I'll swear each night to let you go, yet love you more by dawn.
-Lang Leav

Darcy

When I came too, I was surprised to see my next door neighbor, Alex, placing a damp cloth to my forehead. The second I tried to move, it felt like someone had stuck thousands of tiny meddles in my head and I blink twice as I let out a loud groan.

"Shh, don't try to move." He murmurs and I could literally feel the sting of tears fighting to burst free.

I can't remember the last time I was this vulnerable around someone, let alone a guy and I mentally beat myself up for allowing my own mother to get the upper hand. If only Denise could see me now.

My body betrayed me as a few stray tears escaped and Alex was quick to wipe them away.

"I know you don't wanna talk about it but-"

"Then don't!"

I didn't mean to snap at him. I was just embarrassed and ashamed. I felt weak and fragile and the last thing I needed was some dogooder reminding me of how much of a weakling, I was.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"It's okay, I understand... I really do. Just lie here for a bit and when you wake back up, you can go to your apartment. Does that sound good?"

I smiled up at him and he pulled the covers closer to my chin, alerting me to the fact that we were in his apartment and on his bed.

I didn't know how long it took me to fall asleep or when I did but when I reopened my eyes, Alex was gone and a short Hispanic beauty was bringing me what looked to be a bowl of soup.

"Hi there, you must be Darcy."

She spoke in a slight accent and all I could do was smile as I wasn't sure if I could nod.

"I'm Julia, Alex's girlfriend. He stepped out for a bit but told me if you're up to it, you could head back to your place."

I slowly sat up as she placed the tray on the bed and ran a slow hand through my now messy hair as I tried to keep it out of my face.

"Thank you."

"It's no biggie. I'm just glad you're just his neighbor."

I raised a skeptical eye at her and she tried to hide her embarrassment as she straightened his already neat desk.

"Lets just say, it was weird walking in on him in his room while another girl was between the sheets."

It was my turn to be embarrassed and I bit my lip as I could just imagine the scene. "You don't have anything to worry about" I assured. "I don't do guys."

Her eyes were wide for a minute before she cleared her throat and pushed off of the desk she once braced. "Well, if you need me, I'll be in the living room." With that said, she was gone and I was once more, alone.

It only took me half an hour to finish the bowl of soup, struggle to get up and head over to my place before I was sitting on my own bed, phone in hand. My phone had been blowing up with calls from my boss, Asha, Jane and a few other persons and I ignored them all as I curled into a ball and went back to sleep.

-

I probably woke a few hours later judging from the darkness of my room and I pushed the sheet from around me just as a flash of lightening hit only to be followed up by loud clashes of thunder. The breeze that howled from outside my window caused the few trees surrounding my apartment complex to make weird noises and I just knew a storm was passing over.

We had managed to steer clear of storms for a few weeks now but as I heard car alarms going off below me I knew it was only going to get more prevalent. Another bright light lit up the sky outside before plunging my room into darkness once more and it sounded as though the skies were in an argument from how insane the thunder sounded.

I barely heard my phone ringing and I tried futilely to search for the device only to inevitably come up empty. Feeling my way around the small room, I flipped the light switch and upturned my bag before I hurriedly answered the call on the last ring.

"Hello?" I shouted as the rain increased its mad downpour.

"Dar- its- the- in - you?" The person on the other end of the line said but due to all the static they were hard to make out.

"Hello?! I can't hear you, you're breaking up!"

I placed a hand to cover my exposed ear and listened closely.

"It's me, are you okay? The storm is picking up out here." My boss shouted and one glance at my alarm clock told me that it was after eight, signifying I'd slept for most of the day.

"Oh shoot, I totally slept past the hour." I responded, shouting so she could hear me.

"It's okay, I kinda figured you'd need some rest. Why don't you stay home and I'll see you when -orm -ver." The line went dead and I placed my cell on my bed as I headed to my bathroom to take a shower since the last time I did so was just before the wedding.

The water was hot and steaming when I stepped underneath and I moaned as I allowed my entire body to be drenched. There was a stinging at the back of my head, a cold reminder of the past few hours and I groaned as I tried to ignore the pain.

Pushing thoughts of today out of my mind, I grabbed my soap and was about to lather my skin when I heard loud, incessant banging on my front door. Rolling my eyes in irritation I shut off the water and prayed that it wasn't my parents back for a rematch. Ignoring my towel, I trudged towards the door as I really wasn't in the mood to have my ass handed to me by a 44 year old woman.

"What?!" I snapped as I pulled the door open, ignoring the few droplets of water that dripped from me and landed on the floor, creating a puddle.

Jane's hand stopped in mid knock and her alarmed face took in my nakedness before her eyes snapped to mine as she attempted to hide her blush.

"Am... hi."

I didn't know if my face had succeeded in remaining blank or not but I was sure surprised to see Jane standing in front of my apartment when I was the one that was supposed to see her. My initial thought was just to pull her into my arm and kiss her with all I possessed since that was all I wanted to do and having my mom show up and try to murder me really placed things into perspective. My second thought was to get angry at her and kick her out for having her crazy mother show up and literally buse, insult and threaten me, but instead, my mind had a different approach and I found myself being a sarcastic idiot that even I didn't recognize.

"Is there a reason why you're standing drenched in front of my apartment banging on my door as though you were George of the jungle?"

"Am... can I come in?"

I withheld my eye roll as I stepped to the side to allow her entry then closed the door behind her, ignoring the two puddles that we were now causing.

"So?"

"Ah... you're naked."

"And you're here... but that's just stating the obvious."

Jane rolls her eyes and begins to strip out of her wet clothing and since it was my place I didn't spare her the decency of looking away.

"I wanted to talk to you." She says absentmindedly, throwing her hoodie and hair ties near the closed door. I watched as yet another wet spot was being created but I couldn't find it in me to care.

"You're really something else, Jane."

"I know my mom came to see you today, and believe me when I say, things did not end well-"

"I'm supposed to feel better because you yelled at your mom a bit?"

"No, I-"

"She showed up at my place of employment, embarrassed me, insulted my client and was rude to my boss and yet you want me to feel fine cause you 'had a conversation' with your mom."

"It's not like that-"

"So what is it like Jane?! I keep putting myself on the line for you. I wait for you, I cry over you like some damn lost puppy and even when I have a good thing right in front of me, confessing how much she loves me, I can't even reciprocate because all I can think about is you."

"And I feel the same way-"

"Do you?! You have a boyfriend. You've only dated boys... and I don't know what that's like because all I've ever known was how to love girls. I don't have the luxury of falling in love with whomever I choose. This isn't a game for me, I can't pick, choose and refuse whenever I feel like. When I love, it's the real deal and even when I know I should walk away, I can't."

"I love you Darcy."

"Do you? Because I seem to remember when I said I loved you, that I was willing to fight for you, for us... you up and left and came back months later with a guy-"

"We broke up."

I stopped talking at her words and my eyes focused on hers.

"I never wanted to be with him. I was alone in a strange place and scared. I'd just lost the only real thing in my life and he was a good friend to me... but we both knew it wasn't real... what we had, what we were pretending to be... I've always loved you Darcy... I've always wanted you."

"Jane-"

"And I'm done trying to wait on you to make the first move."