Shadows glared at me, mocking me as I stared at the wall. The arm around my waist was warm and tight, holding me close to Kaldur's chest. His heart beat soundly against my back, a steady beat accompanied by the soft breathing fanning over my head. I blinked and sighed, wishing my own would settle. Maybe without his arm holding me, it could've, but that wasn't the only thing fueling my anxiety. Full nights of sleep were forever out of my grasp, locked up with things like standardized womens' clothing and good food in public school. I couldn't get back to sleep, and I couldn't go out as Bluejay, not with Kaldur here. 

I had too much time to get caught in my own thoughts. 

A restless torrent that drew me deeper and deeper until my nails dug into my skin. I slipped out from Kaldur's arm and sat up. Hands, pale in the night's light, sat in front of me. Slender fingers curled. Blankets slid behind me, rasping. I didn't react when the bed jolted, when Kaldur sat up. 

"Percy?"

"Couldn't sleep." 

"Ah," he said. His eyes flashed, reflecting the light from my alarm clock. I returned my gaze to the wall as he took my hand. And I didn't look at him or say anything when the pads of his fingers pressed against my wrist. When he sighed and kissed my knuckles, I couldn't help but laugh. 

"I'm talking to you."

"I-I am aware." 

"You shouldn't have had to check."

Kaldur wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to his side. "I checked the others," he muttered low under his breath. "The logical part of me knew they were alive, that we were all safe, but sometimes, I have the urge to make sure. I--" He cut off. "Can I move you onto my lap?"

"Uh, yeah." 

With a simple move, he pulled me onto his lap; my arms looped over his shoulders. A hum rumbled through his chest, and I cooed. All it earned me, a kiss to the forehead. Warmth spread through me. Content and wanting to fall back into the embrace of sleep, I curled against his chest, head under his chin. He's safe. He's alive. The heartbeat under my palm told me that much. 

Maybe it was stupid of me to focus on that. On something I knew. But it was far better than wondering about the unknown. Gods forbid my mind pick back up on the train of thought I just bailed off of. 

"You really didn't have to ask," I said. I wouldn't have minded if he hadn't. My death inside of it had been bloody, I could only assume his was the same. So if he wanted to hold me close, I wasn't going to say anything about this. Even if it wasn't. I wouldn't, if only because I wanted to be sure he was safe. 

"I did not want to do it if you would mind it, starfish." He carded his fingers through my hair. I blinked and pressed myself closer to him. His solid frame offered no give. "Is that one better?"

"Mhm." 

Our breathing became the only noise. Kaldur shifted, leaning to the nightstand to grab the bottle of water I kept there. Opening it, he coaxed the water out. A soft glow, more subdued than normal, emanated from the liquid, matching the one from his tattoos. There was a sort of wonder in watching him control it in gentle swirls. Even if I could do it myself--

The door cracked open, and light spilled into my room. In the doorway, lurking like Nico, was a small shadow.

"Can I- Can I sleep in here?" asked Dick. A blanket swept across the floor as he took a hesitant step in. Without waiting for an answer, or taking my lack of rebuttal as one, he crawled into my bed, wrapping his arms around me. I looked up at Kaldur; he released me and moved back. He kissed my cheek, much against Dick's wishes. "No kissing my cousin."

I wrapped an arm around him. "He's my boyfriend. He's allowed to kiss me."

"And I'm the small child that gets sent in to make sure you guys don't do anything gross."

I choked, face burning. A thump as Kaldur fell backwards. He covered his face with a pillow, whether it was to smother himself or not, I didn't know. With one hand over my mouth, my fingers dug against my cheeks. 

"I think...you just killed Kaldur," I said, finally dropping my hand. I leaned over, tugged the pillow away, and kissed Kaldur. He made a soft noise; his lips pulled into a soft grin. And when my expression mirrored it, I made no move to hide. I did, however, kick Dick off my bed. Plastic clattered. His body thudded against the floor while I grazed my fingers over Kaldur's hair. Each rise and fall of his chest, that was enough to push my anxiety away. For the moment at least. So I let my head drop to rest on his shoulder. Not comfortable, but good enough. 

The bed dipped, and a small body curled against my leg. A half-hearted sigh passed through my nose, and my fingers kept moving. Kaldur hummed. His eyes slipped closed. I glanced down at his chest. I know he's strong, but would laying down hurt him? Or make him panic? If someone-

"I will get the ruler again," said Dick. My leg was trapped against Kaldur's side. No chance for me to push Dick off again. "Besides, don't you kinda need to sleep too?"

"Between the two of you, I'm pretty sure sleeping will end in me getting kicked off the-" A yelp tore from me. My back found itself pressed against the mattress. I blinked, eyes trying to focus on the moving shape in front of me. No light from my alarm clock to see by, it somewhere on the floor, I could only guess it was Kaldur. 

And it was. The comforting scent of his cologne lessened, lingering only in the air. "I will sleep on the floor." 

