Hailey

I dreamt about the rain. A rain so dark it seemed the world was bleeding. Bleeding rivers.

Caleb was with me, standing quiet in the middle of a crossroads. The tar under our feet sparkled like a reflection of a starry night, but there were no stars, just a dead sky. We held on to each other hard enough to feel the warmth fading through our clothes.

Caleb’s eyes lit up in reds and blues from the police lights around us—an army of sirens with no sound. The cops boxed us in, and pointed every gun they could at our backs. Two shots into the silence and I was suddenly without him, suddenly alone.

I woke up screaming. Terrified of a premonition masquerading as a dream. Caleb’s dad came running into the room where he’d left us and found me in tears, sprawled out next to his son at his bedside.

I must’ve looked crazy—crying until I was red in the face. I’d only known Caleb for twenty-four hours. His father came close to losing a son after seventeen years.

He should’ve left me in the rain, but he’d been kind enough to take me into his home without so much as a question. He’d hardly said a word on the car ride over, just introduced himself as Jack and didn’t think to ask my name. It was safer to keep it secret.

On the ride over, Jack kept his eyes fixed on the road and the rear view. I held my breath waiting for him to recognize my face or turn on the radio and find out the truth, but he didn’t.

Even if he’d asked me to explain what we’d been through, I didn’t have it in me to tell him—for Caleb’s sake and his. How do you tell a father that he’s lost all of his sons but one?

Jack leaned down and helped me get to my feet so I wouldn’t disturb Caleb. I looked back at him as I left the room, newly terrified of the idea that he’d disappear if we left him alone.

Jack squeezed the soft part of my shoulder and reassured me for the eleventh or twelfth time that Caleb was fine, just sleeping, and that he’d pull through with some rest.  

Caleb needed to go back to being responsible for himself and only himself. I could get to Charlottesville without him. He could live with his dad again. He’d be safe here, safer than he would be following me.

Making it to Charlottesville with him was a dying dream. In the morning, I’d ask Jack how to find my way south through the woods and take off before Caleb could say anything. I didn’t want him to have a chance to.

Jack led me through the hallways and into the kitchen where a plate of bacon and eggs was waiting for me. I hadn’t eaten in over twelve hours, and spent the day so terrified I’d hardly noticed the hunger.

Breakfast at 3:00 a.m. was better than worrying on an empty stomach.  He pulled out a chair for me at one end of the table and helped me sit down.

I half-believed he was as good of a person as he seemed, but sitting across from him as weak and dependent as I was, made me uneasy. There was a point when I wholeheartedly believed that everyday people weren’t capable of evil, but surviving the slaughterhouse only proved the opposite.

Jack looked too much like Liam in the low light, and I knew better than to trust a familiar face.

        “Please, eat as much as you like. There’s more for if you’re still hungry,” he said 

He stared up at me through the steam rising over the edge of his mug. His hands were so big I hadn’t noticed he was holding anything. He didn’t look anymore like the tea drinking type than Liam looked sweet and gentle.

        “Thanks, Mr. Evans.”

       “Call me Jack. Mr. Evans is dead and gone and I’m glad for it. What did you say your name was?”

        “H—Hannah.”

He narrowed his eyes, just enough for me to know he didn’t believe a word I’d said. Liars screw up the little things, and I was making a mess of the basics. I locked eyes with my plate and kept them there until he took his gaze off me.

        “Beautiful name. If I’d been lucky enough to have a daughter I would’ve given her a nice name like that. I had four sons instead. Caleb’s my youngest,” he said.

I tried to look innocent, like I didn’t know about the other boys and the horrible ways they’d died. I nodded and smiled like it didn’t hurt, stuck my fork into an overcooked sausage, and shoved it into my mouth so I could avoid answering.

Chewing would buy me some time to make up a story, and staring at a plate full of eggs meant I didn’t have to look at Jack.  

        “So Hannah, it was Hannah wasn’t it?”

I swallowed down another Jimmy Dean before I could correct him.

        “I’ve got a number of questions for you, but I’ll stick to the simplest ones for now. You’ve had quite the night from the looks of it.”

Jack cleaned me up when first got to the house. He bandaged my cuts, and found me a change of clothes—a pair of women’s overalls, and a white bubble sleeved shirt.

For a man living alone, I was surprised he had anything feminine at all. The clothes smelled faintly of someone else. Like spiced honey and lily flowers. I showered before I put them on, I didn’t want to ruin whatever memory was left lingering in the fabric.

        “How do you know my son?” He asked.

I placed my knife and fork across my plate and answered him without breaking a sweat.

        “We’re seeing each other.”

Jack nearly spilled his tea on the table.

        “Are you now? I was worried Caleb would have trouble getting a girl being as scrawny as he is."

        “I like my guy a little on the scrawny side, it suits him.”

Jack leaned back in his chair and dug a Marlboro out of his shirt pocket.

        “To each her own, Hannah. God knows why my wife married me. But I’m glad for the both of you. How long’s it been?”

        “Nine months,” I said, a little too quickly. A year seemed too standard. Six months would’ve been suspect. Nine sounded like a fine number in my head, until came out of my mouth.

        “Nine months? He must be in love. Normally, the boy’s shier than a fish. He’s a lucky man. Too lucky if you ask me.”

Caleb was a better man than they knew, just quiet about it. Some people needed the right circumstances to be at their best. Anyone who’d take a bullet for a total stranger or family was worth something. I wished his Dad and brothers could’ve seen that. They didn’t see him at all.

