Diego and I sat in the first row of the church.

Winterview, Minnesota was a small town, and there wasn't much of anything that ever happened there. The church doors were always unlocked according to Diego, although I wasn't sure who would ever need to say a prayer at four in the morning.

Well, besides us, apparently.

I hadn't been in a church since Mom's funeral, but this church was much less grand. It felt more like a home to me, and I certainly preferred that over the excessive architecture.

I just could never identify with fancy, and with Viktor's life heading in the direction it was, I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep up with him.

"Are you religious?" Diego asked me, breaking the silence.

It was odd, since normally, the only services I ever attended were Christmas and Easter, where the church was filled with life and too many people for comfort, but it didn't feel isolated in the otherwise empty pews. Maybe it was because I had Diego with me. Maybe it was something else.

I shrugged. "Depends on what you mean. I've got my own idea of it."

Diego hummed in response. "Me too. There's someone up there for sure, but whoever it is isn't always on my side."

"Can you blame them?"

"Probably not. I sure as shit ain't a saint."

"You just swore in church. I'm pretty sure that means you're certainly going to hell," I replied.

Diego chuckled. "That's not the reason I'm spending the afterlife in eternal damnation, Amanda."

"So why'd you bring me here?"

"You sounded like you needed someone to listen to you. You know, someone who gives a shit."

"I'm confused."

"Let me tell you, I don't really care about your many problems. But," Diego pointed up to the ceiling, "maybe someone else does."

"Like, God?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

"You do care about my many problems," I said, laughing slightly. "You're just an asshole about it."

"Alright, you caught me. Your life is pretty much what I want mine to be, filled with love, friendship, people who care."

"Viktor cares about you," I said.

"Yeah, he does, but one person doesn't make a world filled with seven billion other douchebags any better."

I smiled. "It did for me."

"You really love him, don't you?"

I nodded.

"And, correct me if I'm wrong, you love the other guy in the picture too," he said.

"That's right. But it's different, I guess. Blaine's—" I trailed off.

Viktor was my unattainable ideal, but Blaine was something else. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"Amanda," Diego said.

I looked up at him.

"You're talking to yourself again."

I let my shoulders fall. "Sorry."

"You know what I think?"

"What?" I asked.

"You've strayed from your core values. Independence, truth, drive."

"I haven't strayed from those at all. I've just had a few of my previous perspectives changed, thanks to my experiences with others."

Diego thought for a moment. "Maybe."

We sat in silence for a moment.

That was it. Blaine was closer to what I prided myself on, the traits I accepted and valued in myself.

I always knew there was a deeper side to Diego. I just had to drag it out of him, or rather, give him the opportunity to show me.

I never meant to compare the two, Blaine and Viktor, since they were so different, and I loved them both in completely different ways.

And, fuck, I loved Viktor, way more than I ever thought possible.

I just really hated hurting people I cared about.

***

Since Mo added me to the Cool Beans Coffee group text (finally), I texted late that night asking for someone to cover for me, because I was throwing up. Some helpful employee thankfully obliged.

I had another task on my mind: convince Caroline that I wanted to be friends, while in reality, all I wanted to know was the tea on her situation.

Step one: send a nice, response-inducing text.

A brilliant plan, but an idea without a course of action rarely worked out for anyone, especially me.

I stared at the phone screen, trying to figure out what I could say that could cancel out the many times I tried to argue with her.

Or I could have just asked her what the deal was with the Jardetzky twins and her disappearance. Would she answer that?

Probably not.

I decided to thank her for her guidance instead and play into her ego.

I was one fake ass bitch.

"Hey, Caroline. I know I probably didn't sound grateful a couple days ago, but it really means a lot that you helped me get through that banquet. Things are looking good for Viktor," I texted her.

There wasn't a damn thing that was true in that text, but she wanted to play a shady game.

And unfortunately for her, I was the real Slim Shady.

Three dots appeared on her half of the conversation.

Success!

My phone vibrated. "No problem, babe. You at work rn?"

Holy fucking shit, this game was much easier than I imagined it would be.

I smiled and texted her back. "Nope."

"You wanna come over? Drew wants to give you something."

"I'll be there in a few minutes. Just let me get dressed," I replied.

I covered my smile with my hand, even though no one was around to see my pride. Amanda Jayne could play with the dumb ones, the smart ones, and everyone in between.

Sweet, sweet victory. Once I got on that high, there was no telling what kind of shady shit I'd be willing to do to keep it up. And my Viktory was no different.

I had split the losses with Lukas once upon a time, but with Caroline, I was determined to come out as the sole winner.

A little hubris never killed anyone, right?

I pulled on a pair of boots and a coat before beginning my trek across campus. The snow was no longer the pure, fresh kind that felt like Christmas, but the dirty, ugly kind that made me wish I lived literally anywhere else.

But I'd never leave. I loved home more than anything else.

When I arrived, Drew ushered me into their house.

"Follow me to the kitchen. I made you some cookies to celebrate Valentine's Day," she said, and I walked in her footsteps.

"Valentine's Day?" I asked.

"Yeah. I mean, you really helped me feel better about being here, and this is really the first holiday I've known you, so I wanted to make you something."

"Wait, is that today?"

She turned to look at me. "It is. Did you forget?"

"Shit," I muttered. "I guess I'm the world's worst girlfriend."

Drew laughed. "You're definitely not the worst. That would be me, for sure."

I sat down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. "Any specific reason?"

