Chapter Thirty-four

Killer

"I know your family, Aeva." Seryosong sinabi sa akin ni Adam.

I looked at him and couldn't say anything...

"I still cannot believe it that my own son grew up with the kind of family you have." He said.

I get it. I know that he's referring to my family who were a family of assassins... And I know that Adam thinks that we are dangerous for Mikos. I think that, too. Kaya nga palagi rin akong nag-aalala noon pa man lalo na para sa anak ko. Dahil rin sa klase ng pamilya na mayroon ako.

He probably already had us investigated... Kaya nga hindi ko pa rin alam hanggang ngayon kung bakit wala siya o ang pamilya niya na ginawang aksyon pagkatapos ng nangyari rin noon sa kaniya involving my family, the Zachmanns.

I know that with the kind of a powerful family he has, the Rozovskys, alam kong may magagawa rin sila. But they remained not doing anything about it up until now...

At hindi rin naman sa gusto kong may gawin sila... I just wonder. And I'm glad that they didn't do anything to my family or to me...

"I've been just holding myself back because of my son. But I want to make it clear that I didn't like any of this, Aeva. Hindi ko nagustuhan na pinalaki ang anak ko kasama n'yo na mga kriminal..."

My eyes widened. Alam ko rin naman ang pinupunto rito ni Adam... Pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasan na makaramdam pa rin ng sakit sa mga sinasabi niya sa akin ngayon...

And he didn't stop there as he continued throwing me words after words. And I just kept my silence until he was finished...

"I didn't like that you hide my own child from me. I should've been there. I should've been able to take of my son. Hindi sana siya lumaking wala ako. Hindi mo dapat siya pinagkait sa akin." aniyang puno pa rin ng hinanakit.

And I just accepted it all...

"So now I think that it will only be right kung sa akin naman ang anak ko." He said.

It caught my attention and I looked back up at him.

"What do you mean, Adam..." nasambit ko na rin.

He was also just looking at me. And I couldn't read his emotions... "Mikos deserve to grow up in a better environment. I won't allow for him to continue living with you." He said.

And I can't help it anymore but to interrupt him. "Ano ang ibig mong sabihin, Adam? Kukunin mo ba si Mikos sa akin? Anak ko siya, Adam." I firmly said, showing my disagreement to him.

"And he's my son, too." mariin din na sinabi sa akin ni Adam.

Umiling ako.

Hindi ganito ang inasahan ko...

Inisip ko pa that when Adam will accept me again and our son, that maybe that would also be the time when I will talk to the Zachmanns.

I will quit being an assassin... Tatalikuran namin ng anak ko ang buhay na ito at maglalakas-loob na ako dahil nand'yan na si Adam at may tutulong na sa amin ni Mikos...

But maybe I was too idealistic... I didn't think this through. I should've known that it wouldn't be easy. Na hindi naman talaga basta-basta lang matatanggap ni Adam ang lahat...

I was wrong...

"It's for the best for Mikos. It what's best for my son. At inisip mo rin ba ito? What kind of job do you have now? Probably you're still working with your family." He gritted his teeth. "Have you ever think about Mikos, really? Alam ba ng anak natin ang ginagawa mo? How would Mikos probably feel when he finds out that his own mother is a killer?"

And it stabbed me like a knife. Alam ko naman iyon... I was aware... Pero kailangan pa ba talagang lalong ipamukha iyon sa akin ni Adam?

Akala ba niya hindi ako nasasaktan sa pag-iisip pa lang na ganoon nga? I was never a perfect mother to my own child. Marami akong naging mga maling desisyon sa buhay kong ito na naapektuhan din ang anak ko. At pinagsisihan ko rin na mga naging desisyon ko. But I love my son so much. And I'm doing the best I can now and it's mainly for him, too. It's all for Mikos now.

Kaya naman pakiramdam ko ngayon ay parang namamaliit din ako ni Adam... At nanliliit na rin ako sa sarili ko.

I never claimed to be a good person. Alam kong may ginagawa ako na hindi mabuti. Alam kong mali ang pagpatay no matter if it's to give justice to someone, to people... Alam ko nang hindi ko dapat nilalagay sa mga kamay ko ang batas. But I had no choice...

"I can't let my son be with someone like you, even if you're his mother. A mother who's a killer..." He said it again.

Tiningnan ko na lang si Adam...

I was so wrong...

Even if I had no choice... The family who only adopted me and I grew up to didn't give me a choice if I wanted to be an assassin like them or not. I wasn't anymore given a chance to live a different life than I had...

Because if I was allowed to... I would've lived a different life from this. Hindi ko rin naman ginusto na maging ganitong tao ako. And I was never proud of it.

But I didn't anymore explain myself further to Adam.

Nasaktan pa rin naman ako sa mga sinabi niya ngayon sa akin.

And there's disappointment too besides the hurt. Especially that I even expected him like to save me and my son. To save us...

But then I realized, as I carried Mikos carefully and as quietly as possible out of his father's house, I thought to myself that maybe I'm the one who can only save myself. I can save us and my son out of this. I can do it.

"Shhh..." I quietly hushed Mikos who was in my arms now. Natutulog pa siya at hindi ko na rin ginising pa. Because I know that he'll have questions.

