It was a week before New Year's when Victoria and William showed up in their front door with a ticket to a one week cruise in the Allure of the Seas. Sara and Ava didn't even have time to object. The Sharpe's demanded them to come and it was final and irrevocable. Laurel was the most excited of all. They packed within an hour and hopped to the private jet that took them to the docks.

William explained that they had planned a vacation for Laurel and wanted to expose their granddaughter to the luxury that they can afford. After all, Laurel was the future of their company. The cruise will also be where the Senator, William's cousin will celebrate his birthday and of course, the annual New Year's party.

They were ferried by the family yacht to where the ship was. The Allure of the Seas Star was the fanciest ship Sara has ever been on. It felt like a palace filled with everything they could ever need. They were handed their itineraries for the entire cruise which showed their lunch schedule and dinner schedule as well as the parties they had to attend.

They spent their first day settling in and touring the ship and all its amenities. Exploring the entire ship seemed impossible at first but finally they were able to identify the places and activities they could explore and do. The first three days of the cruise was fun but also exhausting. In the mornings Sara, Ava and Laurel would roam around, swim and enjoyed the activities in the ship but during evenings they would go to formal dinners with businessmen, politicians and socialites.

Sara tried to keep herself out of big conversations, which were mostly business deals and politics, and focused on their daughter. Ava was the one who entertained the socialites. She always had a talent of keeping people entertained and getting them to like her. After all, Ava is a Sharpe and she spoke their language.

Sara and Ava were grateful for the vacation. For a moment they forgot about the outside world and their problems. For the first time in months they enjoyed and had fun as a family. Laurel was always laughing and smiling and everyone was amused with the little girl.

---

"Mama up" Laurel was too old to be carried but the little girl burned too much energy playing in the pool. Seeing how tired their daughter was, Sara let her ex-wife carry the little girl back to their room.

"Mama, stay" the little girl whined when Ava put her down on the bed.

Despite being in good terms, the exes agreed that it was best they didn't stay in the same room. Ava stayed in the connecting room beside Sara's and Laurel slept alternately between rooms depending on her mood. This was the first time the little girl wanted Ava and Sara to be with her.

"Hey babe, mama needs to rest" Sara laid beside her daughter and kissed her forehead. "You'll have plenty of time with mama tomorrow, okay?"

Laurel was usually a very understanding kid, a little more mature than others her age. Sara didn't always have a difficult time explaining things to her but Laurel is still four. "I want mama" the little blonde crossed her arms and frowned.

"Do you want me to transfer you to mama's room?" Sara asked a little hurt. It wasn't like she didn't want her daughter to sleep beside her mama but she was upset that Laurel didn't want to be with her in 'her' day.

"I want to sleep beside you and mama" the little girl pouted even more. Sara's eyes met Ava's apologetic look. The shorter blonde sighed and dropped her shoulders in defeat.

"Just until you fall asleep. Okay?"  Sara replied, unable to deny the little girl.

---

The boat tilted side to side as the waves crashed and the thunder roared. The lightning struck closer and closer each time and her heartbeat started racing. She's never seen a thunderstorm as wild as this before.

The wine glasses shattered on the floor and so did the thousand dollar bottle of pinot they almost emptied. She felt the boat tip to one side, yanking her body across the floor as it did. Finally, she was able to scream. Her voice was immediately muffled and her lungs started to burn. She continued to scream but no sound pierced through. Water filled her lungs before she realized she was being dragged under water.

            Sara tried her hardest to swim back up but the pull was too strong. She didn't stop pulling herself up until she felt the wind blow against her skin. She gasped for air as the waves crashed against her, drowning her.

            "Ollie!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Ollie!" the waves continued to crash against her, making it more difficult to breathe or speak. She didn't even realize she was shivering, freezing from the cold.

            "Sara!" she hears Oliver call out.

            "Ollie I'm here! I'm right here"

            "Sara!" she could hear him call out again only this time it wasn't Oliver.

            Sara gasped for air as she woke. She could still feel the cold against her skin and the burning sensation in her lungs. She hugged her knees to her chest and rubbed the chill off her arms. She was shaking, still reeling from the dream.

