Chapter Twenty

Not Alone Anymore

Staying with Adam for another week has made me realize that I should stop from here and leave him... Dahil hindi naman talaga ako nakakabuti sa kaniya. At ipapahamak ko lang siya.

Nakausap ko si Kuya Levi at balak daw akong kunin ni Kuya Aldrich. I know Aldrich Zachmann and he's very dangerous to Adam. Sure Adam's family is powerful pero hindi rin naman bastang mga tao lang ang mga Zachmann. They have connections with people and I'm afraid Aldrich would use it to get to Adam. Just thinking about it makes me scared.

"Bakit ako gustong kunin ni Kuya Aldrich..."

"You're his sister, Aeva..."

Ilang sandali akong natahimik at nakadikit lang sa tainga ko ang phone ko. "Isn't he mad at me, Kuya Levi." Huminga ako.

"Well, he is... But you're still family, so..." Kuya Levi sounded a little unsure.

I sighed. "Uuwi po ako nang kusa, kuya..." Pagkatapos ay muli pa akong huminga at umiling. Hindi ako pwedeng basta na lang bumalik sa mga Zachmann. What if they'd kill me for my betrayal? I'm still a traitor to them. Paano kung gusto lang talaga akong pauwiin ni Kuya Aldrich para parusahan. And this time my punishment would already be my death...

To be honest, siguro ay naisip ko na umuwi pa rin sa mga Zachmann. Because I still think that they are my family. At sa huli ay wala rin naman akong matatakbuhan... If I'm just alone maybe I would do it and take the risk of probably being punished again. But I'm not alone anymore...

I have my child with me now. So I can't take that risk and also risking my child's life...

I also thought of just telling Adam that I'm pregnant with his child. And maybe he could help me in keeping our child safe... But I had doubts... I doubted him...

"Why are you keeping me here in your place, Adam?" I asked him. Because I wanted to know already. I want to know of his plan. Kung ano ba talaga ang gusto niyang gawin sa akin.

Bumaling siya sa akin at nagkatinginan kami. "Why do you ask? You're only here to pay your sin, Aeva." he coldly said.

Halos mapalunok ako sa lamig ng mga mata niyang nakatingin sa akin.

Sometimes I feel like Adam could forgive me... But most of the times ay ganito siya. He's cold and distant... That it makes me doubt him, too... I don't know anymore what he's thinking.

So in the end I chose to contact Kuya Levi and asked him to help me even just until I give birth. Pagkatapos kong manganak ay baka bumalik din ako sa mga Zachmann... I mean I don't think I know how to live my life after this...

All my life I've been living with the Zachmanns. And aside from the family I grew up to, si Adam lang sana ang mapapagkatiwalaan ko rin... But I realized that I couldn't depend on him...

"Then... when will you be done with me?" I asked him as I looked at him with my eyes probably looking almost lifeless now...

Nanatili ang mga mata ni Adam na nakatingin sa akin. Sa huli ay sinabi niyang, "That's for me to decide." He said.

I thought that maybe he just couldn't make up his mind... But until when? At hindi na ako sigurado na kung sasabihin ko ba sa kaniyang buntis ako ay magbabago pa ang isip niya...

I just wasn't sure anymore...

At gusto ko lang makasiguradong magiging maayos ang anak ko. So I asked for my brother's help instead. And after Kuya Levi agreed pinlano ko na rin ang pagtakas ko sa condo ni Adam. I'm still Aeva Zachmann after all. I was trained enough to be able to do such a task. Ang pagtakas dito sa puder ni Adam ay hindi naman talaga ganoon kahirap... Lalo na at siya lang naman ang nagbabantay sa akin at napansin kong wala nang iba pa. After observing for weeks I realized that. At hindi rin naman talaga mahigpit ang pagbabantay ni Adam... And I think I can just make my way out of here...

I just have to do something before that...

"What are you doing?" Parang nagulat pa siya nang pagkalabas niya ng bathroom ay nadatnan na lang niya ako sa kama niyang hubad na at wala nang ni isang saplot.

Yes, I plan to seduce him tonight. I'll tire his body until he's deep asleep later. At pagkatapos ay saka ako tatakas... at iiwan ko siya...

I think if Aldrich learned that I'm not with Adam anymore ay hindi na rin naman niya ito pupuntahan pa. I know that he's a reasonable person at hindi naman na niya kakalabanin pa lalo ang mga Rozovsky kung malalaman niyang wala na naman ako rito kay Adam. At isa pa ay tingin ko pagkatapos ng nangyari pinoprotektahan na naman ngayon ng pamilya niya si Adam. Siya lang din itong matigas pa rin ang ulo na nanatili pa rin dito.

