Chapter 20 No safe place

I could feel Jake's Raver trembling as it sniffed and licked the spot where he scarred my neck. I worked my hands in his fur on the back of his head and neck, his giant arms encircled me. His bones began to shift but he didn't let go. Fur was replaced with skin and hair as his stature shrank to human-size. He was still a giant, six and a half feet tall compared to my 5′7". Wolf whimpering became soft sobbing, his legs folded pulling us both into a kneeling position on the grass. My hands continued to run through his hair as he held me, his tears wetting my shoulder while he cried. I could feel him breaking inside. He was so afraid of what he was now because he almost hurt me, but he didn't want to let go. Internally cursing himself for his Rage and overreaction as he wheezed out his apology over and over.

I didn't know how long we stayed like that but finally Jake calmed, he didn't lift his head, but he murmured into the crook of my neck. "That was a stupid thing to do, Shalom. I could have killed you."

"But you didn't. You stopped. You stopped your Rage." The musky, woodsy scent of him caused me to feel so calm despite the turmoil I felt in him and in myself. "You did it. You..."

"No, you did it. You saved me. I was ready to kill Richard, you stopped me. Then I saw Saul... And you..."

He lifted his head to look into my eyes. He wanted to kiss me, I could feel it, but I was not ready and much to my wolf's disappointment, I asked instead, "What happened? Why did you attack Richard? He wasn't hurting me. And why threaten Saul?"

Jake tipped his head back and closed his eyes, his voice ashamed, "I was jealous. I'm sorry; I know I have no right to be. I just... I see you laughing with the others and teasing, and I want that. I want to be your friend. I want you to care about me. I have never wanted anyone like I want you and I ruined us."

Rough knuckles trailed along my cheek as stormy gray-blue orbs regarded me. I could feel his longing, could see all the passing moments he was alone for years that stretched into decades. A few females who were casual, one that he loved for her beauty but let go the day she met her mate. He never had what I had with Kenneth and he hated and envied my late husband. He knew my truth; I had only ever loved once, a love I lost, a love that was a lie.

"It wasn't a lie." Jake's deep voice vibrated us both. "Everything he did was because he loved you. Just like I love you."

His lips hovered so close to mine, but he didn't lower them to kiss me. He was waiting while my fear and longing battled. I could feel his heart pounding against my chest. My breath felt like it was being crushed in my lungs. I could see so many possible futures in that moment. If I slapped him or shoved him away, my fear would win and hurt us both and our son. If I just pulled away completely, slowly, we would remain acquaintances sharing a child, friends maybe... someday? If I gave him a hug, we might become close friends, co-parenting J.J., and this moment won't happen again for many years... if it ever does. If I just raised up a little, let my lips touch his, we could build something that he has never known and that I thought I would never have again. We could have the myth of the bond. Just an inch... but I couldn't because I didn't trust any of this.

"Luna, Alpha Commander, come quickly. Will is back and he brought Ryan's mate," Craig's voice stole our moment and it was gone.

I ducked my head against Jake's shoulder as he released a growl of unhappiness. I squeaked when he stood, lifting me to my feet too. His arms felt so strong around me. He inhaled the scent of my hair before he dropped his arms. I practically ran around the house to get away from him. Behind me, I heard them.

"Sorry, Commander," Craig sounded amused.

"Craig, you always did have the worst timing." Jake growled as he took a pair of shorts. "Let's go see what my brother found. I've never seen a female Raver."

"Umm, sir, she's not a Raver, she just a teenager."

I ran faster as I heard snarling and barking. Ryan was being held back by his father as Richard stood in front of a girl with his arm blocking her, I knew her. "Chelsey?"

"Mrs. Phillips," she cried, trying to get past Richard. "Please... he's my mate."

I rushed to her. "Chelsey, you need to calm down. We have to be careful. He's a Raver."

She gave me a look I was grateful to have never gotten from my daughter. "I don't care. He's my mate, I have to get him out of here. Catch, you giant carpet."