            "Hey" she hears a soft voice trying to calm her. "You're okay" a hand fell on the small of her back, rubbing up and down, warming her up.

            She lied back down and felt comforted by the soft pillow and sheets, thankful that it wasn't salt water. She thinks of Laurel and their happy memories to calm her down. At the corner of her eye, she catches Ava propping herself up with her elbow.

            "It's okay. I'm right here" she felt a warm hand on her chest. It felt so right that she didn't notice she held it in place with her own.

"And here I thought you gave nightmares not have them" Ava smiled.

Sara felt her heart ache. Back when they were married, Ava would always calm her and put her hand in her chest and talk her through the nightmares. Sara even visited a therapist for a brief period of time when her nightmares got persistent. However, all those went away when she had Laurel.

"You haven't had one of those in years"

"Yeah" she finally notices Ava's hand on her chest. She pushes it off from her and cuddles closer to Laurel who was between them.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ava whispers. "What was it?"

"Same as always." she forces the images off her head "Maybe it's the ship" she wanted to brush Ava off but it has been a while since she had a nightmare and she couldn't quite shake the fear.

"Shit" It wasn't like Ava to curse; she was always careful around Laurel but Sara was too  preoccupied to correct her. "I'm sorry Sara, I didn't even... I thought you were okay. Shit why am I so insensitive?"

"It's okay. I thought I was over it"

The gambit was one of her worst fears. She got traumatized by boats and deep waters. She even feared storms for a period of time but then she met friends that helped her through it. She was in therapy for months before she was able to star to swim in pools, then beaches and then finally, go on boat rides.

The nightmares stayed however. They would always be the gambit, the Queen family's boat crashing. Sara was still in college back then. She and Laurel had a bad conversation and she decided to hurt her sister by going on a boat trip with her boyfriend. Sara almost drowned but she was found and rescued. She and Laurel were in bad terms for a while before they realized that family was more important. That was the last time she did something stupid before she decided to join the force.

At first, Sara was hesitant to sleep next to Ava because she was too scared that she would be turned off by her weird nightmares. However, she found out that the other woman was her anchor that kept her grounded and steady. Ava would always find a way to bring her back and make her feel safe.

Sara wasn't good with feelings and she hated being vulnerable but she was also human and couldn't just burry everything down. She was sure that she was no longer affected by the gambit because it happened so long ago. She made it a necessity to conquer her fears whenever she developed them.  She wanted to be stronger, mentally, emotionally.

"Apparently not" Sara shrugged.

"Do you want to go home?" Ava whispered.

"No" Sara replied almost immediately. "No" she cleared her throat. "Of course not. I can't ruin this trip for Laurel" Ava stared at her apologetically. "Besides the food is great"

Sara and Ava stayed awake for a couple more hours. They talked about Laurel and how much fun they had in the pool, movie house and arcade. They reminisced the times where they would go to movie houses and play arcades when they were together. She and Ava would always get toys because of how much tickets they had. Eventually, they both fell asleep talking about future vacation plans in Hawaii and other places Laurel would enjoy.

***

The Sharpe's were known to throw grandiose parties, amongst other things. However, grandiose was an understatement this time around. They have out done themselves yet again. New Year's Eve was traditionally celebrated in manor back in Ivy Town. Politicians and socialites from all over the globe would be invited and each year was unique because of the different themes.

This New Year's party was a little smaller, more intimate than the previous one's that Ava has attended. This was also the first time that the family took the celebration on waters. However, they didn't hold back on the food, decorations (with this year's theme The Great Gatsby Party) and music. There were mini stages, live performers and dancers dressed in gold and silver, adorned with feathers and pearls.

Ava, as a kid, never really liked to play dress up but she grew older she developed to tolerate it when her parents started taking her to all kinds of parties. This party theme however, wasn't as bad. She wore a gold, strapless and sequined mermaid dress that hugged her curves just right. Her hair cascaded in curls to one side of her shoulder and pinned with a silver feather clip.

