Alistair

Since I spent Saturday night alone, I took the opportunity to catch up on some studying because I'm that much of a nerd. Also, I had to take advantage of the fact that "my room" was free without Chris or Tris.

Though I think after having slept with Ben in his room since Christmas, I should probably stop considering this my room. The truth is after sharing a sleeping arrangement with both of the boys for a decade it's difficult to consider anywhere away from them "my room".

However, life as we know it will never be the same again. Two of us are already mated and soon we'll have to make other sleeping arrangements, just as I'm already doing it since Christmas' Eve.

Anyway, for now I take my comfort in my friends' scents and take my time studying while everyone else enjoys their Saturday night. I was never much of a party boy to begin with.

But as soon as my mate returned, later that night, I'm back at his bedroom ready to complete the bond once again. I love spending some alone time with my mate.

I make no apologies, I love Benjamin Livingstone.

"I love you, mate." - I declared once he collapsed to my side of the bed after making me sweat for the last thirty minutes while naked.

"I love you too, mate. I never thought I'd be able to say this after our journey together, but I do. You are my heart." - He spoke in the sweetest voice and I swooned.

I kissed him for a minute before we got up to take a shower. Werewolves need to be careful about their hygiene otherwise people will get wind of your night activities.

Not that any of the stuff we do here is a secret or anybody's business, but that doesn't mean we want people scenting us after we make love. Plus, we eat with our families. So, boundaries.

The next morning, we got downstairs to have breakfast in our separate dining rooms. It could feel like segregation of sorts, but this isn't about an upstairs / downstairs situation. The boarders don't feel as if they were less than the Alpha family - I know I don't, nor did they ever treat us like such.

But we can understand the need for separation for them. This is the place where they are raising a family and though it's a public venue for the members to enter or speak with the pack authorities, it is also their home.

Plus, they need a place to welcome guests for dinner that have nothing to do with the 'guests' who live here. It's part of the gig as I will learn soon when I start Luna training under Mrs. Livingstone.

Oh you thought only the Alpha and Beta had to train?

I wish... Apparently, I have a lot to learn.

Almost at the end of breakfast, a warrior enters the room and approaches me.

"Excuse me, Mr. Carrera. You have a visitor in the living room." - He announced it, catching momma's attention.

"Who is it?" - She asked him, curiously.

He gulped at her question and I can already tell who it is by his hesitancy in replying.

"I'm supposed to inform you that you're not to go near the living room for now and if you break pack law as a sworn member, you'll be prosecuted according to the law resulting in your immediate banishment." - He told momma, startling everyone with the powerful message.

Literally everyone gasped.

"Don't worry. You can tell the Alpha I have no intention of going after Bruno." - She dismissed it as if that wasn't a not so veiled threat.

"Thank you, sir. I'll be right on." - I told him, who left the dining room shortly.

"Do you need any backup?" - Chris asked me, ever so sweetly.

"No, Chris. I'm pretty sure he isn't here to assault me." - I joked, but no one laughed. I mean, the nervous stares were galore. Even among other boarders who didn't know my family well - but obviously heard about my story. And my momma's confrontation on Christmas. The entire pack heard about that.

I stood up and quietly walked towards the living room.

What the hell is he doing here? Does he have a death wish?

On the other hand, it's better for him to show up here than at my school, for example. At least, there's privacy here. Last thing I need at this point is an audience, especially with humans in the mix.

At least, there are no humans allowed inside the pack house - save for a mated human to one of us, of course. Goddess forbids I'd be mated to a human... I do NOT want to explain all of this to one of them.

"Good morning, Bruno. Have you come so that my mother puts you back into the hospital?" - I didn't mean to make a joke, but I'm obviously beyond nervous right now.

I entered the living room and closed the door. Bruno stood up from the couch to greet me. I haven't seen him 'awake' since Christmas. It's February now.

"No, I didn't. But if Mohammed doesn't come to the mountain..." - He snickered, laughing nervously.

"Maybe the mountain should take that as a hint?" - I finished the sentence, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Look, son-"

"Don't call me son!" - I cut him off, already pissed off.

He looked at me nervously.

"Just because you got to register me, that doesn't make you my father. As I understand, the only child you have is with Mrs. Carrera." - I told him in a snarky tone.

"I'm sorry, I didn't come here to fight with you." - He apologized in a disarming vulnerable tone.

"Then why did you come here?" - I asked him, taking a seat on the sofa. He did the same on an opposing one.

"Well, you came to see me at the hospital..."

"Yes, because I was told you were dying. Not because I wanted to talk." - I cut him off again, anxiously. As if I needed an excuse to see my biological father.

"I get that! I do, but once I woke up from the sedation and Sandra told me you had visited me almost everyday... something else woke up inside myself." - He explained, sounding as if his father's instincts had kicked in when I went after HIM.

"Well, I appreciate the visit. But we can go back to ignoring each other now. It's what you do best." - I jabbed at him, who winced.

"I'm sorry for abandoning you and your mother." - He offered, visibly emotional.

Sorry Bruno, I'm not buying what you're selling.

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry my momma got stuck with a five year old crying with hunger because his pappa never returned with the food. At first, she thought something had happened to you." - I started ranting.

"My momma walked around 3 miles tracking your scent, worried sick you were bleeding or dying in a ditch, maybe you were caught in a hunter's trap or something. And she did it with me in her arms." - I'm visibly shaking at the memory.

"It wasn't until she found your clothes ditched somewhere that it hit her. He's not lost, hurt or captured. He fled. He fucking abandoned us. He left her alone with a five year old to feed. Do you have any idea what that was like for her?" - I continued, beyond mad.

