"So how is it?" Abi asked while collapsing onto Miriam's bed.

"How's what?" Miriam fell beside her.

"The sex." She flinched. "Wait, hold on, are these your sex sheets?"

Laughing, Miriam shook her head. "We haven't had sex," she said.

"What do you mean you haven't had sex?" Abi turned on her side, eyes so wide they were halfway out of their sockets. "Why the hell haven't you two had sex? He cooked for you, Mer. Cooked. That might be better than sex."

Miriam's laughter only grew. "We haven't had sex because we're taking things slow. There's a lot at stake here, you know."

The sound of the front door opening interrupted Abi's response. It was quickly followed by footsteps and then Wes himself standing in the doorway of Miriam's room. "Hey," she smiled up at him. He didn't return the gesture and instead asked Abi to leave. A request she was far too happy to comply with as she slid off the bed and scampered away.

"Call me," she shouted before the front door slammed shut.

Miriam expected a kiss, if not kisses. She expected Wes to wrap her up in his arms and hold her close. But instead he remained in the doorway, maintaining some distance, and fixed her with a stare that was both parts tender and withering.

"What's up?" Miriam asked, sitting upright, and crossing her legs.

"I'm going to ask you something," Wes said. "And I want you to be totally honest."

"Yeah, of course. What's going on?"

"Do girls pay you to get revenge on their exs?" His voice was level, expression blank, and yet, his words alone were enough to make Miriam's heart stop.

"P-pardon?" she spluttered.

"Do girls pay you to get revenge on their exs?" Wes repeated himself, over-enunciating each syllable.

"I—"

"Don't lie," he said.

Miriam licked her lips and glanced up at the ceiling. She told herself it would all be okay, that it had to be. Wes knew her, he understood her. Once she explained herself, he'd get it. He had to.

"Yes," Miriam whispered.

"What was that?" His gaze hardened, impenetrable and unrelenting.

"I said yes." Miriam's hands balled into fists. "Girls pay me to get revenge on their exs."

Where Wes had been fort knox, he crumbled, face falling, body slumping, grip slackening. "What the fuck?" he whispered.

"I—"

"No, you don't get to talk." Wes slapped the door frame; Miriam flinched. "I can't believe you, Miriam. That's fucked up. I mean, who made you judge and jury?"

"No one," she said, voice raised to be heard over his. "But you don't understand. People around here need this. Guys like Ade don't know what it's like—"

"So, you did this to Ade?" Wes was scarily calm again.

"Yeah, but only because—"

"Do you know who Hilary is?" he asked.

Miriam racked her brain, thinking back to all the women she'd helped over the years. Except there was no Hilary, so she shook her head.

"Back in first year," Wes said, "she was dating Ade. And I—"

"Slept with her," Miriam murmured.

Wes straightened. "What was that?" he asked, head cocking to one side.

"Abi told me," Miriam said quickly. "I think Daniel told her."

Wes stilled for what felt like an age, then stepped into the room. He loomed above Miriam, towering in a way that made her feel even smaller than she had when he was stood by the doorframe. "So you knew?" he said.

Miriam nodded weakly while Wes tipped his head back and sighed.

"Is that why you kissed me?" he eventually asked. "Was I just some sort of twisted pawn in your game."

Miriam felt the blood drain from her face. "Of course not." Her hand reached for his, but he stepped back. "I didn't want to get you involved in this," she said. "You have to believe me."

"Believe you?" he sneered. "You've been lying to me for god knows how long."

"I-I'm sorry, okay. But I promise, I didn't kiss you to hurt Ade. I wasn't even thinking about him or the job or anything in that moment. All that mattered was you."

"I wish I could believe you," Wes croaked, tears glistening in his eyes, "but—"

"Ask me anything," Miriam said, shouted. "Ask me anything about all of this and I'll tell you everything. You have my word."

His right eye twitched, but he stepped forward and perched on the edge of her bed. "When did this start?"

Miriam inhaled deeply. "The end of first year," she said.

"After Josh?" he asked.

"Yeah." Miriam closed her eyes. If he wanted the truth, she'd give it him, complete, full, unedited. "It was an accident," she said. "I was at book club, talking to some girls and I said that I wished I could pay someone to do to him what he did to me. Then, one of them who'd just been through what I had said she wished the same and I offered. They all thought I was joking, but it felt right, you know."

"No. It's fucked Miriam."

"Maybe, but it's also like karmic intervention."

"Karma doesn't need a helping hand," Wes sneered.

