Chapter Twenty-nine

You Left

Nang hapon ay maaga rin kaming bumalik ni Adam sa bahay niya. He prepared us dinner and I helped him. Sobrang tahimik nga lang naming dalawa ngayon lalo na pagkatapos ng nangyari kanina sa farm.

Paula came after lunch. Actually, may dala pa nga siyang ulam siguro kanina para kay Adam at sa mga trabahante. Ang dami niyang dalang pagkain para sa kanila. Pero nang dumating siya ay tapos na kaming kumain ni Adam because we both ate earlier, too. Kaya naman ang mga tauhan na lang ang kumain ng dala niya.

Adam needed to attend to his workers and their work kaya naman naiwan muna ako sa office niya. He also advice me na manatili lang doon dahil mainit sa labas. That's when Paula came in to confront me when Adam left.

"Ano pa ang ginagawa mo dito, Aeva?"

Bumaling ako sa kaniya at nagkaharap kami. "Mag-uusap pa kami ni Adam, Paula." I said.

"Ano pa ba ang gusto mong sabihin kay Adam? Is it lies? Gusto mo ba siyang bumalik sa'yo?"

Was she calling me a liar? I did not yet confront her of the lies she's told me...

Am I believing Adam? I think I am. Dahil tingin ko ay mas kapanipaniwala ang sinabi sa akin ni Adam... O iyon lang din talaga ang mas gusto kong paniwalaan...

"Paula..." I called first.

Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. "Do you like Adam?" I seriously asked her.

"W-What?" She stuttered a bit. And then she composed herself right away after she was a bit taken aback of what I've said. "Sinabi ko na sa iyo, Aeva, na si Adam at ako..." She was hesitant now to say it here dahil naisip niya rin siguro na baka bumalik si Adam...

"Ang sinabi sa akin ni Adam ay wala naman daw kayong relasyong dalawa." sinabi ko na.

Umawang naman ang labi niya.

Nagbuntong-hininga naman ako. "Paula, importante ang sadya ko kay Adam." Tumigil ako at may naisip. "Does he know?" I asked her. "Does Adam know that you have feelings for him..."

Her eyes widened more as she looked at me. I saw her lips also moved a bit like it just quivered...

"You can tell him..." I said. At napaisip pa ako.

If Adam doesn't know yet of Paula's developed feelings for him, at kapag nagsabi na si Paula ng nararamdaman niya sa kaniya and Adam accepts her feelings...

Siguro ay dapat hindi ko na gaano pang i-concern ang sarili ko doon. After all tapos na kami ni Adam... And I'm only here to tell him about our son.

At naisip ko rin na maaring magustuhan nga rin ni Adam si Paula... After all they've been working together for the farm...

Paula's expression changed. She looked at me like she hated me. Parang hindi ko makita sa kaniya ngayon iyong Paula na naging kaibigan ko...

"Sinaktan mo na siya, Aeva. Sana ay hindi ka na bumalik pa."

Tumango lang naman ako sa sinabi niya. I think I get it. People can also become unreasonable...

"Nandito lang talaga ako dahil may importante akong akong sasabihin kay Adam." I turned again to look at her.

And then Adam went back and came in. Naabutan niya kaming dalawa ni Paula doon. When she heard Adam had returned, binalingan niya ito. "Adam, let's talk outside." salubong niya kay Adam.

Nagkatinginan naman kami ni Adam mula kay Paula. He looked like he was about to talk when Paula already kind of aggressively and desperately pulled him outside.

Nag-usap nga sila sa labas at mananatili na lang sana ako roon sa loob ng opisina ni Adam, and I know that it was not right to eavesdrop... Pero lumapit pa rin ako aa pintuan at mukhang hindi naman sila lumayo kaya narinig ko pa agad ang usapan nila.

"Ano ang gagawin mo, Adam?" I heard Paula asking Adam this.

"Paula—" But Adam was cut off.

"She's probably back because she wants you back! Pero nakakalimutan mo na ba ang ginawa niya sa'yo, Adam? Kung paano ka nasaktan? You don't deserve someone like her!" Halos nagtataas na ng boses niya si Paula. Maybe from frustration...

"Paula, please stop it..."

Hindi ko na narinig pa ang mga sumunod na sinabi ni Adam sa kaniya dahil lumayo na ako sa pintuan at bumalik na lang malapit sa medyo malayong mesa ni Adam dito.

Hinayaan ko na lang sila na mag-usap...