"I'm not talking about you abandoning a girlfriend, a hookup or whatever. But she had a toddler in her arms to care for. Alone. In the middle of the fucking woods. With no one to turn to whatsoever. Can you imagine if I caught something? Do you have any idea of the sacrifices she had to make just to keep me fed?" - My eyes are glowing in rage right now. Tears escape my control.

"She had to spend days eating a few berries and plants because she couldn't abandon me to hunt, for fear that if she did she wouldn't return to find me alive." - My body is quivering at the memory.

"She walked for miles on end to find a city with a shelter to take us, all the while fearing entering someone's pack and having them chase us away from their territory. You have no idea what it was like for her, for us back then." - I spoke, staring at him angrily.

"So no, I don't need you to remember to be a father to me now. I don't care what awoke inside you. As far as I'm concerned, it can go back to sleep!" - I yelled in a feral tone. I'm nervous as a leaf since all these bad memories came flooding back to me and I'm already wrecked.

I'm crying copiously right now, even if I didn't want to be vulnerable in front of him.

"I'm sorry for all the pain that I caused both you and your mother. I was a coward." - He admitted, painstakingly.

"You got that right!" - I shouted in agreement.

I have a hick up from the intense sobbing, I try to pull myself together.

"Where were you when I was in season and was accosted when I went to fetch water with momma?" - I stuttered nervously, I could barely enunciate the words.

"When momma had to put down three men because they wanted to..." - It was difficult for me to talk about it, I'm shaking so much I'm about to break down.

"That was her?" - He widened his eyes in surprise. I guess he heard about the bodies since he's a warrior.

"Yes, it was. They wanted to take advantage of both of us." - I cried loudly at the recent memory, the terror I felt. Bruno tries to hold me but I stop him.

"You have no idea what it was like for me... to feel like something in my biology attracted those vultures to prey on us." - I'm shaking so much I can barely speak, my tone is so low only a werewolf can hear me.

"You know that wasn't your fault, right? Any of this?" - He said, raising an eyebrow as if confirming the information.

"Of course it was my fault! What are you talking about? If I weren't an omega those men wouldn't have been attracted to my scent!" - I yelled at him, ferociously.

"No, it wasn't. You being an omega is a blessing. You are a treasure, Beto." - He said in an uplifting tone.

"My name is Alistair!" - I yelled at him, fuming. Honestly, if I weren't sitting, I would've collapsed.

"I'm sorry, but I need you to know that wasn't your fault." - He insisted, humbly but firmly.

"Yes, it was. Stop trying to make me feel better! You can't!" - I shouted, nervously.

"I'm not. But there's nothing in your biology that gives permission to a grown man to sexually assault you. Nothing. Omegas are a gift to us werewolf kind. You're a present to us from the Moon Goddess." - He assured me, even if I didn't want to listen.

The tears are uncontrollable. The shaking is getting worse and worse. I'm wrecked, gutted.

"You don't know what it felt like growing up thinking your father left because of you." - I said after a while. I found some water bottle stashed away in a corner and gulped it nervously.

"That wasn't your fault. I have always loved you especially because you were my precious omega. My gift from the Goddess." - He said in an endearing tone and I lost it.

"Get out! Get the fuck away from my sight!" - I yelled at him, ferociously.

"You were a gift to your mother and me. You were loved. I love you." - He reiterated, looking deep into my eyes as I bawled.

"What do you want from me, Bruno?" - I cried out to him, destroyed.

"I want you to know that it wasn't your fault." - He replied, ever so adoringly.

"Yes, it was. Everything was my fault!" - I rebuked, fulminating him with a death glare.

"No, it wasn't. Nothing that happened was your fault. Not what those men wanted with you and definitely not me leaving. I was a coward, yes. But my love for you never wavered. You were my precious son, my beautiful omega." - He spoke as if he was talking to that five year old once again.

I cried so hard that I thought my tear ducts were gonna give out. It became such a thing that my mate finally intervened and barged into the living room.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Carrera. I need to take my mate now otherwise he'll pass out." - He told Bruno, who stood up from the couch in deference.

Ben took me in his arms and carried me into our room. He offered me some much needed water and Sarah made me one of her teas to relax. I drift off to sleep after that. I woke up after having skipped lunch time, but my mate was next to me in the bed, watching me over.

"I'm sorry for today. I didn't mean to trouble you." - I apologized, sitting up on the bed.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong." - He said, caressing my face sweetly.

"Did Bruno leave?" - I asked him, though I'm pretty sure of the answer.

"Yes, he did. But he told me to tell you it wasn't your fault." - He conveyed the message and I find it difficult to hear it.

"Sure." - I rolled my eyes.

"Despite everything he did, he wasn't wrong in telling you that. It really wasn't your fault. None of it. Not those guys trying to abuse you, not your father abandoning. None of these facts were your fault!" - He reiterated in a serious tone.

I kissed him tenderly. I know what he meant. It's just difficult to sink in.

But never in my life was I so happy to be mated to Ben Livingstone.

He is my everything. And though I don't really think this is the last time that I will encounter Bruno in my life, I'm just glad to have survived it with him by my side. Woof, that was difficult to get through.

https://youtu.be/m_9hfHvQSNo

A|N: Not gonna lie, I cried during some of those lines back there.

Again, this is a bit too relatable to me even if I don't mean to be.

Funny enough, I thought me writing werewolf stories would mean I'd steer clear from personal baggage, but apparently not so much.

And though this novel isn't even my most relatable one as I said before, some topics are really kicking my ass. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

If I don't ground these stories in real emotions and situations then I might as well be writing fluffy stuff (no shade). I love the balance between lighter and darker subjects.

But for now, the next chapter is also a doozy.

OFF: This was loosely inspired by the classic scene from the film "Good Will Hunting". If you watched the film, you know which scene I'm referring to. And if you haven't, please do. It was totally worth the Oscar.

Love,

Léo.