Ryan shuts the door quickly behind us as we get back to kissing. There's a comfort in the sunshine rushing through the blinds as he undoes my pants. He's moving too quickly, and we have such a long time before lunch.

"There's an hour and a half before lunch, we don't have to rush this." I say softly as his lips press against my neck.

"I have shit to do." He says as he tugs my pants to my ankles. I kick them off.

He kisses me, but I stop him, mildly confused and slightly shocked, "Wait, really?"

"Yes." There's an annoyed expression growing on his face.

"Maybe we could-"

"Strip before you say anything else." He commands, crossing his arms.

I do as he says, feeling more irritated than anything, and continue, "We both have the same project from the same... class." It's hard to speak with his hand around my cock.

"We could," I take a breath, absorbing his touch, "work on that after..."

He takes my shoulders and positions my body in front of the bed, "Fine." He musters, before pushing me roughly onto the mattress, "Turn over."

Those words hit me in the worst way, and I refuse to accept it, "I want to look at you this time."

"I don't have to fuck you right now." He says, once again crossing his arms.

"Ryan... c'mon." He's acting like this is my idea when he was the one to push me against that wall. I have an irking suspicion that his insecurities are talking, and that turns me on even further. I continue, "What's wrong with looking at you while you fuck me?" I pose for him, putting on my best bedroom eyes before licking my lips.

"Turn over..." He says again.

"No." Immediately slips out of my mouth.

"Get your clothes on-"

"Ryan!" I whine, crawling across the bed. I get up on my knees and throw my arms around his neck before he can walk away, "Please." I say, now pressing my lips desperately against his neck before moving to his jaw and finally his lips.

We don't kiss for long before he removes my arms from around his neck. I keep close to him, though, and continue with my pleads, "I want you so badly. I want to wrap my legs around you. I want to see your gorgeous face when you come."

I press my body against his and kiss him again. He stops me and says, "Okay..."

I can't help but smirk. I bite my bottom lip immediately to simmer the expression. I sit back on the bed and watch as he takes off his clothes. I'm almost mesmerized by it, looking at every inch of his gradually exposed skin. His figure is so slim and pale, but I still think he's gorgeous. As he moves over to me, I notice the various scars on his upper torso and stomach. His lips quickly find mine as our bodies connect. My fingertips trail along his back as he pushes his pelvis down into mine. I don't mind the aching pressure being prolonged if it means holding him longer. He gets off of me a little too soon as he gets his lube from the drawer. I watch him squeeze the liquid onto his fingers.

His lips find mine as his pointer finger slips in me. I let out a soft moan against his touch. We keep kissing as another digit makes its way in. I push up against his fingers and let out another moan. He slips his fingers out and proceeds to apply the glossy liquid to his erection. It's a lot hotter actually watching him do it. He comes back in with a few more kisses before adjusting my hips. My mouth hangs agap when he enters me. I instantly wrap my feet around his lower back as his chest falls closer to mine. His face is still seemingly expressionless as he moves in and out of me. He starts to push in deeper and pick up the pace.

"Fuck..." I moan louder. My hands fall to his back as I let my nails drag at his skin.

He raises his chest from mine for a moment as his pace slows. I can see the marks on his body closer now, and I can't help but place one of my hands on his chest. He immediately grasps my palm and shoves it back on the bed. Before I question his action, his thrusts speed up again as he gives me a deep kiss. His breath gets staggered against my lips as his hand grasps my cock. That warm feeling builds in the pit of my stomach. I watch as his eyes fall shut and his head tilts back. He lets out a soft noise and I soon enough feel my own orgasm hit, and fuck, it hits hard.

"Holy fucking shit." I curse, and my body is practically shaking.

Ryan pulls out of me as his hands run through his hair. I let my body relax as I just look at him for a while. He looks so good resting on his legs. The light hits his body just right. I say, "Ry..." and take out my hand, hoping his fingers will lace through mine for a moment.

He looks at my gesture, but doesn't move. I give him puppy dog eyes and knock my legs against his knees. He nearly rolls his eyes before taking my hand. I pull him next to me and hold his face before kissing him.

"Okay, alright." He says between kisses before removing my hands from his face.

I watch him get off the bed and collect his clothes. God, he won't even cuddle me for a damn minute? Stubborn... but I'll get through to him. I know I can. His hesitation to face me is a wall now broken down. I wonder what else could change about him if he really starts to fall for me. Such a thought may still seem far fetched, but I'm not quitting here.

