Miriam returned home after her final seminar of the day to the following note scrawled in Wes' cramped handwriting:

No yoga today, instructors sick. I'm going to Sam's, don't wait up.

Wes

This is how they'd communicated since the fight, not that Miriam wanted to think of it as a fight, but here they were with him not talking to her, at least not really, and avoiding her on top of that, which meant it was a fight. It was also torture, made worse by Ade who called Miriam moments later.

Miriam cracked her neck and fixed the brightest smile to her face in the hope it would chase away her blues. "Hey," she said, proud of the palpable glee which managed to infect her voice.

"What are you doing right now?" Ade asked, his voice as bright as hers.

Miriam padded into the living room and sat cross-legged on the sofa. She could tell the truth, be honest and say nothing, but that would make her far too available for her liking, so she sucked in an audible breath and said, "I'm just about to leave for the library."

"Mind if I join you?"

"I don't know," she said in a sing-song voice, "might be too intense."

"Oh." Ade sounded flat, deflated almost.

"Might also be fun," she laughed, throwing him a much-needed bone. "I mean a girl can only scroll through online archives for so long."

"Archives?" Ade asked.

"For my diss," she explained. "I'm exploring the wages for housework movement."

"You know what I never asked," Ade said.

"What I study?"

"Yeah." His laugh sounded appropriately shameful. "So, what do you study?" he asked.

"I'm a joint honours student, comparative lit and history. You do maths, right?"

"Yeah, how did you—"

"Ryan," Miriam said. "And Grace."

Ade's breath hitched, melting away the last vestiges of pretence from Miriam's smile. Who knew messing with him could be so fun. "You and Grace spoke about me?" he choked.

"Barely," Miriam laughed. "I mean, I had to know what I was getting myself into with you, and since you guys used to hang out, who better to ask."

"I wouldn't call it hanging out," Ade said quickly. Miriam moved the phone away from her face and let out a giggle.

"Oh," she said, voice solemn and concerned. "What would you call it then?"

"Um, well, I guess I would say it was kind of like dating, you know. Only it didn't really work, so if she would prefer to say hanging out, I guess that's cool too. I mean it's all semantics, right."

Miriam pursed her lips. She was sure that under different circumstances his answer would be far less than dating and nowhere near hanging out. That, if she were another girl, Grace would be deemed crazy and untrustworthy. And yet, for Grace's sake, she said, "Yeah, I guess it is. Anyway, should we meet in half an hour?"

"Yeah." Ade sounded relieved. "I'll be the one with the muffins."

True to form, Ade was sitting at a table near the back of the ground floor with four muffins, two takeaway cups and his laptop. His gaze was fixed on the screen, fingers flying across the keyboard, focused beyond belief. It was somewhat attractive, you know, if you were into that sort of thing. But Miriam could imagine he issued the same kind of dedication to his work that he did to ruining girls lives up and down Eastford's campus, so it was less impressive.

When she placed her backpack on the seat opposite his, he glanced up and smiled so softly it seemed like Miriam was the only girl in the world. She returned the gesture with a little less gumption, then unzipped her bag and fished her laptop out of the back pocket. Opening it, she quickly typed her password in and then took a seat.

"Here." Ade pushed over one of the takeaway cups. "For you."

"Thanks." Miriam took a long sip and struggled to muffle the moan of pleasure which threatened to erupt once she'd swallowed her much-needed caffeine fix.

"Are you a blueberry or chocolate kind of girl?" Ade asked once she placed the coffee beside her laptop.

"Blueberry always."

He clutched at his chest, long lashes flapping. "You wound me," he said before handing over a blueberry muffin.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're incredibly cheesy, and that's coming from a full-blown dorky dork?" Miriam asked.

"One." Ade held up a finger. "I'm not cheesy. And two, what makes you a dorky dork?"

Miriam leaned down and produced two paperbacks from the depths of her backpack. "A dorky dork would never be caught dead without at least two of these, three if they were going for an award."

Ade laughed then stretched out a hand and slid one of the books towards his side of the table. "You made a fool of death with your beauty," he said carefully before flicking through the dog-eared pages, revealing flashes of pale yellow and vibrant pink. "Is this your latest book club read?" he asked.

"No." Miriam wanted to snatch the book back. Wes always said you could tell a lot about her from her annotations. She never believed him, obviously, he already knew everything there was to know, but in Ade's hands, she wondered if maybe there'd been some truth to Wes' words.

