- NOT EDITED -

                          I immediately freeze up once Liam presses his lips to mine.

Mainly because I have no clue on what to do.

I have never kissed anyone before. Maybe when I was a ignorant child and I thought it would be fun to kiss a boy. Naturally, I didn't know what to do. So it would resort in chaste and silly, short pecks that left us giggling afterwards.

Those were simple pecks that didn't require much effort, though.This does.

What do I do? 

I consider pulling away and saving myself the embarrassment. But just as I ponder this, Liam grips me ever so tighter. It makes me believe that he's anticipated my actions before hand. Figures.

He slides his hand down from my cheek to my chin, where he tilts my head upwards and slowly maneuvers his lips on mine, silently showing me what to do.

I squeeze my eyes shut and remain still under his movements.

It takes me a while before I finally gain up the nerve and begin to kiss back. My kisses start off clumsy as I nervously fumble my lips with his, but soon enough, with Liam's guidance, I respond more eagerly and smoothly.

 And once those nerves that I felt before are pressed to the back of my mind, I start to notice faint sensations that are beginning to creep up on me.

Like the shiver that ripples up my spine and the feeling that arises in my chest and makes warmth flood through my whole body.

And though this is completely weird and foreign to me, I determine it's the best sensation I have ever experienced yet.

I drag my hand away from his chest to his neck and I note vaguely that his skin feels oddly hot under my fingertips and the way Liam tastes of cinnamon and something else that is sickly sweet.

And I simply can't get enough of him.

We break apart briefly, catching our breaths for a minute or two before we kiss again. This time though, the kiss isn't soft or gentle, it's needy and urgent.

As time passes, I end up pressed against a tree with my legs and arms and just about every body part wrapped Liam. He has me wrapped up in his arms too. 

I don't feel the cold anymore. Not when the tree is protecting us from the rain and the fact that Liam is huddled over me, protecting me with his broad body from the stray raindrops that find their way through the leaves and branches above us. 

He pulls away shortly after this thought occurs and leans his forehead right against me. He examines me silently and wondrously, wiping away wet strands of hair that stick to my face. 

 The corner of his lips tug up in a smile and hesitantly, I return it. He let's me down despite my slight protest and wraps his arms around me. "Let's get you inside before you get sick."

I roll my eyes at him, but I don't argue. Mainly because I'm still dazed about what just happened.

Liam and I kissed, I think dreamily. 

And the worst part is that I liked it. Loved it. 

Because what the hell happened to never-let-Liam-get-close-to-me plan? Wasn't I supposed to cut all strings with him? Wasn't I supposed to cut strings with everyone? Yeah, it was.

I was supposed to skip town and run away from my problems. Away from Alpha Beckett, Adam, Anna, my dad, and well, Liam.

But who was I trying to fool? Them or me? I couldn't leave. Not as easily as I wanted. I have connections here. People who I care for, I guess. Like Liam.

Yeah, I can run away from my problems, but not fate. And I surely couldn't run away from my emotions.

I tried when my mom died. That certainly didn't work. And it won't with Liam. 

Ending up where I am right now with Liam was bound to happen. Sure, I fooled myself that I would never come to grow close to Liam, but that was also really stupid.

It's so cliche. Kissing in the rain, the whole love/hate relationship with Liam. My fear of loving someone. God, my life has become a teen fiction romance.

The only problem is that I won't have a happy ending with Alpha Beckett on my case. And the mating ceremony looming over my head.

The mating ceremony is only three weeks. 

The thought hits me suddenly. It feels like a punch to my stomach and like the wind has just been knocked out of me.

Because I don't know what to do. Because I don't know how to avoid becoming Adam's mate. Because I'm scared I'm going to be forced to be with someone who I don't even love. Who I don't even like. 

 Yeah, unlike those teen fiction romance's, I certainly won't get my fairytale ending.

                                          We arrive at Liam's place about fifteen minutes later. Immediately when we get inside, Liam tosses me a pair of shorts and a shirt that fits me like some ridiculous dress. I toss him back the shorts when I get out of the bathroom.

I help him with wringing out the water of our clothes since Liam doesn't have a dryer in his small cabin. We hang them over the fire and take a seat on the couch where we sit in silence, listening to the fire crackle.

The silence isn't awkward, though. Well, at least not for me. I'm too busy replaying the kiss over and over again in my head to even pay attention.

 I just can't get it out of my head. 

I'm left wondering where Liam and I now stand. Are we friends who kiss? Are we a couple? I'm not sure. And I'm too embarrassed to question him on it. It'll make me look like an idiot.

I also don't ask because I'm not sure where I want us to stand. I don't know if I want to forget the kiss or if I want to remember it. I don't know if I'm grateful if it happened or if I regret. It's all so confusing.

