question, instead he's curled up beside me, pushing his face against my chest with his arms around my waist. "Can we go to bed? I'm really sleepy."

"If you want to go and sleep, be my guest." I chuckle trying to sit back up. Finnley and I haven't been separated for more than a couple of hours in the past week and I've been happier than ever. Waking up with him by my side each and every day is something I want for the rest of my life.

"I'm not going to bed alone." He whines with muffled words, keeping me cuddled close to him.

"I have another guest, Finny." I tell him, looking down at him. He looks up, our eyes meeting. His indeed a bit sleepy, mine amused. "Sam came here to play Rocket League with me."

"Seems to me Sam and Nathan are enjoying their selves without us just fine." He smirks, leaning up, pecking a kiss on my chin.

"Cris, you promised to play the game with me, don't leave me hanging here." Sam smirks in my direction. "If you'll forfeit, I automatically am the best out of us two, since I guess you're too scared to play."

"I'm not scared! Finn, I promised Sam to chill with him for the night."

"I'll make it worth it." He whispers seductively, causing tingles to spread throughout my body, my stomach flipping a bit.

"No!" Sam throws a pillow that he had in his lap towards us; hitting Finnley on the back of his head. "Bad Finn, baaaaad Finn."

I can't help but laugh over Sam's shock-written face.

"I don't need to hear any weird sounds. I'm a fragile soul, spare me the trauma."

"Ugh, you're such a baby." Finnley sits up again, this time settling against the back of the couch, his hand tickling my back until I move because it's causing me to shudder. "It's perfectly normal for a couple to have sex, you know. In case you missed out on that vital piece of life-info." Finnley pulls his hand away from me, sending me a look I can't describe.

"Don't take it personally." Sam looks at Finn, both of them seemingly a bit annoyed with each other for some reason. "I don't like the hear anyone having sex, unless it involves me."

"We're not going to have sex, calm down." I sit up too, squeezing Finnley's wrist beside me, warning him to calm down, because I noticed for some reason he seems to dislike Sam right now and I don't know why. They got along just fine up until a minute ago.

"I'm gonna go home." Finnley pecks a kiss on my cheek before he gets up from the couch. "Should I pick you up before school tomorrow?"

"You're going? Right now?"

"I just remembered I have a paper to finish by tomorrow and I didn't even start yet." He looks at the time before smiling at me awkwardly. "I'll pick you up, okay?"

"Eh, yeah, sure." I nod, getting up from my seat to follow him towards my bedroom. He throws some stuff in his bag, including one of my hoodies, but I don't care, since I already stole one of his too. "You're not leaving because of Sam, right?"

"Now, why would I leave because of Sam?" He might try to pretend not to leave because of Sam, the snappy tone-of-voice gave away the fact he is indeed leaving because of him.

"I thought you liked him."

"I like my boyfriend more, but he's too busy hanging out with others."

I frown, watching while Finnley grabs his laptop from the bed, slapping it closed in an angry manner. "We've been together every day for the past week. Don't tell me you don't think it's enough."

Finnley turns around and shrugs. "That's not what this is about." He pulls the strap of the bag over his shoulder, pushing the laptop in it in a bit of an aggressive way. "I really need to start on that paper." A quick peck on my lips as a goodbye and he's already heading down the stairs and out of the front door. "I'll pick you up at 8! Don't be late." He calls out, right before the front door slams shut, leaving me behind in a confused state. What the hell got on his nerves?

- Friday, November 3rd -

Something is off about Finnley's behaviour. He seems moody during the ride to school. I greet him when I get in the car, leaning in for a kiss, which isn't answered, so I place one on his cheek.

"I had trouble sleeping without you after a week of sharing beds." I chuckle, getting a shrug in response.

"We slept separated long enough, I bet you've been fine." He murmurs, steering the car back onto the road.

"Right..." I slump down in my seat a bit, watching him for a while. He's neutrally staring towards the road, every so often checking the mirrors. "Did you finish that paper?"

"Paper?" He sends me an annoyed look. "Did you really think I had a paper that was due to today that I still needed to write? You know me better."

"Finn, I asked you why you left."

"No, you didn't," he snaps in anger. "You asked if I left because of Sam. Not why."

"Isn't that pretty much the same?" I frown, turning a bit in my seat while we're waiting in front of a traffic light. "Why did you leave? What did I do?"

"Ask yourself the question what you didn'tdo."

"Stop emphasising certain words, I'm not stupid."

"Wow, big word in the early morning." Finnley's tone of voice changed to sarcastic, making me roll my eyes.

