- Thursday, October 5th -

I'm on cloud nine ever since the date with Finnley; which went better than I could ever imagine. We just sat in the restaurant, eating sushi, talking about sweet little nothings after he told me I have redeemed myself, proving to him I really am sorry for all that had happened.

We just casually walked around the city for a while after dinner, since we both ate way too much of the delicious food. He constantly held my hand, we shared a couple of gentle kisses and it felt like I was in heaven.

It felt like we were a couple.

Which is the only thing that I didn't bring up; the question what it is we are right now. Friends, best friends, dating? A couple? I have no fucking idea, but I was too scared to bring it up, afraid he would turn me down and a great date would end on a bad note.

"You're a fool for not bringing it up," Felix grumbles in annoyance, stretching his legs after the warming up. We're currently out on the field. It started raining this morning and it hasn't stopped ever since. Fall is kicking in and I hate every bit about it.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a little rain during soccer. Slidings are way easier with the field a little wet. But the field is one big giant muddy area that is supposed to be a soccer field. It's slipping and sliding instead of running and purposefully make a sliding to retrieve a ball.

"I was afraid he'd turn me down," I mutter in response, finishing up my stretching. "That would have ruined the date."

"So, did the date have a happy ending?" Sam wiggles his eyebrows. "You know... got yourself some action?"

"Eh, no," I admit timidly. "I wanted to show him this isn't solely a physical attraction towards him, it's real love."

"Gosh, you're turning into a girl." Felix laughs out a little. "But that's good." He nods. "It's not all about sex and you just got his trust back."

"Hey, ladies?" Tyler calls towards us, acting like the captain in Oliver's absence. "Are you finished with your tea? Because we're about to start."

Oliver hasn't showed up in practice on Tuesday and he isn't here today as well. I don't mind one single bit. Finnley is getting increasingly moodier over their fight. Oliver hasn't talked to him since that phone call on Sunday that I wasn't supposed to overhear. He hasn't sat with us during lunch and he's been avoiding both me and Finnley in school.

I asked Finnley what was really behind their fight, but he keeps telling me not to pay any attention to it, because according to him, that's exactly what Oliver wants; his attention.

I follow Sam and Felix towards the rest, stopping next to Jaimie, who was talking to the coach.

In silence, I listen to him explaining the first drill, doing whatever he tells us to do, constantly trying to prevent myself from slipping on the mud. It's a drama and soon we're all covered in mud, soaked by the pouring rain.

Off course, they have to make it worse. We have to lay down on the ground, facing a ball in front of us, get up whenever he blows his whistle and calls out left or right and with or without the ball.

When he does, we have to get up, take or leave the ball and run in the opposite direction he called, sprinting fifteen meters, repeating it over and over again until not only my clothes are soaked, but I feel like my entire body is soaked in both sweat, mud and rain; cold to the bone.

That's when Oliver joins the practice, sporting a black eye that makes both Sam and I to laugh out a little. We have to run three laps because we laughed, but I don't care, since it seemed to piss of Oliver even further. And he wasn't too happy to begin with anyway.

"I wonder if Finnley caused it." Sam is still laughing a little while we're running our second lap, while the rest has been split up in two teams for the next drill.

"I wonder too." I grin at the thought of Finnley hitting Oliver. I know Finnley is capable of throwing a pretty decent punch, remembering the day he beat up Tobias in highschool, just because he was taunting Nathan's little brother Martin. On the other side, I know it's bothering Finnley a lot that he's in a fight with Oliver, because he really values their friendship. If Finnley had to hit Oliver for some reason, Finnley might be pretty upset because of it.

Not even talking about the possibility Oliver punched him too, if they are truly the ones that fought.

Maybe I laughed over this a bit too soon. Maybe I should have thought about Finnley's wellbeing first, before thinking it is funny.

I watch towards Nathan, who is in the dug-out, sheltering from the rain, Stan keeping him company. Nathan wasn't too happy that he had to keep an eye on me during practice, keeping my panic button with him just in case Jeffrey or Ahmed decides to show up despite the fact I'm surrounded by jocks, including Jaimie and his deadly punches.

You can never be too careful, right?

It's the fact I told him if he didn't want to keep an eye on me, I would ask Stan to do it. He instantly gave in and just to push my luck a bit further, I still asked Stan to be here.

I come to a stop in front of the both of them.

"What's wrong?" Nathan frowns, Stan looking me up and down with an amused look on his face.

"Could you call Finn and ask him if he's okay? Oliver is sporting a black eye and they're fighting... I want to be sure he's doing okay..."

"Yeah... sure." Nathan retrieves his phone.

"Cristian! One extra lap!" The coach calls out in frustration, probably because he thinks I'm chit-chatting with my friends.

I grumble in annoyance before I start running again, Stan laughing because of it.

I keep watching towards Nathan because I want him to give me some kind of reassurance Finnley is okay, causing me to lose focus, which results in me slipping twice, ending in the mud with my face once.

Off course, Oliver laughs loudest and he doesn't have to run laps because of it.

