I hated the smell of Hospitals. The bleach and medicine mixed cold air made me nauseous. Avinash had his back to me, as he stood beside his father's lifeless body, surrounded by people I didn't recognize. His mother was standing next to him, her eyes swollen and red. The other occupants of the Intensive Care Unit curiously stared at them.

I was not sure whether I should let him know of my presence or let him grieve.

I decided to go with the latter, which proved to be a futile attempt, since my phone's ringtone, made him aware of my presence. Before Avinash could turn around and find my standing there, I blurted out an "Excuse me" and hurried out of the ICU where Mr. Chauhan's lifeless body lied.

The call was from my father.

"Meena what happened?" His voice sounded troubled.

"Avinash's father expired." I said softly.

"Avinash, your boyfriend?" My father asked.

"Yes Ba. I am at Jaipur with him." I didn't know why I told him this, knowing fully well that he was going to freak out.

"Have they cremated him yet?" I was surprised to hear his calm voice.

"No we are at the hospital." I replied.

"Which Hospital?" Ba inquired calmly.

I shared the name of the Hospital with him. He told me to take care of myself before disconnecting the call. I pocketed my phone and turned around to find Avinash standing right infront of me.

His eyes were distant and glazed. The warmth had left those hazels, replaced with pain instead. His brows crunched together, lips quivering. Those broad shoulders caved in, accepting defeat. He shook his head slowly, trying to tell me that he couldn't restrain his father from leaving.

I closed the distance between us, letting him breakdown in my arms. His arms squeezed me tightly as his head buried in my shoulder.

Even though we never voice it out, but we all struggle to find the right thing to say, to someone who has lost a loved one. Our words never really make any difference, or reduce their agony. I chose silence instead of those consoling words, while I rubbed his back, trying naively to rub away the pain that coursed through Avinash. He shuddered violently, his cries of agony echoing against the walls of the cold corridor.

He held on to me, like a shipwrecked man holds on to a life buoy in the middle of the ocean. Avinash Chauhan, wasn't strong and sorted anymore. He was a vulnerable, shattered, despaired boy, who wanted to hold on to me. I felt like he wanted me to save him from spiraling into the darkness of gloom.

"Avi," A woman's voice made him break away. She was one of those unknown faces who was standing near Mr. Chauhan's bed with Avinash's mother. "Vrinda said she will reach by noon, should we tell the hospital to discharge..." she struggled to find the right word before saying, "your father?"

"Okay." Avinash said in an unfamiliar hollow voice. "Come." He motioned me to follow him.

His father still had tubes and pipes attached to his hands and throat. The ventilator monitor displayed a flat line. The defibrillator stood useless next to the bed. A nurse pulled the curtains around the bed, so that the rest of the patients couldn't pry.

Mrs. Chauhan looked at us when we entered the ICU.

"You go home Ma." Avinash said in that unfamiliar tone, "I will take care of everything here."

Her mother managed a little nod, trying not to cry.

"Tell Uncle Amit to take Brute to our place." Avinash said absentmindedly.

"He already did." The woman who had gone to fetch us outside, informed him. "Varsha let's go." She said placing a hand on Mrs. Chauhan's shoulder.

Mrs. Chauhan sniffed, glancing at her husband's body one last time, she allowed herself to be steered out of the ICU.

"I should clear the bills." Avinash said steeling himself. He squeezed his father's lifeless hand before leaving the room with one of the three men and a woman. I was left standing awkwardly with the two men and Mr.Chauhan's body.

"You must be Meenakshi?" One of the men asked. I bobbed my head in reply.

"I am Surya, Avinash's cousin. This is my brother Satwik." He said pointing to the other man. They were both tall and mildly overweight.

"We should wait outside." The one named Satwik suggested. I agreed and waited outside the ICU with them leaving Mr. Chauhan's body alone in the ICU.

"How did this happen?" I asked trying to break the numbing silence

"According to the doctors, it was a heart attack." Satwik informed, "They tried everything to revive him, but I guess it was too late."

"Aunt Sugandha, Uncle Amit and our parents were the first to arrive here." Surya added, "By the time we arrived, the doctors had already declared him dead."

"Vrinda told us not to tell Avinash anything till he reached," Surya continued. "He drove all the way from Uttarakhand in nine hours?"

"He said he was having a bad feeling and couldn't rest until he made sure his father was okay." The image of Avinash's hopeful face flashed through my mind.

"Avi needs to be strong." Surya said sadly, "I guess he is lucky to have you. Hope you can help him sail through the challenges that are awaiting him."

I had no idea how I was supposed to do that. How was I supposed to reduce his grief? No one can replace the pain of loosing one's parents. Even though I couldn't empathize, yet I could fathom the agony that coursed through Avinash.

We stood there for what seemed like an eternity, making small talks. By the time two ward boys wheeled Mr. Chauhan's body out of the ICU, it was nearly noon. I followed them with Surya and Satwik to the lobby.

Avinash and the elderly couple who had accompanied him out of the ICU were standing at the Payment Counter.

"Those are my parents." Surya informed me. "My father is Aunt Varsha's brother."

"Surya will take you to my place." Avinash said in that unfamiliar tone, once we joined him.

"What about you?" I asked perplexed.

"I will take the Ambulance with dad." He replied. I didn't want to leave him alone, but Satwik calmed my worries.

"I and my father will go with him don't worry." Satwik said reassuringly.

I decided not to argue and left Avinash with his uncle and cousin brother at the hospital.

**************
I could have never imagined that my second visit to the pink city, would be in such disturbing circumstances.

We drove through the heavy Jaipur traffic. Buses and cabs bustled by, in their hurry to reach their destinations. Office goers gathered at the roadside stalls for a quick lunch. It was like every other day for them.

