Valarya de Mertaire

"We can't find Ashe Knightley," I overheard Ilias telling my father in the room next door.

What? Eavesdropping on my potential future fiancé having a political conversation with my father was absolutely in my nature. 

"Put the country into lockdown. I want that man found, dead or alive."

"I will order my guards to prevent traveling outside Thaeleck," Ilias clarified.

As if he had any control over the Guard. The thought of him being able to command the Guard was amusing—

"Sir Blackus said that you were the perfect Commander in Chief. Do not disappoint me."

My jaw slacked. Commander. Ilias was the Commander of the Guard? It was a good thing he wasn't the most strategic man I'd ever met. Not enough to outsmart me, at least.

But he could find Ashe...

Then I guess I'd just have to prevent Ilias from capturing my friend.

I heard footsteps near the door I was leaning against. Quickly gathering my gown, I hid in the sparring room. Father forbade me from sparring since he figured out I learned to fight better.

My fingertips touched the large gem on my hand. It was dazzling. It was my mother's ring. Even though I told Ilias I'd think about his proposal, he still allowed me to keep the ring until I gave a firm answer.

And I was unsure. My heart fluttered at the thought of being married to him, but there was that lingering image of Ashe's letter.

And you, my princess, are the truest friend I could've asked for.

Though my heart fluttered—though I loved Ilias and felt the utmost need to scream—I couldn't help the sting of confusion when I saw that in his letter. Ashe was the closest thing I had to a friend in my entire life, so why did it feel so strange?

That was probably a normal thing to feel toward friends. What did I know?

"My princess, is everything all right?"

I whirled around, facing Ilias. He was handsome. Angelically handsome. Saints, why didn't I say yes? "I'm perfectly fine now that you're here," I replied, placing my hand on his arm.

We walked through the corridors, neither of us saying a word. It was usually easy for me to strike a conversation.

"Princess Valarya," a guard called out to me, "you're needed in the throne room."

Nodding, Ilias led us to the room. Outside the windows was a crowd of people jotting down things into their notepads.

Ilias opened the doors to the throne room.

I was greeted by reporters from the press who shoved Ilias out of the way and began throwing questions at me. Their notepads flashed across my vision as hands yanked at me from all directions. Normally, I'd think about breaking their hands for touching me so much, but most were admiring the beadwork in my gown.

Not going to lie, I was adoring the attention.

"Princess Valarya, please take a seat," my mother called out from the dais.

Stepping out of the crowd, I walked up to my seat and sat. Mere seconds later, Ilias joined me in the throne next to me. Never had I thought I'd see the day Ilias had equal power to me.

"One at a time or I will request the media to leave," my mother ordered.

They all stood in a single file line. Such obedience from people who cared little about privacy. I almost pitied them.

"Princess Valarya, are the rumors of you being engaged to the man next to you true?" the reporter asked, his hand getting ready to write down my response.

I opened my mouth to respond, but I was interrupted by Ilias. "Yes. We are currently planning our wedding."

I jerked my head at him. His hand tightened on my wrist, telling me to wait until after the media left.

Forcing a smile, I added, "So it seems I've suddenly been engaged! Looks like I've finally found the love of my life. Wouldn't you agree, Mother?"

Mother stayed deadly quiet, glaring at Ilias.

"Anyway, my lovely fiancée and I are madly in love. We will release the wedding date into the media soon."

Ilias leaned forward, asking for the next man in line to come forward.

"The rumors of Ashe Knightley having killed the late princess Manea have sprung back up. How do you plan to handle the situation concerning him?"

"Ashe Knightley has been proven to not be involved in the murder of—"

"What Princess Valarya meant to say," Ilias said, glaring at me, "is that we have been hard at work closing down transportation in and out of the country. We are doing our best to gather more proof of Ashe Knightley being the cold-hearted killer of our late crowned princess."

I pulled my hand away from his, slowly getting up from my throne seat and standing behind him. Leaning down, I dug my nails into his shoulders and whispered into his ear, "Interrupt me again and I will make sure you are not Commander of the Guard anymore."

Ilias gave a hard swallow.

"Anymore questions?" I called out to the reporters.

"Princess Valarya, do you have plans to give Crown Matrimonial to Ilias?"

I snapped my head up from my dear love's ears.

"To be completely honest, I haven't thought about it." Admittedly that was my fault. Whether or not I allowed Ilias to have equal power as me didn't matter to me as long as we were happy.

"We will be adjourning the meetings today—"

"But you've only answered three questions—"

"I don't want to repeat myself," my mother ordered. "Guards, make sure they calmly exit the Palace."

