Chapter 11

I felt like screaming! I don't know, beat something, tear something apart, take out my anger my confusion out on something. My lungs feel like their going to burst, I'm panting but I don't care and keep running. Spotting one of those parks I run into it and slow down to a walk hearing the dead leaves crunch under my shoes and families laugh and play. A baseball hits me and plummets to the ground, I pick up the worn out ball and look around seeing a young girl running up to me with a baseball glove in her hand.

"Sorry! Sorry! My dad and I were playing baseball!!!"

She pants and I give her the ball, this girl doesn't look like she's ever played baseball before and there's a faint glimmer of disapproval as though she doesn't even enjoy it.

"Do you like baseball?"

"Well he does but I don't. But dad's been away on a business trip for a long time and now that he's back I want to spend every minute with him!"

She smiles at me before running back to her father. My heart begins to ache, I never knew how homesick I was until I ran into her. I remember what it's like to be afraid, afraid of dad leaving and never coming back, afraid of being alone. Every time he came back I would follow him everywhere, I liked the music he liked, he wore a leather jacket and so did I, I mimicked everything he did in the hopes that maybe I could get him to stay. But he always left without a word and never came back until the following weeks to come.

The tears threaten to come and I swallow them down as I begin to run in the secluded part of the park. All of my pent up emotions were threatening a melt down, I needed to hide to go far far away where no one can help me. I find a shaded tree-like area where there is hardly anyone and I sit against a tree finally letting the icy tears stream down my face.

It's become a force of habit to cry where no one can find me, if my dad ever found me depressed or sad he'd give me this look of disappointment and say he thought I was stronger then this. Or I would hear him preach that crying is a weakness and if I don't toughen up I'll be pathetic for the rest of my life.

But is it really so wrong to cry?

"Scarlet? Scarlet!"

I look up to see Agent Teresa running up to me making me hastily wipe the tears away. I refuse to be pathetic, I am a strong girl and I can fend for myself!

"Sweetie are you okay?"

Teresa's POV

"Do I look okay?

She snaps at me but relents and looks away, covering her face with her hand the tears continuing to stream down her face. I sit next to her and pull her close letting the girl cry it out.

"I-I just want my dad!"

She sobs.

"Shh-shh why don't you tell me what's going on?"

I wait for her to calm down, gently stroking her hair in a form of comfort.

"It's too complicated."

She whispers.

"Can you tell me about your friend at least?"

"What's there to tell? We were friends practically sisters and then she took her life end of story."

"I don't believe you and I don't think you do either."

"..."

"Scarlet, I'm more or less a stranger to you. There's no harm in telling me because once you're reunited with your father we will never see each other again."

Those teary, puffy eyes look up at me full of confusion.

"You believe me then?"

"You haven't given me reason not to."

"Oh..."

"If you don't want to talk about it then you don't have to, but Scarlet you should understand that depression will eat you alive."

Scarlet sits up a little avoiding eye contact with me and staring straight at the ground. It hurts me to see her so lost and confused but I know that if I point that out she'll shut down.

"I have a secret that I only ever told Julia which caused her to believe that something bad must of happened to me."

Scarlet's beautiful blue eyes tear up again, the once striking sky blue clouding her vision.

"I told Julia not to but she didn't listen and looked into it anyway! No one ever listens to me!"

Her frail form begins to shake, the tears streaming down her face once more.

"One day she didn't answer the phone, I remember because my phone was in the kitchen and I only ever go there when my father's home."

Scarlet hastily wipes away the tears.

"He came home later then usual and when I voiced my concern over Julia he offered to take me to her place. That's-there was a knife and-and!"

"Shhh shh it's okay, I'm here for you. You don't have to continue if you don't want to."

After a while she calms down, the sorrow turning into fury.

"Julia was the happiest person I had ever met! There was no depression but no one listened to me! I-I went to the police and they pushed me towards counseling saying I was in shock. But don't you get it!? I killed her! I told her my secret and the next day she ends up dead!? Julia's death is my fault! It's all my fault!"

"Can I ask how your father reacted?"