"Good, now stay down there. She's too young to have a boyfriend."

"Dick, I love you," I said, patting his head and probably also his face, "but I'm older than you. That being said, it's way past my bedtime. So I'm actually gonna- you know, sleep. Night, guys." Pleasantries floated around the room. Silence. 

Darkness mocked me much as the shadows had, creeping in and slipping under my blanket. Icy cold seeped into my bones. Dick curled against me, head pressed against my arm. We laid there for what seemed like hours. It was only after too long of laying there did Dick sit up. 

"Neither of us are sleeping, are we?" he asked Kaldur in a whisper.

"I doubt it."

I groaned and sat up. "Well, if we're going to be having a stereotypical girls' sleepover-- What are we going to talk about?" Pitching forward, I dangled my arms over the end of the bed. By coincidence, my hands rested on Kaldur. His back pressed against the bed frame, heartstoppingly close to where my stuff laid hidden. Still, he was here. He's alive. 

But what if this is just fake? I frowned, forcing the thought from my mind. It's real. This had to be. There wasn't a reason for it not to be. My hands followed the slope of Kaldur's shoulders, Cloth turned to skin. He tilted his head back. Features hidden by the night, I assumed he was questioning me. "This entire thing has me freaking out," I mumbled. 

"We can go somewhere tomorrow. I would suggest the beach, but your father--"

"We can go get lunch somewhere. Or we can see if I can mimic your water stuff. I mean, I really don't care what we do, and if you don't actually want to..."

"I want to." Conviction filled the notes of his voice. I swallowed, too aware of the way my throat moved, and nodded. One hand covered mine. A soft guide drew it forward, hot breath painted my skin, and then a soft kiss. "Atlantis tends to be quite beautiful this time of year, but I do not--" He cut off. His grip on my hand tightened. "It is probably too dangerous for a visit."

Dick laughed and said, "You're Aqualad. You're pretty whelmed in Atlantis." 

Even in the dark, I caught the way Kaldur shook his head. "Even though my king pretends issues are not present, that everything has long been solved, problems persist. Queen Mera was attacked recently, and many of the perpetrators went free. The only one who stood trial, he received a full pardon. My king may be a good man, but he is far too lenient. That criminal? He was someone I considered a close friend, and yet he considers me lesser. Though I do not know why I am surprised by such a fact, even Tula and Garth have some prejudices against those like me, uh...kisegra." He snorted. "Both say I am unfairly considered one, not that I should not be considered different for having visible gills. They talked to me as if if I had no knowledge of the tensions present since long before my birth. With my king, I can understand. He was not raised undersea, it would be unfair of me to ask wither of you to know the social qualms in Atlantis. You would not see the prejudice in the guards and the upper levels of the Conservatory. But the queen? She has no such excuses. She could attempt to correct beliefs and behaviors such as branding." 

"Kaldur speaks treason at one am, who knew." While it was a horrible attempt to break the tension, it worked. I'd have to give Dick candy later. Kaldur shook my hands from his shoulders.

He sighed, apologized, but did not move. "More rest would probably be beneficial."

"Yeah, if you said this undersea, you might get killed."

"Doubtful. It is not as if Ronal did not support and partake in a plot that nearly killed the queen and her unborn child and emerge unharmed, unpenalized, and with the same convictions he held before." He pressed his palms against his eyes. "If he graduates into the guard, I can break ties completely." His voice, normally steady and collected, was anything but. Pain, suffering, and quite possibly the edge of a panic attack. Things were piling onto him, pushing against the wall he had built for himself and soon it would crumble. 

I slipped off my bed, a frown on my face. "Hey," I said, "Go to sleep. You're getting really worked up." A hand on his shoulder again, I squeezed. Tension wound in his muscles. "You don't need to worry about this. Not here, not right now, not with- Not with everything else. If someone tried to hurt you, you're dating me. Even if Dad is upset, you do get some protection from this." My eyes darted, searching his face until the hard lines softened. Years fell from him, and it took all I had not to let my shoulders droop. I needed to be the strong, stable one. He shouldn't look so much like a demigod. Too much, too little all at once. I cupped his face. Warm cheeks pressed against my cold palms. "You're pretty. Er, handsome. No, both. No reason you can't be both, I mean you eyes are really pretty, like a really nice soft green, and did you know that you have little flecks of darker green in them?" As I spoke, as I rambled really, my words slurred together. Coherent thoughts were hard and getting harder. I blinked, trying to wake myself up. I shook my hands before realizing what I was doing and stopped. 

Kaldur laughed. I smiled and leaned against him, burying myself within the confines of his scent. Arms looped around me. The smile I wore faded away, I loosed a shaky breath, and I closed my eyes. 

Hold it together, just a little longer.

Enjoy the chapter!

Comments are appreciated and I'm going to drink a bunch of apple cider

Which is the best of drinks and I will fight you

See yah