I sat down in my chair in Dr. Mann's office before he even invited me to sit. I was going to fix our situation one way or another, because truth be told, I couldn't help but feel that I had somehow disappointed Viktor, even though he never said it.

He looked across the desk at me. "Yes?"

"I'm going to be straight-up and get to the point. Both of us want something. I want to pass this class, you want to keep your job. I don't think we should make it difficult on ourselves. We both have enough going on already," I said.

"Okay, and?"

I rolled my eyes. "And I'm trying to say that we should help each other out, rather than tearing each other down. You're in a tough spot with your wife, and I understand that. I'd like to think that it's the grief talking when you're lashing out on me, because I'm the same way."

"Oh?"

"Look, my mother passed away right before the semester started. I'm doing my best, but she was the only reason I'm partially sane. But I think that's what caused the original rift between us. Emotions are hard to control when you're dealing with what we have been."

Dr. Mann smiled. "You weren't joking when you said you were going to get to the point."

"I like efficiency. It keeps life moving when both of us wish it'd stop for just a moment, so we can catch up. I don't want to come across as some whiny baby, but the truth is, we're much more similar than we are different, and I just wanted to offer an exchange."

I had stolen the idea from Viktor, and it if it could work for the two of us, it could definitely get me out of the terrible situation with Dr. Mann.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked.

I brushed my hair out of my face, then tilted my head. "Well, for starters, we both get our shit together, because there's no sense in putting ourselves in a worse hell than we already are. Second, I propose that I have a chance to pass the class, in exchange for me keeping everything you said about me to myself. I can't afford to fail, and you can't afford to put your job at risk. We both come out of here without losing anything."

He thought for a moment. "You can't pass this class without getting a one hundred thirty-four on the final, which isn't possible."

I rose an eyebrow at him. "Did you calculate that just for fun?"

Dr. Mann looked down at the desk. "Maybe."

I laughed. "You're just as petty and immature as me. So I hate to be the person who asks for extra credit, but can I have some extra credit?"

He shook his head. "It's against my policy. I don't give anyone extra credit. But," he thought for a moment, "I could cheat the system and make you do an extra assignment that could perhaps boost your grade."

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"You haven't shown anything that proves you've learned a single thing from my class, so I certainly can't do anything about your grade until you prove that you have. Find a way to do it, and I'll give you a decent grade."

"How long do I have?"

"Until the final exam."

"Consider it done. Fuck it, consider it done for Friday."

He gave me a slight smile. "Don't kill yourself over it, okay?"

I stood up. "Sorry. I really should keep my language professional here. But anyway, don't worry about me. I'll handle it. And I have one more question."

"Yes?"

"Are we learning anything important on Friday?"

"You probably won't think it's important."

"Good. Can I have the entire class period?"

"Excuse me?"

"You see, I'm a bit of a drama queen-"

Dr. Mann interrupted me. "Shocking."

I shot him a glare, then continued talking. "But I think it'd be best if we put our dispute to rest in front of the class. Some of them are more emotionally invested in it than I am."

"So what are you planning to do?"

I smiled. "A speech. I think it'll be interesting."

"I'm sure it will be. The class is yours on Friday."

That gave me about four days to prepare something, and I was looking forward to my moment to shine.

I thanked him as I headed for the door, but he stopped me. "Amanda."

I turned to look at him.

"I admire your courage. You've kept yourself together well given your circumstances," he said.

"Um, thank you."

"And thank you for your kindness. I apologize for picking you to be my scapegoat."

I took a deep breath. "I appreciate that, but don't apologize for picking me to be a scapegoat. You should be apologizing for taking out your anger on anyone."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

He stared at me, waiting for me to say something, but I didn't.

I wasn't sure if he was expecting an apology from me or some type of acknowledgement for his, but he would get both in my speech.

***

I would have worked on my speech immediately after Dr. Mann and I came up with a solution, but I had to work.

My favorite thing.

I actually didn't mind it that much. Most of the time I was by myself in the back, making whatever baked goods we would need for the day. It was a reminder of the life I used to have back in Bloomington, where the triplets and I baked whatever we wanted, and Blaine, Arti, Matt, and Viktor took whatever they wanted.

That was my favorite part. Food brought joy, even though it was temporary.

But wasn't all joy, all pleasure, temporary?

Usually when I was working, I could hear what was going on in the outside world, so I never got too lonely. That day, it seemed that half the human population was on the other side of the door, demanding coffee and muffins and shit.

Mo poked her head into the door. "Hey, Amanda. Are you doing anything productive?"

"Nope. I just sit back here and do nothing in exchange for payment. What a life," I said, flipping the electric mixer off.

