ELLIE

        It had been a week since Lex died and today was the funeral. Blake had already told me that they were going to bury him next his mother because Lex had always loved their mother and she had always had a soft spot for him over the other two.

        Lex was the first born though, so I guess that didn't really surprise me. The first-born child always gets a little more love than the others and their parents are always that little bit more emotional when they finally reach the age where they want independence.

        I had tried to tell Blake that I didn't want to go, that it would be wrong of me to be there, but he told me that he needed me there and he needed my support. He told me that he wouldn't be able to do this without me, especially since Jayson is nowhere to be seen and Blake has been trying to manage the pack on his own for the last five days.

        "Are you ready?" Blake asked as he appeared behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and placing a kiss on the top of my head.

        "I think I should be asking you that question," I sighed. I took one last look at myself in the mirror as I pulled my black dress down, smoothing out the wrinkles which were obvious to the eye and I pushed a couple of pins into my hair to keep my fringe out of my face.

        "With you at my side I think I will be fine," he replied, taking hold of my hand and walking out of the house with me.

        When we walked out of the pack house, the important members were standing either side of the path, their heads bowed as a sign of respect to Blake. The only one who looked at him was Jackson and he muttered his condolences with a gentle hand on his shoulder.

        I knew he was disappointed that Jayson was here too but he would never mention that, at least not as we were waking to his brother's grave side so that he could say his final goodbye to his older brother.

        After a short walk we were at the spot where Lex's coffin had already been lowered into the ground. Blake had decided against the usual ceremony because it wasn't Lex's style, he would simply get to the point and that's what Blake had done.

        Of course, Jamie was there too and she wasn't too impressed when she saw that I was at Blake's side. I never meant for this happen, for Lex to die for me or for Jamie to hate me, I just lost my temper and that led to both of those things happening.

        "I can't believe you brought her with you," Jamie hissed under her breath as more people took their places around the grave, Jackson coming to stand the other side me and I felt him put his hand in my own, giving me a reassuring squeeze.

        "I wasn't going to come alone. I need El," Blake muttered back without even looking at his sister.

        "She's the reason he's in that wooden box. She's the reason we're about to cover Lex with dirt. She's the reason we will never be able to see him again," Jamie ranted like I wasn't even stood there.

        "I'm going to stand near the back with Jackson. You stay with your sister," I said to Blake, giving him a kiss on the cheek, only for him to grab my hand and pull me back towards him.

        "Ellie," he started and he looked at me with those eyes, those eyes which made me do anything he wanted me to do, but not today. Today was about him remembering his brother and if he was arguing with his sister, that was never going to happen.

        "I don't want to upset Jamie any further. I will be at the back and Jackson will be with me, you can mind link me if you need me," I reassured him and I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing Jackson's hand and pulling him through the crowd which had gathered.

        Lex had been popular with a lot of people in the pack and they were all here to say goodbye to him, which only made me feel a thousand times worse than I already did.

        As soon as we reached the back of the crowd, I found myself leaning on Jackson's chest as he casually threw his arm around my shoulder and I silently cried for the life which had been lost, for the family which I had broken.

        Blake was all Jamie had left now. I knew what that was like and how it felt. I understood that she was angry and her first, and only, reaction was to blame the only person she could for what had happened. She didn't want to blame Lex for doing it, so she blamed me for being the reason it happened.

        "Jamie really hates you, huh?" Jackson said quietly.

        "I am the reason her brother is dead. Guess she has every reason to hate me," I sighed.

        "You know, I overheard her and Blake arguing a couple of days ago. She wants him to leave you and stay in Moon Shadow while you go to Darkness," Jackson told me and I knew something like that was going to happen. I could invite her, but she was never going to go for that.

        But I couldn't live without Blake, the mate bond had become too strong for us to be apart from each other now, and Darkness couldn't survive without me as their Alpha. I didn't know what I was going to do when I got to Darkness, but I knew there were going to be some changes and that people weren't going to like them.

        "If I could go back and get shot with that bullet, then I would go back without so much as a second thought. Blake doesn't say it but I know he's struggling and I know that he blames for it, I just wish he would get angry at me or tell me he hates me. Anything," I pretty much whispered.