        “I think I’m the lucky one, sir. I can be closed off and self involved sometimes, but he helps me through it. He’s good for me, Jack. Sure he’s different, but he’s a good kind of different.”

My face flushed, like I meant some part of what I’d said. I didn’t. At least, I thought I didn’t.

        “No need to be embarrassed, Hannah. That face doesn’t lie. I’m glad he means something to somebody. Speaking a’ that, how is it, if you care so much for my boy, that he ended up in a field nearly dead this evening with you? Can’t imagine what kind of date would’ve ended that way.”

Jack stuck his cigarette into the kitchen table and watched the wood burn. His paper-thin façade disappeared as quickly as the smoke.

I looked at him straight, just like he wanted me to, and let my eyes wander across the deep grooves in his face. He grinned at me from across the table, proud that he’d won the game of catch the liar.

        “Do you want the truth, Jack? Or something easier for you to swallow?"

      “I’ve been waiting for you to stop lying to me for the past hour. So by all means, out with it, Hannah.”

        “It’s Hailey.”

        “Sounds familiar,” he mumbled.

        “I had a misunderstanding with the police this morning,”

        “And what kind of misunderstanding is that?”  He said.

        “It doesn’t matter what it was, but Caleb offered to help me.”

Jack’s face hardened the minute I mentioned Caleb’s involvement. I knew that expression so well, the subtle, bitter disappointment only expressed by fathers with impossible expectations.

        “He’s a stupid boy, getting himself involved with the likes of you.”

      “He’s not, Jack. Caleb’s just stuck in a bad situation because of me. I’ll be out of here in the morning. I just need a place to lay low for a few hours, and directions to Charlottesville from here. Give me that much and I’ll be gone by sunrise.”

Jack glared at me until his eyes glazed over but didn’t say another word. He stood up suddenly, like he’d been inspired by an idea more sinister than his secrets.

        “You should rest, Hailey.”

He pulled my chair out and told me to leave my dishes for him to handle. I had to listen, that’s all you can do when you’re not six feet tall and terrifying.

Jack led me back down the hallway and into a larger bedroom with two sets of empty bunk beds. The same smell of old books and pinewood that pervaded the slaughterhouse tinged the air. This was the home his sons came from but would never come back to.

The walls were plastered with model airplane posters, photographs of girls, cars, and stony faced family outings. Jack opened a closet in the corner and tossed me a blanket before I could finish looking around the room.

He walked me to the bunk furthest from the door and watched me climb into bed. My throat closed in faster than walls. Jack had led me to a place where no one would hear me. Caleb couldn’t help me even if he wanted to. There weren’t any unlocked windows. There wasn’t a way out.

        “Give me your hands darling.”

I choked down the burning urge to scream when he took me by the wrists and whipped me towards the bed. He forced his weight against my body until I broke the silence with sobs.

He zip tied my hands to the bed and left me writhing against the mattress.

       “Sleep well, princess. The police will be here for you in the morning.”

        “They’ll kill me,“ I said.

        “I don’t care what happens to you, love.”

        “They’ll kill Caleb. He’s in a lot more trouble than you think.”

Jack clamped his hand around my jaw hard enough to break it.

        “Nobody threatens me, girlie. Nobody.”

      “The cops will. If you give me up they’ll know he’s with me and they’ll burn this house to the ground with you in it just to smoke him out. It’s your choice.”

Jack loosened his grip a finger at a time leaving my skin bruised wherever he’d touched. He stepped off the bed and pounded his fist into the wood post just inches away from my face.

        “I’ll tell you what. If the cops take a second too long to arrest you tomorrow, I’ll drag you down to the station me’ self. I promise you that, and I’m a man of my word, Anderson.”

Had Liam been in his place, he would’ve killed me. No questions asked. But Jack was looked at me different, like he was tired—too tired to be as angry as he wanted to be.

        “If you kill me my Dad will pay you off, Jack. The cops are in on it too. I hear I’m worth a couple thousand. Do it, you could use the money, ” I said.

Jack un-bunched his fist and let it fall to his side.

       “Stop talking nonsense.“

       “I’m not. I’m tired. They’ll figure out where I am no matter where I go. If you take care of me, you and Caleb can live off whatever my dad gives you. You’ll be doing him a favor.”  

The truth stung worse than the tears in my eyes. Laying there at another man’s mercy, at the end of my rope, I wasn’t above begging for an easy escape.

I’d spent the day fighting to keep breathing, thinking about my Mom, and hoping to get home, only to come here to discover that survival was a fleeting daydream. My life before today didn’t feel real anymore. Mom didn’t feel real anymore. Neither did I.

       “Don’t you do that. Don’t you ask for death like you understand it. You’re too young to understand anything,” he said.

He wouldn’t look at me straight.

        “You had it in your eyes earlier. You would’ve done anything to shut me up. I’m giving you the chance to,” I said.

        “I won’t touch you again. You’re out of your mind for asking that. If the police have plans for you, I’ll let them do what they need to. Rest before the sun’s up.”

He turned his back to me and flipped off the light before he walked out. I didn’t want to be alone tonight, but Caleb was rooms away. The sheets smelled like him, like sandalwood and old spice. The familiarity made me a little less lonely.

I tried to sleep but was too afraid to dream—too afraid to think about rain, or siren lights, or gunshots in the dark. So I told myself a story, a story about a clumsy girl at a train station, and the blue-eyed boy who saved her life before the police could take it.