How the hell did I even get here? I look at my locker, and then glance around the hall.

I was supposed to be heading to lunch. New school hallways always get me.

I wonder if I could fit in this locker... Maybe. It'd be a squeeze for my shoulders. But you definitely can't put like, a walrus in there. A dog would fit, for sure. But if you put the dog in the walrus...

Wait, what am I talking about? This is insane.

How would I even get a dog inside of a walrus? I bet you he wouldn't follow treats.

Do you think if the dog was inside the walrus and I told the dog to sit, the walrus would also sit?

It's moments like this when I'm really glad nobody can read my mind. Nobody here needs to know that I'm thinking about force feeding puppies to obese sea creatures.

"Hey, it's Adam. Right?" A small voice calls out from behind me.

I look over my shoulder, and don't see anything. So I look under my arm, and see a short girl standing awkwardly behind my back. It's the brunette one with those beautiful eyes, from class. The one I offered my virginity to.

"That's what they call me," I nod, shutting my locker "To be honest though, I feel more like a Brittany,"

She smiles and I get to see her teeth. Her two front ones are slightly bigger than the rest. I wonder if it feels weird to kiss someone who has large front teeth...

No, Adam. Don't go down that road.

But I like the scenery on that road...

The road is bumpy as hell.

That could lead to so many dirty jokes-

"Did you hear me?"

Right! Reality still exists. Forgot about that.

"No, sorry. I spaced out. Could you say that again," I shrug, feeling my cheeks burn up. I know this feeling. I know it all too well. It happens in every town. And the aching and pain follows every time.

"My name is Lucy," she gives me a really dazzling smile, and blushes. "I just wanted you to know. Well, I didn't want you to know. I just thought that you should. Not that you should know me! I just..."

I'm really enjoying this, I admit it. But I'll save her anyway. "It's nice to meet you," I give her a soft smile. Her hair looks silky. I wonder if she brushes it a lot. Or maybe someone does it for her... Could I get that job?

In return to my smile, I get blinded by her sudden beaming. Why is she looking at me like that? Wait, she can't read minds can she?

What is your favorite food!?!?!?

"I'm on the way to the cafeteria to get some mashed potatoes. They're my favorite. Want to come?" She asks.

Okay. This is creepy as hell. She just read my mind, and I don't think she even knows it.

"Come on," she grabs my hand and gives it a tug. Then she lets go, way too soon.

We both kind of stare at each other, watching our faces get red.

"I'm, uh. Not really hungry... Right now..." My stomach is so twisted that if I eat anything, I might throw up. And you definitely don't want cute girls to think that they make you throw up.

"Okay," she nods quickly and sticks her hands behind her back. "I'll save you a seat if you decide you want company,"

A question suddenly pops into my mind. I'm willing to ask almost anything to make it seem like I'm invested in this discussion. Well, I'm not going to ask for nudes or anything... I did say ALMOST.

"Who do you sit with?" I ask. "At lunch,"

"In total?" She thinks about it for a second. "Hopefully you,"

I squint at her. Okay I admit. This girl is not magazine-cover-hot. She's not a super model like most of the other girls try to be in highschool. It doesn't even look like she wears makeup.

But she's undoubtedly really cute. And yeah, she's got to have some issues, everyone does. But personally I think that just adds to the cute thing (I've got a major soft spot for girls with brown eyes, too...). There is no reason a girl like this should be eating alone... EVER.

"You mean just me?"

She shrugged shyly. "Yeah. Well. Nobody really likes the idea of sitting next to the principal's daughter..." She smiles at me again and walks off.

Fuck.

The one girl I had to fall for. The kin of the last person I want to piss off.

Yup, sounds about right...

***

Okay, don't judge me. I already feel bad enough about it, I don't need your help. But I did not end up going to Lucy at lunch. And then I've, so far, avoided her for the rest of the day.

She's sweet and everything, but if I take one wrong step around her, and her dad finds out, my secret is blown nation wide. Maybe even world wide, it depends on what I do.

So I really just need to stay away from her. Because if I see those brown eyes up close, I don't know how much I'll be able to ignore them.

So where should I go to be alone? Well, I know a place. So I went to the foster house, grabbed some food, and now I'm on my way to an abandoned house in the woods. Which I already feel is closer to home than any other place I've lived so far. It feels so quiet. And safe. And wet. I wonder what you can really count as a home-

"Hey Thompson!"

I spin around, in the middle of the forest, and see Lucy marching towards me.

Oh, shit. How'd she find me in here? Should I run? Would she get mad at me if I ran? Yeah she'd probably get mad. And if she can find me here, I bet she could hunt me down in bed, and not for the reason that I'd be hoping for.

"Hey Johnson!" I call back.

She stops an inch from me, and glares up my chest. Okay I'm exaggerating. But she is really short.

"First off, my last name is Hult. Not Johnson. And secondly, you're an ASSHOLE," she holds up her fist, which was being swallowed by her sleeve, and punches me in the chest. Hard.

"Ouch!" I rubbed the spot tenderly. "What the hell, bitch?"

"Do you know how dumb I looked?" She demanded hotly. "Sitting next to an empty seat in the cafeteria?"

"I don't know, probably as dumb as usual,"

I swear to god I meant it as a joke. That's not an excuse, of course. But I really didn't mean it.

She socks me in the ribs.

"Stop, stop," I cough. "I'm sorry, okay? I deserved that,"

"So what's your excuse?" She demanded, curling another fist.

Excuse? "Umm. I don't have one?" I glance at her fist warily.

To my surprise, she actually looks confused. "You don't? Bullshit. All guys have excuses,"

"No," I shrug. "I mean, you said it like a suggestion. I didn't think you'd come and kick my ass for not being there,"

She glances around the trees and looks at me suspiciously. "Why are you out here?"