The media made its way out the Palace, murmuring amongst themselves.

"You will not be getting Crown Matrimonial," Mother hissed from her throne.

"I don't think the choice is up to you, Merelle." Ilias threw my arms off him, swirling back to face me. "Nor is it your choice, my dear. After that little show you decided to put on in front of everyone, you should be lucky your father ever lets you leave your bedchambers."

"Excuse me?" I grabbed Ilias by his collar, pulling him back to face me. "Talk to me like that again and I will rip your tongue out."

Ilias blinked, deftly trying to wiggle out of my grip. I only tightened in response.

"My daughter does not need another pathetic political marriage getting in the way of her headspace. She needs someone better—"

"I'm the best option we have," Ilias yelled back at Mother. "And you would do well to remember the deal you made with King Lorcan. If Valarya wants to keep complaining about her situation, she is selfish."

"Repeat that again," Mother said, stepping closer to Ilias.

My mouth went dry.

"We are all struggling right now. Thaeleck is struggling. We need this marriage to work so we can finally get ourselves situated. Personally, if Valarya chooses to reject my proposal, then she would be considered selfish and a downright coward—"

My hand burned as I peeled it away from Ilias's face. I didn't know how that happened. My head pounded, my insides felt like they were burning.

"Did you just slap me?" Ilias said, bringing his head up as his hand rested on top to cool off the burning ache.

"Damn right she did, you little bitch," the voice in my head said.

I darted out of the throne room. Behind me, a stampede of guards marched after me, ordering me to stop.

*~⚜️~*

The dandelions had bloomed.

I sat in the middle of the field and laid back, watching the sunset above me. In the distance the waves crashed, releasing the faint aroma of earthiness. Irene and I used to lay out here whenever Father or Mother were annoying us. We'd cuss at them, get angry and pluck as many dandelions as possible, then stomp back into the Palace. Whila would sometimes make Irene and I flower crowns.

Maybe Irene's ghost could sit with me and watch the sunset.

"That little brat," the voice crackled through my head. "Please tell me you're reconsidering marrying that dumpster."

"How would I do that?" I asked the voice. The ring on my finger gleamed, reminding me that I loved him.

"I would've killed him for saying that."

"Why do you care? As if you're not thinking the same thing."

"You are not selfish if you don't want to marry him—"

"Don't try to make this any better." I sat up, slipping my ring back on. "Maybe Ilias was right."

The voice scoffed. "My princess, that orangutan does not deserve you."

"I love that orangutan that you're talking about."

"You don't."

"You can't tell me I don't love him."

"You love a man that doesn't value your opinion?"

I glanced down at my hand again, but I wasn't looking at the giant gem. The small aquamarine gem that dangled off my wrist. So small—so... worthless compared to the giant ring I got from Ilias.

"He's right, you know," I grumbled. "There are worse problems in the world than me being indecisive. I don't get the right to drag my citizens through my struggles. I'd be selfish if I did so."

"You're so blinded by Ilias. You aren't selfish."

"You told me that you met me once. Be honest; I am selfish and inconsiderate."

"You were. But people change. You changed, my princess. You've become such a beautiful soul, and even I find myself wondering how."

"A beautiful soul," I mocked, shoving my face into my hands. "People don't change overnight like that."

"You really think you changed overnight?"

"You make it sound like it was a miracle—"

"When I first met you, I despised you. You were selfish and completely ignorant to everyone's struggles. In fact, you made me question if you were even possible of change—"

"My point exactly—"

"Let me finish," the voice snapped. "The fact that you're considering marrying Ilias after he did that proves that you are selfless. Too selfless. You've proved me wrong."

I bit the insides of my cheek, fidgeting with Ashe's bracelet.

"And personally, I think that Ashe man is many times more handsome than that horsefaced Ilias."

Laughing, I took a deep inhale of the intoxicating ocean breeze. "You're good at comforting me."

"Look," the voice said, more serious than before, "I'm serious. Please think about this. Is a lifetime of this man going to be worth it to you? What about your feelings?"

"What about my feelings?" I reiterated.

"You really love Ilias?"

I pursed my lips, touching the small gem dangling off the bracelet. Even if I was married to Ilias, I could always have Ashe as a friend. After all, it's not like Ashe was with me longer than Ilias.

Ilias was with me when Manea died. He was with me through it all. I couldn't forget that so easily.

"I do," I whispered.

Why did it feel like I was lying?

"I'm sorry. Sometimes I can control your actions if I concentrate enough. I slapped Ilias."

"Why?"

"Because he shouldn't say things like that, but I understand if he makes you happiest. I wish you well on your future engagements."