And as to the lawyer's amusement her ex-wife was all glammed up too. Sara spun and opened her arms to show her the entire outfit. Sara looked like she was taken from the 20's and was travelled to the future. She wore a silver, fringed, knee length flapper with a plunging neckline that sucked Ava's throat dry; the dress was sexy and revealing. Sara's hair was in finger waves, pulled up to a bun and decorated with a feather headband, which exposed more skin than Ava had prepared for. She could see Sara's collarbone, her chest, and her arms that reminded her how toned her ex-wife was.

            "What do you think?" Sara's voice snapped her out of her trance. "Aves?" she could see the confused look plastered all over the shorter woman's face.

            "You...umm" she cursed when her voice faltered. She cleared her throat and tried again. "You look great" she chuckled nervously.

            "Thanks. So do you" Ava felt her cheeks grew hot but thankfully Sara wasn't paying much attention to her now red face. She took a second to calm herself before turning to her daughter.

            The little girl was also dressed up in 20's flapper. She wore a black, sequined dress with gloves and faux fur. To this day, it still amazes Ava how Laurel looks exactly like her mother. Despite the darker shade of blonde hair, and darker blue eyes, Laurel was without a doubt the mini version of her mommy. 

            "How do I look?" Laurel pouted.

            Ava crouched to Laurel's height and kissed her forehead "you look absolutely stunning little bean"

            Laurel looked older than four, more mature than four. Ava's heart swelled at the thought of her little girl growing up to be a fine young woman.  Even though she had done anything for the past months to make up for lost time, it still feels like she missed a lot.  It still felt like she had years to catch up to because her daughter was growing way too fast (if that was even possible).  Before Ava could realize it tears started to form in her eyes.

            "You okay mama?" the little girl frowned.

            "Yeah baby" she sniffed. "You just look so big that's all" she gave her daughter another kiss, this time on her cheeks and hugged her tight.

            When she let go, she felt a hand rest on her shoulder. She stood up to see Sara looking sympathetically at her like she understood the thoughts that ran in her head. The shorter blonde took a step closer.

            "She isn't going anywhere Aves. You have all the time in the world" Sara smiled.

            "I know" she nodded. "I know"

---

            The party started off with a few words of welcome from William and Victoria and then a few intermission numbers before dinner. They were served an eight course meal as they listened to live bands play. Sara and Ava did their best to keep Laurel occupied and contented but the little girl seemed to enjoy the performances.

            After a while Laurel got exhausted and was taken by Nana Anne back to her room which left the exes to roam around the party on their own. Sara and Ava were so inseparable that they look like they've been glued to each other's side. Only because Ava knows how uncomfortable and anxious Sara gets with parties thrown by her parents. Their arms were linked as they went through the crowd, greeting people along the way and stopping to a few tables for chitchats.

            "Sara dear, it's been a while" Marga, the second wife of Ava's uncle, the Senator Bill greeted with a soft, fake tone that was clearly rehearsed for the people she doesn't give a damn about. "Are you and Ava..." she raised her brows to imply her thoughts.

            She felt Sara's aura shift and she felt her squeeze her arm a little tighter. Ava placed her free hand over Sara's and rubbed soothing circles that made her relax a little.

"Marga, how are you and Uncle Bill?" Ava greeted back, clearly with intent to offend. "I hear things are getting dirty. You know, I happen to be very close with a talented divorce lawyer" She whispered in a singsong but loud enough to be heard by the other socialites in the same table. The press might have kept it quiet but Ava knew all too well how her gold digger of an aunt cheated with her uncle's business partner and that they were going through a difficult split. Clearly, she was hiding it because everybody in the table was surprised. Marga was too stunned and embarrassed to say anything that she walked out on them. Sara mouthed a quick thank you which Ava returned with a smile.

After talking to a few more people, they grew tired of faking smiles and trying to please everyone (which Ava effortlessly did because of her charms), they took a bottle of champagne and 'hid' on the far end deck where no one could bother them.

"Oh your dress is so beautiful" Sara exaggeratedly mimicked one of the socialites she heard when they passed. "No your dress is beautiful" she imitated the other girl in a different tone and pitch. "Bleh" the shorter woman stuck her tongue out in disgust.

  "It's called being polite Sara" Ava laughed. Sara was a good person, but boy she was blunt, forward and has always hated sugarcoating. "I don't know how you survived all the parties we have attended"

Sara rolled her eyes. "I didn't. You did all the talking. I did the drinking"

"Yeah" Ava chuckled.