Magtatanong siya kung bakit tahimik kaming umaalis ngayon sa bahay ng tatay niya at iniiwan namin si Adam...

I've decided. I got scared again of Adam or his family's influence. At baka nga tuluyang makuha sa akin ang anak ko. And the thought that I might not be able to see Mikos ever again scares me the most. Kaya hindi ko hahayaang mangyari 'yon.

On our next nights here, pumayag naman na si Mikos na sa guest room na kami ng bahay ni Adam matulog. At first I even told him that he can continue to sleep with his Dad instead if he wants to at ako na lang ang lilipat at sa guest room na matutulog. But then Mikos would rather sleep with me.

Gabi pa at hinintay ko lang talaga na malalim na ang tulog ni Adam sa kwarto niya. He might not expect this but I'm doing this. Hindi niya kami mapaghihiwalay ng anak ko. I'd rather fight him to death than let my son be taken away from me. Hinding-hindi ako makakapayag.

Hindi na rin ako gumamit pa ng sasakyan sa pag-alis. Dahil maririnig lang ni Adam ang makina nito. Medyo nahirapan lang din ako na dala ko si Mikos at buhat sa payat kong mga braso hanggang sa makalayo kami. And he's also already bigger now than he used to be when he was more little.

Mabuti na lang at nang nakalayo-layo pa lang kami sa bahay ni Adam ay may dumaan ding sasakyan na napakiusapan kong masakyan papunta sa may masasakyan muli hanggang sa makarating kami ng airport. It was almost a miracle at this time of the night. Hindi ko rin perpektong naplano itong pagtakas namin. Pero gusto ko lang talagang matakasan si Adam dahil ayaw kong kunin niya sa akin ang anak ko. If only I have known hindi ko na lang sana pinakilala pa sa kaniya ang anak ko... And I just kept Mikos away from his father...

Even if I knew that it would also be wrong...

Kaysa naman mawala rin sa akin ang anak ko. At si Mikos na lang ang buhay ko. I can't let that happen.

And then I remember that I was called weak. And I myself also thought that I was maybe really weak. But then I realized that maybe I was just not made for this... I was never fit to be an assassin.

And so the next thing I did I confronted the Zachmann old couple. Sa kanila ako dumeretso. And now I did it calmly... Hindi na ako nagmakaawa pa sa kanilang muli. Parang tumapang pa ako when I realized that my child could be taken away from me. Hindi na ako nagmakaawang pakawalan na nila ako at para naman ito sa anak ko. Adam was right that I shouldn't continue living like this with Mikos. Pero hindi tama na gusto niyang kunin sa akin si Mikos at balak pa niya na paghiwalayin kami ng anak ko.

It will never be right.

"Is that your decision, Aeva?" Tinanong pa ako nito ng Mama.

Wala namang pag-aalinlinlangan ang agad ko ring pagtango sa kaniya. "I have to do this for my child." I said.

Pagkatapos ay tumango naman si Mama. Wala na ring sinabi si Papa.

"All right then, if that's your decision..." she said.

After that with the help of my siblings and our private connections, saka pa lang umangat na ang araw para sa sumunod na umaga nang nasa himpapawid na kami ni Mikos sakay ng isang eroplano at umaalis na ng bansang kinalakihan ko...

It was a long night...

I turned to my son who just woke up beside me. Ngumiti pa ako sa kaniya but he already greeted me with a confused look on his face. And I understand. I also already expected this.

"Where are we, Mama? What's happening..." His little lips parted.

And I begun explaining it to him. "Mikos, we can't be with your Dad again..." I tried to carefully say it to him.

At ginugol ko pa ang sumunod na oras sa pagpapaintindi sa kaniya kahit hindi niya rin ako lubusang maintindihan at nagalit pa siya sa akin dahil mukhang pinaglalayo ko na naman sila ng ama niya...

But I'm only doing this because I can't bear losing him...

"Mikos, gusto ka niyang kunin sa akin. Gusto niya tayong paghiwalaying dalawa. Is that okay with you?"

Natigilan na si Mikos sa sinabi ko. He was looking at me and I looked at him in the eyes as well. "Yes, you can be with your father. But you won't see me anymore? Gusto mo ba iyon?" I can't help it anymore. Gusto ko na lang na maintindihan niya...

He blinked his eyes. And then I just pulled him and hugged him. Hinagkan ko siya. "I'm so sorry, Mikos..." I said.

Wala na rin sinabi si Mikos at tahimik na lang siya pagkatapos... But I was hopeful that everything will be fine again especially between us after this.

Sakay na kami ng eroplano at sa paglalapagan namin nandoon at kukunin naman kami ni Ate Asherina na kasalukuyan ding nasa ibang bansa na pupuntahan din namin ngayon ni Mikos and she's taking care of her sister...

I sighed.

In the end I still needed their help. And I'm glad that they could help me and my son.

And since then I started using my old surname again. And I wasn't anymore a Zachmann...

Author's Note: Hello, readers! The Wattpad version ends here in Chapter 34. Chapter 35-50 and Epilogue is available to read in Patreon/Facebook group. Including Adam's POV. Kindly send a message to Facebook Rej Martinez or Facebook page Rej Martinez's Stories to join VIP group. Membership is 150/month. And read all my other Patreon exclusive stories, too! Thank you so much for your love and support for Rej Martinez's stories.