"Can I use your shower?" I ask a semi-dressed Ryan as I get up off the bed.

"Sure." He says.

I collect my clothes and head into his bathroom. I make the session quick, just taking the time to wash my body. When I step out, I use what I can only assume to be Ryan's towel. I smile to myself, hoping he doesn't mind. I get as dry as I can before slipping my clothes on. When I step outside the bathroom, I see Ryan with his work already out on the bed. I walk near the front of the room and take my items before sitting next to him. I'm so dazed by what just happened that I can't focus on jack shit.

"Are we really just going to work?" I ask, sitting close enough for our arms to touch.

"You suggested this." He says.

I place my mouth against his clothed shoulder and just hover there before playfully biting him.

He moves his shoulder, almost to shake me off, "What are you doing?"

I giggle, "Nothing."

He turns to actually look at me, and I swear there's a growing smile on his face. I move in closer and he kisses me. There's something lively in the moment. I can feel myself growing jittery like I just got my first kiss from a middle school crush. Every little thing he gives into makes him seem just a little more human. The intimidation is getting torn down piece by piece. I'm addicted to this growing trust and warm light still shining through the window.

I put my arms around his neck, "I don't want to do work right now."

He sighs, "Brendon."

"What?" I say, putting a big smile on my face.

"Half an hour at least." He says.

"Till what?" I ask.

He takes my arms from around his neck and puts them by my sides. He gets up to go to the bathroom before I can try again to get an answer out of him. I decide to just let things be for now as I take out my own work. Half an hour... fine I can tolerate that.

Twenty minutes in, and it surprisingly feels worth it. Ryan is pretty damn smart, I should commend him for actually wanting to do shit for school. It starts to feel strange for a moment. Everything feels so normal. Afternoon sex and homework with my boy... friend... boyfriend. Granted, it hasn't been said, but this is the second- third time we've done it. I doubt he's been with anyone else.

"Hey Ryan." I ask. Fuck, I already want to retract my burning question.

"Hm." He says.

"Nevermind." I run my hands through my hair a couple times just to get myself to calm down a bit.

"Alright." He responds.

No, I'm not gonna take that, "Are we... uh." Fucking say it, you loser, "boyfriends?"

He laugh a bit and looks at me, "You're a good fuck, but I wouldn't slap a label on this."

"Why not?" I ask.

He closes his laptop before focusing on me again, "Because I don't do relationships. I like to fuck around sometimes, but besides that..."

I reach for his left hand and turn it over to stroke his palm, "You like this... you like me, don't you?"

He moves his stuff out of the way before crawling to the middle end of the bed. He grips my ankles and tugs my body towards him. He puts his knee between my legs and takes my hands to raise above my head.

He says, "I like your ass and your cock." He comes in and kisses me, tongue immediately slipping in my mouth. His crotch falls against mine, and I'm already getting hard again.

"I like your submission and the sounds you make." He lets go of my hands and I let them fall to my sides as his mouth is against my neck. He rubs against me again and I push my hips up. I let out a whine when I feel my skin in his teeth. He runs his hand up my shirt and drags his nails down my chest. I really like the way it burns. I push my hips up against his a little harder and let out a pleased noise.

He undoes my pants just enough to slide his hand inside my boxers. His lips are still on my neck as he strokes me slowly. When his eyes do hit mine again, I admire how beautiful they are. His breath is a bit heavy as his almost red lips are semi-parted. His hair hangs across his face so nicely. God, why don't we be mother fucking boyfriends....

He lowers himself on me, pulling my pants down low enough to expose my throbbing member. His eyes lock with mine again before he takes me in his mouth. I let my head fall back against the pillow as I release a soft moan. He alternates between bobbing his head and licking up my shaft. It's driving me crazy and I come not too long after that. He then zips down his own pants and I return the favor. I've never sucked cock prior to this, but the small sounds from Ryan's mouth surely mean I'm doing something right. His seed eventually hits the back of my throat. It's oddly bitter, but I swallow. I get back up to his level and kiss him. He retracts quickly and pulls back up his pants before getting off the bed. I just sit there feeling more than satisfied about this afternoon.

We stay relatively quiet for the rest of the time just to get some more work done. A few minutes before the bell is supposed to ring, I use his bathroom again just to take a quick piss. When I get to washing my hands, I glance in the mirror and notice the small hickies on my neck. They're subtle but visible, and I can't help but smirk.