"Trey and I can't keep up. There's at least a million people out here. Would you be willing to help us out?"

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing? Someone has to get the whipped cream made, toast the bagels, et cetera, et cetera. And you know, you're back here yelling at me, when you could be doing something to help Trey."

Mo looked at me for a moment. "Fair enough. Just go faster. This line's not getting any shorter."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. She certainly wasn't a bad person, but her anxiety levels went through the roof anytime we had a line longer than four people. During the morning shift at a coffee shop, that was an inevitability.

Needless to say, she was worked up approximately one hundred percent of the time.

She and I got along really well when we had a moment of rest in between waves, since we both had a love for pushing people. But when I was the one she was pushing, there were a few tensions between us. I tried not to take her shit personally.

I could hear the sounds of a shit ton of customers over the whirring of the mixer, and with the my whipped cream in progress still liquid, I figured it couldn't hurt to see what exactly was going on out there. With Mo's pushiness greater than usual, there had to be something going on.

I poked my head out of the door, and right at the front of the line was Viktor.

Plus Caroline, but I wasn't too happy with her, so I refused to notice her.

She really pissed me off by telling Viktor about my Dr. Mann crisis, and it didn't help her situation that Viktor was beginning to pay her more attention.

I didn't like it at all.

When Arti and Viktor first started dating, they both flat-out ignored Matt, Blaine, and me. And a large part of me was afraid that it would happen again.

Other than Jackie, Viktor really was my only friend at Winterview. Everyone else proved sucky.

I smiled at Viktor, and when he noticed me, he waved.

Caroline wrapped her arm through his, and although Viktor didn't stop her, he didn't give her an ounce of his attention. I owned that for the moment.

I wasn't sure why either one of them was okay with their situation. Viktor had no problem being with someone he even admitted was his second choice, and Caroline knew that she was that and nothing more.

Maybe it was just because I had something called self-respect, but I could never imagine being someone's second place or put someone in a situation where they would be just a back-up option. I refused to let Viktor suffer when I knew I didn't want him the same way he wanted me, and Blaine knew damn well that I was going to be his gold medal girl and nothing less.

But for some people, desperation was in the air. Luckily enough, I remembered to bring Lysol.

I pushed the swingy door open and rested my arms on the counter right beside Mo at the cash register.

"What are you doing?" Mo whispered to me.

I smiled at Caroline. "Taking my break."

"You can't do that."

"When is the last time the word 'can't' stop me?"

Viktor, still at the front of the line, decided to chime in. "Never."

I smiled at him. "Never."

"Anyway, will that be all for you today? One cappuccino and a doughnut?" Mo asked.

Viktor smiled at her. "Yes, thank you."

Caroline looked up at him. "You didn't have to get me anything, I told you."

"I wanted to. Don't worry about it. You deserve it," Viktor said.

I rolled my eyes, then frowned.

I wanted to be happy that he wasn't my problem anymore, that he had found someone else who could make him happy, but at the same time, I didn't want to have to share him with anyone.

Regardless of my romantic feelings (or a lack thereof), I still loved the shit out of him as a friend, a best friend even, but I could never tell Arti or Matt that. I didn't want to fuck up our friendship dynamic any more than it already was.

I just wanted him to be mine, and only mine.

But strictly in a non-romantic, non-sexual way.

Maybe it was jealousy from her, maybe jealousy from me, but I wanted Caroline gone. Viktor didn't feel a damn thing for her, and she didn't feel anything for him. It made no sense whatsoever, and it was almost insulting to me that Viktor figured he could get more enjoyment out of a relationship with no emotion than me, a friend with all the emotion in the world.

But there was also the very real possibility that I was fucking crazy.

I went back into the kitchenette, and I ran over to my whipped cream that I had accidentally left on for too long.

"Ah, fuck me," I muttered as I turned off the mixer.

Whipped cream dripped down the side of the bowl, so I ran my finger along the rim and licked it.

It didn't taste bad and the texture seemed okay enough, so I just decided to go with it.

I still had to get Caroline's fucking doughnut, anyway, so I didn't have much time to waste.

And as I worked, I didn't exactly focus on the task at hand, since I was much more interested in my new project, my speech for Dr. Mann.

It was going to knock his fucking old man socks off.

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Sorry this chapter is a piece of garbage, but I wanted to get something out with my extremely limited time this week. If you have any suggestions or criticisms, just let me know and I'll see what I can do about them. This was mostly just set-up for what is to come, but trash is trash and I'm tough enough to acknowledge it.

Thank you for reading! I have high hopes for the next chapter, so hopefully it turns out better than this.

You know, when I can actually write it to a decent standard.