"One time, I got my ex a necklace, and she was allergic to nickel, so that didn't end well."

I held in a laugh. "At least you tried. I just completely forgot. Now my boyfriend's gonna be pissed at me. He's much more sentimental than I am."

"Where is she? Where's Amanda?" I heard a voice call from somewhere in the house.

"She's in here," Drew said.

Caroline walked into the kitchen. "So the banquet went well? You didn't talk? You smiled?"

I nodded. "Of course."

"Good, good. That was so important for him, and we really needed that, just to show that Viktor deserves a chance," Caroline said.

I took in a breath and tried not to roll my eyes. "Yep. Everything went smooth as fuck."

She had no part in this. Viktor was my project. Caroline just needed to keep her filthy little hands away from Viktor.

I had this shit under control.

"Drew, have you given her the cookies yet?" Caroline asked.

"Oh my god, I love cookies," I said.

Drew smiled. "I'm glad. I made, like, two dozen peanut butter cookies for you."

"Actually—"

I stopped myself from continuing my sentence. If I wanted to gain their trust, I had to go along with them.

And if I died, that certainly would be worth it.

"Oh my god," I said, my voice eight octaves higher than usual. "Thank you so much."

Anaphylactic reaction, my ass. I had shit that I needed to get done.

"Drew makes the best cookies ever. They're stupid good," Caroline said.

"I like a little competition. I guess you and I are going to have to duel it out for the title, Drew," I said.

Drew gave me a half-smile. "You bake?"

"A little," I replied. "Maybe we can see who's better."

"Or trade recipes," Drew said.

I laughed. "That too."

"You just can't stay in your lane, can you?" Caroline asked.

Shit. Abort. Abort.

I laughed and swatted the air with my hand. "I'm sure Drew will beat me anyway."

Who the fuck was the person talking for me, and what did they do to the real Amanda? I missed her. Shady Amanda was significantly less fun than Burn Everything to The Ground Amanda.

Caroline smiled. "Not everything needs conquered, Amanda."

My phone rang, but I was in damage control mode with Caroline, so I ignored it.

"I learn best by pushing myself and others. It's just what I do," I said.

"Well, I'd love a friendly competition. Of course, we'll need some judges in order to do that," Drew said.

That certainly would have been Blaine's dream job. He always had a thing for sweet, besides girls.

And just like that, the wheels in my head were spinning wildly, and the beginnings of a plan came into being.

"Are you guys doing anything over spring break? We could always do something then," I said.

"Viktor invited me to go with him to Wisconsin back when things were different, but that probably wouldn't be a good idea anymore," Caroline said.

That was one of the reasons Blaine wasn't happy with Viktor during Christmas. I remembered that fairly well.

"I mean, it's not just going to be him. I'll be there, my best friend Arti will be, my—" I hesitated, "my brother will be. Oh my god, you guys would absolutely love Arti. The four of us, we could be a kick-ass squad."

"Is she nice?" Drew asked.

"No. Not at all," I replied.

"Oh." Drew tilted her head sideways, clearly taken aback. "Is she funny?"

I nodded. "Oh, yeah. She's hilarious. Super pretty too, if I may add."

Drew looked over to Caroline with a smile.

Caroline stared at me. "Is that your selling point? Your pretty friend?"

"She's, like, really pretty though," I said.

While my plan to get the truth from Caroline certainly didn't require this whole "spring break" step, I also needed to help a sister out. Drew was pretty, Arti was pretty, what more could they want?

"Who else would be there?" Caroline asked.

My heart sunk into my stomach. "My friend who put this whole thing together."

It was all for me.

"Are you—" Drew began, but Caroline spoke over her.

"Guy or girl?"

"Blaine's a guy," I replied.

"Damn, that's unfortunate. He sounds chivalrous. Not my cup of tea."

"What?" I asked.

She shrugged. "The nice guy is definitely not my style. They're all actually assholes."

"Um, what about Viktor?"

"My point exactly." Caroline smiled.

I took in a breath. "I just wanted to offer something nice. I don't know why you're turning this into a hating session."

Caroline crossed her arms and leaned in a little closer to me. "If Drew's going to be there, these guys better be fucking saints. Must I bring up the Dr. Mann incident?"

As much as I hated to admit it, I had nothing to argue.

"Blaine's a great guy. He's just fun to be around. I mean, hell, he bought a Barbie scooter from a little girl a couple months ago," I said.

"A Barbie scooter?" Drew asked.

I nodded. "I'll ask him for a picture, if you want."

"That's okay." Drew turned to Caroline. "Please, Caroline? You were already invited, and I want to go."

Caroline rose her eyebrows. "But we were gonna binge watch Supernatural together all spring break long."

"But we've both been so stressed out lately. Don't you want to make some new friends?" Drew asked.

"You sound like a fucking kindergartener."

"And you sound like a party-pooper."

Caroline's eyes widened. "Take that back."

Drew shook her head. "Not until you stop being one."

I tried not to laugh at the ridiculousness of their conversation. It sounded like a million chats I had had with Arti, the rational versus the spirited.

"You know what, fine. You could probably use some time away, even if it's only in the next state over," Caroline said.

I smiled.

The way to Caroline's heart was through Drew, and conquering Drew's heart was easy.

That just left step two in my flawless plan: get to the bottom of whatever was happening with Caroline and the twins.

If they were in trouble, it could have an effect on Viktor, and that was a loss we sure as hell couldn't afford.