Caleb

Women are strange things.

Even soaked through her shoes and muddier than a country kid, Hailey looked real pretty in the Manassas rain. But she hadn’t looked my way in at least ten miles or said two words since we left the tree house.

Any other morning I wouldn’t have minded the quiet, but today the silence was getting under my skin. I tried to pretend that the whole kissing thing had nothing to do with it, that maybe she was itching to get on the road or something. But I wasn’t much of a liar so fooling myself didn’t work out too well.

Every other time I’d kissed her, she had something to say about it. Whether she screamed at me or had some kind of punch, kick, or five-star ready to put me in my place, I’d gotten used to her way of dealing with things.

But this time, it felt like she might have been alright with me doing what I did. That, or she was real pissed. Either way, she had me scared half to death, enough to keep me a good couple steps behind her.

        "Slow down, Hailey. You won’t get to where you’re going walking off trail like that.”

She stayed quiet, like she hadn’t heard a thing I’d said, and kept trudging on through the mud ‘til it got too thick for her to walk through. She stood there huffing and cursing worse than any girl should, trying to pull her legs out of wet Virginia clay on her own. City girls.

        “Need help?”

        “I’m fine, Caleb.”

        “Guess that’s why you’re stuck up to your ankles.”

I didn’t mean to laugh at her, honest, but seeing her sticking outta the mud like an angry twig was too much. She whipped her head around and shot me dead with those spitfire eyes of hers.

Staring at the rain cutting rivers through the dirt felt safer than picking a fight with that girl. I would’ve warned her to watch her step earlier if she’d let me, but up until she got stuck, she seemed more interested in pretending I didn’t exist than asking for help.

If it were up to me, I would’ve carried her to Charlottesville from my dad’s, but I hardly had it in me to keep steady on my feet. It wasn’t like she would’ve let me tell her what to do anyway.

Hailey did what she wanted, whether I was happy about it or not. She could crack walnuts with that head if she wanted to.

The rain came slicing through the trees on the heels of a gust from the south. Soon as we left the tree house, all that pretty light we woke up died away. The woods went quiet about five miles into the trek. Trees talk, and I should’ve known to listen the second they stopped whispering.

But with Hailey being how she was, I had a hard time focusing on too much of anything. Liam might’ve been right about what he’d said after all, paying too much attention to this girl probably was gonna get me killed. If flood rains were on the way, he’d win that bet sooner than he thought.

The skies started growling, low enough for me to know a bad storm was coming. Everything from dead leaves, to oak branches whipped to life around the both of us. If Hailey knew what was good for her, she’d let me pull her out of that mud before we ended up swimming to Charlottesville.

        “Just say the word and I’ll get you out, Hailey.”

        “I said I was fine.”

She went right back to trying to yank herself free, shoes and all. She would’ve lied to me ten times over so long as it kept me from touching her.

Every time I tried to grab a hold of her, she’d move away. The first couple times I figured maybe she was playing around, but she kept dodging me like some kinda disease.

After a little while, my gut gave out, like I’d lost my nerve and dignity all at the same time, and I snapped. Just snapped. Stopped caring about what she thought of me, leaned out as far as I could, and pulled her back on to solid ground.

Hailey flew into me so hard she knocked me straight off my feet and down on the dirt. Her shoulder crashed into my ribs about half as hard as Liam’s fists had back in the cold room. The burn of bruised bones exploded up my back, and ripped right through the morphine.

She jumped off of me as soon as she saw my face and turned whiter than Birch bark, like she suddenly remembered how to feel something. She kept saying she was sorry, and asking if I was okay, but the more she asked, the less I wanted to answer.

        “Caleb, I’m sorry.”

        “Don’t worry about it, let’s just get outta here."

I rolled forward a little too fast, like I was fine, hoping she wouldn’t catch my bluff.

Trying to get up on my own felt like a good idea when I started out, but I couldn’t even get to my knees without her. The second she touched me, my insides bunched up so tight I thought I’d pass out or puke.

Looking at her up close made everything worse. Bile shot up the back of my throat whenever she blinked at me with those damn eyelashes, so I slammed my eyes shut ‘til I got to my feet.  

Hailey’s hand slid around my waist so fast I almost couldn’t stop her from trying to keep me steady.  She had the softest fingers I’d ever felt, but I shoved them away, like letting them go was easy.

        “Why are you still standing here? I told you to go, so go. I don’t want your help,” I said.

All the pretty things about her face faded a little when I yelled at her. I shouldn’t have, but my blood was burning so badly I couldn’t help it.

        “I didn’t mean to crash into you, Caleb, but you won’t even let me apologize.”

        “What’ll it matter if you do? I said not to worry about it, so quit. It’s done. Just walk.”

The wind kicked up before she could say anything. Good thing it did or she probably would’ve been yelling. It wasn’t like I didn’t wanna hear her out, but I was scared to. Ma used to say that you could tell how much you meant to a person from how they said they were sorry.