        I knew the service had started but I wasn't really listening to what was being said. I knew it was rude to talk during the ceremony but I hadn't seen Jackson since everything happened and Blake had been busy spending time with Jamie to prepare the funeral while I had been packing up Blake's life into boxes.

        I hadn't been able to speak to anyone about how I was feeling or what I was thinking. It was mad of me to want Blake to shout at me and tell me he hated me, but then at least I would know what he's really feeling rather than having him shut off the mate link so that I couldn't feel anything.

        "You know, while you and Blake were speaking with Link, I had an interesting conversation with Lex as we waited for the three of you to finish," Jackson said.

        "I already know he hates me and Link because we're rogues. I still don't really understand why he threw himself in front of me like that. Well, I know he did it for Blake, but that's about it," I replied as I used the sleeve of my jacket to wipe the tears away from my eyes.

        "During this conversation Lex asked me about you. He wanted to know everything I knew about you and so I told him, I told him everything from how you became rogue to the sarcasm you gave to Jayson when you met him to how I was the first person you trusted to how you threatened Angelica after she told you she was going to kill myself and Blake," Jackson paused and I looked up to see that he was looking down at me.

        It wasn't in a romantic way like Blake does but it was like there was an underlying sadness in his eyes which he didn't want me to see so he attempted to hide it with his smile instead.

        "He was impressed but, more than that, he was happy. He was happy that Blake had someone like you who could put him back together again. He was happy that he had someone who, despite not trusting him straightaway, was still willing to protect his baby brother. He was happy that you never tried to be someone you weren't and he was especially happy that you didn't fall for his charm like so many of the female population have done," Jackson continued and I let out a quiet chuckle as I remembered meeting Lex for the first time.

        Him walking into the cell like he owned the place and trying his luck with me. His face when I told him that I was Blake's mate and the way I left him speechless. Even his movements as he told me what would happen if I didn't release my Alpha.

        He was cocky, arrogant and egotistical but he was Lex Jackson. He was Blake's older brother. He was the one who made me laugh, he was the one who clearly loved his brother, he was the one who gave his life so that Blake wouldn't have to deal with a life without me.

        "He said that, in the short amount of time he had known you, he knew he would love you like you were his own sister before too long. He said it was impossible not to love you and that he would do anything to keep you safe, which is what he did, which is why he wouldn't want you to feel like you do," Jackson finished speaking, his arm still thrown around my shoulder as I moved mine so they were wrapped around his torso.

        "I'm going to miss you Jackson," I muttered.

        "No need to miss him for too long. He's coming with us," I turned to see Blake standing there. I could tell that he had been crying but I didn't say anything which I knew he was grateful for.

        "You're coming with us?" I asked in shock, ignoring the people who were continuing to tell Blake how sorry they were for his loss.

        "I was never going to stay here. Jayson has gone awhol, my family won't shut up about me finding my mate, Blake is like my brother and best friend all rolled into one and, well, you're just Ellie. My life wouldn't be the same if you weren't around," he grinned and I couldn't help but smile as I threw my arms around his neck excitedly and embraced him in a hug, hearing both Jackson and Blake chuckle was a welcome sound.

        "Said she would be happy with that, didn't I?" Blake laughed and that was the sound I loved. It was always going to be better than trying to guess what he was feeling or seeing the scowl on his face as he tried to get on with his life.

        "I love it when you laugh," I said as I detached myself from Jackson and wrapped my arms around Blake's waist instead, pulling him close to me as I put my head on his chest, listening to the gentle sound of his heartbeat.

        "Do you remember when you were fifteen, I was twenty and Lex was twenty-four, we played that game of hide-and-seek because were so bored. Only it ended up with his hiding from Jayson for skipping our duties," Blake laughed again and I smiled at the story.

        "He banned Lex from the pack house after that and made sure we both had two guards at all times so we didn't do anything other than what we were supposed to be doing," Jackson chuckled.

        "Shame that wasn't enough. We still managed to slip the guards and disappeared to the forest, Jayson would be pissed each time it happened and he would always shout at Lex-"

        "-Who would simply laugh in his face and tell us that he would see us the following day," Jackson finished the sentence for Blake and they were both in fits of laughter by the end of it.

