Her back was on fire. The pain was so excruciating, she wondered how she made it to her room on her own steam. Pride, pride had kept her upright when others would have buckled. Pride urged her to place one foot in front of the other.

But now that she was behind closed doors, she allowed a gasp of pain to escape past her lips as she lowered herself face down on her bed. Now that she was behind closed doors, pride had no hold on her, not when even taking a breath threatened to take her under.

She took another breath and bit back a whimper.

"When are you going to learn?" Jenny asked in a harsh whisper.

Lying on her stomach, Sarah could barely hear Jenny's exasperation but she felt it surrounding her. It'd been so from the moment she'd stumbled into the house. Like a mother hen, Jenny had followed close behind her as she made her way to her room, worry emanating from her every pore but unable to do a thing.

"One of these days he is going to kill you." She muttered in that low voice.

Sarah could hear Jenny rummaging through the first aid kit but she was in too much pain to turn her head and follow her movement. Instead she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing and trying to hold the darkness surrounding her consciousness, threatening to take her under, at bay.

Like a dark fog it lurked just beyond her awareness, creeping closer every second.

With every beat of her heart, her back throbbed, the pain digging its claws deeper into her. Even the slightest breeze was like fire blazing across her back.

Her vision grew hazy and the darkness drew closer.

"You're going to get one lashing too many one of these day."

The disgruntled voice succeeded in pulling her back to the here and now but her.

The fog receded, it crept back just beyond the edges and Sarah wasn't sure that was a good thing. The fog had offered relief from the pain. When it crawled away, it took with it the numbness that had engulfed her. Now it felt like the pain was back with a vengeance.

Jenny chose that moment to grab her shirt by the back of its collar and rip it down the middle. The action came without warning. Sarah bunched her fists on the sheet below her as the shredded remains of her shirt were pulled away from her wounds.

She gasped and fought against the urge to curl away from the pain.

"It's going to hurt a lot more than that," Jenny warned. "Are you ready?"

"Just do it," she bit out through clenched teeth.

The first touch was excruciating. Jenny began to apply the healing ointment and Sarah's vision grew blurry. She wasn't sure if it was the tears or the threat of unconsciousness. She bit her lip, drawing blood, the pain and the metallic taste kept her awake.

But nothing could keep her from wincing every time Jenny's healing hands made contact with her back. Fire licked her back; the pain was like a living breathing entity that only seemed to grow stronger.

Nothing Jenny did alleviate the pain.

Still, she held on tight to the edge of her bed when self-preservation urged her to roll away. In a futile attempt to escape the pain she tried to burrow into the mattress but there was no reprieve to be found. A tear managed to escape; it rolled silently down her cheek and to the corner of lip. Sarah licked it away with the tip of her tongue; silently berating herself for the show of weakness.

Halfway through, she could feel her fur rippling underneath her skin and her claws itching to come out. The ability to shift returned a little more with every bit of silver that was removed from her back. The connection between her two halves grew stronger once again; she felt the wolf pacing restlessly within her.

Sarah blew a sigh a relief. Released a deep breath that she didn't know she'd been holding. She'd gone through the process enough times to know what to expect. The effect of such a small dosage of silver, while painful, wasn't permanent but panic still welled up inside of her. It felt as if something from deep within her had been torn away.

Losing contact with her wolf, she imagined, was like losing a limb or ones sight.

She had no other way of explaining it. Maybe because it couldn't be explained; such terror couldn't be described and it couldn't be surpassed or pushed away so easily.

"Some of the cuts have already healed; a couple of them haven't cleaned. I'm going to have to cut them open again."

Sarah nodded and braced herself.

The lashes weren't torture. Having to walk to her room, head held high with drops of her own blood trailing her, without assistance wasn't torture. This was torture.

Having to stay still as barely healed wounds were cut open once again was torture.

"That was the last one." Jenny informed her some time later.

She must have finally fainted. Too weak to do much, she gave a short nod. She opened an eye and watched Jenny wipe her hands with a cloth before cleaning up around her.

"Rest, I'll be back in while to check on you."

"Thanks Jenny." Sarah whispered, too weak to speak any louder.

Jenny humphed, she stopped at the door and looked over her shoulder at her. "If you were really sorry you'd keep outta trouble. One day I won't be able to heal you."

Sarah had no reply for Jenny. She closed her eyes and heard the door close softly behind her. The fog drew closer around her once again and this time Sarah willingly surrendered to it.

She lost track of time. She'd been there for hours but was in no hurry to leave. The fog swirled around, just above the ground. It's color a contrast to the darkness that surrounded her.

She couldn't see where she stepped but she did so without hesitation. The darkness drew no fear from her; she was comforted by the calmness around her and the moonlight. It gleamed past the trees, their branches and leaves.

"Why haven't you come for me?" The wind carried the softly spoken question to her.

Sarah snapped around, towards the voice.

The fog suddenly grew thicker. Dark clouds moved in and hid the moon. The serenity that she'd been cloaked in disappeared.

"Did you forget about me?"

Sarah shook her head and followed it with a vocal denial. She took a step towards the voice and stumbled. Tripped on a branch that she was sure wasn't there before.

"I haven't forgotten about you." She promised as she pushed herself off the ground.

She took another tentative step forward, feeling around the ground with her toe before committing all of her weight. The darkness was like a blanket that settled over her, blocking out all of her senses. There was no moonlight and no sound, except his voice and hers. And when he didn't speak, she could his breathing.

"If you haven't forgotten me, why haven't you come to get me?"

The child's question broke her heart. He was lost and nothing she did got her closer to him. Despair took a hold of her. Adrenaline pumped through her, making her clumsy in her rush to get to him. She stumbled countless times in her attempt to reach him.

His pleas letting her know that she was no closer to him than before.

"I want to come home mommy."

"Keep talking baby," she urged him. "Keep talking so I can find you."

Sarah ran towards his voice. Time lost all meaning but she was sure she'd made some strides. It wasn't just hope that had her imagining that his voice seemed to be closer, she was sure or it. With every step, hope bloomed brighter within her. It energized her like nothing else could and she ran faster.

Then the ground became more uneven.

A root snaked out from the ground, tripping her.

She stumbled and landed on all four. After taking a fortifying breath, she pushed herself up on her knees and then onto her feet, ready to begin her search once again. Nothing was going to stop her from finding him.

The moonlight was back. The fog had receded. She could see all around her once again. It gave her another spark of hope, the light would help her find him.

"Baby, talk to me."

Her call went unanswered. Sarah turned a full circle, trying to recall what direction his voice had come from last. Amazingly, she'd lost track. She shook her head, hope turned to despair once again.

"Baby, answer me!"

She wouldn't give up.

She'd find him.

Nothing would stop her

The wind picked up. It rattled the trees, shook them so hard, the leaves were torn from their branches. The wind dragged the leaves through the air. The flying leaves and smaller debris too light to resist the natural force surrounded her.

It whipped around her and she struggled to remain anchored to the ground. The wind was deafening, her senses were useless. The darkness became threatening, oppressive.

Then, she heard her name being called once again. But it wasn't him. She tried to ignore the caller but it was persistent. She turned and a light appeared before her, pulling her forward.

She didn't want to go.

Not without him.

****