Parents ardently listened to the animated stories their children narrated, as they returned home from school. Beggars, sat on the pavements, eagerly looking up at the passersby, hoping they would flick a coin or note on their empty steel bowls. Life moved on for everyone, unaware that a boy was arranging his father's funeral on his twenty first birthday.

A father was that umbrella who always protected us, and today Avinash has lost that sheltering umbrella. Life was never going to be the same for him. Avinash seemed to have aged ten years in the matter of an hour. I recalled the way he had told his mother to go home.

Surya's mother tried to make small talks, to make me feel comfortable, I too replied politely. We reached the Chauhan's residence to find it packed with relatives and neighbours, who had come to offer their condolences to the bereft family.

Uncle Amit was waiting outside with Brute.

"I hope he didn't trouble you much?" I asked sheepishly.

"On the contrary, he had been an absolute gentleman," Uncle Amit replied with a kind smile. The porch was scattered with footwears, I left my flip flop with them, and entered the house.

Except for Aunt Sugandha I couldn't recognize anyone else. Surya and his mother joined a group of visitors who I assumed were their relatives.

"Thank you for being with him Meenakshi." Mrs. Chauhan appeared before me, and held my hands, "Even with all this, I was worried mad about Avi. I blamed myself for calling him. Never would I have imagined that he would drive down her, that to in the middle of the night." She looked around at the visitors gathered in her house.

"Avinash is lucky to have you." She looked at me, eyes glistening with fresh tears.

"I couldn't let him leave him alone." I murmured. She patted my cheek, kindly.

"Please make yourself comfortable, I am afraid I won't be able to pay any attention to you today." She said sadly.

"Mrs. Chauhan it's absolutely okay. And do let me know if I can be of any help." I assured her earnestly.

"Be with him Meenakshi. He is pretending to be all strong. But I know my son. He needs to break down, to heal properly." Her lips quivered. "Be with him when he breaks."

"I will." My voice reflected my resolve. She smiled through her tears, before excusing herself.

Brute must have sensed the mood, since he was quietly lying on the floor, near my feet. Vrinda arrived soon, with Pearl and Ruby.

"Naxi you know Momma has been crying her eyes out since last night. She even made us miss school today." Pearl said worriedly, as both the twins petted Brute.

"Do you know what happened Naxi?" Ruby asked mirroring her sisters concern. We were sitting in the living room in the company of fifteen other people.

I knew the answer, yet I couldn't tell them, just like I couldn't tell their uncle last night. They were too young to face the harsh realities of life. Before I could think of a suitable answer, Avinash walked in with those steeled emotionless eyes.

"Where is Ma?" He asked in a flat voice. Mrs. Chauhan came out from the dining room.

"The priest is here." Avinash informed her in that same flat tone. "I have told them to bring Dad inside." His voice trembled ever so lightly when he said 'Dad'.

"Avinash, you haven't eaten anything, have a sweet meat atleast." Mrs. Chauhan begged her son.

"I am not hungry." He said indifferently.

"Have a glass of water atleast Avi." Surya's mother pleaded.

"I don't need anything." There was an eerie calm in his voice, which prevented anyone from saying anything more.

"What happened to Nanu?" Ruby screamed in horror, watching Mr. Chauhan's body being lowered on the living room floor, on a wooden bed.

"Momma, what happened to Nanu?" The innocent girl rushed to her mother. Pearl was still sitting next to me, her face pale as paper. I wrapped my arm around her, and helplessly watching her shake with grief.

"Nashu WHAT HAPPENED TO NANU?" Ruby screamed shaking Avinash violently. "Nashu why is Nanu lying like that."

"Nanu is tired Ruby." Avinash knelt down. "He needs rest." He told the little girl.

"He is...he is not going to wake up, is he?" Ruby stuttered. All Avinash could do was shake his head. Ruby's loud cries of sorrow tore through the room. She hugged her uncle, not wanting to look at her grandfather's corpse.

The rest of the visitors offered their condolences to the family and prayed for Mr. Chauhan's spirit to find liberation.

Avinash, with some help from his cousins, changed his father's clothes. Vrinda and another lady applied sandalwood paste on Mr. Chauhan's forehead.

It took them an hour to ready Mr. Chauhan for his last journey. Mrs. Chauhan stayed back at the house with her granddaughters and mother-in-law, Aunt Sugandha accompaning them.

Avinash rode with his father in the hearse, while Uncle Amit drove me, Vrinda and two other ladies in Avinash's car.

I was shocked to find two familiar faces waiting for us at the crematorium. Avinash too seemed a little taken aback, but recovered immediately.

A small crowd had already gathered to catch a glimpse of the reality show singer waiting inside the Crematorium.

Arjun Mathur held Avinash's shoulders, trying to read his face. Well that was a futile attempt, since his future protégé had a mask of indifference, beautifully stretched over his face.

"How does Avinash know Arjun Mathur?" Vrinda asked surprised.

"Ummm we met him during our paragliding trip at Dehradun." I lied smoothly. "He and Avinash bonded pretty well."

"Must be!" Uncle Amit exclaimed, "otherwise he wouldn't have been here for Avinash."

Arjun Mathur held one of the legs of the wooden bed carrying Mr. Chauhan's body, while Surya, Satwik, and Avinash held the other three, lifting the bed on their shoulders. We followed them to the pyre.

Avinash performed all the rituals the priests directed him to perform, before picking up the burning log and lighting his father's pyre.

I held Vrinda, while she sobbed covering her mouth with her hand. The thick smoke from the pyre rose to the sky, taking the last of Mr. Chauhan's earthly body with it. His soul was no more trapped in his body. It was liberated now.

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