The Scared and the Scarred

Days like this my steps were slow. I took in all the sights around me, and breathed in the smell of the thick forest deeper than usual. My feet were bare, sinking into the soft dirt and grass path I was walking. Every so often I would stop, picking a brightly colored wildflower or two, weaving them into the circle of vines I had twisted together to fit my head perfectly.

My mind was empty of all the thoughts that normally swirled about, allowing a peaceful calm to settle over me. There was no one in this part of the woods who could see me, judge me. I was free.

I smiled as I saw a mother deer with her newborn fawn. Their heads snapped in my direction as they caught my smell in the air. I crouched to the ground and stretched my hand out towards them. Slowly, they came nearer. My smile grew.

This was my Gift, Nature. I was the only one in my pack with the Gift of Nature, and I found it to be my favorite of all, but not because I was born with it.

Every wolf was born with a Gift, its to help us protect this world. There are Nature, like me, who have special connection with the earth and animals, Social, who have are very convincing, smart, and respected, Health, good with medicine and healing, and Warrior, the protectors and fighters. We all love our gifts, though at times, some envy others abilities. My gift was special to me because the Nature gift was rarely given, and the most beautiful. The ability to make plants and flowers grow at will, to have all animals be at peace with your presence was simply amazing.

I sat with the mother and the fawn for an hour before finally realizing it was beginning to grow darker, the shadows of the tall pines around me painting the ground a darker hue. I was in no rush, however, my enhanced eye sight would help me navigate the forest were the sun to finally vanish.

By the time I made it back, it was pitch black out. My house was beautiful, a three story log home with a large porch and lots of windows. A swing hung on the porch, where I spent most my time in the summer and fall reading. I ran inside, greeted by the smell of homemade chicken and dumplings. I walked into the kitchen smiling, and took a seat at the bar behind my dad who was to busy cooking to even notice me walk in.

"Hey!" I yelled.

He jumped, sending the bowlful of soup in his hands flying into the air. The soup splattered across the tiled floor and I couldn't help but laugh hysterically at his shocked expression as he looked down on the mess he had made.

"Your cleaning this up, Celia." He said sending me a playful glare.

"No way, your the clumsy one who cant hold their soup." I teased back. He laughed and I smiled at him. He didn't laugh much anymore, ever since mom passed away. I didn't blame him though, they say losing a mate is the most painful thing any wolf can go through, and a lot of the ones left behind don't even make it.

My mom was wonderful, she too, had the Gift of Nature. She had eyes exactly like mine, blue in the middle and green on the outside, earth and sky. I got my black hair from my dad though, hers was a soft light brown I always envied. She would always show me different ways to help things with my Gift, teach me how to use it, the beauty of it. She was so kind, always had a soft smile on her face and helped everyone she could. When I was 13, the Silver Claw pack attacked ours. They wanted it for territory and to gain more power, but when they found they were outnumbered, the went for something that would wound the pack more than killing a hundred warriors. The Luna and the Beta mate.

Our pack wasn't stupid, we knew during a battle they would be in the most danger, there was a safe room built for them underground hidden in the woods. This would have kept them safe had it been for the traitor in our pack. The third in command to our alpha had been secretly giving Silver Claw information, and that information included where to find the safe room. I was there with my mother when they found us, her and the Luna were fatally wounded, but still managed to take out their attackers before they could get to me. I watched as both her, and our Luna, took their last breaths.

Our pack nearly fell apart after such a loss, but my father and alpha knew that the Luna and my mom would want them to take care of us. There were people depending on them, and somehow, they both made it through. I admire them both so much for that.

My dad cleaned the mess off the floor and made me a bowl too. We ate together and I asked him how his day was. He sighed.

"You know the annual Full Moon Ball is coming up, correct?" He asked. Of course, I thought about it everyday. Since I turned 18 this year, I was required to go. Every year all the packs from all over the United States, go. My heart raced with fear, knowing there was no getting out of it.

"Yes, I know."