"If you put that away, I'll show you," I gesture at her fist, still hovering at gut level.

She glares. I think she's starting to realize that she's alone in the middle of the woods with a guy she doesn't know. "Are you going to rape me?" She asks.

In what instance would I answer that question with a "yes"?

"Name me one virgin rapist you've ever heard of," I reply.

Danni scans me over, as if to see if I'm serious. Which I'm obviously not. I'm never serious. But for some reason, she lowers her arm anyway.

I nod in the opposite direction of the cabin. "It's this way,"

No. Of course I'm not going to show this random woman my one special place in life. I don't even know her. We're just going to walk until I find something half interesting to stop at.

"What's this way?" She asks, following at a safe distance behind me.

Now I go into full story telling mode. "It was the darkest of nights... last night. And I was wandering through these foggy woods. Lost. Alone. Gathering what would later turn out to be firewood-"

"Firewood?" She echos. "And you're still alive?"

I swear this girl is my soulmate.

"Somehow," I shrug. I think we're getting close to something... I hear running water. So I turn around and face Lucy, walking backwards with my eyes on her. Then I continue in a low voice. "I was lost in thought when it happened. I saw it. And-"

"Stop walking like that," she rudely interrupted my monologue. "You're going to trip and break your neck,"

"Deal with it. You broke two of my ribs, so let me risk breaking one of my own for dramatic effect, if I want to,"

She rolls her eyes.

Taking that as affirmation, I get back to the grand reveal. "I saw it. And it took my breath away..." I push aside a few branches, and the both of us see a random creek.

Wow. Jackpot, actually. Just cool enough to avoid suspicion, but not so cool that she'd follow me out here, looking for it.

But I'm not looking at the water. I'm watching Lucy. I know what I'm expecting: "Wow. It's a shitty old creek," but I'm kinda hoping that's not what I get. That would be a pretty solid disappointment after all that drama I built up. And it definitely wouldn't be worth being called a rapist.

Lucy's big brown eyes fill with wonder, and her mouth gapes open just enough to see the whiteness of her teeth. "Oohhh!" She takes a step past me, into the clearing, and watches the sun sparkle off of the eater's surface.

Hey, check that out. Perfect timing, Sun. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Lucy spins around and grins at me. "You found this?"

I burst out laughing. "I've been here for three days. You've lived here your whole life, and you didn't know it was here?"

Water starts dripping on the top of our heads.

Great, now it's raining. And I don't mean that sarcastically. I mean literally. I love the rain.

"Come on," before I can talk myself out of it, I grab her arm and pull her up under a few trees. It wasn't very dry, but it kept us from the heavier rainfall.

"You're gonna get wet," she frowns. She's cute when she frowns. But not as cute as when she smiles.

I shrug. "It's fine. I'm an asshole, remember?"

"Get over here," Lucy laughs. She grabs my arm and draws me right up next to her. Still, though, I do my best to keep our bodies from touching. I don't want her to feel like I'm crowding her space.

We have a long silence as we stand there and watch the sky grow dark from the clouds. I can barely make out Lucy's face by the time she speaks again.

"I'm sorry," she says, her voice drifting off into the night.

"For what?" I ask. I think she's talking about hitting me, but I can't be sure.

"For calling you an asshole. You're not. You're really sweet,"

"You don't know that," I shake my head. She has no idea about the things that I've done. I'm way worse than an asshole. And I'm a lifetime removed from sweet.

"I don't have to know you," she whispers, I feel the air shift as she turns to look at me. "I can read you,"

What's that supposed to mean?

"Like how you're trying to make sure I don't get uncomfortable with how close you are right now. You were willing to stand in the rain instead," she explains "And how you grabbed my Dad's attention when he was getting after Ms. Lawrence in front of everyone. And how you didn't even get mad while I was punching you a little bit ago. And how you set aside all of your walls, and all of your boundaries just to make people laugh. If that's not sweet, I don't know what is,"

"You're overthinking this, Lucy," I whisper back. "You have no idea who I am,"

She shrugs, and changes the subject. "You know. It's a little cold out here,"

I glance around, to make sure no teachers will think we're smoking back here, and pull a lighter out of my pocket. Then I hold it up like a little campfire, for her to warm her hands on.

Instead of getting closer though, she leans against the tree and grins at me. "See? You're a sweetheart,"

Why that little- She played me!

...and it worked.

I can't help but smile. "My statement still stands. You don't know who I am,"

"I don't have to," she replies. "I know what you're like,"

I walk towards Lucy, just to see how close she'll let me get before she backs away. But in an instant, our chests are pressed together. And she's just looking at me.

"I shouldn't have called you an asshole, Adam," her voice is so soft that it barely makes it to my ears. But it does, and it sends shivers down my spine. "I shouldn't have hit you. I'm sorry,"

"I should have shown up for lunch," I say, my voice coming out closer to a growl than a breath, like her's. "I know it must be hard, being so close to someone who scares so many people. It must feel like the whole world is just trying to ignore you,"

She looks down, throwing a shadow over her candlelit face. "The world does ignore me,"

I lean down and graze my lips against her cheek. "Than don't be part of that world,"

She looks back up at me, startled, with her nose an inch from mine. "What do you mean?"

I think of how I should try to explain it to her. "Just because you're here, doesn't mean it's all life or death," I say. "Very little is serious. Not much is even important. It's all so small. A bad day isn't even a percentage of your life. You don't have to be part of this world. Make it your own and be part of that,"

"That sounds tricky,"

"Maybe. But what's that to stop a dreamer?"