Chelsey shoved me into Richard and dodged around Rob to tackle Ryan. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his Raver absorbed the impact. He hugged her then started snarling at everyone around them. I watched terrified he would maul her as I was mauled but instead, he sniffed her and licked her as she giggled joyfully. Rob howled happily, and several Raver's joined him. I walked over to the teenagers, glaring at Nicolea and Will, who stood next to his Hummer. Jake and Craig were standing next to Joshua as I introduced the new mates.

"Chelsey, meet Ryan Wems. Ryan, this is Chelsey Thomson. I am glad you found your mates, but we are going to have to figure somethings out before there is any mating."

Ryan growled at me and Richard snarled enough to make Chelsey whimper and Ryan bend his neck.

"You have to let us leave," she begged. "Please let me take him away."

"Chelsey, come inside and try to calm down. Ryan, let go, your wolf can come in, not your Raver." I insisted, I didn't know what else to do. "I'll make lunch."

VvvvvV

Jake...

I watched Shalom sleeping as I did every night. Will nudged me and I went to the kitchen past my late niece Jessica's room, Chelsey Thomson now slept in there. Rob and Richard dragged Ryan's Raver back to their house after Shalom told them there would be no mating until they were both eighteen. She also refused to let Chelsey take Ryan and his father and leave, even after Chelsey told us the same things she told Nic and Will about the Monarchy plans to kill all the Ravers. Shalom took the upset teen for a walk. When they came back, the feisty teen was strangely calm and compliant. I could only wonder what they said to each other beyond the "mother-daughter" talk Shalom claimed they had. It seemed like such a small world, the shewolf Will and I rescued the morning after the Revelation Night, was the daughter of Shalom's friend and knew Will's mate. I was glad she accepted Shalom's authority because I didn't want to force the girl to stay here.

Craig looked upset as he nursed a beer on the porch. "I called him on the Sat-Phone. He bought it, Commander. But I don't like it, I don't like lying to the Monarch."

Richard made a discontented grumbling. Will sunk his hand deeper in his pocket, the other tightened around his lager.

Saul shook his head, "We know he's coming, it's better that he comes sooner, rather than in the winter."

Will's thumbnail scraped at his bottle label in a nervous gesture, "Do you think he'll really believe that you've gone off the deep end? That he'll come after us, after our pack?"

"Will, the last time he saw me I was a Raver who couldn't shift back. You saw how upset he became seeing Richard and Grandpa. He's waiting for it to happen to us. He only knows what happened to those who got the Rage at the refugee center. We all know what happens when you put a wolf in a cage. It was the worst thing that could happen to them and they all died. We must make sure they don't capture or kill anymore Ravers, especially from our pack. When the attack comes, James will be on his way here or with them." I took a slow drink. "We are facing a battle with two fronts and no clear path of retreat. Our Enemy will hope to make it look like the Monarchy is a threat to J.J. so Shalom will go with them willingly."

"But I won't go with them, I won't risk my son," Shalom's voice surprised us. "You shouldn't be talking about this without me." Her hazel eyes showed just how angry she was.

"We didn't want you to worry," Saul responded quickly, and she leveled him with a look that I was glad she wasn't giving me. Joshua rumbled a growl and she gave him the same cold glare, but he wouldn't look away.

After a few moments of silence, I cleared my throat, "We wanted to have a plan before we told you."

She turned those dark hazel eyes on me, and my breath caught in my throat. I could almost hear the ranting litany of her anger about being left out because I believed she was just a housewife, but she spent years living off-grid and she would do it again. She didn't say a word as she held my gaze. The bond revealed everything; angry and defiant, but courageous and determined.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't because of anything other than you have a month-old pup to care for and I didn't want to worry you," I apologized quickly. "Trust me."