Liam notices my obvious distress and twists around to face me. His eyebrows furrow at the sight of me gnawing on my lip and twisting my fingers together. "Are you okay?" He asks.

I don't reply for a minute. I simply bite down harder on my lip till I taste blood and the familiar coppery taste fills my mouth. I ignore the pinch of pain that follows and continue pressing my teeth down on the cut that I've just re-opened that was caused by the Purgatory pack.

"Is that blood?" Liam eyes widen and he leans forward. I'm sure he's got his confirmation because he shoots up and rushes to the kitchen, wetting a paper towel and coming back. 

"I'm fine," I say when he tries to press the wet cloth to my lips. I push his hand away and wipe at the blood with my fingertips. "Just a cut."

Liam swats my hand away and forces me to be still when he grasps my chin. I resist the urge to thrash and let him do as he pleases.

When he's done, he pulls away and discards the paper to the side, shaking his head at me as if I'm some naughty child that has been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "What'd you do that for? You opened up the cut again on your lip that was starting to heal," He frowns, "Do you always that? Bite on your lip till it bleeds?"

"It sounds bad when you put it like that," I mutter and reach up to touch my lip, but Liam, again, swats my hand away.

"It'll start bleeding again if touch it." 

I roll my eyes, "It's just a little blood." When I say this, Liam makes a face of distaste and before I can swallow down the words, I blurt, "Does it gross you out? It shouldn't, you've probably seen more then enough of it."

I regret it once the words tumble beyond my lips. 

Because it brings up the memories of the fact Liam is a rogue. And indeed that he has killed people. He had even touched me while he still had blood on his hands from another man he had just murdered. 

The memory makes me cringe at the image that pops up into my head. With Liam and the blood that felt hot and sticky on my face. 

Surprisingly, though, Liam doesn't frown or wince. He simply sucks in a breath and mutters, "Harsh."

I shake my head and look up to meet his gaze, "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"It's okay," He says, cutting me off. "I've heard worse than that."

"That doesn't make me any less guilty," I reply, "You don't deserve that. You've done so many nice things for me."

"Just a few kind actions doesn't over shadow the rest of the bad stuff I've done," He shrugs casually. "Are you thirsty or hungry? I don't have much here. Only microwave soups and water."

"Yeah, but-"

This time, Liam's words don't cut me off, but his actions as he nosily starts rummaging through his small fridge.

I frown and stand up from the couch to see him squeezing his broad frame half way into the fridge. Normally, I would laugh at something like this, but I'm more set on the fact of why Liam so simply shrugged off the previous conversation. As if he's trying to avoid. And maybe he is.

He probably doesn't want to talk about his past. Or how I want to know so badly why he has killed people. And how he ended up in Portland.

I want answers that I probably don't deserve. But he wants answers too, doesn't he?

He appears again out of the fridge carrying a old-looking jar or pickles. Immediately when he uncaps, the whole area is filled with this stench that makes me sick. "Gross! How old is that?" I shriek.

Liam shrugs and sniffs it with a thoughtful expression. "I'm guessing about.. seven months old. Maybe this was in here before?"

"Didn't you ever clean the fridge out when you got here?"

"Not really," He retorts and places the cap back on the spoiled jar of pickles. He tosses into the trash. "I just started back up the generator and got the place working again."

"So you didn't clean out anything?" I make a face at him, "That's nasty."

"I swapped out the mattresses and the sheets," He objects, "But that's about it." He resorts to shuffling around the cabinet and pulls out a pack of dried noodles. "Looks like ramen noodles are on the menu tonight."

"I'm not hungry," I tell him. "But thanks."

"Suit yourself," He mutters and peels off the lid of the cup and fills it with water before popping it into the microwave and setting it for three minutes.

I take that chance to return back to the couch and flip around till I stumble across a movie that's good enough for me.

I curl up on the couch and clutch the blanket that Liam had tossed me earlier and drape it over me. Liam joins me a little while later with a steaming cup of soup.

He kicks his feat up on the coffee table and we fall back into silence. Well, it's mostly silently except for Liam's chewing and the soft whispers of the people in the movie.

After a few minutes, Liam nudges me and I turn to face him to find him handing me a fork. I stare at it for a few seconds before I sigh and take it. Obviously he's going to keep bugging me if I don't eat.

I scoot closer as much as I can without really leaning on him. Liam isn't pleased by this since he places the cup down and nestles me against him properly, then he picks it up again and holds it directly in front of both of us.

I scowl him but decide not to pester him about it.

Though he decides to pester me.

"Is it safe to ask about what happened with Anna?" He asks.

I don't freeze up, though. I simply shake my head. "It was nothing."

"It didn't seem like 'nothing,'" He says, "I caught some of what she said. It was harsh."

"You were ease dropping?"

"No," A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. "It's not ease dropping when you're practically screaming across the cafeteria for everyone to hear."

