Entry for Day 25 (Day 21 Prompt) of Marvel Whump Madness, hosted by Trekkiehood

This was one of Steve's least favorite parts of the job.

It wasn't often they had to do it, but every once in a while, Pepper would insist, say they had to, to keep up "public image", and there was no saying no to Pepper.

He knew he was Captain America and should get over it, but he still felt like the awkward little kid he'd grown up as. He'd never liked social settings like these dinner parties, and now, no matter how many feet he'd added to his stature, that hadn't changed.

It seemed effortless for the others. They mingled, chatted with the fancies Pepper had invited this time, told stories and made jokes like they were born with the ability. They fit in perfectly. But Steve? He felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb, unsure of how to act or what to say. And he didn't have their advantage of taking the edge off his nerves, relaxing himself, with alcohol like they all did.

He preferred to linger had the edges of the room, observe the others and wish he had their poise, and blend into the scenery. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't someone who blended into the scenery very well, and there were always plenty of ladies present who kept their eyes peeled for him and jumped on every chance at conversation they had.

After his first three conversations, he'd managed to find himself a little corner to hide in and been left in relative peace for over half an hour. However, as a woman currently laughing at one of Thor's stories looked up now, casually glancing in his direction without any real motivation to the look, he could feel her eyes lock onto him. He kept his own on the ground, because he knew looking at others made them more likely to look at you, but in his heart, in the weight behind her stare, he knew it was no use. So, he took a deep breath and attempted to gear himself up for the conversation he knew was coming.

Sure enough, as Thor's story finished, he heard her flirtatiously bidding him goodbye, leaving him to the small crowd he always entertained on nights like this. As a prince, he was more than used to fancy social gatherings, and never batted an eye at attending one.

She was making her way over to him.

Clinging to hope, he kept his eyes on the ground until he knew it was no use, and finally forced them up to meet hers. When they did, the same smile she'd offered Thor found its way straight back to her lips.

He did his best to return it, but he could feel the tightness in his own expression.

"Captain Rogers," she greeted him in a smooth voice. "I was beginning to think you weren't here."

"Oh, no," he replied, forcing a laugh. "Not an option. Strict orders to be here and look acceptable."

"Well, that last part certainly couldn't be an issue for you," she half-sighed, then held out her hand. "I'm Maggie, by the way. Short for Margaret, but no handsome man ever called me that and let's not start tonight."

Margaret. Out of all the names on earth, why did hers have to Margaret?

He gifted her with a stiff smile and shook the offered hand. "Nice to meet you."

She took a sip of the wine she was holding, raising an eyebrow at his empty hands. "What? The Star-Spangled Man with a Plan isn't allowed to drink?"

He repeated that forced laugh. "No, no... I've already had some tonight."

"Oh, so he's just not allowed to get tipsy?" she giggled, a musical sound that she was obviously proud of.

"Ah... couldn't if I tried. One of the side-effects."

The interest displayed on her face made it seem like he'd just told her the most fascinating fact on earth.

"No lie! Wow. Blessing and a curse, I guess."

"Yeah, I... I don't mind."

Except when his best friend died before his eyes. Except when he woke up in a world he barely recognized and was expected to be its hero. Except when everything was so much to deal with, and he would give so much just to be able to escape it all. He minded, but not for the reasons she was thinking... for reasons he wasn't planning on sharing with anyone anytime soon.

"Mr. Virtuous," she sighed, shaking her head. "Of course, you don't."

He didn't answer with anything but that stiff smile yet again, so she went on after a moment, gesturing to the scene around them.

"You're missing the party over here, you know."

"Yeah... parties, they're not really my thing."

"I find that hard to believe." She took another sip of wine, shooting his an even more flirtatious smile. "A gentleman like yourself."

He just shrugged and shook his head, unsure of what to say.

She glanced over to where several couples, including Tony and Pepper, were slow-dancing on one side of the room. He helplessly followed her gaze, and as they watched, the song ended, changing to something more upbeat. Unwilling to stop, the pairs adjusted their dancing accordingly.

"Look at that. Someone like you must be a fine dancer."

"I... I... I don't..."

Not dancing. Not that look. That same look that almost made him lose everything with Peggy... that look that ended up stealing his first kiss that he never wanted to give but was too surprised and confused to refuse. And dancing... he couldn't think about dancing. The word was almost as much a trigger as the sudden noises that made him return to war when he wasn't in battle, as the sound of trains that sometimes took his straight back to watching his best friend fall to his death, helpless to do anything but cry.

Her face turned to Peggy's before his eyes, looking him in the eye as she blew off Bucky's invitation.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

"The right partner."

He could hear her voice in his head, feel the comfort and courage that it had given him as he'd pointed the plane toward the water.

"Peggy, I'm gonna need a raincheck on that dance."

"Alright. A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club."

"You got it."

"Eight o'clock on the dot, don't you dare be late. Understood?"

"You know, I still don't know how to dance."

"I'll show you how. Just be there."

"We'll have the band play something slow. I'd hate to step on your..."

"Captain, are you still with me?"

He started back into reality, his vision focusing back onto the woman who was actually in front of him... the woman who wasn't Peggy.

"I..." He shook his head, desperately trying to get the images out of his head. "Yes. Yes, I'm sorry."