We both head out together and I feel motivated enough to actually get something to eat. I say to Ryan, "Come with me to get something?"

"Sure." He says.

"Cool." I smile.

I pick up a turkey and cheese sandwich as we both head to our table. We sit next to each other this time, and I'm sure Dallon won't mind. I eat my food and watch as the others start to show up. I let my right leg softly bounce against Ryan's left, and he doesn't reciprocate the action nor protest against it.

Gerard looks at me quizzically, but I refrain from asking why. He eventually says, "So Bren, had a little fun lately?" while pointing at his neck to allude to mine.

I almost blush and can't help but glance at Ryan, "Yeah." I say.

Gerard picks up on the signs and looks at Ryan then back to me. He raises his eyebrows, "You two, huh?"

It's silent for a moment as everyone's eyes zone in on me and Ryan. I push my knuckles around shyly under the table and just wait for the brown haired boy to say something. Surely enough...

"Yeah, we're fucking. End of discussion." It's blatant and monotone, but official.

It's hard not to grin from ear to ear. There's no way he didn't expect that to happen after purposefully marking me. He wants to show me off and he definitely wanted them to know. Sure, I could have just made up some lie, but any one of them could have been bound to figure it out eventually.

I can't help but think about the afternoon as I go through the rest of the day. Feeling okay for once is a relief, and with him especially. Granted, it's a club day tomorrow, so that easy feeling won't stay. I then check my phone. It's 5:45. Oh shit, Patrick. I head out to the spot he said we should meet, and I correct myself. Give it less than a half an hour and this good feeling will definitely disappear.

I stand in front of the 300s building and Patrick is already 5 minutes late. Eventually, I see him walking quickly around the corner.

He sees me and says, "Hey." before stopping a few feet away.

"What do you want to talk about?" I ask him, because I'd rather just be in my room.

He shakes his head and raises his eyebrows like he's in shock that I didn't already have some grand speech planned, "You had..." He lowers his voice and inches a tad bit closer to me, "your first kill didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did, a little while ago. Ryan went on the job with me." I say, trying my best not to actually think about it.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

I say, "No," I add, "can't say it was all bad, though." The first night isn't running through my head, of course it's not. I don't want to tell him about that. He's bound to notice my hickies any second now anyway.

"What do you..." He squints his eyes like he's trying to make sense of what I've said, "Did you and Ryan...? Oh god." He says, shaking his head and averting his gaze.

"Score on my part." I tell him with a smirk, because there's truth to that.

"Jesus Christ... okay whatever fine... fine." He pauses, "Did you at least want it?"

I don't understand why he's asking that, so I reply with, "Why wouldn't I?"

"Was it that night? That you did what you did... and you were okay enough to say yes to..." He quiets down again, "having sex with him?"

I feel uneasy in that moment and get out a, "Yeah... mhm."

"You're really not the same person I met." He says, looking cautious.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I feel mildly offended that he would look at me any differently. I'm terribly fucking scarred. I didn't turn into some kind of monster overnight if that's what he might be thinking.

"Having the willingness and sanity to sleep with someone after something like that. It's fucked."

"I didn't like doing what I did. I don't fucking think about it. Being with Ryan takes away some of that shit, okay?"

"I don't understand you." He exclaims, gesturing his hand towards me like I'm some fucking weirdo on display.

"This..." I point to him then myself, "is a waste of time, clearly."

"Maybe." He says, a bit calmer this time, "Just... this will bite you in the ass. He's the leader of the club, need I remind you, and the killings won't stop here. He could probably resurface the memories as much as you try to push them away. Don't count on him pursuing anything real or genuine with you either."

I scoff, "You don't know him like I do."

He just looks at me with a saddened expression on his face, "I pity you, Brendon. And fine, next time, if you really want to talk, just text me."

"Next time? All you do is criticize me, I might as well lose your number."

"Well think about this: Pete wouldn't want another dead body on his conscious. Neither would I even though you push it."

I shake my head. For a second, I want to be honest with him. He really gives a shit that fucking much and I'm just pushing it away like I'm fine when I know I can't be. There is no good time for this, but I'd rather skip out for now. Even if it irritates me, him and Pete are the only sane friends I have... especially if anything goes awry.

I say, "Okay. I'll text you next time."

"Good." He nods, "Since you don't need me right now, I'll leave." Before he turns around completely, he adds, "Take care of yourself."

"Will do." I finish. We proceed to go our separate ways.