"I wasn't screaming," I mutter.

"Yeah, you kinda were."

"Aren't you supposed to be offering kind words about it instead of mocking me?"

"Maybe," He replies, "But I've learned that when I anger you, you give me answers much more easily."

I scuff, "You're unbelievable."

"And you're avoiding the conversation," He declares. "Was it that bad?"

I pinch my lips together and let a dreadful sigh leave my lips when I realize Liam isn't going to drop this. And I should probably just answers to get him off my case. "Of course it's bad when words like that come from your best friend."

"Haven't you guys fought before?"

"Not really," I frown, "The weird part is that the things she said.. she never brought it up before it any of our conversations or whatever."

"What'd she say?" He questions, his eyebrows furrowing.

I knit my fingers together and shrug, "Stuff about how she's heard some things about me and how I don't tell her anything."

"It's probably those girls she's been hanging around that's influenced her to think badly of you," He says, "What are her friends names, anyway? Bitch One and Bitch Two?"

 "Something like that." I laugh dryly, "Don't forget her boyfriend."

"Yeah, Clifford, right?"

"Cliff," I correct, "He's Adam's best friend, I guess. Though I don't really see them talk much."

"They probably don't even know each other's favorite color." Liam retorts with a snort, "Isn't he the next in line to be Adam's beta?"

I nod jerkily, "Yeah." And I'm next in-line to Adam's mate. 

"Have you talked to Adam?"

I let out a shaky breath and lie straight threw my teeth when I say, "No." I don't want to talk about Adam anymore. I don't want to talk about Anna either. I just want to forget about it all. Liam isn't going to allow this, clearly, since he presses on the subject.

"You're lying. I can tell." He says. "I won't get mad if you did. I just don't like the creep."

"At the moment, I don't either." I mutter and blurt out stupidly, "We use to be friends when we were younger."

"Yeah?" He raises a dark brow at me, "How did that happen?"

I shrug, "He was.. nice back then." I glance down at my knitted hands. "I don't know, but he made me smile and laugh. Especially when we had our water fights down by the lake."

He shuffles around a bit uncomfortably on the couch and finally places the cup that he had been holding in his hand down on the coffee table. He hesitantly asks, "Why'd you stop being friends?"

"My mom's death." I reply bluntly and focus my gaze on an invisible spot on the wall. 

Liam wraps an around my shoulder and sighs, resting his chin on my head. "So you stopped being friend's with him after she died?"

"No," I say, "He stopped being friends with me. Because of my dad." I don't know why I'm telling him this. Why I'm suddenly so insistent on telling someone my life story. But I clearly have a very bad case of word vomit because I continue on with my stupid rambling, "We fell to the bottom of the pack because my dad quit his guard duty. No one wants to be friends with you in the pack if you're not at the top of the food chain.

The whole 'We're-a-pack-and-we-stick-together' is bull. But I think you know that by know. I can see why people go rogue."

Liam sighs, "Being a rogue isn't all that great."

"Why not? You don't have to answer to any Alpha or anything." And you certainly don't have to forced to be with someone if you don't want to be. 

"Yeah, but it get's lonely not having a pack. My old one.. we were, close, I guess you could say."

I don't bother asking. Mainly because Liam won't answer. If he wants to tell me, he'll do it by himself. And it's made evident that he's not going to tell me anything since he remains silent. I'm the one who breaks by saying, "Your mom passed too, right?"

Liam grows tense for a minute before he relaxes and stiffly nods.

"Does it get any easier?" I ask timidly. "You know, to think about her without wanting to cry?"

"Not really," He replies, "It's been seven years since she passed. It still hurts."

"How'd it happen?" I whisper and angle my head to where I can look up at him. He doesn't meet my eyes, though. He stares straight ahead like I had done moments ago. 

"She was attacked."

I give him a grim smile. "Mine too."

Liam glances down at me when I say this. He offers me a look of sorrow. Something I have never liked people to do, but instead of angrily telling him to stop, I let my grim smile blossom into a sincere one, silently letting him know I'm okay and he doesn't need to be sorry he didn't cause.

And then we're back to what we were minutes ago. Silent and lost in thought. Or well, I think he is by the look on his face.

Before I can help myself, I reach up and smooth away the worry lines that crease between his brows. 

He does what he did earlier and angles his head down, leaning his forward against mine and letting his warm breath fan over my lips. I'm tempted to press my lips to his once again, but I restrain myself and watch as he lazily traces over my facial features with his other hand that isn't wrapped around me.

He traces around my eyes, then my nose, then my eyebrows, and then my lips, where his fingers linger. 

A smirk suddenly appears on his face. "Did I change your mind earlier?"

I can't help but shift uncomfortably and roll my eyes at him, "Shut up."

"What? It's about time we talked about the kiss."