"Trust you?" Her eyes narrowed a fraction, her fists clenched, "You are months too late to worry about worrying me. I have been worried since I found out who you were, since I learned your brother thinks I am a rogue and the wife of a terrorist, since I was laying in the hospital in Oklahoma and found out I was pregnant. I disappeared then, and I can disappear now."

"Shalom, it isn't the same now, you can't protect Justice alone," Saul pointed out softly, and for a moment I wondered if she was going to launch herself at him. Maybe letting Richard and Saul train her wolf and fighting form isn't such a good idea after all.

"Do not tell me about the need to protect my son, Beta!" Her tone vibrated the air and even I wanted to bend my neck to her. I thought our son's power came from my family alone, but now I wonder who Shalom's parents really were. She continued, "Or what he needs protection from. I've read a lot about the dark fae and how dangerous they are... I've seen how dangerous they are, Saul."

"Shalom, we just want to keep the two of you safe," I growled out.

"Safe?" she laughed, but it was a mirthless sound, "There is no safe place, Jacob. Not since the ELM chemical fell in the snow two weeks before Halloween. Not since that night. None of us are safe now, we never were, and we may never be again. And the one person... being... demon...whatever the heck he is. The fae that keeps reaching out to me in my freaking dreams, who saved me and is promising to protect me... HE is the person I should trust least."

"I know." I retorted. "He's..." But she interrupted me.

"And the person that I trust least because of what he did to me." Her eyes bore hard into my soul. "Is the one I have no choice but to trust to save us now... So, don't talk to me about you keeping me safe, Jacob Vanguard. Because there is no such thing as safe or a safe place. Not. Any. More." Punctuating her last three words, she stabbed the tip of her finger into my chest in her anger and I couldn't stop thinking how beautiful she was, or how right she was. None of us were safe and I needed to stop letting the bond distract me. She turned and stomped back inside.

"Well, she took it better than I expected," Saul announced quietly, looking at the cigar he held between his fingers.

Grandpa Joshua snorted and Richard chuckled in the Raver way, but I gave them all a deadpan look. I could feel my feisty, angry mate watching us from the window.

Nic walked out on the porch. "Go home, Alpha Commander. You can plot on your own porch." Her glare was hostile.

"We're done for tonight, Nicolea. Tell Shalom, tomorrow, we will talk about her going to a safe place when my brother comes for J.J.. Come on, Will, Craig, let's go." I walked away from the fae and Saul.

VvvvvV

Gerard couldn't keep the smug smile off his perfect face as he read the message from Petra. The American Werewolf Monarch was planning on going to retrieve his nephew from their pack's abandoned territory since Quinn and Jake didn't seem to be reconciling. It seemed the little thorn Gerard planted in her mind was working to remind her of why she must hate him.

Perhaps Sebastian did not turn her against me, and the loss of his magic was a fluke, Gerard considered.

He never had a reason to doubt the old demon's loyalty, despite Galen's preposterous claim that Quinn swayed him. Looking at the proposed date, Gerard decided to arrange a little reunion of his own with Quinn, he only had to wait two days. He wondered how motherhood was agreeing with the future queen mother of the wolves, and he wondered how his little prince was doing. Wolf pups mature so much faster than human babies.

Gerard smiled down at his stolen princess asleep on his lap. Her raven hair braided so it won't muss while she rested, her tiny pearl fangs peeked out of her lips. She looked like Snow White. Gerard was telling her a story when the message came. He flipped to the last page and the words he saw made him tremble in rage. An Angelus Fae Merle Greyson was working with the Werewolf Monarchy and Covenant Vampires.

His mother Morgana's half-brother Merlin surfaced after a decades-long absence. Tapping his finger on the edge of the paper, Gerard wondered if Greyson had spoken to his brother yet. A thought he quickly dismissed. Galen blamed Greyson for not saving Madeline, she was his ward after all.

This could work out to my advantage. If I can set Merlin and Galen against each other, I can be rid of them both. Scheming, Gerard picked up a phone and dial the number Galen always gave those he had helped.

