Nostalgia is a weird thing, you know? The things we miss, we never imagine missing.

Because sure you can miss someone, and want them back, more than anything but that's not nostalgia.

No, nostalgia is craving what you never even knew was there.

I'm nostalgic for bus stops on winter mornings. I'm nostalgic for the first time I heard a song. Nostalgic of when my best friends were strangers who's secrets I'd yet to uncover. Nostalgic of the times before I knew everything, nostalgic of my idiocy and ignorance.

I'm nostalgic for mediocrity in my career. Before people started to know me. I'm nostalgic for 5am drives to work a job I hated.

Nostalgic for the crushes that made me wanna be invisible. Nostalgic for the awkwardness and butterflies in my stomach. Nostalgic for the anxiety of the first conversation. Nostalgic for the times before they went back to being strangers.

I'm nostalgic for the up all nights, sleep all days.

I'm nostalgic for the way soup heals a cold.

I'm nostalgic for the way chlorine pools smell.

The way scholastic book fairs feel.

The rush of back to school shopping.

Of being a fan instead of a performer.

I'm nostalgic of the times I felt happy when something went my way and sad when it didn't.

I'm nostalgic of writing shitty fanfics as opposed to meloncoly poetry that's too damn sad and unrelatable for anyone to give a fuck about.

I'm nostalgic for a time when I thought friends forever meant something.

Nostalgic for winds of Chicago, the heat of Atlanta, the floods of Iowa, the familiarity of Cape Girardeau.

I'm nostalgic for a time when I could feel more for something than nostalgia.