Snowbreeze and I rush to the leader's den where Tempestclaw hopefully lay. Right as the den gets in view, Tempestclaw turns his head. He was standing in front of the den, apparently waiting for me. I rush up to him.

"Are you ok?! Do you need me to get Goldenleaf or Sparrowpaw?" I say.

He shakes his head. "I'm fine. In fact, I feel better than I have for a while."

"Ok, just let me or any of the medicine cats know if you need help."

Just as Tempestclaw walks away, I realize how stressful my life had been. Just when I thought my life was going good, the world showered down trials after trials, as if trying to prove I could never be at perfect peace. I also realized how much I cared for my clan. Everyone always just assumes leaders care for their clan, just not to a really far extent, but it truly hurt when someone died or got sick. I would die for my clan, and I hope every cat in my clan would too.

I was staring off into the distance thinking many thoughts when I realized I needed to try to be at peace. I never tried to because my life had always been hard in some way or another and I never thought about being happy. My life had always been about the welfare of others it seemed. One of the only actions that had been for myself was when I chose to leave my sister and travel, but then again, was that really for me? That simple action had led me here, to where I was today. It was funny how a simple action could have such a big domino effect on not only your life, but others' lives. My words, my actions. They had all been in some way meant for someone else. I just needed to do something for myself. I felt myself growing harsher in my words when I had a normal conversation with my clanmates. When I talk to someone when something had happened, I spoke slightly softer, but I really did need to change. I just need some time alone.

I climb to the highest point of the mountain that isn't covered by trees, and just simply stare out into the vast world below. This is my world. This was where all those decisions put me. Sometimes, I wondered if it had been all a mistake. Had StarClan found the wrong one? How could I be the best leader if I couldn't even finish a little problem with my sister? Tears start rolling down my face, and get blown away by the fresh winter wind. Where had all those days gone when I lived a carefree life with my sister? I remember each memory like it was yesterday. My sister and I racing each other down the small, rolling hills. Both of us laying in the sunlight together. Nightshade-no, Smokey and I catching our meals in the long, tall grass, chasing away the adversaries, and then collapsing on the soft grass, exhausted. This Nightshade had taken my sister away from me. Smokey had been the best companion anyone could have. I just wish that my parents could've been there to witness our joys. Me, Silverwillow, the leader, the one to watch over my sister. My sister, Smokey, the carefree, happy one, the one who could crack a joke in the hardest of times. Now this reflection of my sister had become my, and my sister's polar opposite. How in the world had that happened? How could a sweet little she-cat like Smokey have become a monster like Nightshade? How? How could it have happened?

A soft wind blows across my face and Firestar appears. He greets me by smiling and calling me by name. I rush up to him, and touch muzzles with him.

"Firestar! It's great to see you! How's ThunderClan doing?"

"Great actually. Leafpool, my beautiful daughter, has regained her medicine cat role. She and Jayfeather work together now," Firestar says smiling.

I wipe my tears away with my paw. "That's great. It was sad when she had to step down from her position. I know I wasn't there, but she always deserved to be medicine cat even though she broke the medicine cat code. You probably know how well WingClan is doing. Just 'lovely' if you couldn't tell."

Firestar puts his tail on my back. "Yes I know times are rough, but they will get better. It always does somehow. Life may be chaotic, but there is always times of peace."

The wind blowing my fur, I inquire, "So, you must have come for a reason. Please tell me that what you just said is true for right now. Please let my life receive peace. I can't bear this anymore. Why is my life like this now?"

"It's ok. I bear good news. But you must listen carefully, and interpret the message in the right way."

I interrupt what Firestar is saying. "Yes, I will listen, but why do you keep coming to me? It's great and all, but aren't StarClan members supposed to go to medicine cats, and how are you reaching me when I'm awake? I'm awake aren't I?"

"Yes, you are awake, I have my ways that allow me to basically kind of put you in a trance so it's like you are asleep so we are in fact speaking privately. I keep coming to you because these messages that I have are specifically for you. Now please listen. In the shade there will be enough light to find the smoke that lies within."

"Shade...smoke...light...within....Does this mean I will be able to get Nightshade to be my faithful sister again?!"

Firestar starts to fade. "You must interpret the message in the way that your mind can interpret it. Consult your medicine cats. I can't tell you more. Goodbye Silverstar...."

I plead. "Wait! You were barely here. Don't leave yet! I can't figure this out on my own!"

I hear one last phrase before he fades completely. "Medicine cats."

His words seem to mean that I could get my Smokey back. Somewhere deep in Nightshade, a sliver could still be Smokey. I have to figure out exactly if that's what Firestar means because what if I am wrong? Those false hopes might bring me down further when they don't come true.