Galen answered on the first ring. "What is it, brother?"

"Our uncle is back," Gerard informed him.

Galen growled inhumanly, and Gerard couldn't help his self-satisfied smirk, as he taunted his brother. "Just thought you would like to know so you can kill him."

"Kill him yourself, Gerard. I hate him and that damages my soul enough."

"Fine, anything you want to tell him when I do?" Gerard couldn't help it, he really wanted to know what last words his brother would say to the Fae who was like a father to him until he was cursed.

"Yeah, tell him I said, I still hate him. Don't call this number again." Galen hung up and Gerard chuckled savoring the moment. Hatred was the equivalent of murder for an Angeles. His brother was too easy to get a rise out of since he was cursed.

"Liam, gather the clan. We are going to Colorado." Gerard carried his little vampire princess to her room for the day.

Laying her in bed, she murmured, "Good sleep, papa."

"Good sleep, my precious pearl. Do you want a drink before bed?"

Her head bobbed, and he held his wrist to her. She sucked from the tiny holes her little fangs made in his flesh. His other hand stroked her braided hair. "Portia, Papa has to go away for a few days. So, Petra will be helping Desdemona keep you safe, can you be a good princess for them?"

Portia licked her lips as she snuggled back into her pillow. "Yes, Papa. I will be very good. Thank you for the drink, you taste better than Nanny Desdemona. She tastes bitter."

He sighed, it was the difference between blessed fae and dark fae blood. "I am glad to feed you. Now go to sleep."

"Papa?"

"Yes, my princess?"

"Will I meet my prince soon?" Her large eyes blinked sleepily as she asked.

"Yes, my princess, I'll bring him home, so we can keep him safe."

VvvvvV

"Yeah, tell him I said, I still hate him." Galen snarl just before he hung up on his brother. Galen tapped the phone back into his pocket as his uncle regarded him with calm silver eyes.

"You are becoming too comfortable with lying, nephew."

"If I am talking to Gerard, it doesn't count as lies. He does not know how to hear truth," Galen responded with hostility.

Greyson lifted a skeptical eyebrow. "Be careful Galen, hatred is a comfortable taint, effortless as it consumes compassion."

Galen closed his eyes against Greyson's admonishment, his uncle was right. Galen knew he was right, but he couldn't help the dark feelings bearing Gerard's evil stirred up in his soul.

"Petra told him?" Bianca asked tiredly. They had grown up believing Petra was a redeemed fae, but either she had fallen instead of ascended after being released from her curse or she was a forever blessed Demonus. Greyson was right about who the last spy was.

"He didn't say anything about it, but it is the only way he would know Greyson is helping the wolves. Petra would have told him you are working with Monarch James, Uncle. That is why he called me to taunt me, to see how I would react. Now, we just wait for the Monarch to try to retrieve his heir, Gerard will attack then. A ruse to convince Quinn the wolves mean to harm her and her child. He loves to play the hero."

The bitterness of Galen's tone had Bianca rubbing his back. He could feel her light wanting to heal him, wanting to take some of the darkness but he couldn't let any of it go. Galen must carry his burden alone, storing the foul energy inside his soul until the moment he was redeemed. The more darkness Galen carried, the more harm it would do to Gerard when it returned to him. It was a risky gambit, but it was his hope that it would give Quinn and the Ravers what they needed to escape his mother's clan of dark fae and blessed ones.

Galen could see the glow along his uncle's fingertips, that the ancient light made him desire to heal a cursed one, but it could not be, and it made Galen's heart ache that his uncle may never see him redeemed.

"We need to plan on how to get the princess away from your mother and back to her people. She cannot travel as we do, and the location of the clan is remote, too remote to physically fly the child to safety before the sun rises," Bianca scowled.

Greyson gave her a bland smile, "Perhaps for our wings, but there are other ways to fly away and soon a Monarch will owe us a favor. It will allow us to move her to a safe place."

"But whose safe place?" Bianca frowned.