Hindi pa iyon doon nagtapos. After they were probably done talking, binalikan pa ako ni Paula at sinubukan muling komprontahin pero inawat na siya ni Adam. In the end she went home after Adam reprimanded her...

"I'm sorry about what happened earlier... About Paula..."

Bumaling ako kay Adam nang magsalita rin siya tungkol doon. We were already done preparing dinner at kakain na.

"Are you aware..." I wanted to ask him if alam din ba niya na may nararamdaman na si Paula para sa kaniya...

Nagkatinginan kami ni Adam. I just chose to sigh it off instead.

I think I'll just leave it to Paula...

Ang mahalaga naman ay makausap ko na siya tungkol kay Mikos.

"Talk to her again, Adam. Paula, kausapin mo siya. At, uh, can we talk after this?"

Adam nodded. "Okay."

Pagkatapos naming kumain, I also helped him with the dishes. Nang malinis na namin ang kitchen ay saka kami nag-settle sa balkonahe sa labas para makalanghap din ng sariwang hangin.

Gabi na at medyo malamig na rin sa labas kaya siguro ako binigyan ni Adam ng isang maliit na kumot para gawin kong parang jacket dito sa labas habang mag-uusap kami. Iyon ang dinala niya nang sumunod siya sa akin dito sa may balcony.

Bumalik na naman ang nervousness ko at pag-aalala nang isiping ngayong gabi ko na talaga sasabihin sa kaniya ang tungkol sa anak namin.

I still asked myself if I was ready. But I also thought that it's now or never...

Especially that Mikos was waiting. Kanina nga ay tinawagan pa ako ng anak ko habang kasama ko si Adam. But it was just a short call at hindi na rin niya napansin ang tumawag sa akin. I remember my phone call with Mikos earlier.

"Mama, when are you coming home? I thought pauwi ka na po." said my son on the phone.

"I'm sorry, Mikos..." I didn't know if I should tell him na kasama ko na ngayon ang Daddy niya... "Anak, I'm staying where I am now a bit more... Uh, I think I can get to talk to your father now..." sinabi ko na lang. Ayaw ko man na ma excite o umasa na naman ang anak ko pero parang gusto ko na lang din na sabihin sa kaniya.

It took Mikos a little while to respond to me after what I just said. "Mama... Have you talked to him? Are you together now?"

Tumango ako kahit hindi naman ako nakikita ng anak ko. "Yes..." I answered and then I breathed. "I will try to talk to him now, Mikos. And then I'll tell you after..."

"Okay, Mama. Thank you, Mama."

Bahagya na lang akong napangiti. "Alright, Mikos. I'll call you again, okay?"

"Okay, po."

And then I hanged up. Nakita ko na rin si Adam na palapit na sa akin...

"So... What is it?"

Tumingin ako kay Adam. Tahimik ang gabi at kaming dalawa lang ang nandito. Tingin ko ay ngayon ko na nga dapat na sabihin sa kaniya.

"Adam... Years ago, I..." I found out that I was pregnant. I bit my lip. I still felt hesitant to tell him right away. Ano kaya ang magiging reaction niya? What will he probably think? Would he believe me or think that I'm lying...

"Yes, what is it, Aeva? Tell me," aniyang parang gusto na ring malaman ang sasabihin ko.

Ano kaya ang iniisip niya na sasabihin ko sa kaniya?

"You said that it's important, right?"

Tumango ako. "Yes..."

"Then tell me." He said.

I gulped. Pakiramdam ko pa ay parang unti-unti na rin akong nahihirapang huminga... But I know that I should do this for my son, for Mikos.

Natagalan bago ako magsalitang muli. Kaya naman si Adam ang naunang muling magsalita sa amin.

"Years ago... when you left... me. Basta ka na lang umalis na noong magising ako sa condo ay wala ka na... Walang paalam... And you didn't say anything, you just disappeared..." He said.

That caught my attention and I stayed just looking at him as he speaks...

"And after all these years I've met you again in a party, there with another man holding you..."

My lips parted a bit. I don't know if he's heard that the guy I was with in that party already passed away...

It was just my job and the reason I was with that person that evening of the said party. And it's now done.

"But now you're here." He added and then he caught my eyes. Hindi ko na rin maalis ang tingin ko rin sa mga mata niya. "So, whatever you're about to say to me now... It must be important na sinadya mo pa talaga ako rito sa Masbate." aniya.

At tumango naman ako sa sinabi niya. I'm telling him about Mikos now. Right now.