I send him a look, not responding with words because I already noticed the fact he's one of the coach's favourites.

"Every time he insults you, or laughs at you, remember the fact he's just really jealous because Finnley likes you more." Sam tells me when we join the team we're in for the practice match.

"I know, but I hate him so much," I whine, stopping next to Jaimie.

I don't know how Felix managed to do it, but he got the coach to put me in the same team with himself and Jaimie, probably telling the coach to give it a try and see what a great combination we are.

Off course, Oliver is on the opposite team and he's constantly around me, pushing me, pulling my hoodie, tackling me whenever he gets the chance.

"Oliver!" Coach calls out. "Knock it off, I need him on Saturday."

"You're such a pussy." Oliver laughs. "Can't even handle a bit of healthy competition."

"Says the one who can't handle a little competition for Finnley's attention. Which is a fight, may I add, you're losing."

"Shut up, Evans," he snaps in anger. "I'm still watching you."

"Keep watching, Oli. And you'll see how happy Finnley is around me."

He squints his eyes in anger, before we're both forced to pay attention to the game again, since Felix passed me the ball, shouting for me to stop dreaming.

With one swift move, I manage to get around him, having a free line towards their goal.

Call me suspicious, but for some reason I feel like it wasn't the best idea to pass him, since he's now behind me. The fear of retaliation from Oliver over my last remark, causes me to panic, passing the ball towards Jaimie, who's on my right side, but covered by Tyler, causing us to lose the ball.

"What the fuck, Cris!?" Felix calls out in anger. "You had plenty of time."

"Right in time, kiddo," Oliver whispers when I walk back past him. "Right in time."

I glance in his direction, catching him winking, before he runs off again, to help his team again.

Maybe I should stay away from him for now.

- Friday, October 6th -

Finnley is fine, although he indeed had been the one to hit Oliver.

"Why did you hit him?" I ask curiously, following him around towards a table in the lunchroom.

"Nothing important." Finnley shrugs, sitting down in our regular spot. "Don't worry, Cris. I'm fine. But thanks for letting Nathan check in on me. That was sweet."

"I was worried." I mimic his shrugging, sitting down next to him. "I had to make sure you were okay."

"I am, trust me, okay? But Oliver and I are history." He sounds sad over that fact. "I'm done with him bossing me around, always getting angry when things won't go his way.

"Are you sure you're okay? I know you miss your friendship with Oliver. It's okay, I get it."

"You do?" He frowns, before he takes a sip from his drink. "Thought you hate him and you wouldn't mind for him to be out of my life."

"Imight not like him. But youdo, right? Or did... Whatever." I turn in his direction a bit, to look him straight in the eyes. "It's not about what I think about Oliver, it's what you think about him."

His frown increases, before he touches my forehead with his hand. "Are you sick? What did you do to Cris?" He stares into my eyes intensely. "Are you seriously telling me this is about what I think?"

"Yeah..." I slap away his hand. "Seriously, Finn. I don't care who your friends are. I'll deal with each and every one of them, as long as Iam your best friend." I grin, but he's still frowning.

"You want to be my best friend?"

"I consider you my best friend."

"You consider me as your best friend..." he mumbles, turning his head, staring down to the table, still a frown on his face. "I can't be your best friend, Cris." He looks at me, now with a bit of anger in his eyes, confusing the fuck out of me.

"I thought I redeemed myself?"

"You know what, forget it." He grabs his backpack again, getting up from his seat. "We're obviously not on the same page, again. It shouldn't even surprise me, but yet it does, again." He's about to walk away, but I hold him in his spot by grabbing both his wrists. "Just... forget about it."

"What did I do wrong now Finn? I thought we were fine. I thought you trusted me..."

"God!" He calls out, lolling his head backwards, groaning in frustration. "You're such an idiot." He snaps, pulling away from my hold. "You're oblivious. As always!" He's already making his way out of the lunchroom, leaving me behind startled, wondering what went wrong.

What did I do, or say, to upset him? To get him angry at me yet again?

I'm too confused and even a bit mad because he left me behind without explaining what it is I did, so I decide not to follow him. Offering him some space to cool down before I will go and try to mend our friendship for the third time in a short time.

I wish we could go back two years. Back to the time we were best friends and every fight we had was solved within an hour. The time we used to be best friends, sharing everything, explaining everything.

But that's not how it used to be, right? Finnley was never completely honest or open about things that bothered him. It shouldn't surprise me that he doesn't explain things, or keeps secrets from me. Because he always did.

And now I'm back to wondering if I really love him enough to deal with all of this. Because it hurts me each and every time to find out he's not willing to share stuff, or holding back things.

Yet, he's always the one to walk away in anger, blaming me for a stupid fight I never meant to cause in the first place.

And I'm really sick of being the only one to apologize for these fights.

He says I'm oblivious, unwilling to listen. But he's just as unwilling to listen to me too.

But who am I kidding? I will always apologize if it means we'll remain friends. I will always try to mend us back together because I love him that much.