"For class?" Ade asked, glancing up.

The truth was that it was her favourite book. Messy beyond belief, ridiculous in parts, but beautiful. So beautiful she found herself re-reading passages, savouring the words like a gospel. True it was no way to live your life, but something about choosing to live as authentically as possible without, at times, regard for the consequences spoke to Miriam. Maybe because she knew she hadn't for so very long. And yet she couldn't tell Ade all this, wouldn't, so she nodded as if he'd hit the nail on the head and let out a short sigh of relief when the book was safely hidden in her bag.

Around four-thirty, Miriam's phone began ringing. She barely glanced at it, deep in the throes of the national archives online depositary, then swore beneath her breath when she caught one of Abi's many messages. "Shit, shit, shit," she muttered while closing her laptop and slipping it into her bag.

Ade startled and half-closed his own device. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I have a book club event," Miriam said, scrambling to her feet. "I completely forgot. Grace is going to kill me if I'm late." That was later than the attendees. Under Grace's reign of terror, committee members were expected thirty minutes earlier to help set up. Caught shirking your duties and you were in for a long evening.

"Where is it?" Ade asked, packing away his things.

"The student union," Miriam said. "I was supposed to bring snacks."

"We can hit up the Tesco's," Ade said. "I don't mind helping."

"That's sweet," Miriam laughed, "but I think Grace would hate that."

"Why?" The panic on his face was palpable.

"Because you haven't paid for a ticket," she said, "and the book club is supposed to be a safe space. Having you there, even for a moment, would kind of defeat the purpose."

"Right." He sagged. "The thing is, I was kinda hoping we could...I don't know, keep hanging out."

"What, today?" she asked.

He nodded; eyes locked on the floor.

"I mean we could always go out after book club," Miriam said while slinging her bag over her shoulders. It might be too much for one day, but he looked like he needed it, and until he was broken, she was at his every whim.

"Yeah," he smiled, "or we could stay in."

Miriam's spine stiffened. Of course a guy like Ade was trying a trick like this oh so early. It wasn't that she was opposed to Netflix and chill situations, she understood they came with the territory, but something in her knew the moment Ade managed to get her into his house, he'd stop trying. All that momentum lost. So, Miriam shook her head and said, "I like out better."

Ade gulped, his prominent Adam's apple bopping while he nodded profusely. "Okay," he said, rubbing the side of his neck. "We could do dinner."

"Nando's?" Miriam asked. Low stakes, unsexy, perfect Nando's.

"Yeah," Ade said far too quickly. "Whatever you want."

"Cool. I'll meet you there around eight?"

"Eight it is."

They left library together, just shy of hand in hand. The moment they stepped through the automatic doors, Miriam spotted Wes. He was, as he said, with Sam, one of his course mates. They were laughing by the entrance of Grind, coffee cups to hand. Miriam felt her heart skip a beat. Not at the sight of him, but the sight of his laughter. At the one thing she couldn't get from him, worse than his voice or his touch; if she missed anything, it was his joy.

Shaking her head, she turned to Ade and smiled. "See you later."

"I'll be the one in white."

She laughed for the sake of it and headed in the opposite direction. Each step brought her closer to Wes who, she knew, would ignore her. What she didn't consider was Sam. Smiley, happy, friendly Sam who raised a hand above his head and shouted her name. Miriam froze for a second, eyes squeezed shut, then turned slowly on her heel.

"Hey," she said with a lacklustre smile. "How are you?"

"I'm good." Sam bundled her in a hug. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, the last time we saw one another was at Sandy's."

He glanced up for a moment then nodded enthusiastically, shaggy brown hair bouncing. "It was," he said. "A bunch of us are actually going to stop by tonight, you should totally come."

"I'd love to," Miriam said, fixing her gaze solely on Sam, "but I have plans."

"With Ade?" Wes piped up.

Miriam had the overwhelming urge to ask him if they were speaking now, but resisted, barely, and nodded before gesturing vaguely over her shoulder. "I should get going anyway," she said, "I have a society thing."

"Okay." Sam hugged her again. "Don't be a stranger."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Just before she turned to leave, Miriam caught Wes' eye. His expression was blank, not crestfallen nor smiling. It also wasn't nonchalant. It just was. A fact which rankled Miriam because in all the time she'd known him, she'd always known what he was thinking, and now she was left with nothing.

***

Please vote, comment and share.

Misslaughalot_

xxx