        I just smiled at the story. Even from a young age it seemed that Lex was a bad influence but he was fun and he would do anything to spend time with both Blake and Jackson. If you hated him, that was enough to make you like him.

        "We need to talk," I looked over Blake's shoulder to see Jamie standing behind him. Her red hair was in a tight bun and her black dress came to her knees, covering everything so the only thing you could actually see was her leg from the knee down.

        "I will see you back at the house. I still have some packing to do," Jackson smiled and then walked off, leaving me with Blake and Jamie.

        It seemed that everyone else had disappeared a while ago and they were probably at the pack house now, enjoying the buffet which had been spread out of everyone to enjoy at the end of the service; there were even some pictures of Lex throughout his life around the place.

        "I understand that Blake isn't willing to let you go and that he is going to be going to Darkness with you, but you need to understand that he's my brother and the only family I have left now. You took Lex and now you're taking Blake from me too," Jamie spoke and I was shocked by what she had to say, I knew Jackson had told me she was saying this, but hearing it was different to be told that she had said it.

        "Jamie," Blake tried talking to her as he put his hand on her shoulder, but she simply pulled away and looked at him with tears in her eyes.

        "I don't think I will be able to forgive you for Lex. But I don't want to lose the only family I have left, that's not fair for you to take both my brothers from me," Jamie replied.

        "I understand, Jamie, and I know how you feel," I sighed.

        "How can you possibly understand what this feels like?" she snapped, her eyes glossing over with tears as she did her best to hold them back.

        "Because Link is the only family I have left. My parents were murdered and Link is all I have left now, so I don't want to take Blake away from you, I never have done and I never wanted to take Lex from you either," I told her. I could feel Blake's hand on my back as he lazily drew patterns over the back of my dress.

        "Our mother was murdered by rogues and our father was a psychopath. Blake and Lex were the ones who raised me, they were there for me and they are the reason I am here now. Please don't make him leave Moon Shadow," I could hear the pain and sadness in her voice. I wanted to hug her and tell her that things would get less painful over time, but I didn't move and I just stayed in Blake's embrace.

        "And our father is the reason El doesn't have a family. Jamie, please understand I'm not doing this to hurt you and I am certainly not doing it because Ellie has told me to do it, I am doing it because it what I have to do. I need to be with El," Blake sighed.

        "But why? I'm your sister, the only family you have left, and you're leaving me like I mean nothing to you," Jamie snapped at Blake.

        "Ellie is an Alpha and, because she killed the Alpha of Darkness, she is now their leader which means she has to go there tomorrow before the packs falls into disarray. I am her mate and our bond is too strong for me to simply stay here and her to go there, I need to go with her and I need to be by her side," Blake tried explained but, until she found her mate, she wasn't going to understand what it meant.

        She wasn't going to understand that, without Blake I would grow vulnerable and that would leave me open to attacks from other packs. If Blake was to stay here and I was to go to Darkness on my own, we would feel the effects of it within a day.

        We would both fall sick, be unwilling to do anything of our routines, we would refuse to eat and we would basically be useless as werewolves. The mate bond was for life and, when it was as strong as ours is, it was dangerous for us to be apart.

        "I don't expect you to forgive me Jamie but you just need to know that I truly am sorry. I never wanted any of what has happened but I would like it if you would consider joining us in Darkness," I smiled weakly at her.

        "If you don't do it for Ellie, then do it for me. I don't want to leave you behind Jamie, you're my little sister and it's my job to look after you. I can't very well do that if you're forty minutes away by car," Blake joked.

        "I will think about it," Jamie muttered.

        "If you ever want to talk, or just kick the crap out of me, you can come and find me. Even if you hate me, I am here if you were want me," I sighed. If she hated me for the rest of her life then I wouldn't care, I would understand, but I still wanted her to know that I was there for her.

        I didn't want for anything else to be said, I just made my way back to the pack house, heading straight for Blake's room when I got there. I didn't bother undressing as I threw myself onto the bed and closed my eyes.

        Today had been an emotional one but I knew tomorrow was going to be an interesting one.