"Don't do that." He looks straight at me.

"I'll stop doing it, when you stop treating me like an idiot. I'm your boyfriend. Talk to me for fucks sake."

"You're my boyfriend?" He asks angrily. "Then why don't you act like it?"

"I don't act like your boyfriend? Sorry? What the hell did I do wrong? I've been with you every day. I've been telling you I love you every day..."

"Do you, Cris. Do you really?"

I bury my face in my hands for a second, feeling highly irritated because he's not being really clear what this is about. "I do, really! You know I do!"

Finnley simply huffs, focussing back on driving, not responding in another way.

"What is it Finn? What's bothering you?" I try to keep my voice free of irritation, but it might have seeped through anyway.

"Are you ashamed to be with me?"

"What? No! Why... I'm proud of you! God damn it, Finn, you're everything I want. Why would I be ashamed?"

"Then why do you never ever show it when we're in company of others?" He jams the break rather hard, causing me to nearly hit my head against the dashboard once we're in the schools parking lot. "Why do you never kiss or hug me when Sam's around? Or when Nathan or Jason or your parents are in the room?"

"What?" I stare at him confused. "If I didn't do any of that, it isn't intentionally."

"No, but subconsciously you keep me at a safe distance. Besides, the only thing people like about me is my body and you don't even seem to like that... We only had sex once and now you won't even touch me that much anymore."

"Because this isn't about sex Finn!" I call out in frustration. "I'm not with you because of your body! I'm with you because I love you and everything about you! I love to hear you talk, to see you smile, to watch you sleep beside me. I love the way you scrunch your nose when you're annoyed by someone and how you constantly roll your eyes whenever someone says something stupid. I didn't want you to think I'm with you because if your body, because I'm not."

He covers his eyes with his hands, a little too late to hide the fact he started crying halfway throughout my short speech.

"Finny..." I sigh deeply. "What's wrong?"

"You don't show your feelings at all when someone is around, you never touch me. Yeah, only if I initiate the contact..." He furiously wipes away some tears. "I'm so confused."

"Why? Don't tell me you really think I only liked you for your body?"

"That's the only thing people like about me, Cris!"

"And I like your body too, it's just not the main reason I want to be with you." I grab his collar, pulling him in my direction with enough force to let him know he won't be able to get out of a hug. "I love you, for who you are, not just because of what you look like, okay?"

"But I'm nothing." He mutters, his words a bit muffled by my coat. "I'm a mess and there's nothing else to like about me."

"Stop it, Finn." I groan, cupping his face, forcing him to look at me while I wipe away tears with my thumbs. "You're everything to me, okay? You're smart, you're funny, you're caring. You can be a bit annoying with all the useless Finn-facts. But that's exactly what I like about you so much. You're you and you never used to care what others thought about you."

"Well, maybe that's because before people were always parading me around because I was an honour-student, not a prostitute. They were proud because of what I achieved, not because of how I look." His eyes are sad, tears still escaping every so often.

"Finn, you're the only one that allows people to like you for one thing only. None of us as your friends, or me as your boyfriend, are with you justbecause of how hot you look. We are with you because we like you for who you are."

"Used to be." He mumbles, leaning his forehead against mine. "Because of how I used to be."

"And because we still like you the way you are now, because you're not that much different. The old you is still in there." I tap my finger against his chest a couple of times. "But I think you've build your walls so high you locked yourself in."

"That's a stupid metaphor."

"Tell me it's wrong."

He rolls his eyes, causing me to laugh out a bit. "Finny, I love all of you."

He smiles a careful, half-hearted smile, before he nods.

"And I'm sorry I gave you the wrong idea by not touching you. I really thought I was doing the right thing, okay?"

"It mostly confused the heck out of me, because up until last week you couldn't keep your hands off of me."

"Just, promise me, next time you wonder why I do something the way I do, you'll ask me why, instead of coming up with your own conclusion, okay?"

"I'll try, but lately I feel like I'm not in control over my thoughts. More the other way around to be honest. I feel shitty and ash..." He swallows hard, cutting his sentence short. "Can we talk about this some other time? I really don't want to start crying again and we both have a test in half an hour."

"Okay." I nod slowly, cursing the fact we don't have much time right now because I felt like Finnley was about to really admit things about himself and he hasn't exactly done that a lot up until this day. "Let's just go inside and focus on the test for now."

"Thanks, I'd like that. Not the test, you know... But the... You get me, don't you?"

I chuckle and nod. "I get it."