"This year, the Silver Claw pack is attending. Though the alpha who issued the attack on our pack is long since dead, his son, Luca Michaels, has taken over, and I hear him to be just as cruel." I could hear the pain in his voice, and knew speaking of that day hurt him terribly, but I'm glad he told me.

I couldn't help but feel angry at the thought of him attending. This was a ball for respectful packs, and though he could do no harm to anyone there, knowing what his father did, what he took from us, was enough to make me feel hatred for his son, and all who stand with him, he shouldn't be welcome to an event such as this.

"I'm so sorry dad. At least the first Alpha Michaels is dead. Maybe they will decided not to attend? They don't seem like a very sociable pack, especially from the stories I've heard of them." I sighed.

"Maybe.." He replied, standing and taking our bowls to the sink.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As I brushed my long black hair, I couldn't help but worry about the upcoming ball. Social events were not something I took part in. I had social anxiety, and the only place I felt truly comfortable and at peace was the forest. All the thoughts of things that could go wrong overwhelmed me and I started to feel a headache. Sighing, a placed the brush back on my vanity and went to my bed.

Crawling under the covers, I fell asleep quickly, but my sleep was haunted with the fear of meeting the son of the man who had my mother murdered.

I woke up the next morning still feeling tired, and the throbbing pain in my head made me want to lay still for the remainder of the day. Sighing, I got up slowly, brushing my hair, teeth, and finally dressing in a soft cream dress that stopped at my knees. I grabbed my favorite grey sweater, throwing it on over the dress, and made my way down the two sets of stairs that led to the first floor.

"I had Alecia begin on your gown today." My dad said from the kitchen table.

Alecia was the packs more eloquent designer. She made clothes for the alpha and beta and a lot of times for me. I knew if she was making it, it was going to turn out amazing.

"Oh, ok. Thank you. You gave her my sketch, right?" I asked him, making my way towards the front door.

"Yes, but I changed a few things about your sketch. Your the beta's daughter, you need to look like you belong at a ball." He told me.

I stopped, turning to look at him. "Changed a few things as in what, exactly?" I asked, my eyes narrowing. He knew I like the way I had designed the dress in my sketch, it was safe, it was me.

"Well, I told her to not make the sleeves as long and tighten them so they fit your arms and aren't baggy, she has your measurements so it'll be perfect. Also,

she suggested we add some jewels and remove the back of the dress, I agreed, and told her to make whatever improvements she proposed." He replied, setting the paperwork he'd been staring at down on the table.

"Dad! No! Call her and tell her no!"

"I can't, she's already started." He said, shrugging.

"You know I need my sleeves.. And the back of the dress open? Dad I cant.. I can't.. go like." My heart rate was increasing and I started to breath faster.

"Cecilia, breath. Its ok." He said calmly, standing and walking over to me.

"Its not ok." I said quietly.

"Your a wolf, a wolf who has the rarest of Gifts. You can't let something like this hold you back all your life. You have to find a way around it. I don't want this for you. I want you to go to that ball and talk, and dance. Your so beautiful, so talented, someday you'll be able to overcome this, I know it." He told me, giving me a hug.

"Thanks dad. I'll try." I replied, knowing there was no way around it, but if it made him feel better, thats what I'd tell him. "I'll go to the store and get some groceries by my self today, maybe that will help me." I told him, giving him a small smile, even though my heart was racing at the thought of it.

"Thats my girl." He smiled.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The pack's grocery store wasn't far from my home, just a short walk. Our house sat in the middle of the pack, beside the alphas home and the pack house. Smaller houses and shops surrounded us. I walked down the worn trail slowly, my attention focused on the flower I had picked in front of my house while leaving. I held it in my hand, making the petals grow, and another flower bloom beside it, I smiled.

When I made it to the store, I was happy to notice I couldn't see many people shopping, through the two large windows in the front of the building. I walked inside and grabbed a cart and began down the first isle. So far so good. Suddenly I heard loud voices enter the front and begin to walk around. Taking my hands off the cart, I re-adjusted my sweater so the sleeves were covering my hands. This was something I did when I was nervous, it helped me feel safe. Continuing down the isle I grabbed what I needed and was about to make my way to the exit when I was stopped.