If Hailey up and said those words without any heart behind them, I’d know I didn’t mean anything to her. But she was it for me, whether she knew it or not. If I didn’t have her, I didn’t have anybody.

The downpour wouldn’t let up and neither did I. As soon as I had the chance, I started in on her again, like getting angry was gonna fix things. Lately, crying and shouting felt like the only things I knew how to do.

        “What’s with you, Hailey? You’re acting like I did something wrong," I said.

        “What are you talking about?”

        “You tell me. You’ve been dodging me for nearly four hours.”

        "That's not true. ”

        “Then look at me.”

She couldn’t. Even after getting called out, she kept staring around or above me, like I didn’t notice. I did.

        “Just drop it, Caleb.”

        “Is this about this morning? If it is, then I’m sorry, alright? It was a mistake.”

I didn’t mean that. Not a word.  But I needed to see something change in her, something that I could hope for or hold on to, even if it was next to nothing. I could live with next to nothing, ‘cause at the least it meant I wasn’t alone in feeling this way about somebody.

She stood there listening to the rain and ignoring me. The storm gave her more peace than I could. I wasn’t gonna leave her alone ‘til she told me the truth. But determination didn’t do much, ‘cause she went right back to pretending she hadn’t heard a thing I’d said.

Hailey looked out at the woods, like she could see the way to go, like she knew the trails better then I did. She didn’t have a clue where she was or where she was going, but started plowing over puddles and dead logs without picking up the conversation.

I'd spent more time out in these woods finding roads away from my dad’s than she’d spent on the run. She didn't have a chance in hell unless she let me lead, and I planned on doing just that.

        "You're headed the wrong way, princess."

        "You told me to go, so I’m going. You never said which direction,” she said

        "You never asked.”

I picked out the nearest dead tree and cracked off a branch to use as a crutch. I caught up with Hailey, but damn near killed myself hobbling over all the rock traps, fallen trees, and flood streams.

        “Trail’s that way. I know these trees from here to Culpeper. Marked them up the few times I tried running out on my dad. You're not the only runaway around here."

She stopped dead, and half-looked at me over her shoulder. Thank God for that. Another one of those full-on glares would’ve killed me.

        "When were you planning on saying something?” She asked.

        “Whenever you planned on listening. I asked you a question earlier, I want an answer."

She found the nearest tree big enough for to her lean on and slumped up against it. Only a city girl would make that kind of mistake in the middle of a thunderstorm.

I reached for her wrist and she wriggled away from me for the eighteenth time. Like I said, women are strange things.

        “What’s wrong with you?” I asked.

        “Stop asking me that. I just wanna get out of the rain,” she said.

I pinned her against the tree so she couldn’t slip her way out of an answer.

        “I don’t believe you.”

I brushed my fingers under her chin and lifted her head up 'til we were eye to eye. Even with her hair messy, make up washed to hell, and lips pursed tight enough to leave wrinkles, I wanted her to look at me.

Really look at me, like she did back at the tree house. Cornering her might have been a little selfish, but liking someone makes you that way.

        “What do you want me to say, Caleb? That you’re right? ‘Cause as much as I don’t want you to be, you are.”

Being right was more scary than satisfying.

        “I don’t know how to be around you anymore. I thought I could get my head around what happened this morning, but you put an end to that pretty quickly. If you thought it was a mistake, then I guess that’s what it was," she said.

        “I didn’t mean that."

        “Then why’d you say it?”

Hailey glanced up and looked right through me, like she’d figured out all the places I liked to hide in myself whenever I tried to run from her.

Her eyes bunched up at the corners the way they did whenever she tried to stop herself from crying. Seeing her like that, even with all that rain soaking through my skin, left my mouth drier than dust.

Whoever said white lies never hurt anybody, never told one. Maybe mine was a little worse than a white lie, ‘cause I regretted it ever coming out of my mouth.

I had to step into Cillian’s shoes to finally get what he meant when he said to read him backwards, ‘cause without even knowing, I’d expected Hailey to do the same. But nobody should ever have to. Especially her.

        “Hailey, I messed up.”

        “It’s fine, Caleb. Like you said, don’t worry about it. Just lead the way.”

She stepped off the trunk and waited for me to pull myself together enough to get back on the trail. I cocked my arm back and sent my fist flying into the thick grooved bark of that tree so I’d remember what lying felt like.

I wanted to remember the skin-ripping-sting and the sight of my blood on the wood so I’d never do it again.

Hailey’s eyes fell on me. She didn’t know I knew she was looking, but I did. I wanted her to see how sorry I was, even if I didn’t say it. I was mad myself not her. Mad ‘cause I’d started to want her too much. Mad ‘cause I couldn’t do anything about it.