They both leaned on the rails and listened to the music and the distant chattering of the people. The moon was shining bright and the sky was clear, it was almost romantic. Sara kept on talking and joking around. Her smile was so genuine that Ava could see her baby blues glinting. Her laugh was beautiful too, even with the noise around it's like she couldn't hear anything else.

Ava gets pulled back to the time when she and Sara were still together. Attending parties like New Year's Eve was easier, more fun; only because they would sneak around and make out, hoping not to get caught. Those were the days that they were so full of life. They were happy and made the most out of every moment. When she lost their boy, she shut Sara out and lost her too. Back then she only thought of the pain, loss and guilt. She thought she would recover and it would be easier but now, she still feels all of those but this time with a bit more guilt; guilt of not being there for Sara and Laurel when they were hurt too.

If I can take it all back I would.

Ava inhaled in the fresh breeze. She welcomed the smell of the ocean with a deep breath and a heavy exhale. The steady hum of the engine and the soft waves that hit the ship calmed her and eased her thoughts.

Sara might have noticed that she drifted because she felt her move closer to her. "Talk to me Aves" the shorter blonde whispered.

Ava's heart ached a little more. There were plenty she wanted to say, some she had said already but felt like it wasn't enough. There were no apology, no speech nor words that she could string together that could undo all the pain she's caused Sara but here she was still, beside her, staring at her with the same care and worry she always had years ago and it breaks her heart. Maybe it was the champagne that hit her, boy it hit her hard and good. She was too emotional, too vulnerable to be sober.

She laughed at how stupid she might look at the moment. Sara was still confused. Her face shifted, looking a little more sad than worried. Ava looked down and saw tears drop to the rail handle.

"Hey. What is it?" Sara coaxed. Ava only dismissed the question with a shake. "Hey, don't go in your corner"

She hates how Sara knows her all too well. She hates how Sara knows how to handle her when she's vulnerable and upset; how Sara knows how to say the right words and do the right things to get her to open up. Despite everything Sara was still her comfort zone, Sara was still home.

"I missed this" was the only way she knew how to start because that's what she was genuinely feeling. She did miss Sara; talking with her, hearing her laugh, seeing her smile. And it hurts her that it wasn't the same like it used to. She tells her that too. She pours her heart out to Sara. The champagne helped a lot with that. She tells Sara how sorry she was for leaving, for hurting her and for hurting Laurel. She knew she's said these things before. She knew that Sara knows how guilty she was but it felt right to say them again.

She takes Sara's hand because the pain in her heart was too much to bear. "I hate feeling like this. I hate not being with you" she squeezed her hand a little tighter, gathering all the strength she could get.

"I hate waking up in our house, knowing you are there but not with me. I hate that we take Laurel on family dates but I can never take you out on one... not anymore." she could barely keep an even breathing but it was too late to stop. "I hate that you've moved on and that you're happy with someone else. I know that's selfish of me but I would never take it out on you because you deserve it. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and you deserve someone who will never leave"

"Ava..."

"Sara I am sick and tired of pretending that I'm okay not being with you because I am not. And I know it's my fault. It's all my fault" she couldn't stop the sobs from coming. She covered her mouth and took a second to compose herself.

"I can't keep pretending that I don't love you anymore because I-..." it took her a second before she realized that soft lips were pressed against hers. The familiar kiss she had been longing for so long. It wasn't heated as the one they shared in her study but this one started harsh, to stop her from talking but it quickly turned into a softer, more affectionate kiss; like Sara was being careful that she would break if she pushed to hard. Ava leaned in closer, deepening the kiss, making Sara feel that she meant what she said.  She whined when she felt Sara pull away.

Sara leaned in and rested her forehead on her own. "I love you" It was barely above a whisper and Ava wasn't sure if she heard it correctly because Sara was still out of breath and panting lightly.

"What did you say?" her heart was racing.

"I said...I-..."

"Happy new year!" everybody cheered in unison. Glasses clinked and fireworks started to erupt, lighting the sky in various colors.

"Sara..."

"Happy new year Aves"