Because I sometimes heard him talking to probably his mom. Mukhang pinapauwi na nga siya ng Germany. And I can only hope and pray that he'll just follow his family. It's for his own safety, too.

Kung gusto niya talagang maghiganti sa akin... Well, he can do that later... Just let me make sure first that our child will be delivered safely out to this world... Pagkatapos ay wala na akong pakialam kung ano man ang gustong gawin sa akin ng mga Zachmann at kahit pa ni Adam...

"What do you think I'm doing?" I asked him back.

Lumapit si Adam sa kama niya. Gumapang naman ako palapit sa kaniya. A towel was still wrapped around his waist dahil kakatapos niya lang maligo. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya habang marahan kong inaalis ang tuwalya sa baywang niya. Nakatingin din sa akin si Adam.

And I think I realized something and think about it for awhile... Naisip kong kahit ipakita pa sa akin ni Adam na galit siya at umakto pa siyang malamig, he's still weak when it came to me and this...

And then I remember that he's never been with any other girl before than me. So it's safe to think that I'm his only... Maybe one day he will have another woman... to love... and even build his own family with her...

At pagkatapos ng lahat ng ito ay makakalimutan niya rin ako... He will move on and be happy... Be back to being the Adam that I know of before all these happened. The angel Adam Rozovsky...

And do I feel sad about it? About Adam loving someone else... Maybe yes... But I will be happy for him, really. Kasi gusto kong bumalik pa siya sa dati nang siya. The kind and gentle Adam Mikolos Rozovsky...

Siguro ay magiging malungkot lang din ako para sa anak ko. But I'll make sure that he/she will have a better family... This child doesn't deserve the world where I'm in.

I started sucking Adam's dick just after licking it with my wet tongue for a while. He's growing bigger and harder. Nakatingin lang siya sa ginagawa ko hanggang sa hindi na rin niya mapigilan ang sarili at umawang na ang labi niya...

I smiled like an evil bitch as he already moved to top my aching body as well... I'm aching for his touch... and his kisses... Kahit ngayong gabi lang. Gusto kong magsawa ako kahit pa hindi ko na alam ang iniisip ni Adam. I want to think that we're still making love... That Adam Mikolos Rozovsky was still making love to me... And I'll love him too even for the last time...

"What's really your plan for your child, Aeva?" Kuya Levi asked me.

Hindi agad ako nakasagot sa tanong niya. Kahit may naisip na rin naman akong isagot. I've been thinking of giving away this child... just right after I give birth. Dahil naisip kong hindi rin naman siya magiging ligtas sa buhay na mayroon kami. I want this child to have a different life than mine... A normal one.

Bumaling ako kay Kuya Levi. I'm under his care now. Tinago niya ako mula sa pamilya namin. Kagaya ng hiniling ko sa kaniya na hanggang sa manganak lang ako...

"Do you know someone, Kuya Levi... Who would want to adopt this child. And will love... and take care of him..." I said, touching my now already protruding belly...

A small and sad smile formed on my lips...

I've gone to the doctor several times already. Sinasamahan lang ako ni Kuya Levi. At nalaman na rin namin ang gender ng bata. It's a boy.

At hindi ko maiwasang maisip pa rin si Adam... I imagined what our child would probably look like, siguro ay magiging kamukha rin siya ni Adam... ng Papa niya...

A handsome and gentle boy...

Huminga ako at pilit na lang winala sa isip ko ang pag-iisip niyon. Pagkatapos ay nagsalita na rin si Kuya Levi kaya natuon muli sa kaniya ang atensyon ko.

"What do you mean, Aeva?" Mas seryoso na siya ngayong nakatingin sa akin. "You plan on just giving away your child?" Mukhang hindi rin siya sang-ayon sa akin.

"I have no choice, Kuya Levi. Ayaw kong ang mundo natin ang makagisnan din ng anak ko. At least I want him to live a normal life." I reasoned. And I was getting emotional...

I still have my emotion. Nakakaramdam pa rin naman ako. At naapektuhan din. This was no easy for me. Ang ipamigay na lang ang anak ko ay parang mga kutsilyong tumutusok deretso sa dibdib ko. I feel like just dying every time I think about it. Masakit din naman para sa akin. But I have no choice...

I would never want my child to become a killer like his own mother... Kaya mabuti na hindi na rin niya ako makilala pa...