"Celia!" A voice called. I froze. Turning around I saw it was one of the girls I went to school with, she was nice, but the people she was friends with, not as much.

"Oh, um, hi Ally." I said, smiling. I liked talking to Ally when it was only her. During school we had many classes together and she had basically forced me to talk to her until we became friends.

"How are you? I haven't seen you in forever!" She told me. I knew she was a hugger, and was really having toehold herself back here, but she knew I didn't like hugs.

"I'm good. Just doing some shopping." I said shyly, thinking it may have sounded stupid that I just stated the obvious.

"Well I'm glad your trying to get out more, it'll be good for you." She said sincerely. "See ya around." She smiled.

"Bye.."

After paying for the groceries and getting them home I decided it had been too long since I'd seen my best friend, Leah. Leah was the only person beside my dad that I was 100% confident to be myself around. She had been there since the beginning, and never left my side. She always tried to push me out of my comfort zone, but was respectful of my feelings when something was too much for me. Leah was someone who completely understood me, and I loved her for that, and everything else.

"Leaahhhh" I said into the phone.

"Ugh, what do you want?" She asked.

"You want to come over, I'm so bored." I told her.

"Be over in a few." The line went dead and I laughed.

A few minutes later I heard the door open and close and then someone racing up the stairs. Leah ran into my room like a crazy person and jumped on my bed, face planting into the pillows.

"Whats wrong with you?" I asked, laughing.

"I'm going on vacation." She said sadly. "In Hawaii, this week."

"What?! Why are you sad about that? Thats awesome!" A said, confused.

"Because the ball is this week, which means I'll have to miss it!" She said

removing her face from the pillows.

"Oh.." That means I'll be alone at the ball. "Crap."

"Crap indeed, Celia. I thought I might find my mate." She grumbled.

After a while of talking, we decided to go on a run, since neither of us had been in a while. We walked to the spot in the trail that held a few large trees and places to change and leave our clothes. I was excited to shift and run, I hadn't all week, and I really needed to. Shifting was easy, soon the world around my was clearer and smells and sounds, more defined.

I walked out from behind my tree, waiting for Leah. She walked out, her wolf a light grey, Healing. My wolf was pure black except for the gold that streaked through my fur, another thing that made Nature wolves so unique.

We took off running, weaving through the trees and leaping over the fallen branches. The wind was cool this time of the year, fall coming to and end and winter just around the corner. As we ran, I breathed in the cold air, loving the feeling of it. We ran for a while before finally stopping at a small stream, getting a drink.

"Do you think you'll find him?" Leah's words echoed through my head. All the wolves of the pack were able to communicate through mind link in their wolf forms, but only mates could while in human form.

"Maybe. I don't know. If your not there I doubt I'll be running around chatting with strangers." I replied.

"Celia, you have to try visiting with other packs at some point, or you may never find him." She told me, giving me a pointed look I recognized even with her being a wolf.

"I know, I'll do my best." I said honestly, knowing if I didn't at least try, I'd end up alone. "Lets get back."

The ball was tomorrow and I was close to having a nervous break down. I'd promised Leah before shed left I'd try to talk to at least one member from a pack I'd never met, but the thought of keeping this promise had me wishing I'd never made it in the first place. I sighed, deciding a nice warm bath would help me relax.

After I got out I brushed and dried my hair, and then brushed my teeth. My tan face had been washed and was free of any blemishes, which made me happy. I thought about how I might do my makeup tomorrow. I didn't usually wear much, some eyeliner, mascara, a little concealer when needed, but I had a feeling that wouldn't do for tomorrow. I put some moisturizer on my face, some chapstick on my lips, and snuggled up under my covers, hoping the stress of tomorrow wouldn't keep me from sleeping.

-Author's Note-

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you continue to read and enjoy this story. The second photo at the top is Cecelia :)