MY PATIENCE was running thin.

Kanina pa ako hindi tinitignan ni Monty kahit alam ko namang napapansin niya na hinuhuli ko mata niya. He kept on denying me a look as if I wasn't in the room.

"Apple?" Valentin waved a hand in front of me.

"What?" I turned to my team who were seated in a circular form around me.

Yca gave me a teasing look. "Kanina ka pa nakatingin kay Monty. Hindi ko alam kung galit ka ba o gusto mo siyang hubaran."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "Galit ako. Hindi ako kinakausap simula kanina. Siya na nga may atraso, ako pa ini-ignore."

Despite my anger, I rubbed my palms on my jeans, remembering his text message. It wasn't anything new or endearing. In fact, ang corny nga. Pero parang bigla akong kinabahan.

Was it because of the implication of it or because it was Monty we're talking about?

What did it mean? I won't know until he talks to me and tells me what the hell that was.

"A, hayaan mo na muna kung anong galit mo sa kanya. We have to prep for the club day. No choice tayo." Eula gave me the paper that contained our initial plans for the promotion of the team and the steps in recruiting potential members.

I sighed and let the matter go to focus on the task at hand. Aside from this fiasco with Monty, I still had to deal with Sean's constant text messages and whenever he'd approach me around the campus to try and talk to me.

Do I really need to talk to him? What more will I say? What more can he say to change my mind?

"Actually, first time ko makita up close si Monty. I mean, nakikita ko siya campus, pero hindi ko pa nakausap." Yca mutters. "And he's kinda cute."

I slowly turned to her and let her see my horror in my face.

"What? Aminin mo naman na cute siya 'di ba? Kahit hindi mo siya bet as a person."

I couldn't bring myself to say no because Yca was right. Hindi ko naman maitatanggi na gwapo siya. His round eyes that were sometimes framed with his black specs felt intimidating and strong when he looks at you. And his upturned smile that he rarely gives anyone would be enough to attract people.

Not me, though. 

I zoned out my team and gave Monty another glance. He was busy leaning over one of the laboratory tables, one hand resting on the surface, while the other was busy typing on his laptop.

As if he sensed me looking—no, glaring at him—he turned his gaze towards me and away from the screen. And for the first time today, those intense eyes behind his specs were directed to me.

I raised my eyebrow in question. Akala mo ha? Ikaw lang ba pwedeng um-attitude?

He tore his eyes away from me when a member of his club approached him, and I went back to work with my team. No point in bugging him kung ayaw niya ako kausapin.

After our individual meeting, Monty and I led the discussion on how our schedule would be since we would also need to share the booth provided for us. Hassle talaga.

"Let's meet next Thursday for the final details. Thank you for attending." Monty addressed everyone in the room.

I was biting my fingernails while looking at the paper and checking if everything on it was written and organized when Valentin, Eula and Yca bid their goodbye to me.

Valentin had somewhere to be with his family, Eula still had a date with her high school friends, while Yca was going to study. 

Before leaving, Yca pointed at Monty whose bulk was turned back at us. He was pinning something on the corkboard as part of the announcement.

"Kausapin mo na." 

Ngumiti ako nang pilit. "Oo na. Sige na, umuwi na kayo, madilim na."

Valentin gave me a salute before pulling Yca and joining Eula who was already out the hallway. Minsan iniisip ko kung bakit kami nandito at magkakasama. We don't look like the part most of the time. But I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Most of Monty's club members already left, and I waited for all of them to go before quietly approaching Monty. What if takutin ko 'to? That'd be gold, provided that he reacts, though.

"I'm sorry." Monty said before he turned to me, his eyes scanning my face. 

I pretended that I didn't hear him so he'd repeat what he said. Is it bad that I want to hear it again? Yes, probably. Especially when my heart skipped at the sound of his voice directed at me. It was different from when he was talking in front of everyone earlier—softer, and had something I couldn't pinpoint.

Monty sighed and threw the notebook he was holding. It made a loud noise on the metal lab table, suprising me a bit. "Apple, talk to me. . . please."

Aba, ako pa ang parang hindi kumausap sa kanya? I ignored him again and started to pick up my stuff and shoving it inside my bag.

Just when I thought that he'd give up and leave like he did when he stopped talking to me before, he approached me and stood close enough that his breath tickled my hairline.

I looked up a little from where I stood and caught him already staring at me. And his eyes were pleading, like it was painful that I wasn't talking to him.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you. . . I'm just embarrassed and conflicted."

"You should be. Ano ba kasing trip mo? Lasing ka lang gano'n na pinagsasabi mo. Masama ka malasing, alam mo 'yon?"

He nodded. "I admit. That's why I rarely drink."

"Bakit mo nga sinabi 'yon?" I asked directly. I didn't want to waste my time thinking about it kung wala lang naman 'yon.

If it didn't matter to him, why should it matter to me?

Except that it did. A lot.

I closed my eyes and sighed when I heard nothing from him. "Monty, aalis na ako kung wala ka namang sasabihin."

He was about to say something when we were interrupted by the loud sound from the door closing and the chair being pushed.

Then, I remember.

"Hoy, 'yong pinto!" I ran towards the door and tried to unlock it but it was already sealed shut.

Monty also pulled it with a lot more force, but to no avail. "Shit, we can't be stuck here."