"First you have to tell me something about your past. Something that plays a crucial part of your life."  I say and quickly add, "And I'll tell you one of mine."

"Okay, I'll tell you something of my past, if you'll answer one question that I have. You don't have to tell anything of your past. Just answer my question."

"Fine," I breathe, not knowing what I'm fully agreeing to. "But you first."

"Alright," He says. "What do you want to know, exactly?"

"About your family. Did you have any siblings?"

He nods, "Yeah. I had one. My younger sister, Flora. She was six."

"Did she look like you?" 

"Not really. She had my mom's blonde hair. But her eyes were green. We both got that from our dad. His name was Ben." He tells me, "We look exactly a like. Except he has darker brown hair and he's a little more tan then me. But I'm taller. Flora thought I was her jungle gym by the way she gripped onto my legs and climbed all over me."

I laugh, "She sounds adorable."

"She was," He smiles, "She would force me to take her to the library and everything. She liked daises. I know because she was always putting them in her hair. My mom and her were both very much alike." He's quiet for a minute or two before he says, "She died when I was twelve."

I pinch my lips together, unsure of what to say. Instead, I rest my hand on top of his and squeeze. 

"She was attacked too. I didn't get there on time."

I know Liam's feared he's said too much since his brows furrow and look crosses his face. One of regret. 

I resist the urge to bite my lip. "And your dad?"

"I don't know," He replies and he seems to shake himself out his trance since he turns to me with a grim smile. "But now it's my turn to ask you something."

I figure he deserves an answer, so I nod eagerly. "Shoot."

"I want to know about Adam. Why you were... with him... if you guys didn't talk. And I also want to know about your dad."

I stiffen and debate on not replying. Maybe even running off and making up some dumb excuse. But it's futile. Because I can't run away from this long awaited conversation anymore. Especially not if the supposed mating ceremony with Adam is only three weeks ago.

Liam is my only hope to get out of it. And clearly, after this kiss we've shared today, he isn't intent on keeping himself or me at a distance. We are bound to grow close together and to share secrets we would never tell anyone else. There's no longer any point of running from it.

So I speak. 

"I don't know who my father is anymore," I tell him honestly. "I haven't known who he was for a long time. We don't talk. And we don't see each other very often. He's out. With other women." I say, quite numbly. "He's not over her, though. My mom, I mean. He keeps a picture of her in his wallet and there is always one stuffed under his pillow.

I think he get's with these other women to maybe forget about her. I tried to forget. Just in a different way. By ignoring the fact she was gone and refusing to cry. I convinced myself I was over her for a long time."

"But you're not?" He utters softly.

I snort, "I wish. But you can't just get over someone who made that big of an impact on your life."

"And Adam?"

I let out a shaky sigh before I say, "It was.. staged." 

"What?"

"It was staged," I repeat. "The relationship. It wasn't real. We did it because.." I trail off. I press my lips together. Don't say it. Don't say it. This isn't being smart, Ronnie. You're going to get Liam hurt. 

My indifferent expression betrays me and soon enough, I am fighting back the tears of frustration. 

I don't want Liam hurt. I don't him to slip through my fingertips the way my mom did. I don't want to lose him. And I certainly will if I tell. 

I shake my head and glance to Liam who gives me a bewildered expression, "Ron?"

"I'm sorry," I blurt, "I can't.. I'm-I'm not ready to talk about it. Okay?"

Liam's face contorts into anger. For a minute, I think it's directed at me, but he quickly asks, "Did he do anything to you, Ron? Did he force you to do anything?"

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head more rapidly. "Just-"

"Did he touch you? Did he-"

My eyes fly open at the sudden slur of accusations about Adam, "No! Liam, you don't-"

"He touched you! He obviously did something if you're about to cry right now!" Liam jerks away from me and stands up, incredibly furious now. Probably at the thought of Adam touching me. The thought makes a disgusted shiver trace up my spine. "I'll kill him. I'll kill him for laying a hand on you, Ronnie."

"Do you hear yourself right now? You sound like a mad man!"

"He has no right to touch what's mine!" Liam snarls and goes to stalk past me, but I reach out and grip his powerful forearm. 

"Don't," I say, "Don't go and do something crazy. Don't!"

Liam turns back to me. He looks more intimidating than ever. His muscles are bunched and his eyes are hard, and crazy, too. "And why shouldn't I? He probably laid his filthy hands on you. I'll break his fucking arms. I'll laugh when I do it too as he screams for his daddy who won't be able to save him." He sneers and he walks off to the door, ready to slam it open and go hunt after Adam. But my words stop him. And probably leave him bewildered in more ways than one.

"Adam never did anything to touch me or harm me or whatever," I breathe shakily and raggedly. I swallow roughly before I say, "But Alpha Beckett did."

----------

BOOM!

That is all.

- CeCe.