She smiled a little softer, clearly of the opinion it made her look absolutely stunning.

"Well, the memory in your eyes confirms it. Guess you were dancing way back in the forties, huh?"

"I... no." He finally managed to get the word out. "I don't... I never learned how to dance."

Her mouth came open in a practiced look of surprise. "You? Never learned how to dance? I'm not sure if I can believe that."

He shrugged, still struggling with his own mind, desperately fighting to stay where he was, stop reliving all of his most painful memories.

"It's true, Ma'am."

"Maggie," she reiterated. "though I like the way you say that." She set her drink aside and held out her hand to him. "And we can't have Captain America not know how to dance. Come on, I'll teach you."

The images hit him one after another, over and over again, getting inside his head and making it so he couldn't think about anything else, couldn't see or hear or feel anything but her face, her voice, and the pain of losing her.

"I..."

"That's an order, Captain," she giggled.

"I..."

She gave up waiting for him and grabbed his hand herself. "Come on, don't be shy." Dragging him in the direction of the dancing couples, "and you still need to tell me to drop the formality and call you Steve."

"I... of course," he stammered. "Whatever you want, Ma'am."

"I don't want to have to tell you Maggie again," she moaned, the flirt in her voice only increasing.

"I... sorry..." Steve couldn't think clearly enough to decide what he wanted to say, much less get a solid sentence out of his mouth.

They reached the general area of the dancing, and she came to a halt. The song changed again, and she smiled.

"Oh, here's an easy one to learn to. Alright, hands here, like this."

It was all he could do to keep himself from shaking, and he had no strength to resist her as she set his hands in place.

"Now the feet are easy. Just watch mine."

It was like there were a hundred demons in his head, screaming for his attention, shooting darts into all of the right memories and making them ache like they'd happened yesterday. Like he was the walking dead, he continued to obey her orders, somehow managing to mirror her movement in one way or another.

"That's it!" Her voice sounded far off. "You're a born natural. Just lean in... of course you won't. I guess I'll just have to."

Her head was nearly resting against his chest.

He wondered if she could hear it pounding like he could, up in his head. The more he struggled to keep his breathing steady, the more he felt like he was going to suffocate. Black spots were invading his vision, and the world was beginning to spin around him.

Maggie's voice, level and attractive as she was trying to keep it, faded from his recognition all together, and he could feel himself slipping ever closer to a place where he wasn't going to be able to maintain his outward composure.

It was just too much... so many reminders of Peggy, and every reminder of Peggy reminded him of his life before he went under. And that took him back to the war, and most of all, Bucky. His death, over and over again. Peggy's voice, her face, torturing him where they used to be the sweetest things in his world.

He took a deep, shaky breath.

He had to keep it hidden. He had to stay strong. He was Captain America. He was Captain America.

A tap of his shoulder pulled him from the depths of his own consciousness. He looked over sharply, and his eyes met Natasha's.

She glanced at his partner, offering one of her soft smiles and keeping her voice low. "Can I cut in?"

The woman offered her a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Of course. I believe I can hear my wine glass calling to me anyway." She shot Steve a different smile, the flirt in it sparkling in her eyes this time. "I'll see you soon, Captain."

As she walked away, Nat quickly slid into her place, swaying with Steve just as she had done. With her hand that held his, she slipped a finger to the pulse on his wrist.

"Not looking so good there, soldier," she murmured, continuing to dance with him.

Seamlessly, she reached up, brushing a bead of sweat off of his forehead.

"You okay?"

He wanted to say yes, wanted to promise he was fine, but he couldn't. He knew she wouldn't believe him, and he'd come to be terrified of the look in people's eyes when he lied to them like that... especially tonight, because Bucky... Bucky had always...

And tonight, he was even more terrified that she would believe him, leave him to the woman she'd just saved him from.

"Nat," he choked out finally, all he could manage as his desperate cry for help. "Nat, I..." But he couldn't go on.

"Steve, it's okay," she replied softly. "You can tell me in a minute. Let's get you out of here first, yeah?"

"Please," he whispered helplessly.

She reached up, squeezing his arm gently. "Wait here. Just breathe. Focus on that."

Then, she turned away, walking over to Thor, whose crowd Maggie had reentered for the time being, her wine glass retrieved and in hand.

"Hey, Point Break," she said so everyone close could hear, staying casual with Tony's obnoxious nickname. "Something popped on our radar. Steve and I are gonna go take a look, so keep the party going, would you?"

He nodded, smiling at her. "I think that's an assignment I can handle."

Natasha turned away, walking over to where Tony was still swaying with Pepper. She leaned up to his ear, quickly murmuring the real story in his ear.

"Something's up with Steve. It's bad, he can barely breathe right now," she whispered. "I'm gonna get him out of here, but if that lady tries to follow us, make sure she doesn't get far, yeah?"

Tony nodded, showing so outward sign that the message was any different than what she'd just told Thor, other than in a quick, concerned glance in the super soldier's direction.

"You got it. Grab me if you need backup."

She responded with a tight smile and her own nod, then returned to Steve's side. She wrapped her arm around his so he could feel her supporting him, feel her own steady breathing to help his match.

"Alright, soldier," she said softly. "Let's get you out of here."

There will be a second part.