Hindi na nga pala naisasara 'yong pinto kasi sira na and it was heavy, so we were advised not to close it otherwise it will lock anyone inside. The key to it was with the janitor and before they could roam here, it would take time. Hours, for God's sake.

I pulled my phone from the back pocket of my jeans and sent a text to our group chat. Baka hindi pa nakakaalis sina Eula sa campus. Luckily, I still had battery life while I'm pretty sure Monty doesn't because he kept on clicking the power button of his phone. 

The hallway towards this room is usually quiet and not a lot of people come here so the chances of us being stuck for a few minutes or even an hour is high.

"We should've gone home with them earlier." Monty muttered and sighed.

I slid behind the door to sit on the floor and placed a hand on my neck. I was tired and my body was already aching to sleep, and on top of that, I was still troubled with what Monty said.

Kung bakit ako ganito ka-bothered, hindi ko alam.

Monty followed me and sat beside me, our backs flat on the door. He was close enough that our shoulders touched when he moved, and even though it was our first time to be this close, I felt comfortable enough. 

The automatic urge to rest my head on his shoulder to seek comfort caught me by surprise. Umayos ako nang upo at lumayo sa kanya.

"So bakit mo nga sinabi?" I started. "I guess, this is the universe telling us we should talk."

From the peripheral view, I saw him nodding at that. Maybe this is what was wrong with Sean and I's relationship. We didn't communicate as much and now that I think about it, we were rarely honest to each other, about our feelings, our fears and doubts, our worries.

Kaya ba inayawan niya ako? Siguro. Kaya parang nagkulang ako? Siguro.

"It's true, what I said, Apple. Believe it or not, my eyes automatically look for you whenever you're near me. I always want to be around you."

I glanced at him and he was just staring in front, his face never betraying him of any emotion this time.

When he turned to me, his gaze dropped to my chin first, before coming back up. "I like you, Apple. More than you know."

My heart stuttered at that, entirely anticipating and fearing a different, but also the same answer. I don't know whether I'm glad or not.

Glad because that was his answer, and not because that was his answer.

Had he said to forget it, would I be able to?

He must've seen the expression on my face because he smiled at me, the side of his lips tilting, a rare response. "But don't be burdened by what I said. It's not a question and I'm not expecting an answer."

"I know you just got out of a relationship where you got hurt. I understand. But I've been wanting to tell you that. . . since you started messaging me again. Remember the party?" he continued.

I nodded, not trusting myself to answer him verbally.

"I've liked you since then. Ever since you spent the whole night talking to me on that balcony instead of partying like a normal person would."

"Why?" The question came out of my mouth before I could stop it.

He turned to me again and said, "Because you made sense of things. Nung sinabi ko sa 'yo na gusto kong mag-shift, you told me the pros and cons and left me to decide. When I asked you why you were talking to me instead of other people, you made it seem like I'm the most interesting person to talk to." 

My heart was pounding loudly on my chest, threatening to burst from. . . I don't know.

When I didn't react, Monty took that as his cue to continue. "You surprised me with your honesty. I remember, pinatigil kita uminom because I wasn't drinking at that time and I feared you've reached your limit. But you said that I should let you because you wanted to relax from the stressful demands of your course and because you felt lonely. Nagalit ka rin sa akin." 

I chuckled. That sounds like me, alright.

"And you looked at me like I mattered. Like someone really sees me. I'm a quiet person so I tend to keep things to myself, even from my friends. I'm not as open and expressive of how I feel, and most of the time, I get shoved out of the way for that. But you. . . you made sure that I was just as important as anyone in the room."

It didn't occur to me that that was what he felt that night, and hearing it now made me want to cry and hide inside his arms.

"Then why did you stop talking to me?" I asked with a slight rasp in my voice from swallowing the emotions that rose from my chest.

Monty shook his head like he didn't want to relive it. "Because I was a coward. I found out about you and Sean. And I didn't want to interfere between the two of you. I knew then, that I didn't just want to be your friend, and if I pursued you. . . you would've hated me, Apple. And I would've hated myself."

"But I wanted you to be my friend." I said in a voice so meek I didn't recognize it.

"I know. That's why I regret it. If I could turn back time, I would've been okay with whatever you could give me." 

Heavy silence engulfed us after what he said, but I tried not to let it bother me.

I was confused by what Monty said and my feelings because I knew I was still reeling from the pain of my break up, but I wouldn't deny that his confession was a sigh of relief.

He must've sensed my internal struggle so he slowly grabbed my hand to hold it and pressed it on my jeans. "I don't want you to feel pressured to answer. You could give me an answer. . . or you could give me nothing at all and I'll be fine with it."

Before I could nod, a loud knock from the other side of the door interrupted us. I could hear Eula and Yca's voice outside.

"Apple, nandyan ka pa ba? God, what if nakidnap siya?" The panic in Eula's voice was evident.

Yca knocked again. "Apple, puntahan namin si Manong Guard para buksan."

My attention was grabbed from their voices when Monty turned to grab his backpack that was on his side and pulled out a fluffy plush.

"Before I forget. Here. It's a peace offering."

He handed me another plushie of one of the Sanrio characters, and I almost cried on the spot.

Then, as if that was not enough, he held my hand a little tighter before he lifted it to press a kiss on the back of my hand.

"Let's go?" he asked.

I nodded despite myself, and let him pull me up from the ground to greet my friends who were probably worried.

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