***

It has been a while since Melanie stepped into our lives. Even though it wasn't so obvious at first but now I know that her presence has changed everything. Me and Stefan get along well with each other and we haven't argued since... well... a few weeks, and that's a big difference. 

I know it is strange but I guess I like to spend as much time as I can with the little kid. Taking her in as our sister had been a good decision after all. Though whenever I look at her I get a very odd feeling as if there is something more than what we know about her. 

As if we are unaware of the most crucial point behind her identity. And especially when she looks at me with those large blue eyes that are so unnervingly like my own I can't help but think that there is some connection between us and Melanie. 

I have done all I could to figure out who were her real parents. I have read and reread all my old journals millions of times trying to figure out if there's any possible link that could relate me and the girl. 

I have even gone through all of Stefan's journals. He thinks its useless now to dig up old graves but the feeling I get about it all signifies that this is more important than it may seem right now. But as Stefan says I've laid it to rest for the time being.

It sometimes troubles me to see that I'm getting more attached to her than it's necessary. And I think she has come too closer to me. I'm not afraid for myself though I fear for her safety. By every passing day I find myself more and more dependent on her as if she has become a crucial element for survival. 

I don't know why I need her with me, with us so badly and sometimes it worries me that I would become selfish with her. I don't want to be selfish with her. I don't want her to get hurt, not even in the least possible way. I feel the need to protect her and shelter her from the cruel ways of the world. 

It's been hardly a month or two but I simply can't imagine life without Melanie. She is so full of constant chatter and imagination and hearing her innocent remarks or seeing the way she tries to make us laugh by acting like me in a cocky mood or Stefan in his Saintly fits literally lights up our dull lives. 

She has become the center of my attention as if my whole life has begun to revolve around her like a planet in orbit. I can't even bear to see a single tear in those blue eyes of hers. I just can't. 

She has made me feel and so far she is the only one who has managed to do that. With her I'm different. I try not to be the Monster I am. She has forced me to break down the impenetrable walls around me and has stepped into my heart and my life as easy as a windblown feather. 

With her I'm not emotionless. 

She makes me see the world in a new light. Her perspectives are so innocent and refreshingly childish that she has become my very own sunshine. It seems as if she has changed me entirely from a coldblooded monster to an almost human person. 

She has made me love again even though I despised it. She has made me feel even though I had shut everything out. I know I can't be selfish with her. Never in a million years. I just can't. Because I love her. 

Yeah it sounds unnatural but I sincerely and truly love her. I'm the only person she has in the world closest to a father. Ah well Stefan doesn't count since he acts more like a motherly figure to her. But my point is that I can't let her trust break in me. I won't.

Sometimes I get so desperate and frustrated that I just lose myself. And I worry what would be the consequences if I hurt her. I don't want to in fact I can't bear to. But some things are beyond my control and I just can't help it. 

I want to do anything in my power to ensure that she stays away from pain, sorrow, danger and any kinds of trouble. I don't want either me or her to suffer again but my instincts tell me that loving her so foolishly as I do is going to end in flames. 

I fear everything will get dreadfully screwed up in the end. And I hope that these instincts are wrong even though they are usually always correct.

***