Something snapped a couple feet away from where Hailey was standing. Her scream cut through the air. Lightening scattered across the sky and lit up the woods enough for me to see a silhouette moving towards her.

I shook the fear off my shoulders, forced my body back to life, and I broke into a sprint while Hailey’s shadow drowned in somebody else’s flashlight.

        “Hold it right there, young man.”

A crazy haired old lady came hobbling out from behind Hailey like a goblin. Scared the skin off of me. As many times as I’d come by this trail, I’d never seen anyone walking around these woods after dusk.

She couldn’t have been more than five feet, but the jerky tough look on her face told me she meant business. Southern girls never lose their grit.

        “Come up on outta the shadows so I can get a good look at you. Slowly now, or I’ll lay you out quicker than you can count if you try anything funny, boy.”

I stepped up next to Hailey and grabbed her hand as soon I could reach it. She dug her nails into my skin so hard I thought she’d leave scars.

Grandma Crackpot fixed her shotgun on me with one hand and held her flashlight in the other. As funny looking as she was, I didn’t test her. Guns weren’t for game playing.

        “You gotta name, boy?”

        “Caleb, ma’am.”

        “And your girl’s name?”

        “Hailey.”

        “Did either of ya’ll see a hunting dog run by here? He’s tri-colored, name’s Huck, he’s got a good bark on him?”

        “No, ma’am, me and her were just passing through.”

She was outta her mind walking out in storm this bad for some dog. I glanced over at Hailey but she wasn’t looking at me. She had her eyes on that old lady with a kind of sadness I didn’t understand right away.

Maybe seeing somebody else looking for something they loved got her thinking about how lost she was. No matter how many times me or my brothers tried to justify what we did to her, nothing about it was right.

I’d put her through hell and a lot of heartache. The least I could do was give her back her freedom and her family.

        “I’m sure he’ll find his way home, Mrs.—”

        “Georgia Jane Lee, but ya’ll can call me Georgia. I didn’t mean to startle you earlier, but there’s black bears ‘round here. Can’t be too careful.”

She lowered her shotgun and the tension in my muscles washed away with the rain. Just looking at anything with bullets and a trigger was enough for my gunshot wound to start feeling brand new again.

        “Ya’ll lost?” She asked.

        “No, ma’am. We just got caught out camping in the woods at a bad time is all,” I said.

        “He dragged you out here didn’t he, missy? You don’t look much like the roughing type but he’s a different story. He’s got wild eyes, like they was made for trouble.”

Hailey cracked a guilty smile like she thought Georgia was a riot. She wasn’t all that great to me, just an old lady who talked more than I could listen.

        “Speaking a’ trouble why are you wearing that jacket instead a’ her, boy? The weather men are calling for floods tonight and you don’t even have enough gentleman in you to give her your jacket? Go on and cover her up before she freezes to death.”

        “Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

      “Sorry nothing, don’t apologize to me. She’s the one drenched through her clothes. Ain’t you heard of the radio? Next time you wanna get out into these woods, buy yourself one. I’m sixty-seven years old and even I know that.”

        “Yes, ma’am.”

I quit talking ‘cause I was tired of having to answer for everything I said.

        “Where ya’ll headed anyway?” She asked.

Hailey’s face lit up.

        “Charlottesville. My mom’s down there.”

        “That’s at least a day and a half walking, but the way ya’ll look, I’d guess it’ll take you three, give or take. Ya’ll got somewhere to stay?”

        “No, but we don’t want to be any trouble,” Hailey said.

        “What trouble? The only trouble I see is the kind you and your fella are gonna run into if you stay outside. I got a little farm about a half a mile from here, if ya’ll are alright with helping me find Huck in the morning, ya’ll can stay the night.”

Hailey dug her fingers into me again to make sure I took up the offer. As flap jawed as Mrs. Lee was, I knew better than to turn down a dry place to sleep.

        “That’s real nice of you, ma’am,” I said.

        “I told you to call me Georgia, young man. Ma’am makes me feel like an old timer.”

 She was.

        “Alright then, Mrs. Georgia. Lead the way.”

Georgia trudged through a tough patch of thickets ahead of us, crashing the end of her shotgun into any bush or branch in her way. Hailey trailed behind me, but whenever I got too far away she’d run up and grab on to the edge of my t-shirt like she was scared she’d get lost if she didn’t keep up.

        “You know, I heard black bears usually eat stragglers. Better watch it, Hailey.”

        “Really? I heard they eat liars too.”

        “Guess I’m in trouble then.”

        “Looks like it.”

Hailey laced all five of her little fingers in between mine. She didn’t say a word about it just kept on walking like nothing had changed. Despite the rain, her hand felt like the warmest place in the world.

I kept telling myself that I could let go of her again if I wanted to, that something as simple as holding a girl’s hand wouldn’t turn me soft, but like I said, I’m not much of a liar.