"He called me pathetic. Said I should be stronger then this and yelled at me that I wasn't depressed. Dad was furious that I had gone to the police and claimed that counseling was a waste of his money."

"He said that to you!?"

Scarlet merely nods and plays with the hem of her jacket.

"It's okay, I shouldn't have gone to the police in the first place. Dad already has a lot of pressure placed on him due to the divorce."

"Scarlet that is not okay, no child should go through that! I don't care what his reasons are you don't treat someone that way! Victims of depression need to be heard and protected, they need love and attention not verbal abuse!"

The girl blinks in surprise.

"Wow...you seem really passionate about this."

"My father was very abusive and nothing I could do stopped him."

"Yeah? My mother is abusive, she drinks and attacks me but only when my dad goes on his business trips."

"Does he know about this or did he yell about that to?"

"No actually when I finally told him he divorced her immediately and kicked her out of the house. We just need her to sign the dotted line and it's a done deal. He isn't abusive Tess, it's just that when he's stressed he has a tendency to be very angry that's all."

I let out a sigh, her testimony so far is to identical to mine and sadly I said the same things about my father when he was still alive. What is Jane going to do when I tell him? At least, from what she's told me, her father is only verbal. That explains her dependency towards him, but it doesn't explain why she ran away.

"What made you run away?"

"..."

"Scarlet?"

"My mother. I came home from school and she had broken into our house so yeah. Mom demanded to know where dad was so I told her the truth-that he was on a business trip- and she became furious and yelled at me 'You're not even my daughter so how dare he gives you more attention then he ever gave me'. Then she chased me out of the house and into traffic so I just kept running."

"Oh Scarlet..."

"Don't try to convince me that my father is abusive! He's not! In fact my father is the only one who has ever paid any attention to me!"

"Sweetheart I need you to calm down, was that the only time he attacked you? When you were pushed towards counseling?"

"Yes!"

"So other then that one time he really has taken care of you?"

Her anger begins to fade away at that question, memories of her father resurfacing.

"He's taught me to be strong, to defend myself and not be dependent of others. We've gone camping, we've done road trips, and every time he comes home from a trip he doesn't go to mom instead he goes to me and we hang out. I tell him about what's going on and he teaches me how to overcome it. Honestly Tess that anger was just one time."

Suddenly Scarlet realizes what might happen next and begs me not to tell Jane for fear that he'll use this information against her. I'll admit his relentlessness has really done a number on her but if there is some chance, any chance that she is our daughter I want to know. Honestly, I don't believe Jane. I need concrete evidence, but how can I get that...?

"How long do you think you have left to find your father?"

"Three days, four if you count today why do you ask?"

Patrick's going to hate me for this.

"Let's make a deal okay? If you do a DNA test with me then I'll get Jane to leave you alone. He won't try to convince you anymore that you're Marie."

Her look of determination almost makes me feel better, maybe there's a part of her that isn't broken.

"Let's do it now, I just want to get this over with!"

"Alright, but Scarlet if the test comes positive and you are my daughter we will have to consider the possibility that the your father isn't who he says he is."

"Oh please, I am his daughter nothing can separate us!"

She walks proudly to my car, this must be her first victory. I can't help but notice her thin frame, and the attitude she gave me when defending her father. It may seem cruel but until I know how deep this idea that he loves her goes I don't want to let her go. I want to help her so badly, to get rid of the depression and protect her from her parents. If only I knew how bad her mentality was becoming, how can I help her when I can't pin point what's going on? Is this some form of Stockholm Disease or something else? Jane should be able to help with this, thank God I married a mentalist.

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Stockholm Disease: (also known as Stockholm syndrome) is a mentality where the victim will actually fall in love with their abuser. Most common situations deal with child abuse, controlling/intimidating relationships, hostage situations, and kidnapped victims. It's why many people in an abusive relationship will run to their attacker for comfort no matter what you do to save them, or how most kids won't talk about what's really going on at home. It's a very serious issue that should not be taken lightly.

If you know someone who shows signs of this all of the information can be found at http://counsellingresource.com/lib/therapy/self-help/stockholm/