Miriam bit her lip. Clearly protesting wasn't going to help. "Do you have anymore questions," she asked instead.

"One more." He leaned forward. "Have you ever done this to any of my friends?"

Miriam was ready to say no, but then she remembered Kojo. She'd never liked him, took great delight in ruining him, but then after that he and Wes stopped talking. Miriam didn't think it had anything to do with her at the time, Wes didn't even know they were hanging out, but now she thought about it, what if she had been the reason for the distance. And yet, she'd promised honesty. If all this could get out, who's to say her moment with Kojo wouldn't too.

"Kojo," Wes bit out. "You're kidding."

"No."

"When was this?" he asked.

"September."

He nodded slowly, seemingly digesting the information, then jumped up. "I'm going to Sam's," he said.

Miriam shot after him, chasing him straight into his room. "Why?" she shouted.

"Because I can't even look at you right now. It's wrong, Miriam. All of it. Kojo and I stopped hanging out because of you. He was the only person who kept in contact with me after everything that happened with Ade, the only one. And he must think I betrayed him."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think—"

"Clearly not." Wes grabbed a duffle and began throwing things in. Tops and trousers, underwear.

"Please stop." Miriam grabbed his wrist. He yanked it away from her, but she kept going. "Don't go," she said. "Please. I'll, I'll make it up to you. I'll make this right."

"I just need some space," Wes said, pushing past her.

"How long?"

"I don't know, Miriam. A week, two weeks, however long it takes. I don't know if I can do this with you knowing what I know. Knowing that you somehow think you were in the right." With that he stormed out, phone pressed to his ear as he spoke quickly and quietly.

Miriam would've cried if not for the overwhelming sense of emptiness which filled her. He was gone. Really and truly gone. They were gone. Worse, Miriam didn't know if they could ever get back.

She stayed, curled in a ball in the middle of Wes' bed for what felt like hours. Then she heard keys in the door and jumped up, sprinting into the hallway, apology primed and ready. But it was Abi. She was holding two McDonalds bags and wearing a sheepish smile, Wes' keys dangling off her index finger.

"Wes told me what—"

"Why do you have his keys?" Miriam couldn't bare to tear her eyes from them.

Abi closed the door, then kicked off her trainers and placed a hand on Miriam's shoulder. With a gentle nudge, she led Miriam into the living room and guided her onto the sofa. She then began unpacking the McDonalds, all Miriam's favourites laid out in front of her. Usually she'd be salivating at this point, but her mouth remained as dry as a carboard box.

"Why do you have his keys?" she asked again, glaring accusingly at Abi.

"Wes called," Abi eventually said. "He told me what happened."

"The keys, Abi. Why do you have the fucking keys?"

"I-he asked me to keep them until he was sure he could talk to you."

A single, broken sob rang out.

"But." Abi scrambled to Miriam's side, her arms shooting out and wrapping her up in the biggest hug imaginable. "He also asked me to come over, make sure you're alright."

"That's because he's a good person," Miriam sniffed, tears dribbling down her cheeks in fat, salty droplets. They collected between her lips and slipped into her mouth when she hiccupped. "He's a fucking good person, Abi, and I'm—"

"You're a good person too." Abi squeezed her tighter, rocking back and forth. "Obviously he's going to have some reservations, you've kept this whole thing a secret for so long, but think about how many people you helped."

"Was it my place to help?" Miriam whispered. "Was it my job to intervene?" Like Wes said, karma doesn't need a helping hand.

"Who's to say," Abi murmured. "But you thought you were doing the right thing in the moment and that's all that matters."

"I don't know if that's true anymore," Miriam admitted, crying harder now.

"Look, you're clearly upset." Abi untangled herself from Miriam's shaking frame and grabbed a bag of nuggets. Producing one, she offered it up to Miriam like a mother hen. "I say we eat, watch a movie, go to bed and think about this in the morning."

"It's not going to change anything," Miriam said, shaking her head with such vehemence she felt it loosen. "I've got to make this right. I've got to Abs. He's everything, I can't lose him, not over this. I won't. I—"

"You won't," Abi said with enough force Miriam stilled. "But there's nothing you can do right now. So, eat your nugget and we'll talk about it in the morning."

"But—"

"The morning Miriam."

Sighing, she accepted the nugget and nibbled on one of the edges. Maybe Abi was right. But, if Miriam knew anything, even in this manic state, it was that her quest with forgiveness started with Ade. 

***

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